by Dyan Chick
"There." Saffron stood. "You should be warmer now." She handed me the blanket. "Wrap this around you so you can keep your clothes dry."
I stood and threw the blanket over my shoulders. "Thank you."
"Ready to go?" she asked. "Madame Lyndsey can take us to everybody else. Is there anything you need to bring?"
I looked around the tent. Another abandoned home. Would I ever get to stay in one place? I reached for my pendant and squeezed it in my hand. At least this stays with me wherever I go.
"I just need my bow," I said.
Saffron lifted her hand, she already had it. Yancey must have given it to her.
"Thank you." I took the bow from her. Holding it made it easier to walk away from the place I'd called home for the last few months. My fingers brushed against the carved wood of the bow. It helped me to focus on the things that mattered. My friends, my people, my throne. "After you," I said, sweeping my arm toward the front of the tent.
Saffron nodded once and opened the flap, walking out into the blowing snow. I followed her. While I had been inside, my entire guard has assembled in front of the tent. Doing a quick count, I noticed that all of them had survived the battle. That's a good sign.
Charles stepped up to me and dropped into a low bow. "Your highness, forgive me for letting you down. I should have been able to stay with you. I understand if you'd like to name a new captain."
"Please rise, Charles," I said. "You stay as my captain, but you might have to get used to losing me. I'm hard to keep up with."
He smiled. "I'll be ready next time."
"I know you will," I said.
My guard shifted, making a hole for me to walk through. Behind them, Ashton and Celeste stood with Madame Lyndsey. The two of them looked terrible. Their clothes were torn and burned in places. Their faces were smeared with blood and soot. Celeste's long hair was knotted and blew wildly in the wind.
At the sight of them, tears welled up and my knees buckled. Charles steadied me and Ashton reached for me, but then pulled his hand back. Words escaped my mind. I didn't know what to say or how to react. They were here, they were alive.
Celeste smiled, tears in her eyes. She ran between my guards and caught me in an embrace. I squeezed her back and we both started laughing.
"Am I happy to see you," Celeste said.
"I'm so glad you're safe," I said.
Celeste pulled back and clasped my hand. We stood there, hand in hand, for several long seconds before she dropped my hand and gave me a little push toward Ashton.
He stepped forward and for a moment, we just stared at each other. I had missed him the whole time he was gone but the things he said seemed to echo through my mind. Part of me wanted to move closer to him, to feel his arms around me, but part of me was afraid of being hurt again. I'd let him in, trusted him. More than I'd ever trusted anyone in my whole life. And he broke you. He broke that trust.
I could feel the Darkness wrapping itself around my heart, tugging at it, protecting it. You can't let anyone in. You'll just get hurt again.
"Etta." Ashton's brow was furrowed, eyes pleading. "I'm so sorry. I never should have said those things."
The Darkness squeezed, and my breath caught. Don't believe him. How can you trust him? I knew I shouldn't be letting it in, I shouldn't be listening, but what was so wrong about protecting my heart?
"Can you ever forgive me?" Ashton's eyes were still locked on me. He didn't move closer. It was as if he could sense my internal struggle.
This was Ashton. My closest friend. The one person in the world who knew everything about me. Not everything. I furrowed my brow at the thought. He didn't know that the Darkness was speaking to me, trying to pull me in, doing its best to control me. Maybe he's not the monster here, you are.
Every time the Darkness called to me, I felt like I was losing part of myself. It's his fault, you know. If I hadn't gone to the Underworld to save Ashton, I wouldn't have opened the bridge to allow the Darkness in. I wouldn't be channeling it the way I am now. He never asked me to do that. I took a deep breath and imagined the dark tendrils that had closed around my heart, releasing. Today wasn't the day I was going to let the Darkness win. "We have all done things we regret."
His face brightened. "Could you ever give me another chance?"
