by Silver, Ruth
The flight was short. When we arrived back in Spade, Henry, Rane, Elsa, Cate, Adian, Gavin and Adelaide waited for us. It felt like a reunion. Climbing out I barely got my feet on the ground when Adelaide threw her arms around me, causing me to stumble a few steps backwards. “You smell,” her face scrunched with a laugh, but she didn't lessen her hold.
“Sorry, I haven't showered in… quite a while,” I admitted.
Joshua found my hand as we walked alongside together towards the towers. I promised the others I'd join them for dinner shortly, as soon as I cleaned up and we all could talk when I was done. Joshua led me towards our room, the silence deafening.
“Do you want me to…”
“What?” I asked not hearing his thoughts or knowing what he was thinking. I stepped into the bedroom as Joshua stood out in the hall. “You can come in. It's your room, too.”
He closed the door behind us. “I just thought you might want some time alone,” he offered.
“I've had enough time alone for a century,” I sighed. I stripped down and turned the water on, not caring that he was staring at me. “Just, stay in here?” I asked him. I sounded foolish, childlike. It wasn't that I was scared. I was concerned that I'd wake up and be back on the trail, searching for home. Being locked in a prison didn't scare me. It wasn't fun but I knew where I was. I recognized what was real.
I stepped into the shower, closed the curtain behind me. I could hear Joshua on the other side and it brought a smile to my lips. “I missed you, Olive.”
“I missed you, too,” I breathed, dipping my head back, the water turning black at my feet as it dribbled down. “How's Henry? I mean I saw him, but is everyone holding up okay since Isaura is dead?”
I could hear Joshua over the spray of water raining down on me. “Everyone couldn't be happier.” I reached for the shampoo, lathering it on before rinsing it away. “I still don't think he believes that he has any control over the land south of here to Haven. I've tried convincing him,” Joshua sighed heavily. “But he insists that isn't his territory or his intention.”
I rinsed the dirt away as best I could. I lathered my hair a second time seeing more dirt circling down the drain but not nearly as much. “You sound upset.” I wanted to look at him but kept my eyes shut as I rinsed the suds from my hair.
Joshua let out another sigh. “I wanted guards at Haven. I suspected you'd show there first, but Henry thought it was a waste of time and talent. Not that I blame him. It did take you thirty-one days to get home.”
“That's how long I was gone?” I had lost track of time. After rinsing the shampoo I soaped my body, digging the dirt out of my nails and from every crevice of my skin. It seemed a near impossible task. I turned the water warmer feeling it grow cool after some time. I paid little attention to how long I'd been showering. I wanted to get clean, to scrub everything off of me. Even that which couldn't be washed away.
“I thought you weren't coming back,” Joshua admitted. “That they took your bracelet away or worse…” He didn't finish the sentence. I shut the water off and pulled back the curtain. Joshua handed me a towel and I wrapped it around myself before stepping from the shower stall.
“I'm here. I'm okay.” I smiled. “I rode a horse up to Haven. Not the fastest way but better than on foot.” I sighed, drying myself off before walking into our bedroom to find a wardrobe with new dresses. “What are these?” I asked turning around to face him. The towel stayed tied around my chest, keeping me warm as I saw dozens of new outfits lining the closet.
“A gift,” Joshua admitted. “The women have been bringing thank you gifts for ending Isaura's reign. Some have been dresses, some shoes. There's been gifts for Adelaide too since they know how important she is to you.”
“That's nice.” I didn't know what to say, to think. “It's too much.” I shook my head, taking a few steps backwards towards the bed. It caught me as I sat down.
“I can return the dresses or donate them to other families?” Joshua offered.
I didn't want to seem ungrateful. “It's not that I don't love them,” I tried explaining. “I just, I can't live up to the expectations they’ve set for me. I'm not a saint, Joshua. I murdered a woman.”
