“I can’t do this,” he murmured, then released the girl and staggered back a step. She didn’t move and neither did he. The lust between his legs faded as he thought back to those many terrified nights he had spent as a child. Nights praying that his brother would not come in to visit with him, and the revolting horror of Larry’s large body holding him down, holding his butt cheeks open. He remembered the shame he felt for days after, as he bled every time he defecated. The memories broke him free of his violent stupor.
“I-I’m sorry,” he whispered to the girl, who was still hiding her face against the wall, her small white bottom poking out from her mussed up skirt. “I have to go.”
Francis felt nothing for the girl, only confusion. He stumbled down the steps and out of the bakery, his legs moving in stiff jerks as he walked. What have I become? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he was filled with a burning, empty hate and it was consuming him.
*****
Delia and Alice tried to avoid the mummy soldier as much as they could. It was difficult because his dressings needed to be changed, his catheter had to be cleaned and reinserted on occasion, and he required a bedpan. The most high-maintenance patient they had was the one they trusted the least.
Ever since the incident with Alice, which had yet to be explained since the soldier’s jaw was wired shut and he refused to write, even when MP officers forced a pen and pad of paper into his hands. Consequently the army had stationed a protective detail of three soldiers at the hospital. The soldiers took shifts pacing the interior and perimeter of the hospital. And at all times there was one stone-faced soldier that sat or stood in the ward that housed the “mummy.”
The ward was no longer a neutral environment for Delia – no longer someplace she could simply work. Whenever the mummy soldier was awake, a dark rushing of angry whispers filled her head. It was very stressful for her, because she was always in a state of heightened anxiety.
“He is filled with so much hate,” she told Alice.
“But why is it directed at you and me?”
“I don’t know if it is, I think he may be angry at everyone. I just don’t know. He scares me.”
Alice nodded her agreement. “The doctor told me yesterday that they may be able to remove the wiring in his jaw soon.”
“Good. Then we’ll be able to ask him what his problem is.” Delia and Alice stood shoulder to shoulder at the head of the hospital ward.
The morning sun shone through the windows and tried to brighten the mood for the rows of injured men. Delia’s gaze drifted toward the back, where the mummy soldier was sleeping. He had been here for six weeks now. Delia longed to be rid of him. This made her feel guilty, as if she was somehow betraying her position as someone that helped and healed these poor men.
“There’s definitely something wrong with him.”
“Yes, besides his injuries. The hatred within him is deep and strong. I’ve never felt such a constant anger.”
Alice squeezed her hand gently.
“I’m sorry you have to feel that all the time.”
Delia smiled softly at her. “Me too. I feel like I need to know why. We have done nothing to this man…” Delia’s voice trailed off on the last word. There was something else rushing through her head now. It was not the whispers. It was a thought and a fear.
“Dee, are you all right? Your face just went ghost white.”
Delia turned slowly to Alice. She looked at her with tears welling up in her eyes.
“Delia, my God, tell me! What is it?”
Delia did not want to say. The thought was so fresh in her head that it had not even formed itself into words yet. Her breathing quickened a little. She strode across the ward to where the mummy slept. She flipped through his chart to the page that listed the personal effects transferred over with him. Black boots, a black leather belt and a large knife were the only effects listed. Not helpful at all. Alice came to stand next to her.
“You’ve figured something out, haven’t you?”
“God, I hope not.”
Delia knew what she had to do. The mummy man was asleep now, and normally they would never wake the volatile man, whom they now kept restrained at all times. This had to be done though.
“I need the shears.”
“I’ll get them for you,” Alice said as she walked off, but not before placing a reassuring hand on Delia’s shoulder.
Chapter Thirteen
Francis walked in a daze through the cobbled streets. He saw no signs of his battalion, and he began examining the buildings around him. The buildings on either side were all two-story. As he looked around he saw faces in the windows above. They were pointing at him. After a few minutes he paused to take stock of his location. He was clearly in the center of town now, but he saw no allied forces present. There were German soldiers about, but they were running in the direction away from him. What is going on here?
Then he heard a German voice shouting, “Deaktivieren sie die stadt! artillerie kommt!”
Francis did not know a lick of German, but he knew he heard artillery.
“Oh, shit,” he said.
Then he heard the muffled boom of a howitzer in the distance.
Oh no.
The Americans were going to shell the city. The first artillery shell exploded into a building a hundred yards in front of him. Then the muffled thumps started coming faster, and then they came so frequently in the distance that it sounded like a fireworks finale. Giant explosive shells crashed into the buildings, bringing down walls.
Huge craters erupted in the street and the air was filled with acrid smoke and thick dust. Some of the shells soared far past him, where he assumed the Nazi forces were fleeing. The only thing he could do was to try to return to his troop. Jesus, I don’t have a chance in hell.
