SANDRA. Yes.
DAIRNE. First time in what?
Twenty, twenty-five years?
SANDRA. Not twenty-five?
DAIRNE. Almost twenty-five.
SANDRA. God…
Pause.
DAIRNE. You never wrote.
SANDRA. Didn’t I?
DAIRNE. No. And I wondered.
I wondered how you were doing.
SANDRA. I was… I am… doing fine… thanks.
DAIRNE. So I see!
SANDRA. Yes.
…Did you write?
DAIRNE. Eh… no.
SANDRA smiles.
I’m loving Dublin now though.
SANDRA. Good for you.
DAIRNE. Thanks.
Slight pause.
Where are you living then… in London?
SANDRA. Molesey.
DAIRNE. Christ that sounds leafy!
Practically underground…
SANDRA laughs again.
And where is your handsome brother?
SANDRA. Brussels.
DAIRNE. Of course he is.
I bet he works for the UN or something?
SANDRA. He does.
Human Rights.
DAIRNE. Of course.
SANDRA. He’s married now.
Three kids.
DAIRNE. Are you trying to hurt my feelings?
She smiles.
SANDRA. No.
Though I always hated that you fancied him instead of me.
DAIRNE. I know you did.
Slight pause.
So!
SANDRA. So?
DAIRNE. Is that wine?
SANDRA. Wine?
DAIRNE. On the sideboard.
SANDRA. Yes that’s wine.
Would you like some?
DAIRNE. Yes please.
SANDRA starts to lift the cork.
Four glasses?
Are you expecting someone?
SANDRA. Just the estate agent.
DAIRNE. The estate agent is coming for drinks?
SANDRA. Yes, it’s Suzie Levins’ sister. Do you remember her? She was two years behind us at school. She’s coming over to look at the place…
DAIRNE. Do you need me to go?
SANDRA. No, they won’t be here for ages.
I just… I just want to hand it over, you know, hand the whole thing over.
DAIRNE. Why?
SANDRA. Because… because I’m busy.
I have a busy life.
DAIRNE. Great.
SANDRA. Yeah.
Anyway I’m all curious now.
DAIRNE. Are you?
SANDRA. Of course.
I mean… it’s such a change yet…
DAIRNE. Yet…?
SANDRA. I’d know it’s you.
Except maybe for the voice…
DAIRNE. The voice?
SANDRA. Or accent…
But I’d know your eyes.
I think I would always know your eyes.
Slight pause.
I never thought you’d come back to Ireland though… of all people!
DAIRNE. Sure I had to catch up with all the old gang.
SANDRA. You did!?
DAIRNE. Hardly! You know I hated them… hated everyone except you.
SANDRA. College was different.
DAIRNE. Yes, college was different.
Because no one gave a shit.
Here’s to not giving a shit!
She toasts. SANDRA joins her.
They drink.
SANDRA. So what are you doing now?
In Dublin?
DAIRNE. I’m living with someone.
SANDRA. Are you?
DAIRNE. Yes. Pat. He’s a nurse. He cycles, he cooks and he’s fabulous. We’re even thinking of getting married.
SANDRA. Well! Congratulations.
DAIRNE. Thank you. Who’d have thought it… in Ireland!
SANDRA. Yes. Yes. And what do you do?
DAIRNE. Do?
SANDRA. For work?
DAIRNE. I work in IT.
SANDRA. IT!?
DAIRNE. Software development.
SANDRA. Jesus how did that happen?
DAIRNE. I don’t know really. I was doing a show in the States and one of the dancers… he had a brother… and we… well, we were together for a while and he had a software company… so I just…
SANDRA. Fell into it.
DAIRNE. Yeah.
SANDRA.…You always fell into things.
DAIRNE. Did I?
SANDRA. Yes.
DAIRNE. Anyway. I’m all conventional now.
SANDRA. Hardly!
She laughs.
DAIRNE doesn’t.
There is the sound of someone coming in the front door.
Oh God… that’s Ray.
You’ll meet Ray.
He’s my…
DAIRNE. Husband?
SANDRA. Yes.
My husband.
RAY (entering). Okay, love. I think I got everything. I decided to get a bottle of gin as well.