“Isaura,” he answered. “And she was a horrible person. She would have killed you if you'd given her the chance. Hell, she tried! I saw her try! You can't feel guilty about what you did. You saved countless women and I know she did make amazing scientific discoveries but the cost was too great. She needed to be stopped.” Joshua moved to sit down beside me on the bed. “No one thinks you're a saint,” he grinned, nudging me. “But believe me, they all feel this world is a little safer because you're in it.”
I didn't know what to say to that. I understood that Isaura needed to be stopped and I'd done it. I didn't feel guilty per se for what I'd done, instead I felt undeserving of such lavish gifts. I stood, walking towards the closet. My fingers moved over the new attire pulling a blue and white paisley dress that hugged my body down to my knees. “I'll wear this tonight.” I beamed knowing it was a gift from Raven. I'd seen it on her once before and was more than happy with hand-me-down gifts. I turned my back to Joshua, slipping the dress on along with undergarments. “Help me out, please.” I gestured towards the zipper in the back. I felt his presence behind me before he even answered.
“Of course,” he whispered. His fingers grazed my skin as he slid the zipper towards the top of the dress, securing it into place. “You look, amazing.” He smiled, as I turned around finding my arms around his neck. I leaned closer, my forehead coming to rest against his. “I really did miss you,” he whispered
“I'm right here,” I assured him, kissing, my fingers moving through his hair and to the back of his neck. “I love you,” I whispered smiling as I felt his hands holding me tight against him.
“I love you too,” he breathed into my ear kissing my neck. “I know now isn't the time to talk about it but I want to start trying. You and me.”
My stomach flopped as his hands moved across my abdomen and his kisses rested just above my cleavage. He pulled back slightly staring at my ghastly expression. “I don't think I can, Josh.” My bottom lip trembled as I reached for his hand. “When I went back they gave me the vaccine.”
“What?” he asked, shaking his head, dumbfounded.
“I was exposed. Isaura wanted me to die there with her. She brought me in with the rotting corpses.” I grimaced, remembering the awful smell of decomposing flesh. “They gave me the vaccine to protect me. It's okay,” I assured Joshua. “It's not like we ever knew for certain I was like my mother.” I leaned in, kissing him softly. “I know you're disappointed but at least we're alive.” I squeezed his hand. “You and me, we can work the rest out, right?” I had to hold onto hope that this wouldn't devastate him. It was upsetting to know the choice had been taken away but what choice was death?
Joshua pulled me tight. “Of course. You're all that matters to me in this world.” I felt his kisses on my neck and a slight wetness as I ran my fingers through his hair.
“We can skip dinner if you want?” He was upset. I didn't want him to be thinking about this all night in front of the others while we ate.
“No.” Joshua took a tentative step back and emitted a heavy sigh. He quickly regained his composure. Though his eyes looked moistened and his cheeks were red, the tears vanished. “You need to eat.” He kissed my cheek. “There's always hope,” he whispered taking my hand as he led me out of our room and down to the dining room. “Don't give up hope, Olive. Don't ever give up hope.”
“I won't,” I promised, kissing his cheek as we headed into the dining room together seeing all the familiar faces. I hugged everyone before finding my seat at the table, glad to be back in Spade and home.
Once seated at the table, Henry held up his glass of wine. “I'd like to make an announcement. We all know that the women rescued from Torv have been successfully bearing children.” A soft murmur erupted through the table and quieted as he began
speaking again. “Over these last few months, Rane and I have been trying to conceive a child.” I glanced at Rane curiously.
“Yes, I'm pregnant!” Rane exclaimed with a laugh. “Though not solely from Henry.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, trying my best not to laugh. Had she been sleeping around with other men? It didn't sound like Rane, but I'd been gone awhile and I hadn't known Rane all that well. I glanced at Joshua hoping Rane hadn't come onto him.
Henry continued ignoring my interruption. “Although Isaura was horribly misguided in her ways, Elsa was able to replicate what was inside the vials. Rane was the first volunteer who offered to undergo the fertility treatment. One injection twice a week continuously for one month and we were able to replicate the process.”
I shot a look at Elsa. “I thought you didn't know what was in the vial?”
