by Aline Riva
“I did know him. Nice bloke, if he's still alive he will help you, too! He'll help all of you!”
Lynch was still fixing him with a hard glare that felt like two lasers burning through his vision, clearly this man was forged in fire, one who had not crumbled under the horrors of all that had happened from the howlers to the bombs and the androids – he had survived it all, and even now, with half his body replaced with metal, he was still willing to go down fighting...
“I knew Riley,” Jekel added, “A long time ago. Now get your hands off me!”
Lynch let him go, and Jekel sagged back into his seat, grateful to be released from his solid grip. Then his hazel eyes darkened as he once again met the gaze of Felix Lynch.
“I can help you all – I can point you in the right direction...but not the exact location because I don't know it!”
Lynch looked to Elise, and then to Joy.
“He could be useful,” Joy remarked, “Even if he is lying...But I believe him.”
“I'm not lying!” Jekel said angrily to Lynch.
Elise looked into the eyes of her lover.
“Give him a chance, Felix,” she said, “He's not a threat to us, we can be sure of that much.”
Lynch nodded.
“Okay,” he replied, looking to Jekel, “You have a chance, purely because Elise is a good judge of character and I sometimes need her to second guess me and why is none of your business! Double cross me, steal from us, lie to us, do anything out of line even once and I'll fill you with lead, okay?”
“At least I get food and shelter,” he replied, “And you have a nice place here – well stocked too.”
“We take what we need by force and next supply run, you'll prove yourself!” Lynch replied, “And should you recall any more information that you might be withholding about Riley, you tell me now – because somewhere out there is his former patient, said to be a man with such greatly advanced cybernetic workings that he could be salvation to us all!”
And I am that man, Jekel thought silently, recalling how Riley had saved his life by using him as a test subject for his cybernetics program before the old world had ended, when his own personal world had been shattered by a near fatal car accident.
“I've told you all I know,” he said to Lynch, making a good job of telling a huge lie, “And thanks for allowing me to stay – I think. By the way, there is one more thing you should know.”
“What is it?” Lynch asked.
“Don't ever lay your hands on me again!” Jekel said as bitterness blazed in his eyes, “You're ex UNA? Once a part of that murdering filth, always tainted, that's what I say!”
Anger flashed in the eyes of Lynch, whose hand balled up into a fist, but as Elise closed a gentle hand over his wrist, the anger faded out into something that could only be likened to a pain so deep the wound would never heal. It was a look that Lynch had reflected many times as he had thought back on a military career that had seen him joining the elite rank of high up human UNA personnel, believing at the time it was for the good of all...
“Spare room at the back,” he said, glancing to a doorway beyond the living area towards the rear of the vehicle, “You can have that one. Now get out of my sight!”
Then he turned away and walked off towards the front end of the vehicle, opened up a door and went inside and closed it heavily behind him.
“Please,” Elise said quietly, “Don't be so quick to judge him. You don't know him.” Then she too walked away, heading in the direction of the door that Lynch had opened.
Jekel got up from the table, and Joy cast him a look of concern.
“Do you need help?” she asked, “You don't look too good. I'm not just trained in cybernetic medicine, I can help non cyborgs too.”
He saw kindness in her eyes and appreciated it after the rough welcome he had received from Felix Lynch, as much as he appreciated the fact that clearly, she did not suspect he was a cyborg.
“No thanks, love,” he said warmly as he got up, “I can manage. A good nights sleep should put me right.”
Then he walked through the back of the living area and opened up a doorway that led into a tiny, cramped room, with a single bed that looked comfortable. He closed the door behind him, turned the lock into place and then took off his jacket, let it fall to the floor and flopped down exhausted on to the bed, which fortunately, was as comfortable as he had hoped. Then Jekel closed his eyes, while at the back of his vision the battery light stopped blinking, confirming power reserve would replenish by fifteen percent come morning. He knew he was struggling, but with sleep, that fifteen percent was better than running on empty...
Up the front end of the former luxury motor home that had once been his pride and joy, the former General was leant over the reworked control panel on the driver's side, watching as the radar scanned the area.
“No howlers for miles. No people, either. Good, because I tend to like neither ... I say we stay here until day break and get some rest,” he flicked a switch and shut off the scanner, and as he turned away, Elise smiled.
“Come on General,” she said fondly, “Time to follow my orders, come to bed.”
And she held out her hand. He hesitated, as he always did, then his expression softened as he took her hand and she led him down a few steps and into a small room beyond, where there was a double bed and a wardrobe and a chair. The rest of the space had been taken up with crates of spare ammo, all unnecessary furniture had log since been stripped out, and the once pure white carpet was scuffed and grey, but this was home for now, and the fact that Elise was beside him made it all the more welcoming.
As she undressed he turned his back and did the same, knowing she would be in bed before him.
She turned on the light just as he had stripped off his gloves and coat and shirt, and his hands froze as he reached for his belt as he cast her an uneasy glance.
“Turn it off, Frankie,” he said, and hearing that same old nervous tone in his voice as he used his pet name for her at the same time made her heart ache for him.
