by Jamie Summer
“I can’t do that. I can try not to pester you with too many questions, but I can’t forget about it,” I told him. I saw him fighting an internal war. Part of me wanted to be privy to it, wanted to help him, but I pushed it down. I didn’t want to feel pity for him. I didn’t want to care.
“Okay.” His agreement irritated me, but I wasn’t going to question it. “Have you always been determined?”
The question came out of nowhere, but considering I’d refused to heed any of his warnings and went straight into the unknown, I didn’t blame him.
“I’ve always been that way, yes. My mom said I was strong-willed, even in the womb.” I laughed, then regretted it. “Sorry. I’m probably more than you bargained for.”
“No, it’s why I asked. I mean, not even the threat of death kept you away.” I flinched at his words. They hit a little too close to the reason I did this in the first place. “What’s so important you couldn’t let this go? There has to be something driving you.”
Pain burned in my chest and I tried to shake it off, failing miserably. The ache in my heart made my head fuzzy, and whenever I tried to think of something other than the loss within me, I couldn’t do it.
“Emlyn?” Nathan’s worried face popped up in front of me as he gently reached out and kept me from falling over.
“Sorry. I’m okay. It’s nothing,” I told him while my vision blurred around the edges. A lingering panic attack hid just under the surface.
“It’s gotta be something. This trip we’re going on… It must have a purpose. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be on it.”
I shook my head, wanting him to stop. They said time healed all wounds, but it seemed I felt another stab to my heart daily, as if just getting out of bed was a hardship. The past few weeks, I’d felt better, happier, more able to suppress what I wanted to leave behind.
“I can’t talk about it. How about we make a deal. I don’t ask any questions about this trip, and you don’t ask any about why I’m on it.” My voice left little room for discussion, so Nathan nodded.
We walked to the gate and found two seats by the window.
“Is this your first trip abroad?”
I glanced over at him, surprised at his attempt to make polite conversation. I had no idea what made him tick, even less why I allowed him to go on this trip with me. If he wanted to make small talk, I could humor him.
“No. My parents loved traveling, so we did it quite a lot when I was younger.”
“Where have you been?”
“Mostly Asia and South America,” I told him, remembering some of the incredible trips my family went on.
Our conversation moved on from there, and I found myself enjoying the easy way we talked. We avoided any heavy topics as we discussed our likes and dislikes, the places we visited, the things we’d seen.
Before long, we were called to board and took our respective seats. It was an eight-hour flight and I forgot my book, so I hoped they had good entertainment on board.
Nathan sat next to me, his own book in hand and already caught up in it. He barely took notice of me as I got out my headphones, settled in, and turned on the in-seat TV.
Here we go.
Chapter Six
It seemed like the flight was over before it even started. I got so lost in the entertainment, I felt like a kid on Christmas Day. I watched four movies, wanting to scream at the screen when the last movie stopped right in the middle. Just my luck.
“How did you sleep?” I asked Nathan as we deplaned. He had dozed off the minute we took off, his book slipping onto the floor, and part of me envied him for it. I had never been one of those people who could sleep anywhere. I needed a bed. Or at least something a little more comfortable than the seat of a car or airplane.
“Very well, thank you. Thought I’d get all the rest I could before our adventure started.” He sounded chipper, which irritated me. For someone who didn’t want us to be here, he sure looked rather happy about it.
We decided to get some coffee and food before catching our flight to Zurich. I’d tried everything to not dwell on my doubts, and the movies during the flight provided an excellent distraction. Now, though, everything came crashing back down on me.
I heard Nathan order some food, then something else, which snapped me out of my thoughts.
“What did you just order?”
“Weisswurst and Sauerkraut. Apparently, that’s what people eat in Germany,” he explained.
I arched a brow at him. “It sounds disgusting.” I looked at the guy behind the counter. “Can I have a cheeseburger with fries and a large chocolate shake, please?”
Nathan held up his hands. “Hey. I just wanted to broaden your horizons.” He focused on the kitchen, which was visible behind the counter, as I found some seats. Nathan joined me not too long after, food in hand.
“So, what’s your plan once we get to Lucerne?” he asked nonchalantly, but my heart rate sped up instantly.
I have no idea.
“You don’t know, do you?”
I shook my head, figuring a lie would be useless at this point. “I wanted to get there first and see how it goes before deciding anything else.” It sounded like a plausible explanation, but the way his brows furrowed made it clear he didn’t buy it for a second.
“Okay… Humor me. Do you have any idea what your game plan is?”
I took a bite from my cheeseburger in order to stall. I’d thought about the best course of action, but it sounded stupid, even to my own ears. So voicing my plan to him was something I wasn’t keen on doing. I didn’t want him to think I was idiotic.
“Emlyn?” he prompted. I took another bite. The cheeseburger was good. He sighed. “Okay, we could do this all day, but then we’d miss our connecting flight. I’ll just repeat the question until you’ve given me a satisfying answer. You’re not the only determined one here.”
I had the sudden urge to throw my burger at him. “Why are you being like that? What’s it to you? You don’t even want to be here in the first place.”
