by Ashley Beale
I push against his chest. He doesn't object as he pulls off of me, standing up from the bed. An obvious erection pushing at the seam in his pants. I curse myself for telling him no, but only for a minute. Deep down, I know I'm doing the right thing.
He clears his throat and adjusts himself so the boner isn't sticking straight out. I can't help but blush as he does that, but I don't turn my head.
I know I'll never get a chance with Roman again, and although I can only imagine how incredible it'll be with him, I also know I did the right thing by saying no. It’s not only professional for me to stop it, but ethical. Although my boyfriend is a drug dealing asshole, according to others, he is still my boyfriend. Plus, I can't exactly trust what others say. I need to find out the truth myself before I accuse him of these things.
"Will you be at work tomorrow?" Roman asks.
I smile up at him and nod my head. "Yeah, sorry, I was just exhausted. I needed sleep. I'll be there."
He continues to stare at me for a moment. This time when he stares at me I don't see a monster, I see an animal. One that wants to be tamed but can't control his actions. He is a good person with rough edges.
"Sleep well, Liv." He walks away from me, leaving me in my overly quiet bedroom. The sounds of nothing is deafening.
I close my eyes and sit on my bed for several minutes while I try to process what happened. It becomes a blur. I don't understand how any of it happened, and honestly, I'm not sure I want to know. What I do know is, I need to find out the truth about Blaise.
My phone vibrating Saturday morning wakes me from a stressful dream. I've had all nightmares since Tuesday, making this week really drag by. I pick it up to see that it’s Blaise calling me. We haven't seen each other since Monday. I've been too exhausted and stressed out that I keep making up excuses why I can't see him.
"Hello?" My voice comes out groggy.
"Morning beautiful," his voice shines through the phone.
Hearing those sweet words come out in a melody that is his voice makes everything I'm learning hard to believe. He is good at hypnotizing me, that much is for sure.
"Morning," I reply back.
"I really want to see you today. I miss you."
Even though I know it’s dumb to feel what I'm feeling, I can't help but grin. "I miss you, too. I'd love to see you today."
"I actually have to help my uncle this afternoon, so I'm not sure I'll have a lot of time to do many things. Do you want to do lunch right at my place?"
"Sounds perfect. I'll shower quickly then I'll head over."
His voice drops an octave when he tells me, "Just shower here."
I have to squeeze my legs together. The image that popped in my head and the sound of his voice melts me to the bed. I nearly moan when I sit up. "Sounds good, I'll see you soon."
Instead of changing out of my pajamas, I quickly grab a change of clothes and run to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
The drive to Blaise's isn't far, but in the time it takes me to drive there, I manage to come up with ten different scenarios of how today is going to pan out. The only thing I can hope for is that everything I've been learning has been a lie. I want the Blaise I know, the Blaise I've fallen in love with. I don't want the drug dealing, asshole that I should be afraid of.
Blaise opens the door as I walk up. He greets me with a smile, and when the door is closed, he greats me a second time with one massively seductive kiss. I giggle as I pull away from his mouth. "Why hello to you, too."
"Sorry." His grins tells me he is anything but sorry. "I just have missed you this week." His mouth lands on mine once more. I melt into him as our kiss furthers once more.
His hands grab at my hips and help me jump up until my legs are wrapped around his waist. He walks us to his bedroom, throwing me down on the bed. "The shower can wait," he tells me. I don't argue.
Blaise strips me from my clothes before getting rid of his own. He looks amazing in the flesh. I love his body, especially his rock hard abs. My finger runs along a scar that is on the left of his stomach. It looks newer than some of his other scars. He has several on his body. When I asked him about them once, he mentioned they were mostly from his dad. This one can't be though, its too new. I noticed it for the first time a couple weeks ago.
He grabs my hands and place them above my head. He leans over me as he adjusts himself between my legs. My breathing increases when I see the look on his face. Blaise looks down at me like I'm the only girl in the world. As if he surrenders to me. I feel so blessed to have his love, for no one has ever loved me like he does.
