by H P Steven
“Yeah on the way, sounds like a plan,” Hannah replied.
As both, Audrey and Meredith agreed.
As we all got up and finally made our way to the first available taxi we came across, kissing both Audrey and Meredith on the cheek farewell, Hannah and I laughed as we headed back up the hill home.
“We should have stopped for a coffee,” I said, to Hannah as we were walking through the front door.
“Yeah we can pop back down later if you want,”
“Yeah if I start to feel better, should we try and get a few kilometres in?” I asked Hannah.
“Yeah sounds good, possibly walking and see how it goes though,” Hannah insisted.
“All right, I’m just going to lay down for a bit.”
As Hannah walked towards her room and closed the door. I walked into mine and when my head hit the pillow I was out to it again.
“Hey Phil are you awake, someone’s here to see you,” Hannah declared, knocking on my door.
Surprised awake I thought it must have been Karen, so grabbing a tee shirt I headed out to see her.
Only walking through my door and turning around and seeing Lisa, and the red around her eyes indicating she had been crying, my heart stopped as Hannah saw my expression.
“What’s happened Lisa?” I asked, as I walked towards her.
“Phil, can I talk to you in private please?” Lisa asked.
“Yeah, of course, follow me,”
Walking back into my room followed by Lisa grabbing a seat at my desk as Lisa looked at my bed and choose to stay standing.
“Is Karen okay,” I asked.
“No, she went into hospital last night,” Lisa replied.
“Can I see her,” I asked.
“Not at the moment, we don’t know what’s happening and she wanted to tell you last night, it’s not good, we’re all scared Phil, but you had to know, she told us,” Lisa said.
“Yeah, I thought she would have,”
“As soon as she says the word we will let you know,” Lisa insisted.
“I’d like to see her Lisa, I need to see her,” I remarked, slightly more annoyed than I was hoping for.
Everything we had seen and done flashed before me, it wasn’t lost on Lisa.
“I’d never seen her happier, thanks Phil. Both Georgia and I had a great time with Karen travelling around and that’s because of you,” Lisa declared.
“It’s, wow. I need to see her,” I said.
“We all know that, Tara’s heading over, we’re all,” Lisa said, as a tear made its way down her cheek.
“What’s your mum’s number?” I asked.
Lisa giving in hands me a note from her mum that has her number on it.
“Thank you Lisa,” I commented.
Sitting there for a few moments as we couldn’t speak, I understood why Karen didn’t want to see me at this point, but I was scared and disappointed.
“Okay I’ve got to go, Greg is waiting outside,” Lisa said.
“Yeah, I’ll walk you out.”
As we walked out and over to their parked car Greg got out and asked me how I was doing.
“Gutted man.”
As Greg shock my hand,
“As soon as we get the word I’ll come and get you myself, man,” Greg insisted.
“Thanks Greg, I’m gonna try and get a hold of Christine in the next few hours,” I mentioned.
“Do everything you can, Karen needs to see you,” Greg declared.
Lisa agreed as I saw them off and went back inside, most of the rest of the week being a massive blur. Talking to Christine wasn’t helpful at all, though she reiterated what Greg and Lisa had said.
20
The Empty Room
I got to the hospital around eight in the morning, Karen’s mum had rung me and Karen had asked to see me, I couldn’t get there fast enough. It had been so long that I had seen her.
“Hey you long time no see,” Julie declared, as I walked inside the hospital.
“Far out what are the chances you work here?” I asked.
Stunned that I wasn’t expecting to ever run into Julie again let alone she’d remember me from the days of seeing my mate Devin lying in a hospital unconscious.
“So I’m here to see Karen Arkos,” I mentioned.
“Oh really?” Julie remarked.
“You really know all the tough cases don’t you,” Julie added.
“Yeah well I try my best,” I joked, knowing I shouldn’t have.
“Okay, just let me check and I’ll take you back to see her,” Julie said.
“Thanks Julie.”
Heading behind reception, Julie typed in the name and see’s where Karen was being kept and took me down towards her room.
“So how has Devin been?” Julie asked.
“Um, really good I think haven’t spoken to him in a while,” I replied.
“I saw him when he was close to being fitted with a new leg and planning on physio for a few months but didn’t stop us going from pretending to fish and having a laugh,” I added.
“Good to hear he’s going all right then,” Julie said.
“Yeah, good enough to make it to China a while ago, I commented.
As I saw Karen’s mum sitting outside the room.
She noticed me as I followed Julie towards her and stood up to say hello.
“Hi Phil, nice to see you again,” Christine commented.
“How is she?” I asked
“Hey good to see you again as well Phil,” Julie said, before turning around and walking the other way.
“Mrs Arkos, how is she?” I asked again.
“She wanted to see you again but you have to know what you’re walking into,” Christine declared.
“She’s lost a bit of weight and has been struggling with her breathing for the past few days, I know you’ve been wanting to talk to her for a while but she sometimes struggles to put a sentence together,” She added.
“Wow, can I see her?” I asked.