“Exactly. So I’d like to prepare for the nonsense you’re getting yourself into.”
“Nonsense? Weren’t you the one talking about life and death.” I put emphasis on the last three words, satisfied when I saw him wince.
It took him a few moments to compose himself. He focused on his food before his eyes darted to mine.
“Tell me. I’m here to help, despite your best efforts to shut me out. You’re right. I don’t want to be here, but I am. For you.”
His words tugged on my heart more than they should, and the softness around his eyes made me swallow. I wanted to hate him. I truly did.
But I couldn’t.
“I thought about visiting the sites the website talked about. Gwen, a friend of mine, said the hidden words on the website represented landmarks in Lucerne. Maybe there’s a clue about where to find the keyholder. And as far as my research showed, it should be doable within a day or two. Once we get the location of the keyholder, I’ll go there, get what I came for, then we can be on our way.” I kept my voice positive and not as intimidated as I felt on the inside. The mere thought of finding more clues about this mysterious keyholder made me want to run in the opposite direction. Yet the urge wasn’t strong enough to make me follow through.
“It’s a solid plan,” Nathan said, and I felt oddly proud of his praise. It wasn’t an overenthusiastic reaction, but it made me think it wasn’t destined to go completely wrong.
However, the way he avoided looking at me made me realize there was something he wasn’t saying. Again.
“You don’t think it’ll be that easy, do you?”
“It’s never that easy with things you really want, Emlyn. You should know that. You can’t just walk up somewhere and demand something, wave a magic wand, and have all your sorrows disappear. It doesn’t work like that.” There was a hint of fear, along with awe and frustration, in his voice. I had no idea what to do with that.
“Why don’t you tell
me how it works then?” I challenged, knowing I was breaking the deal we made a few hours ago. He arched his brow, but stayed quiet. “Anyway, you wanted to know what my plan was. There you go. If you have a better one, I’m all ears.”
Without saying anything, he grabbed his food and walked off, presumably to our gate. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe he simply wanted to get a head start. He wanted to get away from me and my probing.
What did he expect me to do? There were so many questions swirling in my mind, and he held answers to some of them. I was sure about that. Why wasn’t he willing to give them to me? Why hold back when they might be what saves me in the end?
Nathan Holwell was a mystery, much like the keyholder.
And I was determined to solve both.
Three hours later, we stepped foot on Swiss soil. I had printed out directions on how to get to Lucerne from Zurich, but we needed to ask someone how to get to the main train station. Once we found the train, we walked on.
After forty-five minutes, we disembarked to beautiful sunshine illuminating the mesmerizing city of Lucerne. The train station wasn’t anything fancy, but it was cute enough. There were six tracks and a handful of shops, and people strolled around, smiles on their faces.
We grabbed our luggage and started walking. Our hotel—Nathan had insisted I tell him where I’d be staying so he could book himself into the same hotel—was in the old part of town. It was simple without a lot of amenities, but I didn’t need any of that. All I required was a bed and a bathroom.
We reached the “Old Inn” and quickly checked in, took our stuff to our rooms, then met in the lobby again.
“Ready?” Nathan asked.
I hesitated for a second. I wasn’t sure I had thought this whole thing through, but we were here now.
“Yes.”
“Where to first?”
I pulled the notebook out that contained all the words and scanned it. We didn’t have a whole lot of time, so something close by would have to suffice for today. I checked the map on my phone. “I think the bridge is the closest.”
As we walked, I forced him to a stop at a coffee shop because I had begun to feel sluggish. It might only be shortly after midday in the States, but my body yelled for its caffeine fix.
With our to-go cups in hand, we were on our way to the famous Chapel Bridge. I’d read that it burned down at some point, but you wouldn’t know it from the beauty rising in front of me. The structure was made of strong, sturdy wood, which I felt under my shoes as I stepped onto the bridge. There was a wooden tunnel built around the structure, paintings and markings on both sides portraying its history. It was a fascinating thing to see. I was so captivated by the beauty, I almost forgot I had come here for a purpose, only remembering after I glanced at Nathan.
I had no idea what I was looking for. More hidden words? Different symbols? A box? It could be anything.
“Do you see anything?” Nathan asked.
“Sorry. I was reading the stuff on the sides. Hard to believe this bridge burned at some point.”
“It was a horrible thing.” I glanced at Nathan, eyebrows furrowed. “I mean, from what I’ve read, it sounds like the fire was horrific.”
It was probably just a slip.
We decided to walk around for another few minutes to check if we saw anything out of place.
“I don’t see anything. Wanna go to the next one?” Nathan asked. I nodded, taking out the notebook.
“Since the lake is right here, maybe we could check there next. I don’t know where to look, though. The lake is big, so I don’t feel like circling it,” I groaned.
A grin spread across Nathan’s face. “Well, maybe you don’t have to. You have the word bench written down, as well. I know it’s a long shot, but how about we check the benches by the lake first. There are a few along the boardwalk. Can’t hurt, can it?”
It was as good a suggestion as any, so we made our way past tourists and started to look at, under, and around the benches. I felt slightly stupid doing it, mostly due to the people giving us weird looks, but Nathan seemed unfazed.
