by Cassia Leo
Well.
That was done then. She wasn’t a virgin anymore. And she didn’t feel any different.
Maybe a little sore.
All those romance novels she’d read where the girl felt a little stab of pain that faded into some kind of mind-blowing pleasure? They’d lied. Sex had hurt like fuck. The whole time.
Maybe it was a little less at the end. Or maybe she’d just gotten kind of numb towards the end. She wasn’t sure. She was sure that it hadn’t felt good. Like, not good in the slightest. And she couldn’t even blame Heath for it, because she didn’t think he could have done anything differently.
After all, everything that had led up to it had been really amazing. It had all felt awesome.
Maybe it was only because it was the first time. Everyone said the first time sucked. Maybe the second time would be better.
Heath stirred next to her, muttering in his sleep.
She kissed his forehead. Poor thing. At least he seemed to like it. She couldn’t believe what Matt had done to him, going at him with that broken bottle like that. She’d been so afraid that he’d killed Heath.
When she realized he was alive, that was the moment she’d realized that she was going to have sex with him. She’d thought, If I can get him cleaned up, and he doesn’t have to go to the hospital, we’re doing it.
And he’d been okay. So, they had.
She was glad. Not just because she got it over with, but because it made her feel closer to Heath, and it reminded her of everything she knew deep down. That she and Heath belonged to each other. When he’d been inside her, she’d felt complete. It had hurt, but the pain had been okay. Even the blood had been okay, though she wasn’t sure how she was going to explain she’d ruined her best towel. If it took a little pain and blood for the two of them to be fused into one being, then that was what it took.
And she’d make love to him again, over and over, even if it never felt good and it always hurt like that. Because when he was in her body, she was whole. He finished her.
She’d been confused before about the whole Eli thing, but she wasn’t confused anymore.
She understood her feelings toward Eli now. They weren’t anything like her feelings toward Heath. But they were useful feelings. Now Cathy saw what was important. And she knew what she had to do.
Heath wouldn’t understand, but in the end, he’d see. It was the only way.
*
Cathy set down the tiny black box on the counter at the pawn shop. “I have these. How much could you give me for them?”
The man opened the box and looked at the glittering earrings. He let out a low whistling breath. “Where’d you get these?”
“Are they worth a lot?”
He told her.
She bit her lip and nodded. “I’ll take the money.”
***
2013
Gage was unlocking Thera’s door again. She hadn’t been out in days. He usually just opened the door to hand her a plate of food, which she had to eat alone in her room. She guessed that being invited to dinner the first night had been a rare occurrence.
She ran to the door. “Gage?”
There was no answer. The door pushed open. Gage glared at her.
“You’ve got to help me,” she said. “Please. Call my father. Tell him where I am.”
“That’s why I’m coming to get you,” said Gage. “Heath’s going to call your dad.”
It was the longest sentence she’d ever heard him say. “He is?”
“You gonna come willingly, or do I have to drag you again?”
She straightened her shoulders. “Why should I do anything willingly? I’m being held prisoner. Surely you can see that isn’t right. Heath is insane.”
“He’s a hard man,” said Gage, “but he’s good in his own way. He’s like a father to me. I know he won’t hurt you. Not really.”
“Denying me my freedom is hurting me,” she said. “Please. You’re the only one who seems like a decent person.”
“Decent person? Not a retarded lackey?” he said pointedly. And then he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the room.
“I’m sorry I said that,” she said, struggling to keep her feet moving at the same pace as Gage. “I was only afraid and angry. This situation doesn’t bring out the best in me.”
He didn’t say anything. He tightened his grip on her.
She bit her lip. It hurt. “Okay, okay, Gage. I’ll walk on my own. Let go of me.”
They were at the top of the steps. She could see the doorway to the outside from here. Maybe she could make a break for it, shoot down the stairs and out the door.
“I don’t think so,” said Gage. He held onto her all the way down the steps.
Heath and Linton were in the den.
Gage threw her down on a settee and stood next to her, blocking her path out of the room. Thera could see the way things were now. Heath was the brains of the operation, Linton was the sadist who enjoyed it, and Gage was the muscle. She was never going to get out of here.
“Well, hello, Catherine,” said Heath. “I hope you’re well.”
“Well?” she said. “I’ve been kidnapped by a bunch of sickos.”
“Sicko?” Heath considered. “Yes, I suppose that’s about accurate.” He sat down next to her. “He stole her from me, you know? Your father. I can’t forgive him for that. I don’t even want to. I just want him to hurt, the way I hurt. If you’re here, if you leave him the way that Cathy left me, then maybe that’ll hurt him. What do you think?”
“But I didn’t leave him,” I said. “You’re keeping me captive here.”
Heath shrugged. “It’s really all the same, isn’t it? I don’t see why it matters if you’re here willingly or not.” He took a phone out of his pocket. Thera recognized it. It was her cell phone. He dialed.
He had it on speaker phone, and Thera could hear it ringing.
