by ID Johnson
“Not scaring exactly,” I said, trying to relax. “Just… different than, say, my dad.”
He laughed but didn’t take his eyes off the road, which I was thankful for. “Don’t worry. I’m not driving nearly as fast as this vehicle is capable of going or my reflexes will allow. You’re perfectly safe.”
A few deep breaths and his words of reassurance had my shoulders coming down out of my ears. “Why is Christian like that?” I asked, thinking I could probably have phrased it more eloquently if I wasn’t distracted by the blurs out the window.
“I’m not sure how to answer that,” Jamie admitted. “He’s just an odd guy. The more you get to know him, the more you’ll see that’s how he is. But he’s harmless.”
“Good to know,” I said, turning my head to look out the window and then realizing my mistake and turning so that I was staring at the radio. I didn’t want to stare at Jamie, so I was kind of lost with where to avert my eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asked, clearly seeing I was uncomfortable.
“Fine, thanks.” I didn’t know what else to say. I had a million questions I could ask, but I wasn’t sure what he would agree to tell me before Grandma filled me in on everything.
“Your grandma has a pretty methodical way of explaining everything, so I think she’ll be able to answer a lot of your questions. She’s pretty particular about how she likes this sort of information to be handled.”
“So what about all the other people who Transform?” I asked. “They don’t all come to see my grandma do they?”
“Not all of them. More than you might think. Sometimes other family members fill them in. Sometimes we go and collect them, bring them in and explain everything. We have people at headquarters who are trained for this sort of conversation.”
“So why couldn’t one of them have told me while I was there?” I asked, settling my eyes on him now that we were having a conversation. It made the landscape flying by easier to ignore.
“Because your grandma wants to tell you.” It made sense, and that’s what I had assumed.
“I sort of feel like I probably already know a lot of what she’s going to tell me, though,” I muttered. “Not that I mind going to see her or hearing her out.”
“You might already know,” he agreed. “The way you learned about everything is a little different than she had imagined it would be.”
“How did you find out?”
“My parents told me when I was about six years old,” he said, switching lanes. At this rate, we’d be in Des Moines in less than half the time it usually took when my dad drove. “Back then, we had Leaders, but things were a lot less organized, and my uncle was sort of in charge of the area around Boston. I say uncle. I’m not exactly sure how many ‘greats’ should go in front of that term. Anyway, my parents decided it would be a good idea to let my sister and I in on everything when we were young.”
He stopped talking and I raised an eyebrow, wondering if he would continue. When he didn’t, I asked, “How did that work out for you?”
“Honestly? I was terrified of my own shadow for a long time. I couldn’t even walk past this alley down the street from our house without being afraid a Vampire was going to leap out and kill me. But in retrospect, it was probably a good thing I was pretty much always aware of this world. I never had to go through that process of realizing your family has been keeping the truth from you or that you only understand a bit of what’s going on around you.”
“Yeah, that really stinks,” I agreed. He took his eyes off the road long enough to give me a sympathetic smile. “So did you always want to be a Guardian, since you were six?”
“Uh, no,” he said quickly. “In fact, I wouldn’t have Transformed at all if it wasn’t for my sister. It’s hard to be angry at her now, but if she hadn’t gotten herself in a tangle with a Vampire, I would probably have lived a happy life as a surgeon and died eighty or so years ago.”
“That’s so crazy to think you’re that old,” I exclaimed before I really thought about what was coming out of my mouth. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“No, it’s fine. I know it takes some getting used to. I know I’m old. But I don’t feel old. I don’t look old.”
“You don’t smell old,” I offered, and that had him chuckling. “I’m just saying. Most old people have a distinct old person smell. I mean, I haven’t been sniffing you or anything, but if you did smell like an old person, I would’ve noticed.” I began to realize I sounded like a creep about halfway through all of that but he was still laughing, and I thought he saw my honesty as an attempt to be funny instead of trip down Ridiculous Lane.
