by Dyan Chick
I laughed. "Yes, I think that would be appreciated by everybody here. Calder, can you help her find the things she needs in town?"
"I'd be happy to," he said.
"Well, since that's settled, let's move on to our favorite topic. What are our next steps for eliminating the king? I'm traveling to Gallia soon. With any luck, they'll offer use of their army. Will that be enough?"
"If Gallia gives you some of their army, we can win," Sir Henry said.
"I think we need to continue to build up our alliances. What if Gallia isn't enough?" Madame Lyndsey said. "We aren't strong enough yet. There are other sorcerers who are prepared to join us when the time comes, but I don't think we can overpower his army, alive or undead."
Master Flanders stood. "You need the support of your people more than anything else. While I can't deny that gaining the support of Gallia is vital, I have to remind you, if you don't have the people of Illaria, we can't do this."
Sir Henry stood across from Master Flanders and narrowed his eyes. "Battle strategy has never been your strong point, sorcerer. Do we need to revisit the Battle of the Dead?"
I wondered what had happened between the two men for them to mistrust each other so much. Turning my attention to Master Flanders, I tried to read his expression. He remained impassive as he looked at Sir Henry. "What is he talking about?"
Master Flanders looked at me. "It's a long story."
"You think you'd learn your lesson," Sir Henry said. "Your highness, with all due respect, do you think it wise to send unarmed, untrained citizens into battle against the king? Why risk further Illarian life? Haven't we lost enough. Do we need a repeat of Greenville? If we aren't careful, this will be just like the Battle of the Dead. Thousands dead. We need trained soldiers."
"The people can fight the king," Master Flanders said.
"Stop." I stood up and looked at both men. "Master Flanders, you know I value your counsel, but I can't ask the people of Illaria to sacrifice more than they already have. We need to convince Gallia we are worth supporting."
"Agreed," Sir Henry said.
Heads nodded around me. I took a deep breath. I'd never gone against a suggestion from Master Flanders, but it felt like the right thing to do. Making decisions was starting to feel more natural. Maybe I can do this on my own.
Both men sat back down.
"We need to discuss proposed strategy," Saffron said. "When you go to Gallia, they will ask for our plans."
"Do we know the date of Max's upcoming wedding?" Sir Henry asked.
"Just that it's going to be soon." I glanced over at Saffron, then turned away from her. "According to Max, the princess is pregnant. They won't want her to show before the wedding."
"I'd guess we have less than four weeks, then," Sir Henry said. "This isn't her first wedding and if this one is even half the party the last one was, nearly all of the king's loyal friends will be there and they will stay the night, too drunk to go home until the next day."
"That's when we need to strike. The morning after the wedding. We won't have much time." I turned to Master Flanders. "Can you send a White Raven to Gallia? Ask if we can move our meeting up. After what happened in Greenville, I don't want to involve any more innocents."
The meeting seemed to last for hours as we discussed our best plan of action. By the time we finished, I was feeling overwhelmed. I needed to do something to clear my mind. My first thought was to find Ashton. As the members of my council stood and prepared to leave, I walked over to the corner where I kept my bow. "I'll be at the archery range if anyone needs me."
"Etta, wait up!"
I turned to see Calder jogging after me. I stopped walking and waited for him to catch up. When he reached me, I started moving again.
"You doing okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine. We're going to meet with Gallia, they're going to help us, we are going to beat the king."
He set his hand on my arm, stopping my progress. "Not about that, Etta. How are you doing?"
Frozen in place, I stared at him. I didn't want to talk about Ashton. "I told you, I'm fine."
"You saw me after I lost my wife. I was in a dark place. You, this group, saved me. I know what you've been through for him. I can't imagine how you're feeling. We all need help sometimes," he said.
My heart sunk. Ashton had hurt me worse than I ever thought possible, and I didn't think I'd ever repair the hole I felt inside me. But he was alive, he hadn't been ripped from me. Calder would never see his wife again. At least I would see Ashton. I would know if he was safe. “I’m so sorry, Calder. What you went through was so much worse.”
