by P. Anastasia
“Some nights I make quite a bit. And sometimes I even doodle little drawings on people’s checks. They seem to get a kick out of it. It’s been a good place to work so far. The manager is nice and he doesn’t treat me like a kid, either.”
“The drawing on the checks thing is adorable,” I piped in.
He grinned.
“Speaking of which.” Mom switched off the faucet and turned toward us. “If you have to work tonight, maybe you should call in. You’ve had a rough night and people can usually sense when you’re stressed. We don’t want you getting fired or anything. I’m sure your boss will understand.”
“I doubt it,” Brian replied, shaking his head. “Getting into a fight with your mom seems like a lame excuse to cut work. I need the money. I’ll suck it up and deal.”
“Only a suggestion. I thought you could use the break with school starting up Monday and all.”
“The restaurant is closed tomorrow. I’ll survive.”
“Well, then why don’t you two take a walk or something? The fresh air could do you some good. It’s nice and sunny today.” She motioned to the open kitchen window.
The clear sky gleamed as blue as the ocean. According to the weather report, it would be a nice day. Maybe even a great day for…
“You wanna take a ride somewhere?” Brian looked at me.
“Sure.” I’d never turn down the chance. “Though…” I rubbed my belly. “I’m just a little sick to my stomach today. It’s not a big deal, though,” I assured him.
He tipped his head to the side. “Are you okay?”
“Um…” I stammered. “Yeah. Girl stuff. That’s all. No biggie. I’ll take something before we leave.” I shrugged. Mom heard me and started digging around in the medicine cabinet. Period cramps never were my friend.
“Ah. I see.” He nodded and looked off to the side, a little jarred and unsure of how to respond. “Well, okay, I don’t actually know exactly, but… I get it. I get it. Gross stuff happens, girls get cranky and things hurt. I’ve heard guys complaining about their girlfriends going all PMS on them. You never seem to change though and that’s cool.”
I chuckled at his odd compliment. “Yeah. It can get a little overwhelming sometimes, but I’ll be fine. All of the stress from last night has got my stomach in more knots than usual. One thing after another.”
“Hey, I’m not in a hurry as long as I get back in time to get changed and—aw, damn it.” He whacked his hand against the table and scowled. “I don’t have my work clothes. I am not going back home right now to get anything. Not while she’s there.”
“We can swing by the mall and grab something,” I suggested, taking a glass of water and some ibuprofen from my mom.
“That would work. I could use another pair anyway. Hey, thanks for breakfast Mrs.—”
“Call me Jane. Jane is fine.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind…”
“Yes, Brian. Just Jane will do.”
“Well then, thanks, Jane. Alice is lucky to have a mom like you.” He shoved his hand into a pocket in his jeans. “Shit! Where’s my key?” He leapt up from his seat and patted frantically at his pants pockets.
“Oh! Just a sec!” Mom grabbed something from the table near the entryway and jogged back over to us. She set the key to his motorcycle on the table and slid it toward him. “It was in the dryer this morning. I meant to give it to you. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
He exhaled a huge sigh of relief. “Thanks. I was worried I’d dropped it outside or something.” He looked back at me and frowned. “Sorry, Alice. I’m trying. I really am.”
He’d been swearing less than he used to, but I knew I couldn’t change who he was. I didn’t really want to. I just wanted him to act better than the other boys at school. The ones who couldn’t say a sentence without enhancing it with something crude.
“I know. Don’t worry about it.” I tugged playfully on his t-shirt. “Let’s go so you’ll have time to come back and get ready for work.”
If I was remembering correctly, the servers at Jacques’ wore classy white button-up shirts, black slacks, and a black vest. I imagined how it might look on Brian. Black worked well for him. And so did button-up shirts. I loved to tease him by playing with the top few buttons near his collar.
I sighed.
“Alice?”
“Sorry. Just thinking.”
“I noticed. About?”
“You.”