DAIRNE. I think I love Ray already.
RAY. Oh right you’re here.
You must be Linda!
DAIRNE. No.
SANDRA. No. This is…
DAIRNE. Dairne.
RAY. Dairne?
SANDRA. We’re old friends.
RAY. Really? Great to meet you.
They shake hands.
DAIRNE. You too.
SANDRA. He just popped in.
DAIRNE. I just popped in.
SANDRA. We haven’t seen each other for years.
RAY. Right… okay.
Fantastic.
Well, I’m Ray!
I’ve just been out to get some supplies and one of these fire-log things!
SANDRA. Oh… that’s a great idea, Ray.
RAY (to DAIRNE). To start a fire.
The place is bloody freezing
SANDRA. We tried the heating…
RAY. But there’s an airlock or something.
He starts trying to light the log.
Best bet is one of these things I think.
DAIRNE. I just wonder if that might be wise?
RAY. Sorry?
DAIRNE. There might be birds up the chimney or something…
SANDRA. Oh?
RAY. Birds?
DAIRNE. Yes.
RAY. Doubt it, Dairne.
Should be fine.
Bit of atmosphere if nothing else.
DAIRNE. Sure. Bit of atmosphere.
RAY. Do you know, I might just hop up and change, I got drenched again!
DAIRNE. Bloody Ireland!
RAY. Eh… yes, yeah?!
DAIRNE. Go get dry, Ray.
RAY. I will. I will. Thanks…
SANDRA. Dairne.
RAY. Dairne.
He’s gone.
DAIRNE. Well… he’s not bad, not bad at all, Sandra Byrne.
SANDRA. Were you just flirting with him?
Flirting with my husband?
DAIRNE laughs.
DAIRNE. How long are you two married?
SANDRA. Twelve, no, fourteen years.
DAIRNE. Wow!
SANDRA. Is that good?
DAIRNE. That’s long.
Kids?
SANDRA. Yes. Kids.
DAIRNE. One boy.
One girl?
SANDRA. What’s that supposed to mean?
DAIRNE. Nothing…
SANDRA. I think that you’re insinuating something.
DAIRNE. I’m not.
SANDRA. I know you.
DAIRNE. I’m only asking… honestly!
SANDRA. Okay!
One boy.
One girl.
Emma and Séan.
DAIRNE. Perfect.
SANDRA. See… you were insinuating something.
DAIRNE. I just knew it would all work out for you.
SANDRA. And?
DAIRNE. I’m glad!
I’m really glad, Sandra.
There’s a ring on the doorbell. SANDRA turns.
SANDRA. What?
DAIRNE. That must be your estate agent!
SANDRA. It can’t be… I’ve nothing done!
DAIRNE. Do you want me to answer the door?
RAY (off). They’re early, Sandra!
SANDRA. I know.
RAY (off). Can you get the door?
SANDRA. No, I need to put this stuff away!
RAY (off). Okay I’ll get it.
SANDRA (to DAIRNE). Stick that polish in the drawer, will you.
I’ll be back in a minute.
She exits other direction to the front door (kitchen) and with the hoover.
We hear greetings being made out in the hall. RAY and LINDA and EDDIE enter.
DAIRNE stands up.
DAIRNE. Hiya!
LINDA. Oh hello!
RAY. This is Dairne. An old friend of Sandra’s.
LINDA. Dairne?
DAIRNE. Sandra just went into the kitchen.
EDDIE. Hi there.
LINDA. This is Eddie, my husband.
EDDIE. Linda’s husband.
DAIRNE. Lovely.
RAY. Great.
So can I get you guys a drink?
DAIRNE. Sandra opened a bottle of wine…
RAY. Did she?
EDDIE. Yes please…
LINDA. Wine is perfect.
SANDRA comes in with a bowl of ice for gin and tonics.
SANDRA. I’m so sorry I just popped into the kitchen.
LINDA. Sandra Byrne, look at you!
SANDRA. Hi Linda… Oooh hang on and I’ll just put this stuff down…
LINDA. It’s so great to see you…
SANDRA. Yes, thanks… thank you so much for coming round.