“I've seen it all before,” she reminded him, and then her eyes lit up as she cast her gaze over his very human upper body, he was slender but toned and as much as he hated that UNA tattoo in the centre of his chest, he had kept it, just to remind him of the mistake he had once made. Despite being in his fifties, he looked good for his age, and his age had never mattered to Elise, who had fallen in love with him at first sight more than five years before, when she had met the man who was then a UNA General. His age had not mattered any more than the fact that his lower body was now mechanical from the waist down, she had told him over and over nothing mattered but the fact that she loved him. But of course, she knew Felix would always live with pain and loss because even though he had been treated with cybernetic surgery that had saved his life, nothing changed the fact that half his human body was gone...
She turned out the light and he finished undressing quickly in the dark. Then he got in bed beside her, and as she shifted closer to him she wanted to remind him that his lower body of living metal felt as warm as flesh, but he kissed her cheek and held her and as she reached for him, he caught her hand, holding it as he embraced her, making it clear he just wanted to sleep.
“Good night,” he whispered.
“I love you,” she said softly.
He kept his face pressed against her shoulder as he responded.
“Love you too.”
She reached up and ran her hand over his hair, her heart aching sharply as she recalled the first time she had seen him after the battle for Freedom, after an explosion had taken his lower body, scorched his face, he had been barely recognisable, even his hair had been gone...it was thick and flowing and silver now, and as she stroked it fondly, love shone in her eyes as she looked at the man who had come back and survived against such terrible odds.
“I really do,” she reminded him, “I love every beat of your heart as much as I love every wire and circuit and tube and program that
keeps you alive and in this world with me.”
“I know you do,” Lynch replied and then he closed his eyes, holding on to her as he willed sleep to come quickly so he didn't have to lie beside her and think about parts of his body that had been replaced with sleek metal – parts that could not make love to her...
As he lay there in the darkness and felt her relax in his embrace as she slipped into an easy slumber, he thought about the access chamber that was located just below his ribcage. There was a vital component in there, and if he opened it and took it out, his life support system would shut down very quickly. He didn't know if it would be a painless way to go, but he hoped it would be easier than living with half his human body gone...
He had made a decision long ago after waking up with half his body replaced, and one day he would carry out that choice – he would put an end to his life his own way, at the right time. But that time wouldn't arrive until he had led his band of unfortunate suffering cyborgs to some kind of place of safety. When he didn't have to worry about them any more, he would carry out his plan, end his life and finally know peace. That was the plan, it was just that how much he loved Elise made it all the more painful to contemplate, because she didn't have a clue that he was planning to end it all eventually.
He pushed aside thoughts of death and held her close, burying his face against her hair and listening to the sound of her breathing.
“I love you,” he whispered, but in a voice so soft that she would not wake to hear him, and then he closed his eyes, losing himself in the scent of her and all the memories that made him think, just for a precious moment before he fell asleep, that he really was completely human once more.
Outside the motor home the woods were shrouded in darkness, and within, the vehicle was also dark with all lights off, and then there was a soft click as an internal door was quietly opened, and a hand reached in and turned on the switch that bathed the room in a warm glow.
Then Joy hastily turned the dial, dimming the light so that the sleeping occupant who was in what had formerly been the spare room did not wake.
He had not changed, Joy thought to herself as she stood there in the doorway watching as Ash Jekel slept deeply, she watched the rise and fall of his chest and wanted to go over to him and open up his waist coat and then do the same to the buttons on his shirt – but she wasn't sure if she wanted to do that to make him more comfortable, or to simply get a better look...She smiled in the dim light and then turned the switch to off, stepped back and quietly closed the door, leaving the exhausted man to sleep and rest until day break, then she made her way back to the place that she called home – a large area in the mid section of the motor home, there it was divided off from the rest by a curtain and housed her small but well stocked medical room.
This part of the vehicle used to house a jacuzzi, but now the only evidence of its former luxury was the broken floor tiles that still remained here and there. She got on to a small camp bed in the corner and laid back and closed her eyes and then as she welcomed sleep, she wondered why she was thinking about that scanner she had in the middle of the room and how she would like to get Jekel on it – just to take a look at him...Maybe she was just concerned for his health because he seemed very tired, or maybe it was a passing kinky thought...Joy went to sleep with a smile on her lips, and with thoughts of Jekel drifting about her mind as she considered herself lucky that in a world gone to hell, a girl could still get a sudden crush on a man she barely knew, yet held such strangely fond memories for...
Morning came around too quickly for Jekel, who woke up feeling exhausted as if sleep had done nothing for him at all, and he sat up wearily and pulled the faded curtain aside, looking out between a gap in the armour plating to see Lynch and Elise sitting around a camp fire with Joy and the young couple who had been quarrelling the night before. They were all eating a breakfast of scrambled eggs, except for Ruby, who sat there picking at decaying cybernetic skin – what was left of the covering on her artificial arm. As he watched through the window Jekel felt sick at the sight of it, and also very sorry for the young woman – he felt sorry for all of them, all cyborgs, in a world where cybernetic treatment and maintenance had been outlawed within the first three years of the end of the conflicts. It had left so many without hope and ow most of the cyborgs were dead – at least, the ones who had not found access the cybernetic fluid that kept their artificial parts working in acceptance with their human bodies...
