by Tenaya Jayne
“Okay. I understand. You know where to find me when you’re ready to learn the extent of your abilities.” She stood and walked away. Her stride made absolutely no sound as she left.
Sneaky. He wouldn’t have believed it possible, but what she’d said distracted him. He turned her words around in his mind a few times, before the sorrow came back, cracking him over the head sharply.
He waited for nightfall before slinking back to the outskirts of the village. He saw no one outside of their homes. Light illuminated the windows. He was detached, a ghost floating through his past life, unable to touch any of it. He went home and peeked through the window. A crack in the curtains gave him a sliver of a view of them. They sat at the table, not speaking. He should just open the door and go in. Tell them what happened…there was a chance they might still love him anyway.
He shook himself. Yes, they would love him, but that wouldn’t stop them from killing him. That short future was unquestioningly worse. He would remain dead. They would remember him as he was. That was the only gift he could give them. He leaned against the back of the house and listened to them over the next hour. They talked very little before going to bed, and he couldn’t understand the words, but he committed the resonance of their voices to his heart.
The darkness matured. He wasn’t done stalking those he loved. He imagined Isolde would be asleep by now. He could climb through her window and kiss her one last time. As he approached her house, another shadow beat him there. Alex ducked behind the lean-to and held his breath, watching. The shadow now tapping lightly on her window was Troy. Rage boiled hot in his stomach at his best friend’s actions. What the hell did he think he was doing?
Isolde cracked the window for him. Shock slapped Alex. There was no evidence of grief on her face. No traces of shed tears. Her eyes were neither puffy nor bloodshot. She looked the same as always.
“Come on,” he whispered to her.
She smiled and closed the window. What was going on here? In a minute, she came out the back door. Hand and hand, they ran into the night. Alex followed them, unbelieving what he saw. They snuck to his house! The one he’d built for him and Isolde.
He crept up to the window and listened. Maybe there was a perfectly good excuse for this. They didn’t light any candles.
“How is this going to work?” Isolde asked quietly. “You said you had a plan.”
“I said I was working on a plan. Alex dying wasn’t a part of my plan but now that he’s dead...we can see each other more. It will be easier.”
“What about Joan? I’m not going to settle for just being your mistress. I have to consider my future and my standing in the community.”
Troy laughed. “No one will know about us. I’m going to work it out so this house is mine.”
“You have to marry me,” she demanded.
“You know I want nothing else, but how is that going to work?”
“I’m pregnant!”
“Is it mine?”
“Of course it is! Alex never touched me. I held him back.”
Alex pushed his back hard into the stone wall, both of his hands pressed tight over his mouth. He never knew betrayal could feel this way, like every one of his bones broke into slivers and entered into his veins, going straight to his heart. How could they? She’d made him believe she loved him. And Troy, they’d been best friends since they were boys. How could he seduce Isolde right under his nose?
“Don’t worry, Isolde. Just blame the baby on Alex. He’s not here to contradict you. Take the guilt off yourself. Tell people he forced himself on you. Because he was my best friend, I’ll make the case that I feel obligated to raise the child in his memory. We’ll be allowed to marry. I’ll talk to my father about releasing me from my betrothal to Joan.”
“Oh, Troy…”
They quit talking, and Alex could hear the rustling and breathing of passion beginning. Sorrow took a backseat to rage in that moment. He wasn’t going to listen to that, but he wasn’t going to allow the backstabbing villains to enjoy their tryst either. Now he knew why men often killed when they discovered their wives in bed with someone else. Oh, he wanted to kill them. He could. Everything inside him tunneled down to unrestrained dark places. This darkness was hot like the inside of an ember.
He strode away from the house, picked up a large rock, and threw it through the bedroom window. Isolde screamed in fright, and Troy yelled in alarm.
Alex sprinted away before he gave in to the revenge he craved. “I saw you!” he yelled at the house. “Whore!”
Burning like a blade in the forging fire, he left the village, never to return.
Chapter Four
Maggie poked a stick into the fire, letting her eyes slide out of focus. Alex would be back, she was sure of it, she just didn’t know when. How long would he stalk his past? Sighing, she threw the stick into the flames and rubbed her palm over the white stone on her necklace. Tears threatened as she felt the fracture through the stone. Was there any way she could mend it? She was honestly too scared to try. Her shoddy spell work was what had broken it to begin with. The magic of the stone still worked, she had to be content with that.
She had only one other stone from her homeland, and she would have crafted a new necklace out of it, if it weren’t for Alex. Not sure when or how, but she felt he would need the other stone more than she.
Warmth filled the necklace and it lit up. The light streamed through her fingers. She smiled to herself as she heard him coming back. That was faster than expected. He wasn’t walking leisurely, or running. He was marching, his footfalls heavy, eating up the ground he covered. She closed her eyes and searched out to catch the tenor of his emotions. He was in a murderous rage.
Maggie got up and went quickly into her house. She got her largest tankard off the shelf and filled it with ale. Placing her hand over the rim, she whispered a spell, power going into the liquid. He emerged out of the trees just as she came back out of the house.