Elsa chewed her bottom lip. “I wasn't one hundred percent certain I could replicate what Isaura had in her lab. However, one of the women we brought into Spade is a scientist and was able to help us create our own fertility treatment. It's almost identical to what Isaura used but of course we're doing it with permission.”
“So it uses Mindonsiphan?” I asked. Was the entire world going to be like me?
“It's the combination that makes it work. Our entire town already is showing some effects from the treatment,” Elsa responded.
“Like what?” I asked.
Adelaide grinned. “I'm not the only one who can make butterflies.” She put her hands together and then opened them, letting a blue and purple butterfly free. It fluttered around her head before rising higher and flying away.
Joshua rested a hand on my arm. “It's okay. Ordinary is changing. Most kids in her class can't do the things she can but soon all the children being born will be able to.”
“Are you sure?” I questioned. “It's genetic?”
“It's too soon with the new mothers to know for certain.” Elsa sighed. “But we think it will be and if not, at least we know what to do to make future generations capable of conceiving naturally. No more lotteries. No more babies born in labs.”
“That reminds me.” I glanced at Joshua, wishing I'd have saved the scrap of paper that had Adelaide's birth record and her parents’ names on it. I'd shoved it into my pocket but in the past month it had vanished. “There are birth records for the past ten years in Torv.”
Elsa shrugged, not surprised by the news. “That makes sense, Olivia. They were running their own program trying to help women conceive.”
“No,” I frowned. “These were records from the different towns of Genesis. Ten years’ worth in Fabian's office.”
Rane spoke up, “What do you think it means?”
Adelaide's eyes widened. “I'm younger than ten years old! Did you find something about me?” She was smart.
My eyes met Joshua's. “We did.” I wouldn't lie to her.
“Before you worry her,” Joshua interrupted me, “I did some digging.”
“What?” I didn't understand. What was he talking about?
“Research, Olive.” Joshua clarified. “I remembered Adelaide's biological parents’ names. I've spent some time looking through records in Spade. There's obviously not enough information but I think I may have found Adelaide's grandmother.”
Henry's eyes widened with excitement. “Who is it?”
“Ainsley.”
“How can that be?” I laughed. It seemed unlikely. “Are you sure?” It was good news, especially since Adelaide was going to be moving in with Ainsley soon.
“Well not one hundred percent certain,” Joshua admitted. “I had to trace back family names and ancestors. The problem is not all the information is in our records but Elsa can run a DNA test if we want to be certain. Honestly, I don't think it matters. Blood related or not, we've found a wonderful home for Adelaide. It may offer some answers for their own personal benefit but we know Ainsley would make a fantastic mother. We've seen how she is with Adelaide.”
“I like Ainsley,” Adelaide smiled. “Could she really be my grandmother?”
Joshua reached over, giving Adelaide a hug. “She might be.”
I felt the biggest smile reach my lips. My eyes landed on Rane. “You're pregnant?” It was huge news.
“Within a few days of the final treatment Henry and I conceived a child together.” Rane smiled warmly reaching for his hand.
Henry beamed, “Friday we will be announcing our engagement with a party. We'd like everyone to attend.”
“Are there are any more fertility treatments available?” I asked wasting no time in beating around the bush.
Rane gave me a peculiar look as did Henry. “We are seeking out volunteers, but why are you asking?”
I let out a heavy breath. “It's a long story.” I glanced beside me at Joshua reaching out for his hand. “While in Torv, I came into contact with the Red Plague and had to be administered the vaccine.”
“The Red Plague?” Gavin's eyes widened. “Are you sick?” Was he worried about me or concerned about a second wiping out of society?
“I'm fine,” I assured them, having a sip of wine. “I'm concerned with the effects of the vaccine.” I didn't have to state the obvious: I was afraid I was like everyone else had been, unable to conceive. I chewed my lower lip anxiously. “All I can think is that my mother, well her family hadn't been vaccinated.”
“That's impossible.” Henry frowned. “Everyone during the Plague was vaccinated. It was the law.”