Jekel got up, ran his fingers through his hair and then left the room in search of a bathroom, as he hoped there would be one – because he wasn't about to take a piss and then eat breakfast without washing his hands first.
A short while later, after finding a small bathroom that thankfully had running water, Jekel left the vehicle by the open door in the middle and walked out to join the others. As the camp fire crackled and Ruby picked off another piece of artificial flesh, exposing more of a gleaming silver skeleton with parts that moved with horrible grace as she extended her fingers, she looked down at the mess that had once been a perfect cybernetic arm.
“I feel like a freak,” she said.
Spike set his finished meal aside and looked into her eyes.
“You're not a freak, stop it!” he said, and then he took hold of her metallic hand and kissed it, and as his eyes met hers and he started to smile, so did she.
“Come on,” he said to her, getting up and grasping her artificial hand as he pulled her in the direction of the open door of the vehicle, “We've got some making up to do!”
And she giggled as he led her away.
“Oh great,” Joy said, “Now we have to listen to ten minutes of fucking!”
“More like eight minutes of clumsy fumbling and then two minutes of her moaning before he finishes,” Felix muttered, and Elise hid a smile and looked away as Felix briefly closed his eyes, silently hoping he would not have to be reminded of the very act he could no longer perform thanks to having nothing beneath his clothing but a plate covering wires and tubes that ran into what was left of his human body, that plate was all he had now, it was hardly worth calling it a groin at all...
A giggle came from inside the vehicle, and then a low moan.
“Shut up!” Felix called out, and a slamming door sounded in reply.
Then Jekel spoke up.
“Morning...” he said cautiously, and the others looked at him.
“You're too late for breakfast,” Felix informed him, “Sorry about that,” and then he got up and walked away, heading for a clearing where he stood alone, looking out across fields covered with a light haze of morning mist.
Joy shifted over and looked to Jekel.
“Sit down, you can have the rest of mine, you still look tired.”
Jekel sat beside her and she handed him the rest of her food, which he took only because his low battery was making him feel shattered all over again.
“Are you sure you don't mind?” he asked.
“I said, take it,” Joy told him, and then she got up and walked back towards the open door of the vehicle.
“I know he makes you feel unwelcome,” said Elise, “But its just his way. He doesn't know you yet.”
“And I couldn't care less what an ex UNA soldier thinks of me,” he replied.
As he ate the rest of Joy's left over food, Elise said nothing, then when he had finished she took the plate from him and glanced over at Felix, who was far from the motor home and the muffled sounds coming from within as he looked across the fields, watching the sun rise higher and the mist start to fade out.
“Don't judge him!” she said sharply, “He wasn't always UNA! He's ex army! He was a British army general before he accepted the chance to take a role in what he believed would help to make a better world! He's a war veteran! A lot of people went over to the UNA in the beginning, thinking them to be doing something for the greater good – decent people like Felix! And they repaid him by their android bastards turning on him, taking him prisoner and torturing
him! He was wounded fighting for freedom, fighting for what he had always stood up for – this time against the people who lied to him!”
As anger burned in her eyes, Jekel remained calm.
“My home town was taken apart by the UNA. Everyone I once knew are gone!”
His words did nothing to calm her anger as defiance blazed in her eyes.
“Listen...” she glanced over at her lover, who stood looking out across the fields, then she turned back to Jekel and lowered her voice,”Felix got both his legs blown off. Not just his legs, he had to have everything replaced below the waist – fighting for our freedom! I was there watching him trying to hold on, I saw the pain he went through for months afterwards, and I see the pain he still goes through every day because he's half machine so don't you sit there without a scratch and tell me you had a bad war!”
Jekel looked down at the ground, sitting in silence as he thought back to the day he had got into his car and then woken up seven months later, the world a blurred haze as he recognised Riley at his bedside.
“Don't be scared,” his best friend had said, “There was no other way... I had to use the Cybernetic Program. I know it was intended for military use but they needed a test subject...” and then his eyes had filled with tears, “And I didn't want to say goodbye to my best friend,” he had told him.
It had taken weeks to fully understand that he had been in a terrible accident, he had no memory of the bridge collapsing and crushing the cars beneath it, nor did he feel as if every bone in his body had been shattered. Riley had told him without his intervention he wouldn't have survived twenty-four hours. He couldn't see the programming in his head or feel the living metal injected to mend his bones, he couldn't feel the wiring and the battery and the circuits, but they were all there...
Suddenly he had become the worlds first cyborg, and his machine parts so cleverly disguised beneath his human exterior that no one could tell at a glance he was anything other than totally human. And he had lost nothing, either – he had gained much, even being able to use the invisibility stealth mode cloak... But he knew he couldn't say a word, being this cyborg of legend that the post war cyborgs spoke of, because his cybernetic fluid was not like theirs. His would live on for the rest of his life and never need it replacing... His design was a one off.