“Thanks, Cass,” he finally said once I learned to shut up. “I can see why Elliott enjoyed hanging out with you so much.”
Now, that was a compliment, and I thought back to my nefarious plan to make Jamie my new confidant. Maybe it was working. “Did you guys drive from KC to Shenandoah?”
“We did.” I couldn’t see his eyes because of his glasses, but I got the idea it wasn’t a pleasant trip.
“Christian being weird?”
“Christian being Christian. It was fine.”
“Why didn’t you fly?”
He let out a sigh like I had pushed on a bruise. “There really wasn’t a plane available. Long story. I don’t mind driving. I even enjoy it, honestly, but Christian was being even more unusual than he generally is today.”
That begged the next question out of my mouth whether he intended for me to ask it or not. “Why is that?”
“I’m not sure,” he said quickly. “Probably because….” He stopped himself and fiddled with the radio for a moment which I hadn’t really been paying any attention to. I just noticed we were listening to a heavy metal station, though it wasn’t loud, and I was sort of surprised at that. He seemed more like a slow jazz kinda guy. “I’m not sure what you know about him already, so maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all.”
I thought for a moment and decided I probably already knew one of the reasons why Christian would be uncomfortable at our house. “Does it have to do with my sister? Christian liked her, didn’t he? Or does he still?”
Jamie exhaled in a way that let me know he was glad not to have to explain any of that to me. “I think he’s just having a little trouble with your sister’s engagement, so coming to her house probably wasn’t on his list of top ten things to do, even though she’s not even there, and he has to be around both of them at work on a daily basis.”
“Reasonable explanation,” I nodded. “But… he’s still kind of a weirdo, isn’t he?”
He didn’t answer me, but the smirk on his face told me that he didn’t disagree. I decided that was enough investigating for one drive and tried again to look out the window, but when that was stomach churning, I closed my eyes and tipped my head back against the seat, hoping that would keep the rollercoaster ride we were on from taking any sudden drops, and it seemed to help a little bit, but I didn’t know how much longer I could stand the sensation of spiraling out of control, especially when I already felt like that about the rest of my life.
Somehow, I must have dozed off, because what seemed like a few minutes later, I woke up to Jamie gently shaking my shoulder and realized the SUV was stopped in my grandma’s driveway. I sat up quickly, simultaneously wiping any drool that may have seeped out of my mouth on the back of my hand. Luckily, it was dry. Jamie switched from calling my name to laughing and jumped out of the car.
While I wasn’t exactly sure what was so funny, I felt like he was poking fun at me a little bit, so as I got out, I called to him, “You know, a good prom date would’ve come around and opened my door.”
“A better prom date wouldn’t have fallen asleep,” he countered, and I had nothing to say in response to that, so I kept my mouth quiet.
My grandma met us at the door, smiling and happy to see me as always. “There she is!” she gushed, hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. “You’re getting so tall, Cassidy.”
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��Hi Grandma Janette,” I replied kissing her on the cheek. I thought she looked a little bit shorter than the last time I saw her, a few weeks ago, but I hadn’t noticed I was getting any taller. I slipped past her as she hugged Jamie, too, and called him her favorite Healer.
The scent of freshly baked cookies filled the air, and I couldn’t help but stop and breathe them in. “That’s right. A fresh batch of chocolate chip just came out of the oven. We’ll chat for a bit, and then we’ll have some lunch and dessert!”
My grandma always had a plan, and the more I learned about her past, the more I realized why that might be. Her Queen Anne house was much too big for one little old woman, and now that I realized my dad hadn’t even actually grown up here, at least not full-time, I wondered why she wanted such a big house, but I supposed that wasn’t one of the more pressing of the questions I had.
I sat next to her on the sofa, and Jamie took a seat across the room from us as if he was there to offer support but not really to interfere. Grandma picked up an ancient photo album and sat down, placing it on her lap. “Well, Cassidy, you certainly know much more about the Ternion than I expected you to by the time we had this conversation. Most of the people I’ve spoken to have already started the Transformation process and are a bit older than you.”