“Let's just say things aren't what you thought back then.” I glanced at Joshua, giving the faintest of smiles. “There were rebels who evaded the government. Most probably did get vaccinated and those who didn't likely died. It's possible a few survived and their genetic offspring didn't suffer the same consequences those who had been given the vaccine had,” I explained. “It's likely my mother's parents or grandparents for that matter were part of the small band of rebels who evaded vaccination.”
“But why?” Henry asked shaking his head.
“They were suspicious of the government. They believed there were side effects of the drug but they couldn't prove it.” I sighed. “It doesn't matter. What matters now is that I'm no longer capable of conceiving a child.”
Rane frowned. “As far as you know you are, but maybe you're wrong.” She was being the optimist. “Maybe you can conceive a child as you've always been able to. Whatever made you special could be bigger than some stupid rebels avoiding vaccination.” I smiled: she wanted to make me special, make me greater than I was. I appreciated the thought but I was just me.
Henry glanced from Joshua back to me. “You're volunteering for the fertility treatments?”
I sighed. “I hoped a doctor could give me a definitive answer if I could conceive and if not, yes I'd like to sign up.” I was likely being selfish. Women in Spade and all across the world had wanted children their whole lives and known they couldn't have them. Here I was, taking the first chance at putting myself before others. Maybe I was selfish or stupid. It was still experimental, it could potentially kill me. One test subject wasn't enough to consider something a success. I didn't care though, I needed hope.
Gavin interrupted, “Are you sure, Olivia? It's risky.”
“I understand the risks.” I glanced at Joshua hoping he was in agreement with me. After all, he was the one who wanted a child more than I ever had. If it were up to me I'd have gone my entire life not wanting children, deciding not to have them but the moment I couldn't have them, something changed. The choice having been taken away made me desire it more than I had. That and making Joshua happy.
Joshua squeezed my hand. “You don't have to do this for me.” He stared at me and I glanced over seeing the adoring look in his eyes telling me I didn't need to do it, but he wanted me to. I could see right through him.
“I know: I'm doing it for me,” I assured him. “Besides, when everyone finds out I'm like the rest of the world then at least no one will be after me. When I lead them
one by one into fertility treatments and we become alike, ingrained together then I will be one of them.”
Henry glanced at Elsa. “Can you arrange to see if Olivia is a viable candidate for the study on Monday?”
Elsa agreed, “I'll have her come into the lab and we'll run a few tests.”
I hated that they were talking around me, like I wasn't in the room. At least what they were saying wasn't bad; they were trying to help me.
Henry glanced back at me once again. “There was one more thing I'd like to discuss but please everyone, eat!” We clanked glasses and I hungrily ate everything in sight. Henry sat across from me with Rane beside him. He glanced at me. “I was hoping we could discuss the matter with Torv. Joshua explained to me that we now own the land south to Haven?”
I nodded between bites of dinner. “Yes, that's correct.” I tried to eat as politely as I could without making a mess, but I was starving. “I cut a deal with The Republic of Cabal and declared Spade a country. I made them recognize Haven as our land.”
“Our land,” he repeated again thinking it over. He glanced at Joshua. “When you went to retrieve Olivia down south, was there any threat down in Haven?”
Joshua glanced at me. “Yes. I saw two soldiers from Torv. Both were searching presumably for Olivia.”
“Did they cross into Haven?” Henry asked.
“Yes, Henry. They did.” I remembered being forced to use a glamour to conceal where I'd been hiding. What was he getting at?
Henry glanced at Gavin. “Do you think we can arrange to set up towers at the southernmost tip of Haven? I'd like a lookout point to know if the enemy tries to invade.”
“I don't think they will,” I mused, finishing my plate. “It's not that they're afraid of losing,” I acknowledged. “They just don't see the benefit of war right now. Besides their own country is a mess. They know as much after what Isaura's done. They're trying to clean up the pieces. For a while they’ll leave us alone.”
Henry sipped his wine. “That's what I'm worried about. Awhile,” he admitted. “We should fortify our land. We need to make them aware that if our borders reach Haven, so do our men.”