“Don’t say it, Don,” she said and laughed. “You know my age.” She turned to the baby. “Well, how are you, young man?”
Jay gave her a bubbly, wet, toothless smile.
“I think he’s beginning to teethe,” Don observed, wiping the baby’s drool away with a tissue.
“Let me bring in his things. Did the rental company deliver…”
“Everything came and is all set up. Not to worry,” she reassured him.
He brought in the supplies he had put together for Jay, as well as the car seat. He and Leanne talked a few minutes about their children, and Don said how much he regretted not being more closely involved in their present lives.
“That may change, Don. You never know, as the saying goes. Keep hope alive!”
“What else can I do?”
“Just be patient.”
* * *
As he drove to the airport he thought, How could I have been such a jackass? What I lost was unimaginable. Can I ever get it back?
Greene Airport in Providence was a user-friendly facility familiar to Don, and he had no difficulty finding a parking space to leave his car. He had a nonstop flight to the city of Brotherly Love and was relieved to be able to get a taxi to his hotel.
He hoped that the two days of the conference would be successful. If nothing else, it would remove him from the painful site of the horrible crisis in his personal life. One thing he knew for certain, the change would give him peace of mind, a feeling he needed. What was in Jay’s future? That bothered him the most as he realized, like it or not, he had already bonded with the child.
One thing he knew, he had to put a call in to Frank Jones. The lawyer would help him file for an annulment or divorce, and also help him with Jay’s adoption. He hated to think of it, but adoption seemed the only way out. There was no way he could care for a child.
As soon as he reached his hotel room, he put in a call to Leanne.
“Any problems?” He was very anxious about the burden he had placed on her.
“Are you kidding?” she laughed over the phone. “What a delightful child! He’s a pleasure to care for, so easy. We’re doing fine. Not to worry.”
“I’m going to give you the number here at the hotel. You do have my cell number, don’t you?”
“Don, don’t worry. All systems are go. Relax.”
“Good. I should be back Tuesday night. My plane lands at eight, so I should be back by nine.”
“Don, the child will be in bed asleep. You can plan to stay over. You can use Curtis’s room.”
“But won’t that be an imposition?”
“Not at all. As a matter of fact, I think it would be easier for everyone.”
* * *
He had no difficulty retrieving his car from the parking lot. Within minutes he was on his way to Leanne’s house.
She had left the driveway light on, as well as the front door light. And to his surprise, she opened the front door, almost, it seemed, the moment his foot hit the step.
“Let me show you where you’ll be staying, get you settled.” She led him upstairs to Curtis’s room, where he dropped his bag and then to Jane’s room nearest to hers, where the baby was sleeping. They both tiptoed into the room, checked to find him sleeping soundly.
“He’s always been a good sleeper,” Don whispered as they left the room. Leanne nodded in agreement.
“Here’s the bathroom,” she pointed out as they walked down the hall.
“Here is my master suite, at the end of the hall, but I can hear Jay quite easily if he starts to cry.”
“Just let me drop my jacket.”
Walking down to the kitchen, Leanne thought how unfazed she was by her ex-husband’s presence in the same house. But she also knew full well the marked change her life had undergone. What now? Where do I go from here?
She had two set glasses on a silver tray and was getting wine from the refrigerator when Don appeared. He had shed his jacket and tie, and his white shirt was open at the collar. He seemed relaxed and comfortable.
“This is a nice house.”
“I like it,” she said. “It’s just enough for me, especially with the kids away at school. It’s not too much for me to handle.”
“Good. And the kids, doin’ okay? I don’t hear much of anything from them. I understand why, of course, but I do care,” he said soberly.
“It’s been hard for them, but both are level-headed and have accepted the changes in their lives. I’m proud of them.”
“I am too, Leanne, and I know that you deserve all the credit for that.”
“All I did, Don, was to keep reminding them that you are their father and nothing can ever change that.”
“Wish I could…change things, that is.”
“Don, all we have, any one of us, is this moment. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here. So what we do with the moment we have, that’s what matters. I try not to dwell on the past, can’t change it, and I attempt to strive for a good future, with the help of the Lord.”
He tipped his glass in a salute to her.
“You always were a positive, practical thinker.”
“Works for me,” she smiled, returning his salute with her own glass of wine.
For a few moments each was quiet, sipping their wine.
Finally Leanne spoke.
“Your conference, was it successful?”
“It was. Some new modalities, new treatments that are being advanced, as well as promising methods of early diagnosis for Alzheimer’s were presented.”
“There does seem to be quite a bit of public funding for research. So all in all, it was a worthwhile session? I’m glad you could go.”
“Thanks, Leanne, for helping me.”
“It was a pleasure having such a sweet, lovable child in the house. What do you plan to do if his mother does give him up?”
“I have thought about putting him up for adoption…I don’t know. The strangest thing, Leanne, is even knowing that he is not my biological child, I’ve bonded with him. Was there when he was born, cut the cord. I do feel responsible for him.”