"You died for him, Etta. I know how much he means to you. And I have a feeling he feels the same way. I still can't figure it out. It still doesn't make sense."
"He doesn't want to be with me," I said. "He's free to make his own choices."
"You don't really believe that, do you?" Calder asked.
I started walking again and he kept pace beside me. I hadn't told anybody what Ashton had said to me. I considered telling Saffron, but she'd known him longer than she'd known me. She was practically his sister and Ashton had brought her and Max up. How could I ever tell her that?
I gripped my bow tighter. "Ashton told me he was done with me because he didn't think I'd stay with him."
"How could he say that after everything you've been through?" he asked.
I bit down on the inside of my lip to keep the tears at bay. "Because it's what my father did and what Max did. He thinks I'll leave him for power."
Despite Master Flanders' reminder that I wasn't the same as Max, part of me still wondered if Ashton was right. I loved Ashton more than anything but hadn't my father and Max felt the same way about the women they left behind?
"That's not you," Calder said. "You aren't them. They made their choice. Life is about choices. You made yours. If you wanted power over Ashton, you would have let him die or you would have joined the king. You are taking the harder path, the right path. You're going to save all of Illaria."
My lower lip trembled. It was too much. I felt more confident about the tasks I needed to complete when I had Ashton and Celeste by my side. "I feel so alone. How can I do this, Calder?" My words caught in my throat as I fought the tears.
I took deep breaths, trying to steady myself. Arms encircled me as Calder pulled me in for a hug. His body pressed against mine was comforting and I relaxed into the hug, appreciating the human contact. "I'm sorry."
He let go of me and held me at arm's length. "Don't be. What you are doing is hard. Even for somebody older who was trained since birth. You're young, you were thrown into this. You are allowed to break down every so often. Just do it when you're alone or with people you trust. I'm sure even your father had his moments. You can do this. And you're not alone. After what I saw you do to save Ashton, I will follow you anywhere."
Calder had been wild, overwhelmed with the idea of revenge when we first met. He'd helped me save Ashton and stayed on to help us take down the king. Over the last few weeks, he'd even seemed almost happy. If he could recover from what he'd been through, I could, too. I placed my hands on top of his. "Thank you."
He smiled and dropped his hands. "Now, I heard a rumor that you're one of the best archers in the kingdom and I've never shot a bow. Feel like giving me a lesson?"
I picked my bow up. "I think that can be arranged."
18
Etta
My fingers were numb with cold but I didn't want to stop shooting. While I went through the repetitive motions of loading up my bow and releasing arrows, I didn't have to think about anything else. It was an even better distraction than usual because I was explaining my process to Calder or taking breaks to watch him line up his shots.
I laughed as another of his arrows failed to reach the target. "I really have never seen anybody as bad at archery as you are. Good thing you have other skills."
He propped his bow against his legs and rubbed his hands together. "I'm going
to blame the cold. I think we'll have snow any day now."
I looked up at the gray clouds hiding the sun. Fall was giving way to winter. My thoughts traveled to Ashton and Celeste as they made their way to the mountains. My chest tightened. Was I ever going to stop thinking of him so much? How much time would need to pass before my mind didn't wander to him?
Calder reached out and cupped his hands over mine. "Your hands are freezing. We should go in."
We walked silently back to my quarters. Calder pulled open the flap of my tent but remained outside.
Stepping inside, I turned back to face him. "Thanks for listening, Calder."
"Any time." He smiled, then turned to walk away.
The tent flap fell, leaving me alone. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the chair that Ashton used to sit in. Someone had moved it back inside my tent. Suddenly, I felt very tired. I collapsed into the nearest chair and couldn't take my eyes off of Ashton's empty chair. What's he doing right now? Is he safe? Does he miss me? Is he even thinking about me?