He smiled with his eyes.
Chapter 28
I didn’t tell my mom what Brian had told me last night. I probably should have, but I thought doing so might jeopardize the trust he’d put in me. He had asked me to keep it a secret, after all.
I’d never seen Brian so worried. So vulnerable. When your mother is the only family you have, you can’t afford to be on thin ice with her.
“You look nice,” I said.
He tugged at the cuffs of his white shirt and brushed down the edges of his collar. The classic black and white combination gave him a gorgeous air of nostalgia. The crisp black vest. The smooth white sateen shirt. They made him look refined and even a little older. Mature and polished.
“Besides the fact that parking and traffic are hell on weekends, it was nice having lunch with you at the mall,” he said, bent over, tying his black shoe laces. Mom had dug out a polish stick this morning and cleaned them off while we were out.
He adjusted his belt by a notch and looked up at me. “Well?”
I nodded, grinning in approval, utterly smitten.
“I’m starting to think girls might go to Jacques’ for more than food.” I snickered. Something caught my eye and I reached for it. “Oops,” I said, peeling a small white branding sticker from his sleeve. “Missed this.” The label dangled from my fingertip.
“Thanks.” He laughed. “Oh, and tell your mom I appreciate her doing my clothes for me.”
“It’s not a problem. Are you sure things will be better Monday?”
“Yeah,” he replied, buttoning the top button on his shirt. “She’s… done this before, actually.”
“No way.”
“Before we moved here. That friend with the dirt bike I told you about earlier? Well, I crashed at his place a few times.” He adjusted his bowtie.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I just can’t wait to get the hell out of my mom’s house.” His lips thinned. “All of this legal stuff is ridiculous. I can have a job and a motorcycle, and I know guys my age who even manage to buy and smoke cigarettes, but I can’t get away from my mother without the government butting in and trying to drag me off to some stranger’s house. Talk about a load of bull.” He heaved a sigh.
“You have me and my mom now.” I wrapped my arm around his and brushed up against him. “We’ll do whatever we can to help you.”
“Thanks. Being able to trust your mother means a lot to me, and finding you was the best thing that’s happened in my whole life.” He leaned down toward me.
“Alright down there?” Mom called from the top of the basement stairs.
“Yes,” we replied in unison.
“Just like in the movies.” I rolled my eyes. “Moms.”
I walked up the stairs behind Brian and suddenly felt a sharp pain in my belly. I cupped my hands over my stomach and grunted, freezing in place.
“You okay?” Brian looked over his shoulder at me.
“Uh, yeah.” I resisted a second grunt of pain and swallowed hard. The pain killers weren’t working so well today and the cramps were getting worse. I really needed to lie down.
But not before seeing him off. I took a few breaths, regained my composure and jogged up the remaining steps.
Brian shut the basement door behind me and looked at me, concerned. “Are you sure? I’ve never seen you this sick before. Can I do anything? Maybe…” he lifted his left hand toward me.
“No. I’ll be fine. It comes and goes. The anemia doesn’t make it any
easier either.”
“I wish I could help.”
“Thanks. But it will pass.” The spasms made my jaw clench.
“Okay. Let me know how you’re doing.”
“Yeah. Okay.” I nodded and we went into the kitchen together.
“Oh, wow.” Mom looked at him and her gaze softened. “Now don’t you look handsome? Oh my gosh, Brian.”
Brian looked at his feet, hiding a shy smile. I slid my hand down his arm and took his hand.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him,” I added.
I think I embarrassed him, and I kind of liked that. It was cute. Considering how he’d looked last night, dragging himself through the door like a drowned rat… well, I’d take his sweet bashfulness over his traumatized vagabond any day.
. . .
Sunday afternoon, Brian walked his motorcycle out of the garage and stopped in the driveway, propping it up with the kickstand. He tucked his work clothes into a compartment under the seat and then I handed him his helmet and gloves. He lifted one leg up and over the bike and sat down.