He poured a little more wine into his glass, questioning Leanne with raised eyebrows, asking her if she wanted a refill.
She shook her head.
“I can imagine how you feel, Don. It is in your nature to be a caring person. That’s why you’re such a good physician, why your patients love you.”
“Kind of you to say that.”
“It’s true.”
She watched him sipping his wine, remembering the many happy times they had shared at the day’s end with small talk and wine. Those had been happy, satisfying times, and she realized that despite the anguish and turmoil she had suffered, she wanted that time back. Don was the only man she had ever loved. There would never be another.
CHAPTER 33
“No need to go into it, Don. But I should say that if you gave off any warning signals, I totally missed them, and I regret that—if indeed that was the case. But after twenty-five years of a trouble-free marriage, at least from my viewpoint, I would have sworn in any court that I knew you better than anyone else on earth. But apparently I did not. That is why it came as such a shock and why it left me so devastated.”
“No, Leanne,” he said, “you are not guilty of anything—even indirectly. I am completely to blame here. I was the one who strayed, who allowed myself to be drawn into an action that I knew to be wrong, that I knew would have dire consequences if it were to come to light.”
Watching the expression of both shame and distress on his face, Leanne suddenly had no taste for anymore mea culpa and she waved her hand, indicating he should stop.
“Enough, Don. We both made mistakes…enough. It’s behind us now.” Then she changed the subject.”What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“I don’t know. So much upheaval in my life. Nothing, I guess.”
“Why don’t you and Jay come here? The kids will be here.”
“You think they
want to see me?”
“Why not?” she responded quickly. “As I’ve told them, you are the only father they will ever have. And I, for one, believe it’s high time we had some healing in this family!” She rose from her seat, saying, “The house is already locked up. Have a good night. See you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, Leanne. Thanks.”
“Goodnight, Don. Sleep well.”
“I will.”
He sat thinking how magnanimous Leanne had been to invite him and Jay to Thanksgiving dinner.
Going up the stairs to her bedroom, Leanne wondered if she had been foolish in offering an opening to a reconciliation. Her heart told her it was what she wanted, but her brain advised caution.
Going in her room, she thought back to their early years. Marriage, getting to really “know” one another, how Don always shaved in the morning in just his pajama bottoms. The way he’d acted the first time she told him he was going to be a father. The look on his face—disbelief, excitement—had thrilled her. He had dropped to his knees, his arms around her knees, his head pressed up against her body, hugging her fiercely.
“Oh, my God, Leanne,” he had said, “are you sure?”
“Don, of course I’m sure,” she had said, cradling his head in her hands. She had already checked with her doctor and he had confirmed what she had suspected.
* * *
Leanne was surprised by how much she missed little Jay. In the few nights that she had cared for him, something about him appealed to her. Maybe it was the knowing that his own mother didn’t want him and knowing he did not belong to the only male he saw daily in his young life. She thought back to the love and care she and Don had given to Curtis and Jane.
She recalled the pride she took in seeing them grow and develop into responsible young people. Would having Don and Jay at the holiday dinner table prove to be the beginning of getting her family back again? Or would it further divide them?
The next morning she took care of Jay, bathing and dressing him, feeding him his breakfast. Don took advantage of her help with the baby so he could shower, dress and take Jay’s belongings out to his car.
“You’ve done enough for me, Leanne, and I appreciate it. I’ll grab something to eat during my coffee break.”
“Not even a cup of coffee?”
“Thanks, I’ve imposed on your generosity enough.”
“Okay, but plan to come for Thanksgiving, Don. Please do it for me.”
* * *
Leanne had made up her mind that she wanted her family to be whole again, and she was determined to make that happen. Even if she failed, it was worth a try.
She had suggested that Don leave Jay’s crib, playpen and high chair at her house until later decisions had been made.
“They are not in the way, and when you come for Thanksgiving they will be here,” she had suggested.
So now she was about to “bite the bullet” and call Curtis.
“Hi, Curt, how are you?”
“Hi, Mom. I’m fine. What’s up?”
“Nothing much. I’m expecting you and Jane for Thanksgiving. And Bob, too. He’s not going out to California, is he?”
“No, he’s going for Christmas, to be with his folks.”
“I understand. Curtis, I have to ask you to do something for me.”
“Sure, Mom. What is it?”
“I know you will say no, but I’m going to ask you anyway.”
“Okay, tell me what you want.”
“Your father’s new wife has left him and the baby. He’s getting a divorce…”
“My God, Mom, you’re not going to take him back!”
“I don’t know about that, but I do want to invite him for Thanksgiving.”
“No way! No way!” Curtis’s voice was tight with anger. His mother heard it and was not surprised.
“Mom! You’ve been through enough. Look what he put us, put you, through! Total upheaval for the family, all for someone not worth your little finger! No, Mom, I am not going to sit down to eat a Thanksgiving dinner with that man!”
