by Jamie Summer
I wavered between hitting and hugging him. Neither of these emotions won out. Instead, I stared at him, unable to come up with an appropriate response.
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s all you have to say?” He sounded genuinely surprised, but I wasn’t sure what he expected.
“Yes, okay. This is all professional and we need to keep it that way. We wanna find the keyholder. That’s it,” I said, sounding sure and strong, not at all like the frail creature I was inside.
“Okay.” Nathan nodded, a smile on his lips. He looked happy with the outcome of this talk. And, honestly, so was I. At least him ignoring me would be over. I hated that more than anything else. We needed to work together, and that wouldn’t be possible if we kept walking on eggshells around one another.
We left the hotel and walked to the Thames River again. Despite having had a whole day planned yesterday, we barely managed to get through Hyde Park. Since the shooting at Buckingham Palace kept us from looking for any clues, we kept that on the list, but I’d asked Nathan to skip that for today and go back to the river. We’d pretty much covered everything else. The horses belonged to the palace, as did the queen. The word left was also on the list, but since people drove on the left, which we thought was what the clue meant, this was impossible to check out. After all, did they expect us to search every damn street in the city? Yeah, no. So the river was the only thing that might bring us closer to where we needed to go.
We decided to check the river along the places that were also on the list, such as the Tower Bridge and the London Eye. It was a weak attempt at making sense of the random items on the website, but it was as good a place as any to start.
It took us twenty minutes on the subway to get to the Tower Bridge, but since Nathan and I were back on speaking terms, we talked about all kinds of things on the way. It was fun, and despite a slight irritation, I wasn’t angry with him anymore. Mostly. I couldn’t help the fact my heart skipped a beat when he laughed or smiled. I wanted to turn it off, but couldn’t.
The Tower Bridge was as impressive as the first time, and we walked over the bridge, taking in the sights, as well as the people. There was a wide variety of locals and tourists, who were easily distinguishable by the cameras in their hands. The bank right off the bridge was where we would start, and Nathan and I agreed to take different routes to cover more ground.
A loud bang echoed through the air as I strolled along the river and I ducked. None of the pedestrians seemed scared or shocked at the noise. I glanced around, seeing a kid next to me had popped a balloon.
Sighing, realizing there was no immediate danger, I started walking. It would probably be like that for a while now. Every loud bang, no matter how harmless, would undoubtedly make me cower in the corner like a little child.
That was what happened when people shot at you.
I focused on my search and walked along the wall that sat between the river and the boardwalk. There were several writings on it, mostly done with a pen of some kind. The boardwalk itself was filled with colorful chalk drawings, no doubt done by kids. I studied the little horses, dogs, and cats they had drawn until my eyes caught sight of something that didn’t seem like anything a kid would do—a church.
I glanced around for Nathan and called out to him. He came from my left and stopped next to me.
“Find something?”
I pointed to the ground. “Does anything look out of place to you?” I could tell by the way his brows pinched together that he was concentrating hard.
“A church seems like a weird thing for a kid to draw, doesn’t it?” he concluded.
I nodded. “Exactly what I was thinking. A clue?”
He shrugged. “Could be. At this point, I’ll take anything.” I didn’t blame him. All we’d found in London so far was a gunfight. Not exactly what we’d been looking for. We’d been much more successful in Lucerne.
I got out my phone and took a picture of the church, then we continued on our way. Finding the chalk drawing gave me hope of this not being a complete waste of time.
When the next chalk drawing came into view, we instantly saw what was wrong with the picture.
“Another church. Maybe this is a clue after all,” I said, slight happiness filling me at the prospect of having found something. There were several more drawings, all containing a church. I took a picture of each one so we could compare them later. I had no doubt, though, that it was always the same church.
“This is a win, I’d say,” Nathan concluded after we’d reached the end of the riverbank. The London Eye loomed next to us. It was even more imposing at the bottom than when you were on the very top.
We decided to grab a quick bite to eat before continuing. There were still a few more miles to cover. And a whole other side, as well.
“What do you think church means?” I asked Nathan as we sat at a table in the restaurant. I hoped that with his somewhat inside knowledge of the keyholder, he had an idea why a church might be the next clue.
“I can only speculate at this point. If you think about it, a church doesn’t seem so far-fetched. A person who can bring back the dead sounds like something out of an urban legend, and religion always plays a big part in those.”
He had a point, but it didn’t bring us any closer to figuring out where the keyholder was. It could be any church in the world. It didn’t exactly narrow it down.
We finished our food quickly and left. I wasn’t looking where I was going and bumped into a guy walking out front.
“Sorry,” I apologized. He waved me off with a smile and continued on his way. “Let’s keep moving.”
We walked over to the boardwalk. It was crowded now as the afternoon approached. The sun peeked through the clouds and the promise of a few rays of sunshine seemed to draw more people out of their homes. We didn’t let the masses deter us as we hurried along.
Wanting to take tourist pictures, I reached into my jacket pocket for my phone, feeling something else.