Tears streamed over his flushed cheeks. His mouth held a hard line, and his hands glowed pale blue straight through the gloves he wore. His gorgeous, icy eyes locked onto hers, and through his burning raw emotions, she saw his plea for help.
She strode up to him and handed him the tankard. He took it without question and drank it down. Smoke poured from his nose and mouth. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, a rumble in his throat. His hands stopped glowing. He reached out and clasped her against him in a crushing hug. Surprised, she struggled to breathe and patted him on the back. His tears fell on her shoulder.
“How can anything hurt this much?” he asked.
“The measure of pain the heart can feel is infinite.”
“I need it to stop.”
“It will. In time. The drink will take the edge off.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. You better go lay down. That stuff will knock you out fast.”
He nodded and slumped off to the house. “I thought she loved me,” he mumbled. “I was…deceived.”
“Go to sleep. When you wake, you’ll begin a new life.”
He nodded again, pushed the door open, and vanished behind it.
He slept for two days. Since there was nowhere else for her to sleep, she spent the nights dozing in the chair in the corner. During the days, she snuck back and forth from the village, stealing. No, not stealing, gathering things she knew rightfully belonged to Alex. She hoped when he woke he would be pleased with what she’d done for him. It had been a good deal of work, but she really didn’t have anything else to do, and she was happy he’d returned.
Maggie knew when the effects of the spell she’d put in the ale would wear off. Knowing he’d be hungry, she made a vegetable soup, and a large loaf of bread. Right on cue, he emerged as soon as the bread was finished.
He rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his messy hair. He groaned and grimaced as he came toward her. She handed him a chunk of bread before he could ask, and then ladled the soup into a b
owl for him.
“Thank you,” he said thickly over his mouthful.
“You’re welcome. I made a lot, figured you’d finish it off without any trouble.”
Misery was deep set around his eyes, but he made the effort to smile a little at her. “I do eat a lot. My mother…” He paused and closed his eyes. “My mother always used to complain about it.”
“I don’t care how hungry you might be, I have to warn you, I don’t kill animals for food,” she said sternly. “And you won’t either, if you want to avoid my wrath.”
He frowned, but he looked like he was thinking. He touched the burn mark on his chest. Then he nodded. “They…animals, there is more to them than I used to know. I think. Is that why?”
“Many of them are my friends. Well, the warm-blooded ones. Cold blooded animals are not the same. They have life, but they do not carry a soul. Sometimes I kill fish to eat. There’s no personality there.”
“So, you can speak to animals?”
“I wouldn’t be able to have much of a friendship with them if I couldn’t.”
His eyes lit up. “Can you teach me to talk to them?”
She was happy at his response. “Perhaps. I’m willing to try and teach you. I’ll have to think about how I might go about that.”
When he finished his food, he looked for a long time at his hands. He rubbed them together and flexed his fingers. “I have to learn what I can do…how to control it. I feel the hunger of this power.” His shoulders slumped, and he hung his head. “I don’t know who I am…” His dejected demeanor shifted into sorrow and rage. “How could they have done that?”
“What are you saying?”
“My fiancée and my best friend…behind my back for I don’t know how long.”
“Oh…I’m sorry.”
“I thought she loved me.”
“Guess not.”
He looked up, hooking her with his furious gaze. “How could I have not known? How could I have believed such a lie for so long? Were there signs of the truth that I never noticed or just flat out ignored?”
“Signs of their actions?” she asked.
“No. Signs that her words were false. Signs that she really felt nothing for me.”
Maggie folded her hands and weighed her words before she said them. “I’m sure there were signs… Did you ever make her cry?”
“Cry? Why would I have made her cry?”
“Thoughtless words or actions. Did you ever see the evidence of hurt feelings? Did you see her grief at your funeral?”
“No,” he said slowly, going over his memories in his mind.
“Well, there it is. You couldn’t hurt her. She never gave you the power to hurt her.”
“I don’t understand you.”
Maggie smiled softly. She wasn’t surprised he didn’t get it. “Love is surrender. She never gave you her heart, thus you never had any power over her…if you can injure a woman by just a thoughtless word, she has surrendered her love to you. That is one of the proofs of love— pain.”
“I never wanted to hurt her.”
“Ah, yes. That is because you loved her. If she bleeds when pricked, that is the proof of her love. How you respond to causing the pain…that will be the proof of your love, or lack thereof.” Maggie blushed and shook herself. “At least that’s what my mum taught me. I myself have never been in love. But she knew all about love, more than she ever wanted to, and the pain and glory of it.”
“I’ve heard lots of things said about love, but never anything like that. And yet your words ring true to me. I won’t forget what you said…because I will never be deceived again.”
“You can’t know that, Alex.”
“That’s not my name.”
“Oh, right. Sorry, Blondie.”
He snorted and shook his head. “No. That’s not my name either. I don’t know my name yet.”
“Well, until you decide, it’s the one you’re getting.”