The group around us shuffled and I could feel the tension raise around me. Everyone was watching. I kept my gaze on Ashton, not wanting to know what those around me were thinking. Something between us had shifted. Things had changed. Until I could control the Darkness, I was a risk. It was too much. For now, I needed to figure out who I was and focus on saving my kingdom. "I can't think about that right now."
Ashton stepped back away from me and I had to tighten my jaw to keep it from trembling. He looked like I kicked him in the gut. Now he knows how you felt. Ignoring the dark thought, I steeled myself. This was the right thing to do. "The important thing right now is to move up the attack on the king and finish what we started."
My heart raced in my chest, as if begging me to change my mind, but I knew this needed to be done. Unable to look at him anymore, I turned to Celeste. "What happened with the stone? I'll need to know what to tell my uncle."
Celeste held out two pieces of gray rock in her hands. "This is all that's left of it."
My heart leapt at the sight of the broken stone and I reached to touch the pieces. "You destroyed it." I looked at Celeste and Ashton, finally feeling a rise of hope. "Does that mean the Reapers are gone?"
"I think so," Celeste said. "The sorcerer who made the stone was guarding it. Ashton destroyed him and the stone."
Hands reached out to touch the remains of the Stone of Morare. I could feel the energy shifting in the group. My guards, Madame Lyndsey, Saffron, Celeste, and Ashton closed in around me. All of them had risked so much already and we hadn’t even gone after the king yet. Master Flanders missing from the group left a hole inside me. There was no way I was going to lose anyone else. These people were my whole life. They deserved to be free of the fear of the king. They deserved to be happy. It was time to act. "I have to go to Gallia and see if we can move up the battle. We can't let this attack stop us. It's time to rid Illaria of evil once and for all."
"He might have the Skystone, but he's lost his Reapers. There's no way he'll expect us to attack so soon. We'll catch him by surprise," Saffron said. "I say, we do it."
"Etta, there's something you should know." Ashton took a step toward me. "The king attacked because he was after Master Flanders. He found out that he was the sorcerer who cast the protection spell on you. There is nothing stopping the king from harming you."
I swallowed back the lump that rose in my throat at the thought of Master Flanders. There would be time to mourn the dead later. "Then it's even more important now that we don't fail."
"You need to go now," Saffron said. "We can take care of the Ravens. We can be there, hiding in the woods before sunrise after the wedding. Go. Get us an army."
"I'm coming with you," Celeste said. She leaned down to pick up something set on the ground. I recognized the orb that we had wrapped in fabric. She must have retrieved it from my room before I arrived.
I glanced at Ashton, half expecting him to say something. He remained quiet. I wanted to say something to him. He'd left without a goodbye and this was the last time we'd see each other before we would be fighting the king. Looking at him made me feel broken. There was still a part of me that felt a pull to him, but I knew it wasn’t the time. I couldn’t be trusted with my own emotions until I took control of the Darkness inside me.
Turning to Celeste, I nodded. "Alright, you come with me."
I gave Saffron a quick hug. "See you on the battlefield."
A hand caught hold of my upper arm and I turned to see Ashton, pulling me closer to him. We moved a few steps away from the group, who turned their backs on us at Saffron's urging.
"Be careful," Ashton said.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. "You too.
"
"I'm sorry," he said.
All I could do was nod.
He broke his gaze away from mine. "You better get going."
Without another word, I gripped my bow and walked away. Celeste and my guards followed me back to the portal. It was time to end the king.
38
Etta
I marched through the marble portal room in my uncle's castle. Without waiting for a formal greeting, my guards, Celeste and I made our way through the doors into the window lined hallway.
As soon as we opened the doors, we found ourselves face to face with a row of guards. At the sight of us, they hesitated. Charles stepped forward. "Make way for her highness, Queen Elisabetta of Illaria."
The guards stepped back, lowering their weapons and bowed their heads. I was sure I didn't look the part of a queen today, but did my best to keep my chin high as we walked through the guards.
"This way to the study?" I pointed down the hall.