Francis turned to run back in the direction of his allies but never took his first step. An 80 mm artillery shell slammed into the ground next to him. The sound of the explosion was like a rocket going off in his ear and he was blown backward a dozen feet. The blast instantly tore one leg from his body and blew off three of his fingers. His body was on fire when he landed on the earth again. Fortunately for him, he lost consciousness immediately. As he lay on the ground, the fiery ball that consumed him cauterized the giant open stump of his thigh. The flames burned most of the skin from his torso and took two-thirds of his face before burning themselves out. His bones were shattered like dust.
Several hours after the bombardment began; American forces once again marched into the city. This time they found no resistance, only bodies. The tall storefronts and homes that lined the streets had been reduced to rubble and ruins. Women were crying openly in the street. A lost husband, a child who was crushed by falling walls, their world collapsed. In the middle of it was the mangled and unrecognizable body of an American soldier. They thought he was dead. Only when his body began to shudder did they realize he had somehow survived.
“What the hell was he doing out here?” one of the medical staff wondered.
“No idea. Idiot must have been out on his own mission.”
“Do you have any idea who he is?”
“Nope, and judging by his current condition, we ain’t never gonna find out, either. This boy doesn't look like he’s gonna make it.”
The medic sighed. “Probably not. We’ll slap some gauze on him and send him to the hospital anyway. There’s nothing we can do for him out here in the field.”
The now nameless Francis was brought to a field surgery hospital several kilometers back. The surgeons added stitching to his cauterized legs and scrubbed debris from his twisted body the best they could. His face was broken and charred, the bones of his jaw fractured several times. The doctors made the decision to immobilize his face with wires and screws. A polymer feeding tube was surgically inserted into his stomach through his abdomen.
“Ok, that’s the best we can do.” The doctor motioned for a nurse to come over. “Prepare this man for transport into Liege
for recovery, we don’t have room in the surgical ward to keep him here.”
“Yes, doctor,” the young nurse answered.
She pulled the man out on his rolling bed, shuddering at the sight of him. She was just out of the nurses’ academy, and she had already seen horrors worse than anything her schooling could have prepared her for. This man was just one example. He was a grizzled, miserable mess of a human, wrapped almost completely in white dressing, making him look like a very lumpy mummy.
The nurse’s name was Kayla, and after she was released from this assignment, she had already decided that she was going to be done with nursing. She didn’t want to see any more of the pain and blood and vomit and feces. It was disgusting. War was disgusting. She longed for home. She wheeled the mummy over to the covered cargo transport they used for moving patients. One other soldier would also be making the long trip to the hospital in Liege. Kayla grabbed the two men’s personal effects and tossed them into a box to send with them.
“Anyone else?” her aging driver asked.
“No, Leon, that’s it. You better get going though. I know you don’t see well at night.”
“Well enough to see your beautiful face, my dear.”
“Leon,” Kayla said, patting him on the soldier. “You are such a sweetheart. Thank you.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, my lady.”
Kayla waved Leon off into the darkness. Just this small interaction with the wrinkled man made her feel a little better. The grisly wounds she saw every day sometimes kept her up at night. Even an old man flirting with her was a welcome distraction from her day-to-day life.
*****
Delia carefully cut away the gauze dressing off the mummy soldier’s torso. The skin underneath was a twisted mass of new scar tissue. It was hideous to see, but Delia’s training and her slightly detached nature allowed her to see them only as wounds. They did not emotionally affect her. Yet. The soldier woke while she was snipping away his bandages. He strained against his arm cuffs – once, but relented when he realized he could not get to her. His jaw was still wired, so no sound came from him, but the fire that raged in his eyes as he looked at her told her exactly what he was thinking. God help her if he was able to get his hands on her.
She peeled back the gauze from his abdominals, and then snipped away the white cotton below his waist. Then her stomach lurched.
It was hard to see through all the mangled tissue, but it was there. Below the man’s waistband, near his groin, a nasty, jagged, white scar began. It started from near his groin and traveled up, before disappearing into the burnt and tangled mass of new scar tissue. The scar obviously predated his current injuries by many years.
“Dear God.” Delia gasped. Her hand flew up to her mouth and she turned away from the soldier. Alice was there for her to lean on.
“What is it, honey?”
“Oh God Alice, this is my Francis.” Delia wept quietly into Alice’s shoulder.
“Holy shit.”
*****
“It’s over! Germany is surrendering!” The soldier who ran in through the ward was young and very excited.
“My God son, are you serious?”
“Yes, doctor, it’s been all over the wire! The war has ended!”
The usually quiet hospital ward filled with commotion. Excited voices of the nurses and doctor mingled with exuberant cries from the wounded. Delia hugged Alice hard.
“We can go home!” Alice exclaimed, jumping up onto her tiptoes. She took Delia’s hand and looked into her eyes. “We can go home. Us.”
A smile crept over Delia’s face. “You still want me? Even when we go back?”
“You’re stuck with me, Dee.”
Delia hugged her tightly again. “I’m so glad I found you.”