“It’s not just what Isolde did. I was deceived by my best friend, too.” His eyes lit up again. “I want to always be able to see the truth in everyone, in everything. You’ve already changed me magically. Can you give me that power as well?”
Maggie crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “I think I could manage that, but I won’t just yet.”
“Why not?”
“Not until you’ve gained control over the gift you have. Master that, then I will add to your ability. In fact, now that I’m thinking about it, this is a good request. Coupled with your current power, a bullshit detector will give you a good balance. You need to know the truth of things as a necromancer.”
He shuddered slightly.
“What’s with you?” she asked.
“My head is all wrong. I’m angry, and I’m thinking about everything in the wrong way because I’m angry. I shouldn’t learn to use magic. I should learn to repress it. But…”He flexed his hands. “I’m ashamed to admit this, it feels good. It hurts, too, at times. But since I’ve lost everything, I’d like to think it wasn’t all in vain. Maybe I could do something good with this evil power, but how do I practice without killing people or animals?”
“Learn to use your sight first. Focus on your eyes. Look at me. Can you see where my soul is inside me?”
His eyes roamed over her, searching. He scowled, frustrated and shook his head. “No, wait…I see…”
Maggie smiled as she watched him. The pale blue of his eyes sharpened, and his hands began to glow.
“Put your hands behind your back!” she ordered.
He blinked and looked down at his hands. “Whoa! Okay, that’s weird.”
She sighed in relief when he clasped his hands behind his back.
“I see a light inside you. It’s sort of orange in color and shapeless like a puff of smoke. It’s moving!”
Maggie laughed. “You’ll find most move around inside the body they inhabit. With practice you can choose to see or not see. Likewise, you can choose to take it from the body, leave it, or hold it captive.”
“What? I can hold a soul captive?”
“Yes. Easily. You can cage it, talk to it, and use it.”
“Use it how? What you’re saying sounds like slavery. Like I could be a slave master of souls.”
She nodded gravely. “You could be.”
His expression wrinkled like he’d just swallowed something sour. “I would never do that.”
Maggie pointed her finger at him. “Careful. The word never has terrible power to prove you a liar.”
His eyes flashed brightly, and his mouth set into a thin line. “I will never do that,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Ease up. I’m just telling you what your power will make you capable of, not what you will or should do with it. I will, however, give you this one solemn warning. Are you listening?”
“Yes.”
“Pulling a soul to yourself as someone dies, whether through sickness, old age, or in battle, is different than taking a soul from someone healthy. It is a line you should never cross. If you do, your power will go from a neutral place and become dark. Taking for taking’s sake, or vengeance, will push you through a door that will bolt behind you. Your power will twist your mind and turn you into a monster. There will be no redemption for you after that.”
He hung his head and exhaled raggedly. “Why not just kill me? What point is there to me? Will you promise to end me if I go that way?”
“I promise.”
“Will you be able to? Are you strong enough?”
Maggie half smiled. “I’m up to it, Blondie. Don’t worry. I hope it doesn’t come to that. I’ve made it sound more wild than it has to be. You make the right choices, your power will not run away with you. You will master control of it very quickly, if you set yourself to the task.”
He sighed and stood, bringing his hands back around and rubbing them together. The glow faded away. “All right, seeing was easy, but as soon as I saw your soul, my hands opened up and wanted to take it. My
palms feel hungry.”
“I expect they do. Put the gloves I gave you back on. I want you to take a stroll deeper into the forest and work on seeing the soul of every living creature you come across. Don’t give in to the pull in your hands. Just practice looking until you can see the soul immediately.”
“Then what?”
“Then come back. I’ll have a present for you when you return.”
He frowned. “A present? What for?”
She flipped her hair over her shoulder and began walking away. “Just another guilt offering. See you later.”
He watched her go into the house and close the door, feeling a bit lost and unsure about following her instructions. Maybe she wanted to turn him into a weapon. She was the one who’d created the spell to begin with. He decided to ask her that evening why she’d cast the spell in the first place. He thought about what he was going to do, and his hands began to buzz. He needed his gloves.
As if she could read his mind, the next second, Maggie opened the door and held out his coat and gloves. He walked over and took them from her hands, careful to not touch her.
“Thanks.”
She nodded and closed the door again. He walked away, shrugging on the coat. As he slipped his hands into the gloves, a terrible sorrow sighed inside his heart. Would he ever be able to touch someone again? His mind raced through all the ways humans touched one another. A helping hand to a stranger, a hug to the grieving, the caress of a lover…would he ever be able to do those things?
His hands buzzed harder, distracting him. Power was his mistress now, and he would learn how to please her.
The forest grew thick around him as he walked. Things lit up before his eyes as the cold shivered into his irises. He saw life thriving all around him in ways he never knew existed. Light and color in shades and levels he couldn’t name. Plants and trees held a steady illumination of color that was green, violet, and grey all at once. The few animals he saw startled and amazed him. The birds streaked through the sky, burning a trail behind them. The squirrels chasing each other blurred a vibrant reddish gold.