by Lee Rose
Red Hook, Texas 4
Here Without You
Holly Davis is having a really bad day, from getting taken as a hostage to being rescued by Deputy Matt Smith, the man she is in love with. A man who has no interest in her. A man who broke her heart. Can things get any worse? Yes they can. It seems her bad day is turning into a bad summer.
Matt Smith is tired of pretending he has no feelings for the beautiful nurse, Holly Davis. When she becomes the target of an angry drug dealer he vows to do whatever it takes to protect her. The problem is the more time he spends with her the harder it is to hide his true feelings.
Will he confess his love for her in time or will her enemies get to her first? He has to convince her he is ready to be the man she needs in her life but first he has to gather up the courage...
Genre: Contemporary
Length: 34,872 words
HERE WITHOUT YOU
Red Hook, Texas 4
Lee Rose
EROTIC ROMANCE
Siren Publishing, Inc.
www.SirenPublishing.com
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A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK
IMPRINT: Erotic Romance
HERE WITHOUT YOU
Copyright © 2015 by Lee Rose
E-book ISBN: 978-1-63259-725-0
First E-book Publication: September 2015
Cover design by Harris Channing
All art and logo copyright © 2015 by Siren Publishing, Inc.
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Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
About the Author
HERE WITHOUT YOU
Red Hook, Texas 4
LEE ROSE
Copyright © 2015
Chapter 1
Mondays were never a good thing in Holly Davis’s opinion. She always spent the day wishing for more weekend. She had woken up to a gloomy day that matched the melancholy mood she couldn’t get rid of. Maybe a hot breakfast would cheer her up, she told herself.
She entered Helena’s Diner hoping some food in her stomach would help her feel better before clocking into her shift at the hospital. She loved her job as a nurse. It kept her lonely days filled with activity, and she enjoyed being a help to people.
She sat on a stool at the long counter. She loved the neon clock on the wall, and all the other neon signs scattered around the diner. It gave the place a classic feel. She inhaled the wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her she was hungry. This was a good idea, she reassured herself. She was feeling slightly better already.
“Coffee, honey?”
Dottie, the waitress, poured her a cup of steaming hot coffee after Holly nodded yes.
“What ya gonna have, Holly?” Dottie didn’t bother with a notepad or pencil. She had been waitressing for as long as Holly could remember. She was in her late forties and always remembered a customer’s name.
“Biscuits and gravy, Dottie.” Dottie nodded and went into the kitchen.
Holly heard the bell above the door as she reached for the creamer. She turned to the right and spotted Matt and Tony Smith coming in. They were still in uniform. Matt and Tony were deputies for the town of Red Hook, and both brothers were big, muscled men with a very intimidating look. Not many people tangled with them.
Holly groaned silently and focused on her coffee as if it were her lifeline. This was a rotten idea. It was not a good start to her week. Avoiding Matthew Smith in a town of this size was no easy task, especially when they had friends in common. She thought she had done a pretty good job of it so far, until today. Sometimes, their eyes met across a crowded room, and she would quickly avert her eyes and walk on. She had no desire to be his friend or be anywhere near him.
Last summer, he had broken her heart by dumping her. He had given her some “it’s me, not you” lame speech. She couldn’t even remember what she said back to him. She had high-tailed it out of there before she embarrassed herself by bursting into tears.
When their eyes had connected in the local bar last July, she had felt an instant connection. His strength hadn’t frightened her, but made her feel safe. She’d thought she saw real emotions in his eyes. She’d thought, This is it. I have met the man of my dreams.
She snorted silently. Yeah, right. All she got out of it was a bruised ego and broken heart.
They picked the stools next to her to sit on. She was tempted to ask Matt to scoot over, way over, maybe even to another restaurant or another town. She could smell his cologne and it reminded her of how much she still missed him, still dreamed and ached for him. She could feel heat radiating from his body. Being this close to him made it hard for her for her to act casual. Why was she so stuck on a man that didn’t
want her?
“Hey, handsome.” Jackie, one of the younger waitresses, flirted with Matt. She put her hand on his arm and caressed his muscles. “Catch any dangerous criminals? I bet you don’t even need a gun.”