His cock pushes into me hard, causing my back to arch and a moan to release from my mouth. He slowly pulls out and pushes back into me even harder. He continues the motion until I'm close to getting off, then he starts going faster. I come hard around his cock, but he doesn't stop.
Blaise rolls us around so I'm on top of him. He lets me take over. I love being the one who has control, especially when it comes to Blaise. I ride his dick hard, feeling him even deeper inside of me than normal. His hands press into my butt, squeezing as I go up and down on top of him.
I can feel the warmth starting to coat my inside as he comes inside of me. I can't help but come too. I ride out my orgasm on top of Blaise. His body starts to convulse under me when I don't stop riding him.
He pushes me off from him, making me land on the bed next to him. I look over to Blaise to see him smiling at me. Instantly I grin as well. "God I love you," he murmurs.
"I love you too."
He reaches over and kisses my lips softly before getting off the bed. "Why don't you jump in the shower and I'll make us lunch."
I gladly obey as I climb off his bed and make my way into the shower. When I get out Blaise has two bowls of soup sitting on the table with a pile of oyster crackers. "Smells delicious," I tell him.
"It's just canned soup."
I giggle before giving him a soft kiss to the cheek. "Well I'm sure it’s perfect."
We sit down to eat the soup together, chasing it with ice cold tea. We don't talk much during our small lunch but I don't mind. Everything that needs to be said is done with our eyes. Every time I'm with Blaise or talk with him, I feel like the corny hopeless romantic I was when I met him.
I want to be that girl. I want that to be our relationship. I know that if I find out the truth about Blaise, and it is what I've been told- or worse- that I'll never be able to trust anyone again. I won't be able to fall in love with anyone ever again. My love life as I know it will be non-existent. With all honesty, I think that is what terrifies me the absolute most.
"What are you helping your uncle with?" I ask when he takes our empty bowls to the sink.
"He needs help moving cargo."
"Oh, so nothing I can help with."
He walks over to me and grabs my hands inside of his. "Sadly, no. It'll be easier if we just go and get it done."
"Will I see you later tonight?" I say with a yawn. "I planned on either sleeping all day or being with you." I do my very best to give him puppy dog eyes.
His lips lift into a smile and I know I've won. "Why don't you just take a nap here? I shouldn't be gone more than two or three hours. Then we can rent a movie or go out to dinner tonight."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course baby." He kisses my mouth softly.
I end up devouring his mouth with mine. His hand slides up the skirt I have on until it reaches my burning hot core. He pushes his finger inside of me. The finger runs along my slit, spreading my wetness around. He pushes against my clit, circling the area until my body starts to shake. An orgasm rips through me as I start panting into Blaise's mouth.
When he pulls away, he sucks on his finger for a moment. "Mm," he moans against it. "My favorite desert."
I've seen him do it before but it doesn't stop me from blushing. I love knowing he enjoys the taste of me, even if it makes me feel awkward after. "I'll tuck you in before I head out."
I hop down from the
stool. "Do you mind if I fall asleep to a movie?"
He kisses my temple before walking past me. "Of course not baby."
Once I'm tucked into his bed, I turn on the TV. He adjusts the AC so it isn't too cold for me in his bedroom, then he gives me many kisses on the mouth. "I'll be back as soon as I can be. Sleep well beautiful."
"Oh, I will, I'm exhausted." He leaves the door open a crack when he exits the room.
I wait several minutes after the front door closes to climb back out of bed. Peeking out the window, I see that his SUV is in fact gone. Just to be on the safe side of things, I check the condo to make sure it truly is empty. Blaise is really gone, leaving me in his home alone.
My first thought is that he can't be that bad of a guy if he left me alone in his condo for several hours. My second thought is that I can't believe I pulled off being that exhausted. I'm normally a horrible liar.