I rubbed my eyes and swallowed a few times to try to clear out the lump that had risen in my throat. I needed to find a way to get over this. Calder didn't seem to think Ashton had meant what he said, but I couldn't sit here holding on to the hope that Ashton still cared. Dwelling on the past wasn't going to help me in Gallia. I needed to be strong on my own if I was going to defeat the king and Max. My hands clenched into fists in my lap as I thought of my brother. How could he do this to us?
His hunger for power was so clear, even when I first joined the Ravens. In my confused state of trying to figure out who I was, I missed all of the signs. If I had been more observant, if I had paid attention to the details, maybe I would have had some warning. I covered my face with my hands and my heart sunk. Ashton was a distraction. I was so wrapped up in the emotions and excitement of our relationship that I missed things.
I stood so quickly that the chair I had been sitting in toppled to the ground. I didn't pause to pick it up. Instead, I marched over to Ashton's chair and picked it up. The chair was heavier than it looked and I grunted with each step as I carried it toward the entrance of my tent. Chair first, I pushed through the tent flap and dropped it once I was outside.
An older man who had been with the White Ravens longer than me was walking by as I struggled with the chair. He jogged forward and took it from my hands. "Let me help you, your highness."
I let out a breath as he took the burden from my arms. "Thank you."
He smiled and held the chair easily in his arms. "What would you like me to do with it?"
I waved a hand in front of my face. "I don't really care. I just need it out of my tent. I don't have space for it any longer."
He lifted the chair higher and looked at it before lowering it again. "It's a nice chair. Do you mind if I take it back to the men's quarters?"
"Not at all. I'd like to see it go to good use." Firewood might be a better use. I winced at my own thoughts then quickly fixed a smile on my face. "Thank you."
"Any time, your highness." He walked away.
My stomach twisted as I watched the chair make its way towards the men's quarters. It was the only thing in my room that reminded me of Ashton. Regretting the decision, I almost chased after him. Instead, I found my way to Ashton's tent. Taking a deep breath, I pushed through the flap.
Over the last few weeks, I'd spent a lot of time in here with Ashton. Sometimes he'd show me simple spells I could try, or we'd play cards. Celeste and Calder sometimes joined us and the four of us would stay up late into the night talking and laughing.
Then there were the private moments with just the two of us. They were rarer than I would have liked. The tent still smelled like him. My fists clenched and unclenched as I stared at the nearly empty space. How could you do this to me? After everything we'd been through, hadn't I proven myself to him?
Overcome by rage, I kicked the bedroll, sending it up against the side of the tent in a pile. "Why did you leave me? Why did you make me love you? I hate you!" My voice sounded like it was coming from somebody else as I shouted at nothing.
My chest rose and fell quickly as I caught my breath. I rubbed my forehead and my shoulders sunk. Why are you letting this get to you? My cheeks burned with embarrassment and all of my senses piqued. Had anybody seen me go in here? Had they heard my outburst? I turned away from the bedroll. How could you be so stupid? I shook my head. To think of the things I almost gave up for him. I risked too much by being with him. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and focused on calming myself.
The throne. That was what mattered. Defeating the king. Eliminating Max. Ashton was a distraction that had kept me from reaching my full potential. The ice inside me started at my fingers and ran its way through my arms to my chest. I imagined it filling my chest and forming a barrier around my heart. Nobody else gets in here. Any relationship I had would be for the benefit of my kingdom and my people.
Lifting my chin, I left Ashton's tent without looking back. There were more important things to do than to dwell on a girlish fantasy. It was time to find an army. All of my energy needed to be focused on Gallia and getting them to support us.
Anticipation mixed with fear and I swallowed back my nerves as I pulled out clothes for the journey. You can do this. I thought back to Lady Genevieve's lessons and knew I'd only get one chance at a first impression. Only this time, I didn't need people to believe that I was a princess, they needed to believe that I was a queen.
