- The transplant queues are too long - Katty says. She can barely hide the sadness in his heart.
- Are you saying that my son is going to die? - Penelope up, exalted - It will not happen. You can not say that!
She embraces, and I need to find the strength within me for both of us. Wrap it with my body. His crying wetting my shirt, and my tears moistening her hair.
- Katty? - I call for it.
It is more than a desperate question for answers; It is a cry for help.
- There is an alternative - it starts, and we are fully focused on what she has to say - we do a intravivos transplant, the donor still alive. Parents are the best suited to this. In your case, Penelope, it is not possible to be pregnant and ...
- I'll do! - I tell her - I'll do the transplant.
Katty smiles to hold my hand. Penelope throws herself into my arms. And all I can think is that there is no doubt.
- It is not that simple - it starts with the quiet voice - Even though the father need to do compatibility tests and whether there is any disease that prevents this, such as hepatitis, for example.
- Do all the tests you need. I'm ready for anything. Just save our little.
I would do anything for that baby. If I had to give my heart, so I would.
We listen carefully about the risks pre and postoperative, both for Benjamin, and for the donor. What are the chances of the procedure is successful, and as before the surgery happened, the better their chances for the body to adapt it to the new body.
Our friends came so heard the news. My parents and Liam passed all the information, as I focused on Penelope and any news that might arise.
We spent the night in the hospital with Ben. Sometimes during the night, I could cause her to pull away from the bed to get some rest. I suspect it has only achieved because of the baby in her womb. Often seen divided between the two.
- Take at least the juice, Penelope.
I take the glass on the tray and place in her hand.
- I'm not hungry - the voice is shaky, and the sharp pang in my chest intensified.
I had done all the tests, and now only had to wait. And yet, I never felt so helpless in my life. How to watch the two people you love most in the world suffer?
- You need to eat something, please.
- You know what I thought now? - She speaks when crying, while sliding the glass in his hands - I would choose the wedding dress today. - She looks at me, looking lost - What kind of mother I am, Adam? What matters to me the mess of a dress? When my son, he's mor ...
His voice dies in the midst of despair that this reality causes us.
- Do not do it - I embrace - Do not think so.
I just blocked out the possibility that we could lose Ben. Because it was the only way I found to stand, numbing the pain, crushing my chest without the slightest pity.
- It'll be all right - kissing her hair - It'll be fine. We still have a beautiful wedding.
I look at the little sleeping peacefully in bed. The wires attached to his wrist and nose made him look so frail and helpless.
So I understand what she meant. That's not fair. We were happy, we have another baby coming. Life can not punish us this way.
I can not even imagine going through that again. This time, the pain does not compare. That baby I had not known. I had not held in my arms. I did not see your face or your smile. I never knew the smell he had, or how it was to have warm snug in my chest.
- I want to have faith - the delicate body is the only thing to warm my cold body - but it hurts so much. I'm so afraid, Adam.
- Remember when I said I would give my life for you? - Lulling her, as he did with Benjamin at night for him to sleep - So just hold tight. I take care of the rest.
A knock on the door made me turn around. Liam is the first to come up with Neil, Richard, Peter. Behind them, Austin, Dallas, Clyde and a man much like them, which I believe to be their father.
- I think we better talk outside - Liam points to the bed where Benjamin is.
- I'll stay here - Penelope says, going toward the bed.
- It is going to be alright?
She shakes her head, saying yes. But we just would be really good with our son at home.
- Adam, I know it's been difficult - safe Liam my face, so close the door behind me - but we're all with you. We all did the exam. I know you really want to do the surgery, but if not possible, Benjamin will have other chances.
All my strength, each energy stored it to keep me firm, collapsed as soon as I heard his statement. Not only my friends and family supporting me at a critical time in my life. Literally, they were putting their lives at risk to save my son.
My legs lose their strength, and their figures are just a blur before my eyes.
- I also did the exam.
It was necessary that I had dried my eyes and looked intently forward, to make sure that voice was even James Walker, the father of Penelope.
- Mr. Walker?
Even seeing it perfectly before me, it's almost impossible to believe that he's even here, as will, if necessary, be the donor for her grandson.
- You can call me James, son.
No matter how angry I've ever felt it. How many times I cursed by every tear caused to his daughter. When I felt his arms around me, my only reaction was to hug him back.
Maybe that's the sign we needed, that no matter how the world around us is sad and black, there is always a light and hope.
The reunion between father and daughter was as exciting as I thought. There was also no charges and no hard feelings. Our only concern is with Benjamin. The past and all the accumulated wounds, for so long, no longer have significance.
- I came as soon as Julienne warned, daughter, but I want you to know that we were taking care of everything to come to your wedding - it sounds like you're disappointed with himself - We wanted to stay a few days in the city. Staying with our grandson, if you leave. And your mother will come tomorrow.
