“I think so.” I whispered back.
“What happened?”
I really didn’t know what to say and blubbered out. “I don’t know.”
Of course I know! I felt I had found someone to love. You make me so comfortable. I can be me with you …
I kept talking when I knew I should shut up. “It’s been too long since I’ve been with someone who was more concerned with me than with himself. I guess, I just … I mean, I felt … PJ, I feel good with you.” I looked up. “Does that make any sense?”
“Of course, it does.”
He didn’t say anything else. He just closed his eyes and pulled me to him.
Come on, don’t clam up here. I just bared my soul to you. You got nothing to say? How do you feel about me? Come on … please. Just like a man … I screwed up didn’t I. Damn!
We lay on our backs in bed staring at the ceiling fan. The breeze was refreshing on our sweaty bodies. My mind was clear and the comfort level was back up. My lover had turned into my friend again. “Let’s do something today. Want to go to Church this morning?”
“I would love to go with you.” PJ replied and didn’t hesitate.
Good I’ll get to see him in the daylight.
Hand in hand, we walked to the shower room. I turned on the shower to let some steam build in the room. “Get us some towels and wash cloths out of the cabinet.”
When PJ returned, he joined me in the hot shower. I couldn’t help but notice his manhood was taking in all my nakedness and was beginning to respond again. We both laughed at the involuntary action.
PJ then joked. “Please pardon Richard; he doesn’t know how to act in polite mixed company.”
I laughed and immediately said to PJ. “Come on in, the water feels great.”
The water flowed over PJ’s head and down his body. My back was turned away from him when I heard a loud shriek. I turned around in time to see PJ reaching for his manhood and bent over in obvious pain. PJ stepped, in fact almost fell out of the shower.
“Dang, that water is killing me. You worked me over pretty good.”
I looked at his penis. It was a bright red. I could see small scratches along its full length. “Looks red, I bet it hurts. Poor baby, I’ll get you something.” I rushed to the medicine cabinet to find something for scratches. All I could find was some cortisone. “Here let me make it all better. Do you want me to kiss it?” I was having fun again teasing him. “You be careful next time.”
“Me, be careful?”
“You know it was worth it, now be still, you big baby.”
“Thanks. Better let it heal. Maybe next time. Deal tiger?”
He said next time; I wonder when and how. Do I want a next time? Hell yes! I carried on washing my hair, while he gently dabbed around his wounded warrior.
PJ put on his clothes from last night and asked. “Charley, you get dressed. I’m going to the hotel and get my bags. Pick me up in front, okay?”
And he was gone.
When I heard the door close, I had the strangest feeling. It was like a balloon deflating. I was on an emotional high and suddenly the door had slammed shut and my balloon burst wide open. I just had fantastic sex with a man I didn’t really know. I thought I loved him.
The truth is I don’t really know how I felt about him.
Chapter Sixteen
I finished dressing and went around the back for the SUV. As I drove up Second Avenue to park in front of the Summit, my mind was working overtime. I wavered; I was ready to enjoy our physical relationship and be happy for the weekend. I mean he was great in bed and I sure needed some amazing sex. But he was also a fantastic guy, considerate and easy to talk to. I could see us together for a long time. But I’ve felt this way before and it hadn’t worked out. Maybe I better just enjoy him while I can, but I sure wish I could enjoy him longer. I don’t know …
There was a rap on the door and his familiar voice boomed out. “Hey girl, open the trunk so I can get this gear in.” He put his bags in the trunk and got in the passenger’s side. “What were you daydreaming about? Not sleepy are you?”
“No, just thinking how wonderful you are.”
“Right,” he laughed. “Let’s get to church then so you can ask for forgiveness.”
I smiled at him and said. “Got you a sweet roll and some orange juice.”
I go to the First Community Church, not far from Jimmy’s. I drove past my condo building.
“That’s where I live,” I explained. “We can come back there later.”
“What about the apartment over the Bar?”
“The apartment is a holdover from the old days when Jimmy’s Bar was both home and work for Jimmy and his wife. I only use it if I’m working late, or just don’t want to go home alone. I haven’t invited any man to my bedroom in that apartment since Randle died. It’s always been my solitude away from the world, and I’ve kept it that way until you came along. I’m glad you were the first to be invited in.”
“Well technically, Wilma and Ronnie invited me to spend the night. But that’s still quite a compliment, thanks.”
“Here, I was trying to be sexy and you break the spell with technicalities … not cool.” I replied, laughing.
“Sorry about that. Regardless, I do appreciate the honor.”
We parked, entered the church and sat in the center section about midway.
“Everyone knows you, don’t they?”PJ remarked curiously.
“I do a lot of charity work with some of them and I’ve been a member here since I was a young girl.”
PJ then commented about something that had never crossed my mind. “I noticed everyone knows you … but no one calls you Charley. It’s always Charlotte or Ms. Howard. That’s sort of strange.”
I really didn’t know what to say. “Yes, suppose it is,” was all that seemed to fit.
The music was exceptional.