“Not unless you count Mr. Miller arguing with his neighbor about the dog doing his business in his yard,” Matt answered the flirty waitress with amusement.
Holly refused to look toward Matt and see him flirting with the young brunette. She should have known he would never take any woman seriously. Holly considered herself quiet, shy, and average-looking. She lacked the self-confidence to be bold and flirty like Jackie. She didn’t wear revealing clothes or know any fun, sassy pick-up lines. Maybe that was what men wanted and what she lacked. She’d never had much luck with relationships.
Her appetite was completely gone now, and all the joy went out of her morning. She hoped this wasn’t a sign of how her Monday was going to go.
Dottie brought her the order. Holly picked up her fork and started to eat. She would eat fast and get out of here. Now that she knew Matt and his brother came here, she would avoid the place at all costs. Another place scratched off her list of places not to go. Soon, there would be no place left. Maybe she was the one who needed to relocate, but her family and her friends were here.
“Hello, Holly.”
She heard his voice, but it took her a minute to realize he was talking to her and not the flirty waitress. She turned toward him and looked into his green eyes. His short brown hair was hidden underneath a black baseball cap that read “police” in gold letters. His khaki uniform could not hide his huge, muscled arms or trim waist. She knew his thighs were just as thick and strong, too. She remembered every detail about him.
“Morning, Deputy Smith.” She hated how her stomach flip-flopped with excitement and her breasts felt heavy and sensitive. Although she had never had sex with him last summer, she still remembered how his big hands felt cupping her breasts underneath her shirt. She looked away as she felt her cheeks heat up. She looked down at her food, feeling awkward and not knowing what to say. Thank you for breaking my heart and making me miserable?
“Just going in to work?” he asked. She nodded yes without looking at him. She pushed her food around on the plate with her fork, not wanting to strike up a polite conversation with him. Maybe if she ignored him, he would leave her alone. Damn it, why hadn’t she chosen a booth to sit in? Would it be rude to carry her plate and drink over to an empty booth?
Dottie refilled her cup with fresh coffee and moved on to Matt and his brother. She heard Dottie making polite conversation with both of them, but only Matt answered. Tony was always serious and quiet.
Holly couldn’t eat another bite. She pushed her plate away, took some money out of her wallet and placed it next to her plate.
“Thanks, Dottie.” Holly waved to the waitress.
“See you tomorrow, honey.” Dottie waved from the table she was cleaning.
If Matt Smith will be here, I won’t.
* * * *
Matt sighed and thanked Dottie when she brought them their food. His mind was on the blonde leaving the diner as if the bats of hell were chasing her. He shouldn’t have spoken to her. Then maybe she would have lingered a little longer. She had smelled fresh, like wildflowers, and although she hadn’t looked at him for long, he did glimpse her blue eyes for a few seconds, minus the smile. She had looked so sad, and he was eaten with guilt.
He knew he hurt her last summer, but he’d honestly thought he was doing the best thing for her. She was filled with sweetness and he thought she needed a compassionate, gentle man in her life, two words that did not describe him. Surly and grumpy were better words to describe him. He had been accused of being antisocial on occasion, although he did make an effort.
He looked at her half-eaten food, and he felt bad that she’d left hungry. He knew being an ER nurse was hard work. He peeked at her walking by the huge picture window with her head down and her arms wrapped around her waist. It was such a lonely posture, and a sharp pain went through his heart. He wanted to follow her, but he knew it would do no good. She had made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him.
When he had spotted her small red Mustang, he had forced Tony to come and eat breakfast at Helena’s. Missing her was like a physical ache he had to live with. The blame lay on his shoulders, but it didn’t take away the achiness he had been feeling for the last nine months. She had an expressive face and he knew she really liked him, but his doubts had made him pull back and tell her he just wanted to be friends. She had refused that offer. Now he wanted her back, but she would not give him the time of day.
“You should just tell her you were an idiot and regret breaking up with her,” Tony said in a low voice. He picked up his fork and started eating. Matt wasn’t even hungry. He just wanted to catch a glimpse of her. He wanted to see her bright blue eyes, sweet smile and golden curls that invaded his dreams on a nightly basis. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget her. He ached to see her, but she avoided him at all costs. In a small town like Red Hook, that was hard, but she did it. If she saw him in the grocery store, she would turn and walk the other way. She couldn’t even stand to be in the same place as him. It made him feel like the kind of man who kicked puppies for fun. His gut was already in turmoil.