Her father picked up. “Thera? Thera baby, is that you? Where are you, sweetheart?”
“Dad, I’m in West Virginia. I went to see Heath. I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you.”
Heath laughed, a low chuckle. “Nice to hear your voice again, Eli.”
“Heath?”
“Your daughter doesn’t look a thing like you, you know? She’s all Cathy.”
“You…” Eli seemed to be at a loss for words. “You bastard.”
“People have been calling me that my whole life,” said Heath. “Throw some racial slurs in there while you’re at it, huh?”
“What are you doing with her? What are you doing with Thera?”
Heath smiled. “Doing with her? Nothing. Nothing at all. She’s very comfortable. Catherine, tell your father we haven’t hurt a hair on your pretty little head.”
“I’m okay,” Thera said.
“But I’m not going to let her go,” said Heath.
“You want something?” said Eli. “You want money? I have money, Heath. I’ll give you anything you want.”
“Really?” Heath leaned back, relishing this. “Beg me, Eli.”
“Please,” said Eli. “Give her back. I’ll do anything. I beg you.”
Heath closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Oh, that was very nice. Maybe I’ll call you back tomorrow and get you to do it again.”
Heath hung the phone up. Then he took the battery and the SIM card out of it. “He’s probably going to call the police. I hear they can track cell phones.”
Thera shook her head. “I don’t understand. Why would you do this?”
“I thought you’d already figured that out,” said Heath. “I’m a sicko.” He smiled at her. “I went crazy when she died, you know.”
“But why now? Why me? After all this time, it doesn’t make sense,” said Thera.
“You’re eighteen,” said Heath. “That’s how old she was when she died. But I guess you knew that, didn’t you?”
She hadn’t.
“No.” Heath’s voice was like silk. “You didn’t know.
How odd.”
“Dad doesn’t talk about her much,” she said. She looked up at Heath. “What was my mother like?”
“She was the cruelest person I ever met,” said Heath. “She was strong. She was beautiful. She was confused and crazy and reckless. She looked just like you.” His voice cracked. He stood up. His lip was trembling.
He turned on Linton. “What are you looking at?”
Linton’s eyes widened. He cowered. “I’m not. I wasn’t—”
Heath lifted his hand, heavy with rings, and backhanded the boy. The sound of the slap echoed in the quiet room.
Linton whimpered.
“Don’t mock me with your eyes, boy,” Heath growled. He left the room, slamming the door behind him.
Thera tried to melt into the settee.
He was insane.
*
Linton perched on the edge of her bed. “You don’t know what it’s like to live with him. You don’t know the things he’s done to me.” His eyes flitted around the room, as if he was afraid that Heath could hear him. “Sometimes, I think my mother killed herself just to get away from him.”
“Did he hit her too?” said Thera.
“I don’t know,” said Linton. “I don’t remember. He hits me, though.”
“A lot?”
“When he drinks,” said Linton. “Sometimes when he’s sober. He’s impossible to predict. Sometimes he’s fine, but other times, he goes absolutely crazy.”
“So why stay here?” said Thera. “Why not run away? You and I could go together. We could get away from him.”
“You’d come with me?” said Linton. “You wouldn’t try to get away from me once we were out of this house?”
“Of course not,” she said, but inwardly, she panicked. She kept forgetting that Linton was just as crazy as his father. He was cruel too. Maybe it was because he’d been raised by that man. She didn’t know. But it didn’t change the fact that she had to be wary of Linton. Still, if the two of them could get away, she could worry about dealing with Linton later. He had to be easier than dealing with Heath.
Linton eyed her. “I don’t believe you. We’d get away, and you’d abandon me. You don’t actually like me. You’re only pretending because you want my help.”
“I like you,” she said, desperation seeping through her.
He shook his head. “You’re a bad liar.” He got off the bed and walked to the window. “I hate my father. But he did get you here for me. I couldn’t have written those letters without him.”
Her father had been right. Heath had written the facebook messages. So, who was Linton, if not the fun-loving and interesting guy she’d chatted with? And if Heath had written those messages, did that mean that guy was hidden somewhere inside him? Was that why her mother had loved him? How could her mother have ever loved him?
“I’m not good with that kind of thing,” said Linton. “I don’t know how to seem… normal. My father says I’m soft like my mother. But I’m not soft.” He turned to her, his smile vaguely demented. “My father just doesn’t understand my strength.”
She swallowed. “Right. Well, I would understand.”
“Would you?” Linton walked over to the bed where she was sitting. He ran his knuckles over her cheek—a caress. Then his fingers traveled over her lips.
She shied away from him. “Linton. I’m your cousin.”
Linton smiled. “That’s right, you are. We have so much in common, Thera. We need to stick together.”
A tendril of horror wound its way up her spine. What the hell was going to happen to her here?
***
1993
The Linton house was enormous and modern. It was shaped like an “L,” with a three-story tower jutting up from the rest of the house, a long stretch of window-lined rooms. It was tucked into a valley, mountains looking down on it. The front lawn was landscaped—sculpted shrubs and autumn flowers. There was a pool in the backyard. Red and yellow leaves floated on its surface.