Charles was next to me, matching my pace step for step. "Yes."
About halfway down the hall, I saw a group of people walking toward us. My uncle Gaius was at the center of the group.
He stopped in front of our group. "What happened?"
"The king attacked us at our camp." I paused, torn between giving him all the details or just telling him the news. Master Flanders had died to see me on the throne. He wouldn't want me to dwell on the past. When this was over, we'd mourn the dead. "The king has moved the wedding and he won't except us to come to him after what he did. We have to move up the attack."
"When is it?" he asked.
"Tomorrow."
He turned to one of his sorcerers, "Master Acel, let the others know we need to get the portal ready."
Master Acel nodded and headed away from the group.
"Come." He offered his arm to me and we started walking again. "Let's go meet with my generals."
"I'm sorry we weren't able to give you more warning," I said.
"The fact that this was moved up and the attack on the Raven camp tells me that the king is nervous. He probably thinks you're going to do something and figures you won't be ready. This might give us an edge."
My stomach was in knots and I tried to find something positive about this situation.
Gaius glanced over at me. He seemed to know how I was feeling. He put an arm around my shoulders. "Don't worry. You could be back on your throne by tomorrow night if all goes to plan."
My breath caught in my chest. Was I ready for that? Since deciding to fight for my throne, it had seemed so far away. Now that it was within my reach, it seemed so foreign. How was I going to fix this kingdom?
Gaius led me down the twists and turns of the hallways until we reached an area of the castle I hadn't been in before. A series of doors lined the hallway.
"This is where my guards and generals stay," he explained. We continued down the hallway to a large room. The walls were lined with maps and in the center of the room stood a large table. No chairs surrounded the table but a semicircle of chairs surrounded a small fireplace in one corner. Three men were standing around the table. They stood at attention and bowed as we entered the room.
Gaius put his hand up to stop them. "No time for formality now. The plans have to be moved up."
"How much?" a tall man with dark hair and a thick beard asked.
Gaius took a breath. "The wedding is happening tomorrow."
The man nodded. "We're ready." He looked at me. "Your highness, we are ready to fight for you."
"Thank you." I had to swallow back the lump that rose in my throat. Everything was coming together. These men were going to stand up to defend my throne on my behalf.
"We heard about what happened in Greenville. Nobody should be attacking unarmed civilians, ever." His face darkened and his hands drew up into fists. I knew his anger well, and I'm glad he shared it with me.
Gaius turned to me. "Any word on the search for the stone?"
"Yes." I gestured to Celeste. "This is my friend, Celeste, she was on the journey with Ashton. They were able to destroy the stone."
Gaius stretched his hand out to Celeste. "Many thanks, to you. You are a hero and your bravery will help make this attack more successful."
Celeste shook his hand. "Thank you, your highness. There is one thing you all should know." She looked over at me. "We had a run-in with Max. He has a dragon and seems to be planning to betray the king."
The good feelings that had come with recalling the destruction of the Stone of Morare went out like a candle being snuffed. I had worried about Max or the king being the ones with ties to the dragon. What did that mean for our plan?
The men around me grew quiet. Gaius broke the silence. "That could work to our advantage. If Max is fighting against the king, it will be easier to take the king down."
"We don't know if he'll be openly opposing him yet," Celeste said.
"We'll find out when we get there. If he keeps playing the king's pet, I'd guess the dragon won't be there. That's all he has to compete against the king. He wouldn't want him to know about it," I said.
The general nodded. "We'll have to figure that out when we get there. Either way, it can play to our advantage. If Max isn't fighting against the king, we go about everything as planned. If a dragon is helping to attack the king, we'll let it. Once the king is gone, we'll turn our attention to Max."
I nodded. It was as good of a plan as any. "Do you think we can really take down the king?"
"We've got 10,000 men and 45 sorcerers who hate the impostor on the throne as much as you do," the general said. "He won't stand a chance."