“Thank your mom again, would you?” He pulled one glove on and then the other.
“I will. Don’t worry. Just let us know how it goes, okay? If she keeps it up…”
“I’ll let you know, Alice.”
“Thanks.” I looked at my feet. I didn’t want to let him go. Not today. Not ever again.
Mom had convinced him to go home earlier than he’d planned. He’d originally hoped to sneak back in while his mom was still at work and then talk it over when she got home, but Mom believed the extra day wouldn’t change things. That, and school started back up tomorrow. He needed to get his things together and wouldn’t have time if he stayed another night.
He flicked his hair back and shoved his black helmet on. A moment later, he pulled it back off and set it behind his seat. He reached out and wrapped his arms around my waist, reeling me in. I stumbled forward, straddling his knee. His fingers crept under the edge of my tank top and caressed my side.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, and then tugged me down into a kiss.
I closed my eyes and savored it.
Kissing on a motorcycle, checked off my bucket list.
“Don’t take this the wrong way Alice, but I doubt this will be the last time we spend a night together.” His fingers drifted down my neck. “I only hope the circumstances will be different next time.”
I bit my lip.
“Be safe,” I said.
“I will.” He scooped up his helmet from the seat behind him and put it on. “Alice, I…” He hesitated, catching himself before he could finish the sentiment. I knew what was on the tip of his tongue. Today, he fought the urge to say it. “Never mind.” He grinned and put down his visor.
I backed away. He turned a switch on, pulled the clutch, and flipped the starter button. The engine growled and he flicked a partial wave at me with his hand before buzzing out of the driveway.
Every second away from him made my heart ache. A void of emptiness consumed me when our hands parted and my whole being felt a little less… complete.
I was kidding myself to think I wasn’t in love with him.
He needed to hear it from me.
And the words were right there, rising from my heart, but still I choked… every time. I’d only ever told one man that I loved him—my dad—and he had turned his back on me.
Chapter 29
“That tissue isn’t going to get any smaller, Alice,” said Sam, cocking an eyebrow at me.
I’d been fiddling with it since I’d gotten on the bus, coiling it around my fingers absentmindedly. Brian had never gotten on this morning, and neither had my head, apparently.
“I’m worried about him, that’s all,” I replied, shoving the crumpled-up mess of linty white fluff into my book bag. “He told me everything was okay, but I thought he’d be on the bus at least today. First day of school and all.”
“Maybe he took his bike?”
“Without me?” I shuffled in my seat. “Maybe.”
I stepped off the bus at school and walked across the parking lot. Brian stood waiting for me at the opposite end.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, presenting me with a small pink daisy. I plucked it from his fingers and thanked him with a smile. A weight lifted off my heart.
The journal I’d given him for Christmas last year was tucked under one of his arms and the top of my purple pen peeked out over his ear.
“Have you been drawing?” I asked.
“Yeah. I want to show you later.”
Sam jogged up beside us. “Well, I’ll just be heading off to homeroom, okay? You two have fun. Nice to see you, Brian. Bye Allie!” She waved and rushed off.
“Did everything go okay with your mom?” I took his hand.
“Yeah. She’d cooled off a lot. I told her I spent the night at a friend’s house and she didn’t even care. Guess she never did. Go figure.”
“No apology, though, huh?” We strolled toward the school entrance.
“Nope. None expected.”
I shook my head and sighed. “That just sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“Guys!” Kareena’s high-pitched squeal was unmistakable.
We veered around. She came flouncing toward us, her heels clacking on the pavement and her plaid skirt rippling in the breeze. A wide-eyed look of panic was painted across her face.
“You’re glowing!” she said, pointing a trembling finger at us. “Your shoulder, Alice. Your arm, Brian! Crap, you two! We have to get out of here! People are going to see you!”
I looked over at Brian and saw nothing blue besides his jeans. He studied my shoulder in return and then shrugged.