“Anything?” he asked. I shook my head. I saw nothing but a normal wooden bench. No secret clue anywhere.
We went to the next one, then the one after that, until we came to the end of the boardwalk. “Okay, that was a dead end,” I concluded, watching the darkening horizon. “We don’t have much time before we won’t be able to see anymore.” I was pretty sure he could see that, but I felt it was important to notice. After all, we needed to decide where to go next before it was completely dark.
“The lion statue is over there, about a ten-minute walk. We can let that be our last thing for the day, then grab dinner. How about it?” Nathan suggested. My growling stomach was answer enough.
We quickly walked toward the statue. Despite the sunlight beginning to fade, there were more than enough people still around. It surprised me to see so many tourists and locals in such a small city.
Ten minutes later, just as Nathan had predicted, the illuminated lion statue came into view. The monument, a memorial to fallen Swiss soldiers, was impressive. I had looked at pictures online, but they didn’t do it justice at all.
“Fascinating, isn’t it? How someone can create something so simple, yet make it mean so much?” Nathan mused next to me. I gazed at him before turning back toward the stone structure.
“It’s sad that so many people had to die for it, though.”
“That’s the way life goes sometimes,” Nathan explained. I was taken aback by his answer. Was that what he really thought?
“Killing people isn’t the answer to conflict. Never is, never has been, and never will be.”
“That’s a naïve thought to have. Sometimes it’s a necessary evil. Do you think mass murderers should be allowed to live? Don’t you think death would be far more suitable for them?”
I stared at Nathan, letting his words replay in my head. I saw his point, but something about his words still rubbed me the wrong way.
“I think everybody should be punished for the crimes they commit. But it’s not a statement to make lightly. You can’t go around and say that every conflict should be solved with violence.” I felt a hint of anger accompanying my words.
“Maybe, but there are some conflicts where violence is the only answer.”
It was a bleak outlook on life, and I hoped we would never get into a situation where we had to make a decision like that.
Life or death.
“How about we search and see if we find any clues?” I suggested, feeling like this conversation was going to go downhill if we didn’t change the topic. I was still unsure what it was about his comment that left a sour taste in my mouth, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something about this was very wrong.
I pushed those wayward thoughts to the back of my mind as I stepped closer to the lion and looked around. As with the bridge and the benches by the lake, there was nothing unusual about the monument. Doubt started to nag in my mind. What if this was a fool’s errand? What if I traveled to Lucerne for nothing?
“Didn’t find anything. Again.”
There was no mistaking the slight frustration in Nathan’s voice, and I didn’t blame him. After all, we had just flown across the world. So far, all we had to show for it was a whole lot of nothing.
I sighed, deciding not to comment. Instead, I shrugged and walked around the statue one more time. My stomach was in desperate need of food, and I figured Nathan was probably starving, as well.
Ten minutes later, we left, my mood a little worse than I wanted it to be, and went to find something to eat.
We stumbled across an Italian restaurant and walked in, the hostess showing us to a table by the window. The view of the mountains and lake was amazing. I was so mesmerized, I didn’t hear the waiter ask for my drink order. Nathan must have told him something because he left shortly afterward.
“Sorry,” I apologized, but Nathan quickly waved it off.
“I
completely get it. It’s hard to get used to a view like that. Nothing quite as amazing as nature at its best.” He smiled.
“Our town doesn’t have a lake, or anything like it, so this is a rather nice change.”
“Did you not have any lakes where you grew up?”
“We did, thankfully. I loved spending time there. Usually with a book or my friends, depending on my mood.” He nodded, as if he knew exactly what I was talking about.
“We didn’t have a lake where I grew up. My parents…or, at least, my dad…were pretty strict and old-fashioned. Our path was determined the day we were born—taking over the family business. It didn’t allow for much free time. My brother and I were only able to go outside occasionally. When we did, we would usually hike through the nearby mountains. It had a calming effect, and we needed that quiet and peacefulness.”
His words were full of sadness and longing, and I couldn’t help but picture a young boy always wanting to get out of a house he apparently couldn’t wait to escape from.
“The mountains do that to you. I remember going on vacation and getting into the worst kind of trouble. My sister was a bad influence on me, and I think my parents knew that. We got into so much mischief.”
“Actually, it sounds like heaven,” Nathan remarked.
I smiled at him, glad for the memories. “It was. Some of my favorite moments happened when I was with her.” I stopped, feeling my throat clog up. I had no idea why I’d even started talking about it, but hearing about his parents made me want to share something good, something positive. And memories of my childhood were just that.
When the waiter came back with our drinks, I was surprised to see Nathan had ordered me an iced tea. That it was even available in Switzerland was interesting enough, but that he knew it was my favorite was a little disconcerting. I started to think that he knew way more about me than he should. I was a stranger to him…supposedly.
Yet I couldn’t deny the warmth settling into my stomach at the thoughtfulness. Part of me didn’t care how he knew. Just that he cared enough to make sure I felt comfortable in a different environment. Something so small, yet it soothed some of my worries that were constantly brimming under the surface.