Our preacher, Pastor John Richards, is a gifted public speaker. Today was no exception. His sermon was based on Samuel 16:1-13 and I was particularly taken by the passage in verse 7. ‘… The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’
This was straight to the point for me. I needed to see his heart! Certainly sex was fantastic with PJ and the lust for more sex with him was pretty high on my list of things to do. But I had to know there was more there than fantastic sex.
We held hands in Church, something I hadn’t done since I was a teenager in love with Bobby Wagner. When Pastor John read the passage from Samuel, I felt PJ squeeze my hand slightly. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking the same about me.
I knew a lot about him of course, but it was all superficial stuff relating to his basketball and coaching careers, things on the outside. Now that I’d met him, and my dream fantasies had been realized, I needed to see if there was anything beyond the awesome sex. How was he as a person? Was there any substance to him? Could I love him for the sake of love? And so, I returned his slight hand squeeze when Pastor John read, ‘…but God looks at the heart.’
In the quietness of my mind, I wondered. Is there a chance to turn this weekend’s lust into love, and will it be worth the effort?
I tossed PJ the keys as we left the church, and we headed north on Douglas Ave. “Do you want anything to eat while we’re out?”
“I think I’d like to just order a pizza and spend the day inside. It will give us some time to talk.”
“What kind of pizza do you like?”
“I like the all meat type please.”
“Of course you do. I’ll get a half and half, because I prefer an all vegetarian.” I dialed Mama’s on Vaughn Street and ordered a large half meat and half vegetarian with a side order of five cheese breads. “It’ll be ready in ten minutes. Mama’s is ahead about six blocks. Take a right on Vaughn and it’s on the right again. So, how did you like the Church service?”
“Charley, you have a wonderful Church, and everyone s
eems to know you. The music was amazingly good. Your pastor … Pastor John, isn’t that his name? He seemed to be talking directly to me with his message.”
“Thought you might be thinking the same thing I was. I hoped you were,” I replied. I directed him through town to Mama’s to pick up the pizza. “You go pick up the pizza, I need to go to the drug store next door.”
When I returned, PJ asked. “What did you get?”
“Are you writing a book? I’ll let you know soon enough.” I laughed again. “Just drive please.”
He parked the vehicle in the condo parking garage and we walked to the elevator. My condo is on the eleventh floor of the twelve-story building. The door to the condo was a short walk down the spacious well kept hallway.
I swept through the door, and announced with a flourish. “This is my modest home, come in.”
PJ looked inside the door and laughed. “Did you say modest? You’ve done wonders with that contrast of modern whites and softer earth tones. Kind of an understated elegance. Big difference from the Bar.”
“You sound like you know something about decorating.”
“A little; I thought about being an architect in college and we had several interior design classes. I like the accent pieces, and the color you used, which give the clean lines a softness and warmth.”
“Good, put the pizza on the counter and give me some decorating pointers.”
Looking around the open space, PJ gave me the perfect response. “Hard to improve on perfection!”
The living room had two conversation areas. The area by the open bar had two white stuffed sofas facing each other. On the glass top table between the sofas were three crystal vases of differing heights. Each vase had a bouquet of summer flowers expertly arranged. A second conversation area centered on the stone fireplace, with a huge sixty-inch LG television mounted above the mantle, installed expertly with surround sound equipment to blend with the décor. The floors were a blond hardwood, with beautiful carpets in warm earth tones accenting the conversation areas. Along the far wall was a bank of full length curtains, begging to be opened to let in the sunlight. The floor to ceiling sliding doors behind the curtains opened to a wide patio, wrapping around the corner of the building.
After depositing the pizza, PJ stepped outside onto the exposed patio. The view was toward the hills to the south of Nashville. From my patio, you can see Music Row, Belmont University and on to the Seven Hills area. The condo towered over other city buildings, to give someone with a little imagination the feeling they were on a deck of a secluded cabin in those wooded hills.
“This is awesome Charley; can I come live with you?”
As he stood mesmerized by the view, I came up behind him, put my arms around his waist and laid my head on his broad back. I playfully purred. “You healed yet or do you want to eat some food first?”
PJ was laughing that loud hokey laugh and he replied jokingly. “I won’t be healed for a week after that vicious attack this morning. Let’s just eat and talk. There’ll be time to satisfy our other appetites later.”
Frankly I was glad to hear this for a very personal reason. The morning’s lovemaking had been especially hard on me as well. I’d got a little carried away ramming home and caused a small tear on my outside lips. And my insides were sore from the constant pounding of his intensive love machine. The salve I purchased from the drug store would help, but frankly, I felt like a little break from the physical lovemaking. Although to be honest, I could stand a little old fashioned heavy necking and cuddling instead.
“Why don’t you pour us a drink and take the pizza out to the patio while I change into something more comfortable?” I suggested. “The glasses are in the cabinet to the right of the sink. I’ll have a beer, Coors Light for me please.”
“Can or glass?”
“Chilled glass will be great. They’re in the refrigerator.”
While PJ found the glasses and the beer and began taking it all to the patio, I changed into something cooler. I found a baby blue v-neck tee-shirt and white soft shorts with flared legs and house slippers. I didn’t bother with a bra, more out of habit than any sexy thought.
He was standing at the rail around the patio sipping his beer when I returned. He turned and smiled as I approached him. “You look fantastic and comfortable.”