As Christine moved to the side to let me open the door, tears flooded my eyes as I walked through and saw Karen lying there, I turned back to Christine and wipe the tears away and closed the door trying to be as brave as I could be. The sound must have woken Karen up as she noticed me walking towards her and tried to tidy up what’s left of her hair.
“Stop that, you don’t have to do that for me,” I whispered.
Reaching out to grab her hand, it felt weak and old, as she looked like she had aged a few years in the short amount of time we hadn’t seen each other.
“I’m sorry,” Karen whispered.
As I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
“I’ve missed you,” I said.
A tear fell down Karen’s cheek as she tells me she’s sorry again and tried really-hard to squeeze my hand.
My eyes started to fill with tears again and I tried to wipe them away with my free hand.
“You remember that time in Amsterdam you thought it was a good idea to eat a few of the space cakes and you walked around the hotel room naked all morning freaking out pretending to be a dinosaur?” I commented.
As a smile lit up Karen’s face,
“Yeah I do,” Karen mouthed.
“That trip was amazing,” Karen whispered, before becoming breathless again.
“The make a wish kids, that were filled with so much love and curiosity,” I mentioned.
Noticing the Karen’s eyes light up again.
“I’ve missed you,” I said.
“I’ve still got the photo of you in a tube top and MC Hammer pants on my desk,” I mentioned smiling.
As Karen’s eyes filled with tears.
“Thank you so much for the trip Phil,” Karen said, but started to cough.
Sinking back down into her pillow and smiles at me, as another tear falls down her cheek.
“I’m so sorry Phil,” Karen said, as her eyes filled with tears again.
“I’m so grateful for every day I got to spe
nd with you, every single moment you made me smile and still do,” I declared.
“How you’d make us take a moment and you’d asked me if I thought a place was beautiful,” I added.
“Yeah, I remember,” Karen said.
“The most beautiful thing I saw that whole trip, was waking up to you each morning and the warmth that thought still gives me, I’m not sorry,” I declared.
As Karen’s eye’s filled with tears and she can’t stop herself from bursting into tears. I hugged her and told her thanks again and again holding her tightly as I could as she felt so fragile, also trying to hide the tears streaming down my face.
As I’m trying really-hard to wipe away the tears, I don’t know why I’m trying to be strong for Karen. The strongest person I’d ever met.
“Do you remember the time on the train through Russia you tried to sing a bunch of kiwi songs,” Karen struggled to get through but said whispering.
I smiled and said.
“Yeah, I really sucked probably should have had a look at the words.”
As Karen lied there smiling.
“I also remember laying on a beach in Nice, France and the guy came up to us and asked us if we had paid to sit there?” I said.
“Which we had,” Karen whispered back.
“Are you getting tired?” I asked
“No, I wanted to see you,” Karen insisted
Looking into my eyes.
“I love you Phil,” Karen said, as a tear falls down her cheek and the light from the ceiling in the room, reflects off it, and I wipe my eyes again.
I leaned in and whispered something into her ear and she smiled at me as I go to sit on the chair next to her bed. Karen rolled over and just stared at me till a few moments later she drifted off to sleep. I stayed there for a few more hours holding on to her hand with my head on the bed till I started to drift off to sleep myself.
Thinking back to our trip, I find myself back at the small bar we found in Switzerland, we had such a great day there, we drank so much and have no idea how long it took to get back to our hotel room.
“This is just what the doctor ordered,” Karen commented
“Yeah I couldn’t agree more,”
“So tell me a story?” I added
“Of what? Actually you know before I worked with Audrey me and my sisters went on a trip,” Karen started.
“Where are we going with this story Karen?” I asked.
“I think you know, you always seem too know,” Karen remarked.
“Ha, I’ll go get us another jug then let you continue,” I said.
Getting up and heading to the bar and buying another jug I made my way back over to Karen and sunk back into the leather chairs next to the fire place. Karen’s sister was at the hotel and we still had a couple of days before flying out to China.
“Yeah so it’s the first time I kissed a women,” Karen commented.
“What?” I said. Coughing on a little bit of beer.
Mostly trying not to laugh. She had told me this story in an email, but I guess the beer was starting to take hold and she felt the need to tell me her story of how her sisters told her once about the older woman at the bar watching her and how it made her feel awkward. I laughed and thought straight away that I shouldn’t have.
“Yeah well they dared me to go and talk to her, they must have been bored,” Karen mentioned.
“So what did you do?” I asked. Leaning forward in my chair giving the impression that I was interested in hearing more and not leaning over to the table to refill my drink.
“Well, I went and talked to her and we got on really well, unfortunately my sisters left me and went back to our room, so I was left there,” Karen started.
Getting up and heading over to sit on the table right in front of me and leaning over to whisper in my ear.
“I never told anyone this Phil, but I actually went back to her room that night, maybe we should leave and head back to ours and I can show you what we got up too,” Karen whispered.
With a seductive smile on her face.
“Yeah, let’s go,” I insisted.
Standing up a little bit wobbly.
“That’s okay you’ll be doing most of the work with other parts of your body,” Karen said, kissing my ear and biting my ear lobe.