“Thanks for the kind words, bro,” Matt muttered. Tony shrugged and continued eating. Typical Tony behavior, Matt thought. His brother was a man of few words.
“I would tell her, you know, but she avoids me as if I have cooties or something,” Matt joked. Inside, he was hurting just as much as he imagined she was, only he was better at hiding it. He picked up his fork and dug into his eggs. He might as well eat before he went home to sleep. At least then he could dream of her and she would be laughing and smiling, not throwing icy daggers his way.
Chapter 2
The ER room was buzzing with activity for a Monday morning. Holly had already taken care of three patients in the last hour. All the doctors and nurses were running back and forth.
“My god, it feels like a Saturday night in here,” Nancy Hannon complained as she borrowed some bandages from Holly’s cabinet. Her brown hair was held back in a red headband. She wore the same green nurse’s uniform as Holly.
“Tell me about it,” Holly agreed, taking off her sweater. This morning she had been cold, but with all the moving around, she was hot. “I think it is finally slowing down.”
Holly looked at the clock on the wall. Lunch was still far away. “Can I take my break, Nancy? I’m hungry.”
She did not want to think of her encounter with Matt and why she had not finished her breakfast. If she let herself think of him for long, the sadness would overwhelm her.
“Sure,” Nancy answered. She was the head nurse on shift. “I have Gary and Katie here with me.”
Holly took her sweater and put it in her locker. The employee lounge was quiet. She was glad about that. She was not in the mood to make polite conversation right now. Her mind was still dwelling on her unfortunate encounter with Matt a few hours earlier. Months of not being in the same room with him and she had to run into him on this gloomy morning when she was already feeling blue.
She took out a cup of yogurt she kept in the fridge, then sat on the couch and put her feet up. Tonight she was supposed to have dinner with her older sister Faith. Faith had been more of mother to Holly then her own mother had been. Rebecca Davis had turned to drinking when her husband left her with two small children. Holly had no memories of her dad at all, and she was fine with that. She did not want to know him. She had no respect for a man who left his children and never contacted them again. Sometimes she wished her childhood memories could be brushed aside as easily.
Faith had been the one to cook and make sure Holly had clean clothes for school. Three years ago, Rebecca had confessed that she had gone into rehab and was sober. Now she was married to a supportive man who kept her on the straight and narrow path. Faith and Holly were both s
lowly rebuilding their relationship with Rebecca.
Holly was curious as to why Faith wanted her over for a family dinner. She hoped nothing was wrong. She had just taken Hope, her two-and-half-year-old niece, to the park on Saturday. Everything had been fine then.
Holly felt better after she was done with her snack. She checked to make sure her blonde hair was still pinned up and out of the way. With her curly hair, that was not an easy task. Her sister and mother both had straight reddish blonde hair. Holly always felt like she looked so different from them. She wondered what her dad had looked like, but she never brought the subject up around her mother. Rebecca had been very bitter and threw out anything associated with her ex-husband.
Holly never bothered with make-up, since she would just sweat it off. Besides, she had no interest in attracting men. They were nothing but a headache. She’d learned that the hard way, not just from Matt, but from previous boyfriends who told her she worked too much, or that she was too reserved and quiet.
She walked down the hallway and back to the ER room. As she got closer, she heard a bunch of commotion and she wondered what was going on. She hoped a rush of people had not come in while she was on break. She heard some yelling and stepped in the doorway, and immediately felt an arm go around her neck choking her. What the hell? She looked straight ahead and saw a pale-looking Nancy with Doctor Campbell standing next to her. She wanted to turn her head and see who was holding her, but it was impossible.
“Get away from me!” the man yelled, tightening his arm around her until he was choking her. Dr. Campbell put his hands out and stepped back, along with Nancy. Holly felt tears fill her eyes. What had she walked into? She felt something sharp and cold prick her neck. It was a knife. Great, what a wonderful Monday this is. First, I ran into Matt, and now I am being held at knifepoint. And it is not even noon.