“That’s okay, Grandma,” I assured her. “I can handle it. I’ll be sixteen in a few months. That’s almost old enough to Transform.”
She patted me on the knee as if to say “almost” wasn’t quite good enough. “Tell me what you know, darling,” she said, putting me on the spot.
It was hard to consider where to start, but I supposed she just meant in general terms, not about what my sister had been up to or anything. “Well, I know that there are Vampires, Hunters and Guardians,” I said.
“Oh, good. Then you already know about the three Passels. That’ll make it a little bit easier.” Grandma looked at Jamie who gave her a half-smile. I wondered if he had been hesitant to bring me there, like he might have to take the blame if Grandma got angry I already knew so much. “What do you know about each?”
Another difficult question. “I know that the Vampires are the bad guys. That they can kill Vampire Hunters, but not Guardians. I know that Guardians can only be killed by Hunters, and unless you use these new titanium bullets, only Vampires can kill Hunters, though now I guess that isn’t true anymore since Aaron killed Camilla.” That last part had been an assumption based on the way he’d told me Camilla was deceased. I looked at Jamie to see if he’d correct me, and when he didn’t, I was proud of myself for inferring that, but also upset that it was true.
“Boy, you know a lot!” Grandma interjected, looking at Jamie who only shrugged.
“I know that the headquarters in Kansas City and that you and Grandpa used to live there, but that he was killed by a Hunter.” I still needed the details on that. “I know that the Transformation process used to be painful and long, but now there’s a serum that can make it easier, although I’m not sure Cadence was being completely honest with me when she sort of glossed over hers, like it wasn’t a big deal.” I looked at Jamie when I said that, but he seemed awfully tight-lipped. “I’m not sure what else I know.”
“That’s a pretty good start, sweetheart,” Grandma said, and I suddenly felt like a pupil who had received a gold star. “Really, the only correction I want to make is that Vampires are not necessarily bad. They have a purpose. And while Vampire Hunters are meant to keep the balance, they are not allowed to completely wipe out all the Vampires from the face of the Earth.”
I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that. “What purpose do they serve?” I asked, thinking of nothing.
“Vampires are allowed to feed off of the underbelly of society for a reason, darling. So long as the lives they claim are of those who have or would do harm to others, it’s permissible for them to kill.”
I had not seen this coming. “So who decides whether or not they will do harm?”
“That’s tricky. Usually, we wait until a person has already done harm to deem them as fit for Vampire fodder.”
“And is just any transgression worthy of that label or do they have to have done something pretty bad?”
“Well, that’s up to the Guardian Leader, but generally speaking, murderers, rapists, drug addicts who steal or harm others to get their drug of choice, armed robbers, those sorts of people will make the list. Anyone who harms a child.”
“Do they have to be convicted in a courtroom?”
“No,” Grandma nodded. “Our ways of knowing who has done what are far superior to any judge or jury.”
“What ways are those?” I asked, still a little stunned.
“Well, as you know some Guardians have certain gifts. Jamie is a Healer, for example. Elliott was a gifted… illusionist, if you will. Some Guardians can read the emotions of others, which will give them an indication as to whether or not a person is guilty of a crime. So those who have not been convicted can still be judged under the right circumstances. When in doubt, a Vampire is not to attack.”
“Can a Vampire tell who is fair game and who is not?”
“Generally speaking, they should be able to. Vampires have telepathy that allows them to communicate. They also have a sort of sixth sense about people that let them know who is good and who is evil, for the most part. And those who come in to get their tracker installed as they are all meant to would have access to information and lists.”
“That all seems very complicated,” I said, shaking my head. “Trackers?”
“Yes. All new Vampires are required to come in and get a tracker installed.”
“And how do they know this?”
“Those that turn them are required to tell them.”
“And does that happen?”