Isabella was lounging by the pool when Eli finished giving Cathy the tour.
“You two given up hiding that you’re madly in love with each other yet?” Isabella asked.
Eli blushed.
Cathy laughed. “Who was hiding anything? Not me. I’m an open book.”
“No,” said Eli. “You’re impossible to figure out.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“But I like that about you.”
Isabella got out of her chair. “I guess you two want privacy.”
“Don’t be silly,” said Cathy. “Stay right where you are.”
“I was going inside anyway,” said Isabella. “It’s a little too chilly out here.” She pulled her sweater tighter and started for the house. “Oh, Cathy, do you want to come shopping with me and some of the girls next week?”
Cathy knew what she meant by “some of the girls.” Isabella had taken to hanging out with the clique of doctors’ and lawyers’ daughters at their school. “No, I couldn’t. I don’t really have much extra cash right now.”
“Too bad,” said Isabella. “Let me know if you change your mind.” She disappeared into the house.
Cathy and Eli watched her go.
Then they were quiet.
He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the still surface of the pool.
Cathy took a deep breath. She closed her eyes. And then she pressed herself into Eli, finding his lips and kissing him.
This time, she lingered. She opened her mouth to him, teasing his tongue with her own.
It was different than kissing Heath. It was… lighter. Sweet like sugar. Not achingly, deeply pleasant. In some ways, that was a relief.
Eli crushed her close, one hand splayed against the small of her back, one hand tangled in her hair.
When she pulled away from him, his eyes were still closed.
“You taste like the wind,” he murmured.
She felt shy. He had a way with words, that was for sure. She tugged away from him. “You can’t be with me, though, can you, Eli? I mean, not really. I can’t even afford to go shopping with your sister.”
“You want to go?” asked Eli. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He took out several bills.
“Oh, no, I couldn’t,” she said.
He pressed the money into her hand. “Take it. I want to give it to you.”
And she smiled, feeling victorious.
*
Eli screeched the car to a halt, because Heath was in the middle of the road. He was lit up, the setting sun at his back, his hair a brilliant halo around his face. He looked like an avenging angel.
Cathy opened the door the car. “Heath—”
Eli put his hand on her arm. “You don’t have to do that, Cathy. You don’t have to soothe him. He’ll either accept what’s going on between us or he won’t.”
She’d been at Eli’s house. That was why she was so late.
But the money he’d given her was in her pocket. Safe.
And Cathy knew she was doing the right thing. But she had to figure out how to keep Heath from freaking out the way he was doing right now.
“Eli, just let me talk to him,” she said.
“No,” said Eli. “I don’t think you should be alone with him. He looks dangerous. I want to stay with you.”
She rolled her eyes. Like Eli was any kind of match for Heath.
But Eli was already getting out of the car and approaching Heath. “You’re in the way.”
Heath’s hands were clenched in fists. He was taking long, shuddering breaths.
Shit. Cathy got out of the car and ran between them. She touched Heath’s chest, stroking him. “Don’t. Please. Calm down.”
He looked at her, and there was heartbreak all over his face.
She felt like her heart was breaking too. She thought she might cry. She turned back to Eli. “Let me talk to him.”
Eli eyed Heath warily. “What if he hurts you?”
“He would never—”
�
��You’re the one I’m going to hurt.” Heath’s voice was gravelly. “You stay away from her.”
“He gave me a ride home, Heath,” she said, stroking his chest again, pleading with him. “Just calm down. Calm down.” She looked at Eli. “You need to go. Go, now. He will hurt you.”
Eli took a step back. He looked at her hand on Heath’s chest. A trouble expression crossed his blue eyes. “I guess you don’t have any illusions about me hurting him.” He looked at the ground. “Of course not.”
“I’ll call you later,” she said.
“You’ll what?” said Heath.
Damn it. Why did this have to be so difficult?
Eli got back in his car.
He backed out of the driveway, and she and Heath watched him go, the fading sunlight reflecting on the shiny paint job.
“Where have you been? What have you been doing? Were you with him the whole time?” Heath was agonized.
She hated for him to feel like that. She took both of his hands. “It was for school. We’re working on a project. I’m going to have to be at his house a lot.”
“Don’t lie to me,” said Heath.
“I’m not,” she said.
He thrust both of his hands into his hair. “You made me say I was yours. But you never said you were mine, did you?”
She touched his face. She ran her fingers over the stubble on his chin. “I’m yours.”
“Cathy, you’ve been with him all evening. For hours.”
“For school,” she said. She took him by the hand and pulled him with her. She led him to the tenant house, up the steps of the porch.
“What are you doing?” he said.
“Let’s go to your room,” she said. She started up the steps.
He hesitated, but then he followed her. When they got to the second floor, he followed her into his room. He shut the door.
She pulled off her shirt.