Looking closely at it now, I can notice not only changes behavior, but physical as well. James is much skinnier than when I met him, and looks older and tired too. I do not know if it was the video I sent that convinced him to attend the wedding, but I'm pretty sure that sooner or later he would have wanted us.
The changed that distant behavior. Maybe it's the lack of it, finally they were able to admit.
- No matter when would - Penelope involves my waist, and for the first time in hours, see her smile - The important thing is you're here. By the way, all of you. Thank you for what they do for our child.
I see that, in fact, we are fortunate. We are surrounded by all types of love. Love between parents and children. Love between friends. Love between a man and a woman.
Simply love. Nothing in the world can be more powerful than that.
Chapter 51
Penelope
Life can be very cruel sometimes, putting and taking the happiness of our hands like an elastic invisible, waiting for the right moment to burst.
But one thing that life can not take from you, or even change, is love. Today I had a lot of evidence of how love is powerful. Our friends have the greatest test of all: put their own lives at risk so that Ben had a chance to survive.
Love brought my parents back. And, honestly, nothing in our past is important now. I can go through life regretting the little emotional relationship we had, judging them, blaming them, or can I just move on and try to build a different story.
And that's what I decided to do, even before Adam and I enter the doctor's office.
- We have the results of their examinations, Mr. Crighton - the blond doctor and young, only now I give due attention, put a folder on the table in front of us.
He comes around the table and takes his seat. The face is impassive, I confess that makes me very nervous. Katty wanted to be here; it makes me calmer.
- Do you support, and there is nothing to stop you to perform the transplant - he now says with a half smile to see the pristi
ne folder.
We were too nervous to try to decipher medical terms that contain certainly there.
- This means that I can be the donor for my son? - The emotion in his voice equates to my - I can save his life? Benjamin will live?
- Understand, Mr. Crighton - he speaks with Adam, but look at me - Every surgery is a risk. But do the transplant is not an option for the baby. We will endeavor to be a success, a little more faith and, yes, your baby will be fine.
And is that little glimmer of hope and happiness that I see the stretch of undulating life. On the one hand, is the only chance that Benjamin has; the other, I could lose one or both. Any of these possibilities would make me crazy.
- Look at me - he holds my face. I can hardly see it behind the curtain tears in my eyes - All is well occur. We'll be fine, and we will soon take our little boy home. Believe me.
Believe and have faith is all I have now. Surely, I put myself in his place if there were no risks with this new life inside me.
- I believe - set me in your arms and squeeze it strong. Adam is the only one capable of providing all the strength I need - I know it will get.
I think about how I would be if this had happened to me on the farm. Without it with me, hugging me as now. I could not stand it.
- I love you - Aliso his face, wiping my hands aching traces that were there - I love you. I love you so much. Let's get. We will bring our boy home, my love.
And when we kiss, it's just our souls consoling the other. I have an inexplicable certainty that all will be well. At that moment, I feel at peace.
- We can schedule the surgery for tomorrow - the doctor tells you when we turn our attention to him - Benjamin is now stable, and the sooner we do the procedure, the greater the chances of a good recovery.
He tells us how long will the surgery. Talks about the medical staff during the process and the risks during and after transplantation. A little calmer and confident you'll be fine, we returned to communicate to all, that almost made party in the hallway at the news.
Liam and Katty care of all the necessary documentation. Julienne provided everything we needed before surgery, such as clothing and hygiene objects. We always had someone taking care of us while we were next to Ben. Desgrudamos not a single moment of our little prince until the last minute for surgery.
- Promise you'll be fine - Adam kisses my hand - will eat, rest and take care of this little.
We are in front of the door that leads to the operating room; after it, I'll have to stand outside waiting. Benjamin has already been taken, and it was part of my heart. The other part is going with Adam.
- You think it's a girl? - I ask smiling.
I want my smile is with him all the time.
- To balance things.
Ergo his hand and deposit some kissing the palm. I tried not to cry. I need him to see me strong.
- I love you - whisper to him - back to me, okay?
- Ever. I love you, my Charmosa.
Hug myself when the lead away from me.
- Children are so strong, Penelope - Jenny approaches me and holds my hands, conveying confidence - Everything will be alright. Here there is a chapel. Let us pray together?
- Yes.
Of all present, I think she's the one who really understands what is in my heart. Not long ago tore her twins of his arms. She knows the pain of losing a child as I do.
And to bend my knees in front of the small altar, I have no bitterness and questioning God. I believe that everything has a reason in life, even if sometimes we can not understand. I gave life to Ben, bringing it to the world. Adam is now responsible for our boy still among us. Our son will be reborn through it.
****
Every hour, some nurse was bringing some news about the surgery. Every time the information was positive and reassuring. Everything was going well. Katty was the first to return the surgical sector, just over ten hours after Adam and Ben were sent to perform the transplant. The big smile on his face is the answer I needed to finally be at peace.