I admit I was a little underdressed and he did look awfully uncomfortable in those Dockers and golf shirt in comparison.
“Why don’t you slip off your trousers and just wear your shorts and shirt? It’s too hot for regular clothes. I promise I won’t attack you.”
“Darn.”
He didn’t argue and he slipped off the slacks he had worn to Church. I was a bit surprised to see that he wasn’t wearing jockey briefs, but loose fitting silky black boxers.
“The boxers don’t irritate me as much as the briefs,” he explained almost apologetically. He unbuttoned his shirt and asked if I would mind if he took it off as well.
Are you kidding?
Once on the patio, we each took one of the two baby-blue recliners. A fan hung from the canopy, partially covering the patio, and provided a slight movement of the warm air. Other than the whine of the fan, there was a relaxing and almost soothing quietness.
As much as I wanted to have a nice relaxing afternoon, eating, drinking and talking, I guess I was still feeling the excitement of this morning. “You know this patio is completely private. Why don’t we really get comfortable?”
Damn, woman, you’ve gone from shy introvert to brazen hussy. Good for me!
“How so?’
I unbuttoned the shorts, removed them and pulled the tee over my head. “You can come out of those boxers if you want to.”
Within minutes of reaching the patio, we were both naked, lying on the recliners, soaking in the sun, drinking beer and eating pizza.
Hey, this might work after all.
I was relaxed and wanted to get to know this man. “PJ, let’s talk.”
“Okay. I’ll go first. Where are you from?”
“I’m from here in Nashville. My folks had a small house in an area called the States in West Nashville; all the streets were named for states of the Union. My mom and dad were Russ and Kate Howard. They’re both gone now. My father was not a nice man; he left mom and me when I was twelve and we never heard from him again. Mom didn’t seem to mind. He was physically and emotionally abusive to her. Sadly, mom died in an auto accident when I was twenty and in college.”
“That’s tough Charlotte. I’m sorry to hear that. What kind of work did they do?”
“Dad worked at Ford, and mom was an assistant bookkeeper with a local plumbing supply house. They never had much money when I was growing up, just enough to get by. After my father left, mom went to work with the local bank. To this day, I don’t know how she managed to send me to college, but she did!”
“Sounds like she was a good mom.”
“Yes, she was. Real independent and proud and she never complained. You would have liked her. My turn; so where are you from?”
“Cleveland’s my home; at least it was after my mom divorced my father. He was an alcoholic. She finally had had enough, and worked up the courage to leave him when I was five. She never remarried, didn’t have time, I guess. She didn’t have any education beyond high school, but was able to secure a pretty good job as a legal assistant. She eventually worked her way through college and night school, and became a lawyer. She’s always been my hero.”
“Gives you a different perspective on the ability of women, I guess?”
“I get my bullheadedness and drive from her.”
“And your tenderness as well?”
“You make me blush, don’t tell anyone. I’m supposed to be a tough guy.”
“Your secret is safe with me. Tell me about your marriage.”
“I met Sybil while playing in Memphis. She was a media representative with the Commercial Appeal, good looking and sexy and great in bed. But she was not particularly
attractive out in the real world, very bitchy, always had to have her way and looked down on people, especially those without money. I was blinded by sex, and didn’t think to notice the more important stuff. We lasted two years, and if I really admitted it, I was relieved when she gave me a reason to ask for a divorce. She liked the excitement and the glamour of my basketball career, but she hated the thought of being a coach’s wife in a small town. Thankfully there were no children. I made a big mistake, and regret almost every minute we were together.”
There was a pause as we each reflected before PJ continued. “Do you want children? I’d like three kids, doesn’t matter whether boys or girls. What about you?”
This question caused me to hesitate. “I want three children. I hope I can have children. I was pregnant when Randle was killed. The doctor had just told us our baby was a boy. Unfortunately, the devastation of Randle’s death caused me to miscarry three weeks later.”
“God, I’m so sorry Charlotte. If I had known, I wouldn’t have asked, I am so very sorry.”
“That’s okay, you didn’t know, and I’ve learned to push it to the back of my mind. Next question.”
“Okay, I need to ask you something that’s been on my mind. Why is your last name Howard and not Brewster? Did you and Randle never get married?”
I guess I knew that he would eventually ask this particular question. “It’s kind of a long story, okay?”
“Tell me as much as you feel comfortable with.”
Chapter Seventeen
I continued after a slight hesitation. “We met in College when I was a freshman and Randle was a senior. By the time I was a senior, four years later, we were engaged and planning a marriage in July after I graduated. I was twenty-one, and Randle was twenty-four when we married and moved into a small apartment in Nashville. Later we moved to Memphis. I used my degree in business to get a marketing position with Smith, Matlock and Brown. They had an office here and in Memphis. Randle had a degree in accounting, and he worked for his dad at Jimmy’s until I got the job in Memphis. He found a job with a small accounting firm there. We moved back to Nashville about two years later. Jimmy went back to work with his dad. I found out later, he was also doing some work on the side. We had an ideal marriage for the first four years. It was during this time we met you and you hit on me, you big boob!”
Charley Page 10