“What the heck?” I stopped and pulled out a note.
“What is it?” Nathan looked over my shoulder. I hadn’t opened it yet, a strange foreboding feeling working through my body.
“I have no idea. I found this in my jacket pocket. And it definitely hadn’t been there before.” I turned to look at him, forgetting how close it would bring us. I had a sense of déjà vu, a similar situation happening just a few days prior.
Before it could get awkward, I stepped away, still looking at the note.
“Open it,” Nathan demanded. While I knew it was merely curiosity driving him, something in his tone made me want to do the opposite. Realizing I was being ridiculous, I opened the note.
You’re not worthy. You’ll never be worthy. This was only the beginning. If you’re scared now, wait and see what else we can do to you.
I had to admit it was a little of what I expected, yet so much of what I didn’t. I’d considered this to be another mysterious note, but while the first one was a warning, this was undoubtedly a promise. I didn’t want to see what else they had in store. Having been involved in what happened in front of Buckingham Palace was bad enough.
“What the heck?”
I jumped. I hadn’t noticed Nathan reading over my shoulder. A familiar warmth settled in my stomach, despite the contents of the note.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” I assured him and folded the note, putting it back into my pocket.
Nathan walked around me and stopped, his silver eyes piercing mine. He clenched his fists and took a deep breath before answering.
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean you have to handle it alone. You have to stop this, Emlyn. I don’t want to say I told you so, but I did mention before we left on this trip that I didn’t think it was a good idea…” He pointed to my pocket. “And exactly for that reason. The danger it would put you in.”
“And, as far as I remember, we agreed not to argue about this because you know where I stand. I won’t change my mind about i
t.”
Nathan sighed. “I know what I told you, but I think the terms have changed. We’ve been involved in a shooting. A shooting, for God’s sake! You could’ve easily died, especially after that stunt you pulled.”
“I wanted to help. There was no way I was going to sit around and watch you get killed. I couldn’t….” I stopped, a sudden rush of emotions coming over me. I had no idea where it came from, but knew the reason for it. The mere thought of Nathan getting killed, especially because of me, was something I couldn’t bear. “I couldn’t let that happen,” I croaked out and turned away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears that had formed in my eyes. I felt them threatening and did everything I could to keep them from falling.
“And I understand that, but you were outmanned and outgunned. Not a smart decision to go blazing in without a plan.”
I spun back toward him. “I had a plan,” I argued. He arched a brow. “I was working on one,” I amended. “What exactly where you thinking about when you ran through the bullets like a madman? You could’ve been killed just as easily.” Nathan didn’t answer, looking away. “Anyway, I’m gonna keep looking for clues. I feel like a broken record, but if you don’t want to continue, I’ll understand. You’ve had to endure more than you bargained for, so maybe you should consider going back home.”
He shook his head. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I won’t be going home without you.”
That sentence did weird things to my stomach, even though I was fully aware he hadn’t meant it the way I wanted him to.
Nathan didn’t argue as I suggested moving forward. We strolled along the boardwalk, seeing a few more pictures of the church drawn on it. When we reached the end, we crossed one of the many bridges connecting the two parts of London and continued our search on the other side. We had to leave the riverwalk a few times because it just stopped, but that was fine. It gave us a chance to enjoy the London people a bit more. As we got closer to the London Eye, we marveled at the architecture of Big Ben, as well as Parliament. Those buildings, with their old architecture, were unlike anything you’d see back home.
While I got us more coffee at one of the street vendors, Nathan walked ahead and searched the area.
“Emlyn!”
I quickly ran over to where Nathan stood, coffee in hand, careful not to spill the hot liquid.
“Did you find something?” I asked.
Instead of answering, he pointed at a glass case mounted to the wall separating the boardwalk from the Thames. I studied it closely.
Then I saw it. Like in Lucerne, there was a small sheet of paper stuck between the case and the wall. It looked worn, as if it’d been there for a long time. Its beige color had faded, making it hard to see because it blended in with the various grays of the stone. If I weren’t looking for something, I didn’t think I would have noticed it. I handed Nathan the two cups I held in my hands and reached out, pulling the piece of paper from behind the case.
“Careful,” Nathan said. I nodded. I waited for something to happen, but the case stayed right where it was.
We took a seat on a nearby bench, which was void of any other pedestrians. My hands shook slightly at the anticipation of possibly having found another clue, but I was equally terrified of what the note would entail. Maybe it was another threat, another promise of all the bad these people would send my way if I didn’t stop.
“Do you want me to open it?” Nathan softly asked, probably sensing my hesitation.
“No. I need to do this myself.”
Didn’t I just do the same thing hours earlier? I hoped this one would be a bit more helpful than the other one was.
I carefully unfolded the paper, Nathan leaning over to read it with me.
“Another website?” I asked, incredulous. Were they serious? How many of those were we supposed to chase?
“Looks like it,” Nathan agreed.
I pocketed the note with the other one. Two notes, yet they couldn’t be more different.
One promise, one possibility.