- Surgery is over - she embraces me - The transplant was successful and both are well.
After agonizing hours, walking the halls, watching people come and leave, talk to me, giving me comfort. Anyway, I can say that my weeping now is relief and happiness.
- Thank you, Katty.
I know that even though medical, have been so many hours watching a surgery must have been tiring for her.
- Our boy will return home, which is his place - Julienne hold me when Katty me loose.
We had won another battle.
- When can I see them, Katty?
- The two will advance to the postoperative period. You can see them in an hour or so, but quickly. I suggest that after that go home ...
It touches my shoulder when you see I'm about to protest.
- There's nothing to do here, Penelope. They sleep until tomorrow due to drugs. In other circumstances, I would not oppose me to stay - Katty touches my belly - Has anyone else here who also requires care. The following days will be long and exhaustive.
- She's right, daughter - my father stands beside me, holding my arm.
Apparently, everyone will force me to what is right. Even my conscience, though my heart wants to say that I stay.
Moreover, for sure that's what Adam expect me to do: take care of our baby in my womb.
- Then I go home after seeing them - tell Katty - You let me know if something happens?
- Of course, you can go quiet. My mother asked to be there ...
- It will not be necessary, ma'am - Dad prevents continuing - We'll take care of our daughter.
My father being protective and caring. Actually things are changing.
- Anyway, thank Lindsay for me.
To refer me to go to the room to see Benjamin and Adam, I see my father on the phone. I believe you are talking to my mother. I saw quickly that morning before starting surgery. I and my parents have not had that conversation. While my father visibly makes every effort to get closer to me, my mother is more afraid. We would have time to work it.
The first thing I see is my little angel attached to oxygen, blood bag and the serum which receives the medication.
All I wanted was to be able to put it in my arms, say how much I already feel proud to be a boy so hard and warrior.
But only I may hold your tiny and delicate hand, where I try to spend more than the heat of my hands, but my love him.
That little moment is precious to me, even this being the last place I want to be. My faith is renewed.
Adam's room, is not much different. But it is his hand conveying strength and courage to me; confidence and the certainty that, in the end, all will be well.
Curved my body until it reaches your ear.
- I love you - whisper through the mask on my face.
I envision her eyelashes tremble. Can you tell me otherwise, but I'm pretty sure he heard me.
It is easier to go home after that.
***
In the taxi on the way home, though my father and I keep in silence, he held my hand all the time.
I feel I have back the father of my early childhood. What took me in his baseball games and carried me on his shoulders.
As soon as we walked in, the smell of food in the welcomes. I see my mother coming from the kitchen, wearing an apron and a knife.
- I thought they would be tired and mostly hungry - she seems apprehensive, as if apologetically - I hope you do not mind having used your kitchen.
- I do not care - I smile to ease the tense atmosphere - The smell is very good.
- I did that folder you like - Mom smiled back at me - Go take a shower and go down.
It is difficult to re-establish ties with my mother after she told me about Ben. Still hurts a little to remember that she had suggested that I give the baby. But she's my mother. I love her despite everything that happened, and I wish that more loving and sweet memories like that can overcome the sad memories.
I climb the stairs. Step in the room of Benjamin first. See the empty crib causes a twinge in my chest impossible to avoid.
I caught one of his favorite teddies and grip against the nose, inhaling the baby yummy scent. I will not cry. I will not allow me. Soon he will be home and we will be a united and happy family.
When I swim in the bathtub, I realize how much I'm tired. I wish I could close my eyes and let me lead by lethargy. But my parents are downstairs. Would not it be delicate keep them waiting.
Almost half an hour later, I go down. A sweatpants and a t-shirt of my love be my pajamas tonight.
My mother had already set the table, and Dad was already seated, waiting.
I sit on the other side in front of him and my mother beside her.
We started to serve us. I prepare myself psychologically for seasickness that amazingly does not come. It has happened only in the morning, and nothing compared to what I had with Benjamin. I felt weak all the time. I heard that a pregnancy is never equal to another. Maybe Mom can tell me, since had the experience twice.
I decide I'll pull it after dinner.
The meal went quiet. I told you about the time I saw Adam and Ben. They told me about the trip and that was Julienne to give the key to the house for them. We kept the conversation light not to compromise dinner.
When we finished, I helped my mother in the kitchen. And assured that all was well, that did not need to go to a hotel. They could stay in the guest room.
We went up and pointed out where was the bedding. Before I left, my father patted the mattress, asking to sit beside him.
I know the time of the conversation had arrived.
- I do not know how to say what I need, so I'll start from the beginning.
I shake my head and stand still, listening to him. I envision with the eyes of the corner of my mother next to the window.
- When his mother was pregnant with you, we were not even married. This only happened after Cory was born. I saw that I needed to have a little more judgment in life. Remember how I was, is not it?
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