“I don’t see anything,” he said, staring skeptically at her. “I think you’ve inhaled too much hairspray.”
“Jesus, guys!” She stamped her heel on the ground. “Why won’t you listen to me? You’re freaking glowing. I can see it clear as freaking day.”
I really thought she was screwing with us. We couldn’t have been glowing right then and there; a few other students straggling in the parking lot didn’t seem interested at all.
“We aren’t, Kareena,” I replied, craning my neck to take a second look at my shoulder to reconfirm. “Nope. Nothing there.”
She crossed her arms. “Ugh! Forget it. When somebody else sees it, you’ll know I’m not talking shit.”
Kareena shoved her books into her locker, rustling things around loudly on purpose, muttering to herself. Her locker was beside ours this year because she’d sweet-talked a junior boy into switching with her.
“I think she’s losing it,” I whispered to Brian, who silently mouthed his agreement.
“Look, I know you guys don’t, like, value my opinion,” she started, slamming her locker door shut and turning toward us with a huff. “But I’m not joking. I can see it.” She folded her arms and leaned her back up against her locker.
First day of the tenth grade. Kareena had lost it.
. . .
“You guys kinda suck as friends,” Kareena said, picking at her macaroni and cheese and exhaling loudly. She’d kept up her rant all through lunch.
“Don’t say something stupid like that.” Brian snatched the plastic fork out of her hand. “And stop playing with your food. It’s annoying.”
She put her elbows on the table and propped her head in her hands, groaning and looking away from him.
“Sorry, but if you can see it, why can’t everyone else?” Brian looked at Sam to make his point.
“I don’t know. Maybe you guys just can’t… Shit!” She pushed her tray forward.
“What?” I looked up from my brownie. Kareena’s eyes were locked onto someone sitting at another table. I couldn’t pinpoint who.
“What is it?” Brian stared in the same direction. “Who are you looking at?”
“That guy with the blonde hair
and the red t-shirt. The one with the energy drink in his hand.”
“Haven’t seen him before,” Brian said. “I think he’s a freshman. I don’t know. A little young for you, don’t you think?”
“Damn it, Brian! Listen!” Kareena’s eyes widened and she shot up from the bench. “There’s something in him. He’s… glowing.”
I stood up, too, freaked out by her allegations. “Lower your voice, Kareena,” I hissed. The entire lunchroom didn’t need to hear us. “What do you mean you can see something in him?”
She stared, holding her breath, fixated like a cat stalking prey. He was talking to another student and hadn’t noticed the four of us gawking at him.
“It’s faint, but it’s, like, alive,” she continued, her voice cracking. “It’s a small ball of white light with some kind of black dust coiling around it. I think it’s sleeping. The glow keeps fading in and out like a heartbeat.”
“That got poetic real fast.” Brian exhaled. “Come on. This is all a little crazy, don’t you think?”
“No!” She swerved around. “Do you think I’m joking, Brian? I’m not.” She lunged at him, grabbing him by the sides of his face and pulling him closer. “Do I look like I’m joking?” Her nostrils flared.
“Ah!” Brian grimaced and forced her off him, blinking and shaking his head like he’d been blinded by a camera flash. “What did you do to me?” He grunted, holding his head in his hands, doubling over. “Damn it, Kareena! What did you…”
“Brian! Brian, are you okay?” He wouldn’t look at me.
His face came back up and his gaze shot across the room at the boy in the red shirt. “Jesus. She’s right,” he said. “I can see it. And that girl behind him, too.”
“You’re right,” Kareena replied with a nod, her gaze locking onto someone else I couldn’t pick out.
Brian looked at me, his eyes skimming over my shoulder and then across Kareena’s face. “I can see ours, too.” He bent over, groaning and rubbing his temples. “Ugh, my head.”
“Now you know how I feel,” Kareena sneered. “Migraines are shit, aren’t they?”