LINDA. I’m delighted.
We’re delighted.
Aren’t we, Eddie?
This is Eddie, the hubby.
EDDIE comes forward.
EDDIE. Hi Sandra… what a lovely old place this is!
EDDIE gives SANDRA a strong handshake.
LINDA. It is, isn’t it.
DAIRNE. Welcome to about 1980…!
RAY. Yes…!
LINDA. We call it ‘character’! Nothing a good clear-out and lick of paint can’t fix. And this room is just soooo cosy!
DAIRNE. It is, isn’t it.
RAY. Would you rather a gin and tonic than the wine. Linda?
LINDA. No thanks. Ray.
DAIRNE. I might have a gin. Ray?
RAY. Oh sure… and you, Sandra?
SANDRA doesn’t answer.
LINDA. So how old is the house?
SANDRA doesn’t answer.
LINDA smiles expectantly.
Sandra?
SANDRA. Sorry…?
LINDA. How old is the house?
I know it looks sixties but the layout doesn’t fit…
RAY. It was a farmhouse, wasn’t it, Sandra? Originally? And then your dad added on…
SANDRA. Yes… Dad added on…
EDDIE. Regularly, by the looks of things!
Lots of flat roof!
RAY. Yes.
DAIRNE. A dead giveaway, is it, Linda?
LINDA. God yes… a lot of ad-hoc extensions were done in the seventies…
EDDIE. Usually without planning permission.
LINDA. And that can cause complications with the sale.
RAY. Oh dear…
LINDA. I’m not saying that it will in this case, Ray, but best to be forewarned. (Coughs.)
RAY. Oh… right… great.
EDDIE. Was it long in the family?
SANDRA doesn’t answer.
RAY. Sandra?
SANDRA. Oh… yes… sorry… at least back to Granddad… it was my granddad’s house.
LINDA. You have the deeds?
SANDRA. I do. We do.
LINDA. Super. I thought I might take all the documentation with me tonight. Then do the tour! So I know what we are talking about in terms of valuation.
RAY. Great… that sounds great, doesn’t it, San?
SANDRA. Eh… yes… yeah.
LINDA. Because you two leave on – ?
RAY. Monday.
Can’t let the kids kill their gran!
LINDA. No!
EDDIE. That wouldn’t be very helpful!
LINDA. Ahhhhhhh God how old are the kids, Sandra?
SANDRA doesn’t answer. She just stands motionless. RAY interjects, a bit perplexed by her behaviour.
RAY. Emma is eleven.
And Séan is seven.
LINDA. Gorgeous! You’ll have to bring them over next time… so we can meet them.
RAY. Yes… yes… they love a trip. They love it here… don’t they, Sandra?
SANDRA (quietly). Yes.
RAY. But we thought it better to focus on the business of the house for this visit.
LINDA. Absolutely.
EDDIE. Get this albatross SOLD!
RAY. I suppose so…
LINDA. And is your brother happy to sell?
SANDRA. Yes.
RAY. Everything is in order on that front.
LINDA. Good… Wow, Eamon Byrne… My sixteen-year-old-self would just die at the thought of being in his front room! Eamon was the heart-throb round Glenealy, Ray!
DAIRNE. Yes he was.
LINDA. Oh… did you know him… Dairne?
DAIRNE. Vaguely.
LINDA. And where is he now, Sandra?
SANDRA. Brussels.
LINDA. Married and all?
SANDRA. Yes.
DAIRNE. Darn it!
LINDA laughs politely.
Slight pause.
SANDRA hasn’t moved from the back wall.
EDDIE. So where are you from yourself, Ray?
RAY. London, well, London via Fanore.
We moved over when I was a kid.
EDDIE. Fanore County Clare?
RAY. Yes.
EDDIE. That’s a lovely spot, isn’t it, Linda.
I think we went surfing there once?!
LINDA. Yes we did.
Sweet little place.
RAY. Hungry little place.
EDDIE. And have you people there?
LINDA. A house?
RAY. No. No. They’re all gone.
All in England now.
LINDA. Really!
EDDIE. Linda tells me you work in television, Ray?
RAY. Yes, I do.
LINDA. Very exciting!