I look through everything in the living room, kitchen, bathroom, and guest room to find nothing at all. I've even gone as far as checking the vents on the floorboard and pulling all the books off the shelf to see if there is a fake room somewhere. I feel like a maniac by the time I've reached his bedroom. I've also wasted over two hours looking.
He'll be here any time and I haven't touched his room yet.
The first places I look are the most obvious places; his dresser, under his bed, and in his closet. When I find nothing, I start looking in his shoes, the ceiling tiles, and even the pockets to his pants. I find absolutely nothing anywhere.
Even if he is a drug dealer, he doesn't keep his stash here. I would have definitely found it.
I climb into the bed once more. The light reflecting through the window causes the picture frame on the wall to blind me for a second. I curse at it before doing a double check. I've noticed the picture hanging on the wall before, but its never stuck out quite like this. It doesn't line up with the dresser, yet his entire apartment looks like someone with OCD decorated it. The frame is done in gold when the rest in his place is done in black or silver. The picture itself is more like a canvas than a picture. It doesn't seem right.
My gut tells me that is where I need to look. Knots in my stomach dare me not to go near it while everything else inside me is screaming for me to finally find out the truth.
I pull the canvas off the wall. The back is covered in brown paper, held on by brown tape. It looks normal. Even so, I know something is wrong. I run my finger along the edge and feel where a piece of the tape has been replaced. I pull at the tape and it unseals the brown paper in that spot. I peak inside but find nothing.
My frustration takes over and I end up shaking the fucking shit of the canvas. Piles of little baggies fall from inside onto the bed. The baggies are folded different ways. Little baggies are round and filled with a hard substance, looking almost like white rocks. Other baggies are folded the way I've seen in movies, spun so they're long and round. They are filled with a white powdery substance. The rest of the bags are spun so they're also round, but they're half the size of the other ones. Those are also filled with a white powder, just not as coarse as the other bags.
My body starts to shake. I don't know what to do with this information. I'm not sure what is in the baggies per say, what I do know is it’s definitely drugs. Vomit starts to rise but I hold back. I need to hold back until I get these back into the canvas. I just hope they weren't placed in there a certain way.
I shove them back into the hole, one by one, being cautious that I don't rip any of baggies. I slide the tape to cover the hole once again and give it a little shake, making sure that nothing is going to come out.
Even with my heart racing and my hands uncontrollably shaking, I manage to hang the picture back on the wall where I found it. I go wash my hands. Even though they're not actually dirty, I feel as though they are. I climb back into Blaise's bed when in reality I want to run away from here.
Clarissa was right. I should have believed her. It shouldn't have taken until I confronted Roman about it to find things out myself. I could have been away from this mess weeks ago. Now I'm stuck. I have no idea what to do. Maybe Roman really will save me. Maybe he can help me.
Or I could apologize to Clarissa. That is what I need to do. I need to tell her how sorry I am about everything. Maybe she'll help me as well. I know I'd help her if the roles were reversed. I've been a selfish and horrible friend but I need her desperately right now.
The front door rattles. Blaise is home.
My stomach knots up. I feel like I'm going to be very sick.
I cover myself with the blankets, and pretend to be lost deep in sleep.
He makes noise in the living room before he slowly walks into the bedroom. I hear his feet creaking softly on the floor. He opens a drawer in his dresser softly. I peek out from one of my eyes to watch him, hoping he doesn't notice. It’s his bottom drawer, which he removes all his clothes from. I watch him hide a wad of cash in the bottom of the drawer before placing a wooden slab over the money.
It was a fake bottom. I didn't even notice it. He could have so many hidden compartments in his home I didn't find during my search. I hope none of those compartments contained a camera, or I will end up dead.
My eye snaps shut before he sees me. The drawer closes just as soft as it opens but I can still hear it. The bed dips next to me as he climbs in beside me. His hand runs through my hair, tucking strands behind my ear. "Baby," he whispers. "I'm home."