Master Flanders took my hand as we prepared to leave for Campari, from there, we would take a ship to Gallia. Teleporting across the sea without a teleportation coin or a magic object like the Oracle's key was dangerous. But our ability to teleport to Campari would cut down on the length of the journey.
Was I ready for this? I laughed to myself. Had I been ready for anything that I'd been through in the last few months? Was I ready to be a princess? A queen? A leader? A sorceress? How hard could it be to meet the uncle I'd never met and convince him to let me borrow his army? My stomach twisted into knots. He might be my uncle, but he was the King of Gallia. A kingdom that prided itself on its neutrality. They'd never taken sides in a war before but it was vital to our cause that I convince him. Somehow, I had to act like the queen I was claiming to be. I had to do this.
Master Flanders eyed me with a tilted grin but didn't comment on my nervous laughter. "You ready?"
I took a deep breath and nodded. Here goes nothing.
Smoke began to circle my ankles. In a burst of energy, my breath left my lungs and I squeezed my eyes shut. As the nausea crept in, my feet touched on solid ground. Opening one eye at a time, I watched the smoke dissipating from around us.
We arrived at the dockyard in Campari, bypassing the city gates. Last time I had been here, we'd struggled to secure passage to the Sacred Island so I could visit the Oracle. This time, we'd used our resources and contacts to gain us a place on a supply ship taking goods to Gallia.
I wore trousers and a tunic and had my hair tucked up inside a hat. My best dress was packed into a bag slung over my shoulders. The clothing choices were more for comfort than to hide who I was since the owner of the ship knew who he was transporting.
Master Flanders and I cut through the crowds. The sound of seagulls and sailors shouting filled the air and I breathed in the smell of the sea. Just a few weeks ago, I'd only seen the sea once in my life. Now, I was about to board a ship for the second time.
Our crossing to Gallia would take several days and I hoped my stomach wouldn't be as unhappy with the journey as it had last time I'd sailed. The crowd thinned as we neared the end of the docks.
"There it is." Master Flanders lifted his chin toward a large ship in front of us. On the side of the ship the word Destiny was painted in blue lettering. It was an appropriate name for a ship considering the weight of this trip. If I succeeded, I could reclaim my throne, my birthright. If I failed, there was no way we would be able to defeat the king. Either way,
this trip would seal my fate, it will determine which path my destiny would take.
19
Etta
As our ship arrived in Gallia, I was greeted by the sight of a bustling city. A carriage awaited our arrival, a coat of arms carefully painted on the door. Disembarking, we walked toward the royal carriage. As we approached, the footman climbed down and greeted us with a bow. I was thankful I'd decided to change into the dress when we were near land.
"Your highness." The footman stood then lowered his head as he greeted Master Flanders. "Master. We are honored to have you in Gallia."
He reached for my bag and gestured with his arm toward the carriage. "If you will."
We followed him and settled inside the comfortable space. As the door closed behind us, I took in the sights of the luxury I was surrounded by. Every surface was covered with a shiny, blue fabric. Gold embroidery covered the walls in an elegant pattern of crowns and wings. I traced my fingers over the surface.
During our boat ride, I'd been treated kindly and the members of the crew fought over who got to entertain me or bring me meals. Now, we were being greeted like royalty and being taken to the castle as honored guests. I hoped this was a sign of things to come.
The castle was a short ride away and neither Master Flanders or I spoke as we watched the Gallic countryside flash by the windows. We rode past lush, rolling green hills and the sea was nearly always in view in the background. Gallia was beautiful.
The carriage rolled to a stop in front of a large wrought iron gate. Guards in matching blue uniforms stood at the entrance, tense and ready. One of them peeked through the bars, then waved us through. The gates parted and the carriage moved again. My body tensed as we rode through. "What if I can't do this?"
Master Flanders smiled. "You can. Your uncle is a kind man and he will see that helping you will benefit Gallia as well."
He has to. I nodded at Master Flanders. It was my job to show him how important this was to Illaria and prove to him that it was worth it for him, too. You can do this.