RAY. Not really. I’m in the finance end.
Sandra is the creative in the family.
EDDIE. Really… are you, Sandra?
SANDRA just stands rigid against the wall. There is a pause.
RAY. Is everything okay, love?
SANDRA. No, no… Yes.
RAY. Are you sure?
SANDRA. Yes… I’m sure.
LINDA. Great.
Still, you must get to meet a lot of celebs?
RAY. Sandra does.
LINDA. Aren’t you the dark horse!
No one round here knew you were in the BBC?!
SANDRA. I’m not in the BBC.
LINDA. Oh?
SANDRA. I work for a small production company.
DAIRNE. Writing?
SANDRA. Editorial.
DAIRNE. Well done.
LINDA. So, do you make programmes then for the BBC?
SANDRA. Sometimes…
RAY. Documentaries.
LINDA. Ooooooooooh!
EDDIE. And are you in that world, Dairne?
DAIRNE. Me? No.
EDDIE. So how do you two know each other then?
There is a slight pause.
RAY. College?
DAIRNE. Yes we went to UCD together.
EDDIE. Oh? What year?
LINDA. Eddie went to UCD.
EDDIE. Economics ’90 to ’95.
LINDA. Eddie teaches now.
EDDIE. Did the dip.
LINDA. He’s Principal at Saint Ultans, that’s the local secondary school.<
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SANDRA. Jesus!
LINDA. Sorry?
RAY. What’s up…?
SANDRA. I just… I just… I think I put some samosas in the oven. I better… I better just go check on them.
LINDA. Oh but you shouldn’t have gone to that trouble…!
SANDRA exits. RAY looks confused.
RAY. Right, well… more wine, anyone?
LINDA. Yes please.
EDDIE. I must say this chair is interesting.
LINDA. Very vintage.
EDDIE sinks almost to floor level in a seventies-style wood and leather chair.
DAIRNE. I think Sandra’s dad was a bit of a DIY enthusiast.
RAY. Yes he was… did a lot of the work around the house…
DAIRNE. Even built items of furniture.
EDDIE. Ah…
RAY. As you see.
EDDIE. It’s comfy… but a bit low…
He attempts to get out of it, then changes his mind.
LINDA. We can get rid of all the furnishings for you, Ray.
RAY. Great.
EDDIE. So do you guys come over regularly then?
RAY. No. Not really. Not since Sandra’s dad died… but when the kids were born, of course.
LINDA. Of course!
EDDIE. And you’re not tempted to hold on to the place at all?
Renovate? Invest?
RAY. No. Well, I thought we might at one stage but Sandra…
I think life is busy enough in London.
LINDA. I’m sure it is. And best to sell then before it deteriorates.
RAY. Exactly.
EDDIE. Any further!
RAY. Okay… got it!
LINDA coughs.
LINDA. Is it just me or is it a bit smoky in here?
DAIRNE. I think it might be a bit smoky!
EDDIE. Could it be those samosas?
DAIRNE. Or that fire?
I wonder is it the fire, Ray?
RAY. God… it might be…
DAIRNE. You see it probably hasn’t been cleaned in years…
EDDIE. Might be best to put it out.
RAY. Right. Good call. And how do I do that?
DAIRNE. Just throw something over it. It’s only one of those logs.
LINDA. Because if it gets very hot… a lot of soot might come down.
EDDIE. Or the whole chimney go on fire.
RAY. Are you serious?
DAIRNE. Yes, just use that jug of water.
EDDIE. I’m sure I can help!
But he can’t quite get out of the chair.
DAIRNE throws a jug of water over the fire getting half of it on EDDIE.
DAIRNE. Oh sorry, Eddie.
EDDIE. Not to worry…
Only a drop.
RAY gives him an antimacassar to dry himself off with.
LINDA. I might just open a window.
DAIRNE. Good idea.
SANDRA returns with a tray of nibbles.
RAY. Spot of bother here with the log, love.
SANDRA. Oh.
LINDA. There might be birds up there or something.
DAIRNE. Exactly.
SANDRA. Sorry about that.
LINDA. Not at all.
Old houses…!
Rathmines Road Page 2