“Um, what are you doing?” I said, smiling
“Oh don’t worry I’ll show you exactly what to do,” Karen insisted.
Finally making our way back to our room, I’m certain it took us longer getting back, as it did too actually get to the bar.
Finding our way inside, Karen jumped me and we start taking our clothes off.
Woken up by the alarms and Christine rushing into the room followed by the medical staff, they pushed me away and tried and go to work on Karen, its then a nurse came over and tried to get me to wait outside. I made it to the door when I turned back and saw the defibrillator being used on Karen, my heart started to sink. I took a seat just outside away from the door as staff keep rushing in. It’s not till I see one of the nurses holding on to Christine as she’s crying, that I realise what must have happened and I continued to sit there stunned. I still had so much more I wanted to say. Though I had said the most important thing, my heart sunk and I couldn’t cry. Julie walked out and turned to talk to me.
“Hey, so I’m guessing you have a fair idea what just happened.”
“Yeah, but it’s still really-tough,” I said.
“Well, the nurses are tidying up in there so you’ll be able to say good-bye if you want,” Julie declared.
“Yeah, I’d like that, thanks Julie,”
“Can I see your phone for a minute?” Julie asked
“Yeah sure,” I handed it to her after unlocking it.
“All right this is my number, I know some people that have been in this situation and are pretty helpful to talk to,” Julie insisted.
“Yeah, thanks Julie that would be great,” I replied, going through the patterns I was kind of at a loss at this point. I could hear Christine asking the nurse who was holding her up and trying to get her over to a seat to sit down.
“Why, why my beautiful Karen, why?” Christine continued to ask.
“All right there you go,” Julie said, as she handed me back my phone.
Placing her hand on my shoulder for a moment before she got up and walked away towards Christine.
“All right,” I whispered.
Just as the nurses came out of the room and Julie had a quick look inside and walked over to Christine to have a word to her also before coming back to me. I noticed Christine got up off her seat and walked into Karen’s room.
“You can go in when-ever you’re ready, don’t forget to give the number a dial when you’re ready to talk to someone,” Julie declared.
“Thanks Julie.”
Not really-knowing how to end the conversation I walked back into the room and stood in the corner and saw Christine holding her daughters hand.
“You’re free now, of all the pain my darling, your free,” Christine declared.
As she turned to me and let me know how much I meant to her daughter.
“Thank you Mrs Arkos, that means a lot,” I replied.
“She talked about the trip you both took nearly every day,” Christine insisted.
“Yeah, I smile all the time thinking about it,” I replied.
“I’ll let Audrey know the funeral details so you won’t have to worry too much,” Christine started to tell me before starting to cry again.
My eyes were filling with tears as I went over to hug her, embracing her I quickly thanked her for the opportunity to see Karen and said as much as I could. Everything was held in the whisper and I was thankful she heard what I said.
I stayed for another hour, just standing there trying to dry my eyes before leaving, only going as I’m sure Karen’s sisters were walking past me being shown to her room by Julie again. I nodded as I went to walked out the door and back out into the world.
> As the day slipped into night I found myself walking all the way home, I didn’t check my phone when it rang or when I felt it vibrating to let me know I had a text. I walked through the front door of my place and headed straight to my room. I woke up a few hours later with Hannah lying next to me, wrapped in a blanket and snoring her head off. I leaned over and wiped my eyes.
“Hey snorey mcsnorey,” I said.
Giving Hannah a little shake.
As her eyes open I asked her, “What are you doing in my bed?”
“Hey Phil, you’re awake,” Hannah declared yawning.
“Are you hungry, I made a lasagne and I’m not sure if it’s any good,” Hannah added.
“Actually, I could eat pretty much anything,” I replied.
As I went to get up and Hannah hugged me quickly around the neck, but it doesn’t stop me from getting up, as I practically piggy back her out to the kitchen.
“How are you?” Hannah asked.
Getting off my back and grabbing a couple of plates.
“Still a little in shock, I don’t want to get use to this Hannah,” I declared.
“Yeah me neither, Audrey rang also” Hannah added.
“Yeah, I thought she would.”
Taking the lasagne from the fridge and cutting it up and putting it on to plates then quickly into the microwave to heat it up. I hand Hannah the first plate as she took it with a tea towel and takes it out to the dining table with a couple of knives and folks. Only coming back to the fridge for some NZ tomato sauce.
“Thanks for doing this Hannah,” I declared.
As I sat down at the table next to her and enjoyed the slightly bland lasagne she cooked. Slowly starting to laugh I got up and grabbed the salt and pepper. Eyed suspiciously by Hannah.
“What’s wrong with it?” Hannah asked.
“Just a bit bland, but the gesture is where you scored the brownie points,” I replied.
“You’re such a douchebag,” Hannah said laughing.
“Hand me the salt and pepper,” Hannah added.
As I laughed handing them to her.
“So much better isn’t it,” I mentioned.
Smiling as she took a folk full with the added salt and pepper and starts smiling.
“Wow, I knew I’d forgotten something.”
“So what did Audrey have to say for herself?” I asked.