I don't want to wake from my fake sleep. I want to lay here until he gives up then I want to sneak out of his home. I can't run away though, because I know he'll find me. I've entrapped myself in this situation without ever meaning to. I'm lost, confused, and hopeless. This time it’s not in the romantic way.
Yawning, I stretch my arms out and peek an eye open to see Blaise. He smiles down at me as he continues running his fingers through my hair. I force myself to smile up at him, praying it seems real. It needs to seem real. I can't have him knowing I rummaged through his entire apartment.
I certainly can't let him know what I found.
"You must've been exhausted," he states.
I simply nod my head against the pillow.
"Well I rented us a movie. You can just lay there and cuddle with me. I also bought a few snacks to munch on during it. Maybe that'll keep you awake long enough for the movie to end."
The thought of staying here that long- long enough for a movie to play all the way through- makes me sick. Adding in the factors of everything I found brings me to my breaking point. I jump out of the bed so fast I nearly trip over the blankets hanging down the side of the bed. The bathroom isn't far, but I barely make it. Instead of using the toilet, I start tossing everything from my stomach into the sink.
Blaise rubs my back as more comes up.
He grabs me a wash cloth when it seems that I'm done and helps me wash my face. If I wasn't so terrified of him right now, I'd certainly be embarrassed. "Babe." He looks my face over. "You look horrible. You've been exhausted all week, right? You must be coming down with the flu or something."
He doesn't let me answer, instead he continues to ramble on like he is some kind of genius. It doesn't take one to realize that yes, I'm sick. However, it’s definitely not the flu. Its a little something called Blaise.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," I finally speak. "Maybe I should just go back to my dorm. I need to rest some more."
"No, stay here," he insists.
It’s hard to argue with him, especially when he puts on the facade of being a caring gentleman. I know he'll probably be persistent, but I can't stay here. I don't dare fall asleep around him. "No, really, I should head back. My dorm mate is gone for the weekend anyways, so it'll be nice and quiet for me. I don't want to be a nuisance. I have homework and stuff to get done too." I could probably make up another twenty excuses if needed.
Fortunately Blaise seems to give up. "Okay, babe. Are you sure?"
I smile at him. "Yeah. I think it'll be smarter. Plus, I don't want you to s
ee me throw up more than you already have."
He runs his hand along my cheek. "I don't mind, I hope you know. I love you and will spend the rest of my life taking care of you if that is what you need."
More vomit threatens to rise but I'm able to swallow it back. "I know," I tell him, even though what I really know is how wonderful of a liar he truly is. "Thank you for everything. I'll call you tomorrow."
I grab my purse and allow him to kiss me goodbye. I want nothing more than to run to my car and get the hell out of dodge, but I know I have to keep it cool until I'm down the road.
Once I'm out of sight, I grab my phone and dial Clarissa's number.
When she doesn't answer the phone, I leave a quick message, hoping she'll return my call. "Hey Clarissa. It's... me. I'm truly ashamed this is the first time I've called you in almost a month. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. You were right. You're always right. I miss you. I love you. Please call me."
No words have ever been more sincere.
My phone rings just after midnight. Clarissa's name lights up my screen. I've never been more thrilled to see her name.
She doesn't let me even greet her before she starts to speak. "This doesn't mean I forgive you. I just know you need me. Please tell me he hasn't hurt you. I'll kill him."
A tear runs down my cheek before I have the chance to say anything. "Not yet." I can barely say the words. My emotions have been spiraling out of control ever since I got home from Blaise's. If Tricia, my roommate, were here, she'd probably end up calling a psychiatric doctor.
The first thing I had done when I walked into my room was grabbed the picture frame holding a photo of Blaise and I, then chucked it into the trash. Then I grabbed a teddy bear he won me at the carnival and ripped its head off and screamed bloody murder. My neighbor to the dorm knocked on my door and I told her I stubbed my toe. I doubt she believed it, but she didn't question anything.
Wind rips through the phone so I know Clarissa is outside. She speaks to me still but it comes out a little muffled. "I'm on my way. Where are you?"