“Compliant Vampires usually make sure their offspring come in, yes. But Compliant Vampires also only turn people who want to be turned. A Compliant Vampire taking out a criminal wouldn’t want to turn that person” my grandmother explained.
“So some people want to be Vampires?” I looked at Jamie and his expression said, “search me.” It was hard for me to believe anyone would want that life.
“Sure. It’s an opportunity to live forever if you make the right choices.” Grandma shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Okay,” I said, letting the idea go for a bit. “So about how many Vampires come in to get tracked?”
Grandma looked at Jamie, and I assumed that meant she had no idea. “Probably about ten to twenty percent,” he replied. “There are times when Compliants don’t know they’ve turned someone, so those people might not know to come in. Sometimes they don’t even realize they are a Vampire until it’s too late, and they’ve violated one of the rules.”
“Like, killed someone?” I asked incredulously.
“Precisely,” he said. “Sometimes we try to cut them a little slack, but most of the time, it’s easier to just end them.”
I thought about Jack. How had he felt when he realized what he was? I also remembered what Elliott told me about that probably not actually being the guy who dated my sister. “Do you think that’s not really the same person, once they’ve become a Vampire?”
“It’s hard to say,” Jamie replied, adjusting in his chair so he was leaning closer to me. “There are different theories. I honestly don’t know what I believe.”
“Well, I don’t think it’s the same person,” Grandma spoke up. “I think something happens to them, makes them different.”
It was a lot to take in, and I was glad I’d had a while to let most of this marinate. I wondered what it must’ve been like to be Cadence, finding all of this out at the same time. I wondered if she thought that was Jack.
“So… Guardians are meant to protect Vampire Hunters from Vampires, but they were also mean to protect Vampires from Vampire Hunters, if that sort of a situation should ever arise,” my Grandma continued.
“Has it ever?” I asked, having a h
ard time envisioning such a situation.
“Not that I know of, but should there ever come a time or place when Vampire Hunters choose to drive Vampires into extinction, they shall have to do it without the Guardians. They are not to kill Compliant Vampires.”
“But they could, couldn’t they? I mean, there’s nothing physically stopping them, right?”
“They can,” Grandma nodded. “It would set the whole world out of balance, though.”
“Can Vampires kill Guardians with titanium bullets?” I was looking at Jamie.
“Honestly, I have no idea,” he replied. “But we are testing that to find out.”
“Do you think they can?” I pushed on.
“Probably.”
I looked at my Grandma. “That could be a problem.”
“Aurora and Hannah have gone on a mission to stop any more titanium bullets from being exported, and we have a plan to close down production,” Jamie explained to me, as I continued to stare at my grandmother’s unwavering face.
She seemed to accept that answer, though I wasn’t sure I did. “Now, let me show you the album,” my grandma said, gently patting the cover. “I won’t show you the whole thing right now because it is too much. I haven’t even gone over it with your sister yet, but I want to show you the wedding photo of your grandfather and I.”
I patiently waited as she turned a few pages to an old black and white photograph of herself standing next to a younger looking version of the grandpa I’d seen in pictures, though he didn’t look that much younger than he had in the other photos. I’d always thought he looked strangely young for a grandpa, and of course, now I knew why. The photo looked like it was from the early to mid-19th century. “You’re beautiful, Grandma,” I said, staring at her with her hair in short curls around her face, a bouquet of flowers in her arms.
“Thank you. Your grandfather sure was a handsome feller, too. Boy, do I ever miss him.” I could hear the overwhelming sadness and longing in her voice. I had always known how much my grandparents loved each other, but I don’t think I had a true understanding of what it was like to lose someone you loved so intensely until recently, not that the way I felt about Elliott was romantic at all, but it was still the kind of love that made you miss a person when they’re gone, and knowing I’d never see him again made my heart ache even when I wasn’t thinking about him. I imagined that’s how Grandma must’ve felt every moment of every day since my grandpa was killed. As much as I wanted to know how that had come about, I knew I couldn’t ask her to relive it.