"I hope so," I said. "I don't know how much help we'll have from the Ravens, but they will be waiting in the king's woods before sunrise."
The general narrowed his eyes at me. "You sure you should be fighting in this battle? I've never heard of a queen who does her own fighting."
"Except for her mother," Gaius cut in.
The general straightened, eyes wide. Then, he lowered his head. "I'm sorry, your grace, I didn't mean any insult."
"I know," Gaius said. "Etta is her mother's daughter, and I'm sure the sorcerers will benefit from having her in their ranks."
"Your highness." Charles turned to me. He hadn't left my side since leaving the Raven camp. "You should know that being in a battle of this scale will be unlike anything you have experienced before. There will be loss of life on both sides. You won't be able to stop when you see somebody fall. There are going to be people you can't save. You have to stay focused on keeping yourself alive."
My stomach knotted and I dug my fingernails into my palms. I wasn't a stranger to death or losing those I loved. As much as I hated to recall the terrible things I'd done, I'd killed. These things weren't new to me, but this was still going to be different from anything we had experienced so far.
We'd been in battles, but it was with less than a hundred men. We didn't have an army so we could rely on moving quickly, hiding, and having the advantage of the land. That wasn't going to work here. It didn't even matter if I was ready for this. It was happening. It had to happen. We had to win. If we didn't we were all dead.
The Darkness seemed to vibrate inside me, it welcomed the battle, it wanted it. I wasn't in the mood to hear the dark thoughts that found their way inside my head and closed my eyes for a moment, preparing to send it away at the first sign of betrayal into my mind.
"Your highness?"
Opening my eyes, I looked at Charles and the rest of my guard. "Don't worry. We'll be ready."
Gaius turned to me. "You will be. But tonight, you need to recover. Tomorrow, I'll introduce you to all of my sorcerers and you can prepare for the attack on the king."
As we walked back through the hallways, I tried to fight off the nauseous feeling rising inside me. I knew we had real chance at beating the king, but something didn't feel right. Perhaps it was pre-battle nerves or maybe it was the fact that all I wanted to do was ask Master Flanders for advice, an
d for the first time since I started training as a sorcerer, I couldn't.
"You can stay in the same rooms you were in during your visit, Etta. Celeste can stay in one of our guest rooms." He paused in front of the door.
"That's not necessary," I said. "There is more than enough room for us to share this room."
"Of course," he said. "I'll send some ladies to help you get cleaned up and some food. I'm sure you'll want to rest before tomorrow."
"Thank you." The last thing on my mind right now was getting cleaned up but I was a guest here and didn't want to be rude.
Gaius opened the door for us, pausing with his hand on the handle. "What you are about to do is a great risk."
"I know," I said.
"I want you to know, that if the worst should happen, you're always welcome here."
I nodded, hoping that I wouldn't end up spending the rest of my life as a refugee living in my uncle's castle. While there were worse things that could happen, spending my life knowing I'd failed my people while I returned to a life of privilege didn't seem like a viable option. No, I wouldn't be coming back here unless I was victorious.
39
Etta
Somehow, despite the questions in my head, I slept. When I woke, Celeste was still asleep in the bed next to me. She'd thrown off all the covers and managed to turn almost sideways while she slept. If the bed weren't so large, she'd have knocked me off. I couldn't help but smile.
Walking over to the windows, I threw open the curtains, flooding the room with sunlight. Celeste grunted and turned over, covering her head with a pillow. I wished I was as sound a sleeper as she was.
A gentle knock sounded on the door and I padded across the floor in my bare feet to answer. When I opened the door, my guards stepped aside and I found my cousin, Mari, smiling at me. "Father caught me up on everything." Her face fell. "Are you alright?"
I stepped back and moved away from the doorway so she could enter. "I'm fine. Just ready to have this over with." My stomach was a tangle of nerves as I considered what I was saying. I was ready to be done fighting, done hiding, done feeling afraid all the time. What I wasn't sure about was if I could do it.