“Let’s finish up here and go out for dinner, okay?” Nathan suggested. I didn’t object, my stomach already grumbling again.
The rest of our walk didn’t bring us any other clues, but I had expected as much. After we’d found the note in Lucerne, there hadn’t been anything else.
We found a cute little Italian place in the city center and spent the better part of the evening there. Our conversation was light, and we stayed far away from anything related to the quest, our our non-existent relationship. The awkwardness from the day before was completely gone. Nathan’s easy-going personality was back, and I liked him way more that way. This Nathan was open and telling me all kinds of stories about his life.
“Do you like working with your mom?” I asked, realizing I’d failed to ask him that before.
“Since I help her with all the heavy lifting and administrative work, we don’t get in each other’s way a whole lot. I like that.”
“Administrative work? Seriously?” It was hard to imagine someone like Nathan working behind a desk. I was sure he did more of the heavy lifting than any computer work. The toned arms and chest spoke of hard labor. Hardly the kind of body you got while working with numbers.
“I’ve always loved math, so once I graduated college, she asked if it was something I’d be interested in. My mom’s amazing and helped me a lot when I was younger, so I guess part of me felt like I owed it to her.”
“Does that mean you don’t like the work?” I tilted my head.
“Quite the contrary. I might not have loved it in the beginning, but it’s been a great experience so far. It’s a wonderful thing to see my mom doing something she loves so much. The smile on her face when she finishes yet another bouquet is one of the best things I’ve ever seen.”
If I wasn’t absolutely set against it, that sentence alone would have made me fall in love with Nathan Holwell. While others might consider it a cheesy notion to talk about their mother the way he did, it was one of the most amazing things to me. Considering my own relationship with my parents was complicated right now, at best, hearing him talk so passionately about his mother soothed a part of my broken soul. It made me wish I could pick up the phone and call my mom.
But I couldn’t.
“That sounds amazing,” I eventually said, pulling myself from my own head.
“She’s a pretty amazing woman. Maybe you’ll meet her one day,” he said, making my heart beat a little faster at the prospect.
Deciding to ignore it, I fired more questions at him about working at a flower shop. He dutifully answered all of them. I wasn’t surprised to hear he had developed a love for flowers himself, even though he said he’d never have a passion like his mother. He also was a hopeless case when it came to creating bouquets, but he was a decent enough gardener, something I could appreciate because I sucked at it.
Before long, we left the restaurant and walked back to the hotel. As we stood in front of the elevator, there was a fleeting moment when I thought he’d do something reckless, like kiss me again, but it passed quickly. I started to realize that Nathan was good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to. It didn’t work all the time, but on more than one occasion, I’d found his face void of any emotion.
That short second where I thought I’d seen a hint of longing in his eyes must’ve been a crack in his armor. Or a figment of my imagination. After all, he told me there was nothing between the two of us. Nothing whatsoever. I shook my head and found Nathan’s gaze on me. The fire in his eyes was back again. My breath quickened as I tried my best to ignore him.
When we stepped into the elevator, I was acutely aware of the fact that he stood too close to me. It was big enough for ten people, yet Nathan chose to stand right next to me. I tried hard not to read too much into it, but I had two glasses of wine. While I was a long way from being drunk, I felt slightly emotional.
“Good night, Emlyn,” he whispered as we came to a stop.
It was
my floor, so I knew I should be walking out, but my feet were firmly planted on the floor. I didn’t want to move. Not when he was so close to me, his warm breath gliding along my neck. Not when his hand was a mere inch from mine. Not when my whole body screamed at me to let the door close again and keep going up to his floor.
“Emlyn, this is you.” Nathan stepped away, leaning against the back wall of the elevator. The sudden rush of cold penetrating my body was enough to clear my mind so I could focus.
I ignored the sting to my heart and the punch in my gut at his actions. He didn’t want me. Easy as that. He’d put distance between us when all I wanted was for him to come closer.
“Good night, Nathan,” I told him, head held high. I didn’t need him to see how he affected me. Or how I was having a hard time staying away from him.
I walked out, not turning back when I heard the doors close. He didn’t feel the way I did. I needed to get that through my head.
The last thing I needed was to fall in love with someone who clearly couldn’t care less.
Chapter Twelve
When I got back to my room, I closed the door with a little more force than necessary. After spending several minutes feeling sorry for myself, I decided I wouldn’t let something like a disinterested guy get me down. Hence the door slamming.
I hung up my jacket, then fell back onto the comfortable bed, pondering about staying exactly like that for the rest of the night. As much as I would’ve enjoyed it, I knew I had to take a shower before getting some well-deserved sleep.
With a groan, I stood and walked over to get my cell phone out of my jacket pocket. When I did, I felt the papers rustling and remembered the note with the website on it. Suddenly wide awake again, I told myself to take a shower first, then get on the computer.
Five minutes later, I was dried off and dressed in my comfy clothes. I took my laptop out of my backpack and sat at the desk. My sparse furnishings made me wish I were in Nathan’s room with its fancy dining room table and amazing view of the city.