“Are you kidding? I found you!” They held their embrace for a little too long, looking into each other’s eyes.
“Ah-hem! Nurses!” the doctor interrupted them. “There is still work to be done.”
“Yes doctor.” Alice said, and strode up to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “We are just happy, you know?”
“Yes, of course.”
They found a radio and sure enough, the news of Germany’s surrender was flooding the airways. The hall was filled with joy and relief. All except for one man. Delia could feel the hateful whisperings of Francis’s heart. She had betrayed him. Two weeks had passed since she discovered his identity, and she could barely stand to be near him – she was so full of shame. She was in the wrong. She had promised him her heart, and then took it away. She took it away when he needed hope and love the most. Now he was a mangled mess of a man, and he was alone.
There were no love letters for him to look forward to, no woman waiting at home to put her arms around him. He was broken, and it was Delia and the United States Army’s fault. Even as she shook hands and clapped with the patients celebrating around her, she felt a dark pool of shame and guilt growing within her. I’m not the one that wounded Francis like this. His injuries were a product of the war. The wounds she inflicted on him were emotionally devastating though. She did not know how to apologize adequately to him. She knew she must atone for her transgressions, but had not even the first clue how.
That night Alice stayed in her room again. They had spent many nights like this, alone but together in each other’s arms. Sometimes they made love. Other times they just lay together. The sound of Alice’s breath in her ear calmed Delia. In the drafty apartment, the warmth from their bodies kept the bed hot.
“We are leaving soon.”
“How can you know that?”
“I spoke to the head of the corps and requested that we be released back home.”
Delia, who was lying with her back pressed against Alice, craned her neck to look at her questioningly.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first. I am ready to go home, though, and I want you to be with me.”
Delia nodded softly. “I am ready to go home as well.”
“You are still very upset about Francis, aren’t you?”
“I am.” Delia rolled toward Alice and tucked her face into her neck. “I feel so terrible for him.”
“But you didn’t do this to him, you aren’t to blame.”
“I know I didn’t, but my heart is aching. I never used to feel things like this. I was able to keep myself together. But when I met you, when we started to be - friends, everything changed. Now I feel like my heart is right out in the open, and I can feel every joy and every pain more clearly.”
“I don’t know if that’s a bad thing honey.”
“I know it’s not a bad thing. But it’s scary, and new. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster, where one minute I'm crying and the next I’m happy again. I can’t seem to get a handle on myself.” Delia absentmindedly stroked Alice’s chest as she spoke.
“How can I help?”
“Can you just love me?”
“I can do that.”
“Wait, how did you get the corps to let us go early? We are supposed to be here for another three months.
“I have a little pull in the corps, you could say.”
Delia propped herself up on an elbow and studied Alice. Alice looked back up at her with large sweet eyes that feigned innocence.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Alice sighed, and then pushed herself up into a half-sitting position. The she climbed on top of Delia, her naked body pressing against her.
“I will tell you my secret,” she whispered, then dipped her head down and kissed Delia’s mouth, “after you love me.”
Their lips met again and again. The passion was fiery and deep and Delia channeled the pain, fear, and worry she had felt into her hands and her mouth. She turned Alice onto her back and devoured her body, kissing and sucking, then biting. Her long muscled arms held Alice tight against her as she bit into the soft flesh of Alice’s inner thighs. Alice moaned against her and Delia held her tighter still. Deli
a bit Alice just a little at the tender spot between her legs. Alice yelped. Delia pulled back but Alice grabbed the top of her head and held her in place.
“I can take it a little rough, baby,” Alice gasped out. “Just as long as I know it’s from love.”
“It is only love.”
“Then love me.”
Delia gave and Alice took. It was what they both needed.
At last she was able to let go…of everything. Afterwards, Delia fell into a deep sleep with Alice on top of her. She had forgotten to ask Alice what her secret was.
*****
Delia stared down at the timepiece in her hand. It was a small gold watch. At one time it had a band, but that had long since turned to dust. Her sister Lilly gave her the watch before she left for the war. Delia did not know where Lilly had come across the little treasure, probably on one of her many adventures into the forest. Lilly was a wild, adventurous girl even though she was also very kind and sensitive.
She found many treasures in the woods and the fields. The watch had been very special to Lilly and when she handed it to Delia it was still warm from spending so much time in either Lilly’s pocket or the palm of her hand. It was just a small token from home that Delia had kept with her.
“I miss my sister, Lilly.”
Alice was helping Delia pack her belongings before they departed on the train to the airport.
“Sometime I’d like to go and visit her.”
Alice stopped what she was doing and came up behind Delia. She wrapped her slender arms around her from behind. “Of course we can go see her, Dee.”
“Good. I don’t know what my family will think of you and I being - together.”
“Ha! I’m pretty sure I know what my family will think and it’s not good! I don’t care, either. You are who I choose, Dee. Don’t get frightened away now, all right?”
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