Leanne controlled her fury at her son’s outburst, although she understood his anger. She spoke slowly and calmly. “That man, as you call him, is your father. You carry his blood that you will someday pass on to your son, and all your ranting and raving will not change that! I know that you children have been hurt, as I have been, but we all, each one of us, has frailties, flaws, imperfections that influence our lives. Listen to yourself, Curt. And if you do, you will realize that your inability to forgive your father points to your own lack of empathy or sympathy to other people. I don’t want that to be a part of who you are.
“As a lawyer, you will be bound to deal with all kinds of human weaknesses. So I’m counting on you to put aside your feelings and come on Thanksgiving. I do understand. I do love you, Curtis. Please, for me, will you come?”
“You’re asking a lot, Mom, but I’ll come. I love you, too.”
“Thank you, son. This means a lot to me.”
When she called her daughter, Jane’s response was much like her brother’s. The same anger, ranting and raving about what Don had done to the family. However, she soon softened a little.
“I do miss Dad. Is he all right?”
When she told Jane that Don’s new wife had left him and the baby to help her father take care of her ailing mother, Jane answered, “Just as well that she was out of Dad’s life. Mother, since you’re doing the Thanksgiving thing, would you mind if I bring a friend?”
“Of course, Jane. You know that’s never a problem. Always happy…”
“Well, I’ve been dating this guy…kind of want you to check him out.”
“Honey, that sounds exciting. Be happy to have him, what’s his name?”
“Sam, Sam Adams. He’s from Montreal.”
“I’ll be very happy to meet him. Curtis is bringing his roommate, Bob Sato, along. And, Janey, I have to tell you that your father is hurting about what’s happened. Please, don’t be judgmental. Remember, he’s your father, and despite everything he loves you kids, misses you so much.”
Jane said something about her mother not taking Don back.
“Jane,” Leanne retorted, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but it will be my decision, won’t it?”
CHAPTER 34
Frank Jones reached Don at his office in the medical building.
“Don,” he asked, “have you heard from Alisha?”
“She called a few days ago. Her mother did not survive. The services have been held and she plans to remain in Pittsburgh to care for her father.”
“So she is not contesting the divorce?”
“That’s what she says, and also that she does not want custody of Jay.”
“I have received a sworn statement from her lawyer that addresses those issues. When you can find the time, Don, try to come in so we can start the process.”
“Thanks so much, Frank.”
Don checked his calendar as soon as he hung up the telephone. He noted that his patient load was light on Thursday and that there were a few patients that could be rescheduled. He really wanted the whole afternoon clear to consult with his lawyer.
He wondered if he should ask Frank about the feasibility of an annulment, as opposed to a no-fault divorce. He had not informed his staff about his personal situation, although they knew his wife was out of town and that Jay was in day care.
He did inform Becky that he would not be in the office Thursday afternoon, that the staff could have the afternoon free. He asked her to reschedule those patients involved.
On Thursday, Don had a quick lunch and was in Frank’s office at one o’clock, the appointed time.
“Don, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve cleared my calendar so we will have plenty of time to discuss your issues.”
“Great! I’m anxious to get started.”
“I know. There are several things to consider. First, even though the DNA test proves you are not the biological father, your name is
on the baby’s birth certificate as the legal father.
“As for your marriage, it may be deemed to be fraudulent because your wife misled you, lied about the child being yours when she knew she had used a sperm donor.
“Now, if you divorce her, she has declared that she does not wish custody of the child. But still, you can sue her for child support if you choose.”
“God, no, Frank! I do not want to have anything, nothing at all to do with that woman! Never! No!”
Noting his client’s agitation, Frank responded, “Man, take it easy.”
“Just thinking about her upsets me. No, I can support Jay if I have to. Be no problem, none at all.”
“Good. I need you to sign some papers stipulating a no-fault divorce on the grounds of incompatibility or irreconcilable differences. I will be forwarding copies of these to her lawyer as well.”
“Frank, how long will this take? To get the divorce, I mean?”
“Once the decree is handed down, you have to wait sixty days for it to be final.”
“Can’t come too soon for me.”
“How are you managing to take care of the child, Don?”
“It’s hard because I have to meet his every need. But he is a pleasant, amiable child. As long as he’s fed and clothed, kept clean, he responds to me with a happy grin.”
“Think he misses Alisha?”
“Don’t know, he doesn’t seem to be looking for her, so I don’t really know. You know, Frank, when I had to go out of town to a medical meeting, my ex-wife babysat Jay. She said he was the easiest child she had ever taken care of.”
“Wonderful. Must have made you feel good.”
“It did. We talked some about our differences. I have many, many regrets over my despicable behavior, I have to tell you, but incredibly Leanne said, ‘I try not to dwell on the past.’ She seems willing to forgive, not that I deserve one iota of forgiveness for what I have done to her and my children. Believe it or not, Frank, she invited me and the baby to Thanksgiving dinner. I expect to have some tense, anxious moments when I face Curtis and Jane. I’m very anxious to know how we will make out.”
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