Fluorescence: The Complete Tetralogy

by P. Anastasia

  “Yeah.”

  “Wow. Your girlfriend’s real pretty, Brian,” he whispered out of the side of his mouth while leaning toward me. No filter at all. Cute.

  “Yeah. She is.” I laughed.

  Alice blushed. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about you, Peter. It’s nice to meet you,” she said, offering him a hand to shake.

  “No!” Kareena shrieked, lunging across the table to slap Alice’s hand away. She stared at Peter with widened eyes and her face went pale. “Don’t touch him!”

  Alice and I stared.

  We knew that face. The wild-eyed, holy expletive, I-just-saw-something-crazy-that-you-can’t face.

  Peter was infected.

  “Wh-what’s wrong?” Peter asked, frowning.

  Alice tucked her hand away into her sweater pocket.

  “Nothing,” I intercepted. “Alice is… a little sick, that’s all. Yeah. She’s got a cold. A really bad cold and we don’t want you catching it.”

  Alice faked a sneeze.

  “Oh. She looks okay.” He shrugged.

  “Well, that’s how this cold is. You look fine and then all of a sudden…” I gagged, pretending I was dying of something horrible and then dropped my head down onto the picnic table with a thump. He got the message and backed away from Alice, moseying over to stand beside Kareena instead.

  “Hi. I’m Peter,” he said, beaming.

  “Hi,” Kareena muttered, rolling her eyes and shifting in her seat.

  “Be nice to him, please.” I glared at her. And I meant it. Now more than ever.

  If Kareena was right, things were starting to happen around us.

  I wasn’t going to let Peter become part of this.

  Chapter 10

  I stopped to look around, sinking back from the crowd of bustling students rushing off the bus. Alice wasn’t waiting for me in the parking lot.

  I texted her.

  No response.

  I headed up the entryway stairs into the school. Down the hall. Toward our lockers. There I found her, crumpled over on the floor, her back against the lockers, knees pulled up to her chest and her face down in her folded arms. Sam sat beside her with an arm slung over her shoulders. My heart plummeted into my stomach.

  “Alice!?” I knelt and tried to pry one of her hands out of her lap. She wouldn’t budge. “Alice? What’s wrong?” Patches of tear-soaked denim darkened her knees. I looked frantically at Sam.

  “She’s been like this all morning,” she said. “Do something, Brian. Maybe she’ll listen to you.” Sam stood and backed away to give us some space.

  “Come on. You have to talk to me.” I nudged Alice’s shoulder gently. “Alice? Please?”

  Alice brought her face up, cheeks and nose flushed bright red. Her eyes shimmered with tears. Her lips were wet and quivering.

  “I can’t do this anymore,” she murmured, then dropped her face back down onto her knees and continued sobbing.

  “Do what? What’s wrong, Alice? You’re not telling me anything.” I tried to force her hands off her knees again, but she jerked away and snapped back into her closed-off position. I flopped down beside her and thrust my back against the locker doors. “I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me!” I crossed my arms.

  I sat with her, silently watching students rush to class. Anticipating the ring of the bell. Expecting someone to come and scold us for being late.

  “What’s going on?” Kareena approached and bent over slightly, looking down at Alice and tipping her head. “Wait. Oh my God!” She gasped and covered her mouth.

  “What? What is it?” I straightened up. “Kareena?”

  “I want to go home,” Alice muttered, turning her face toward me. “Brian, I just want to go home.”

  “Please, tell me what’s wrong first,” I tried again, pressing my hand into her shoulder and scooting closer.

  “They think they can do whatever they want to me,” she grumbled. “That I’m just a body. A shell. I’m not supposed to be a science experiment.”

  “What did they do to you, Alice? What did they do to…” I lowered my voice. “The baby?” I came to my knees and flicked my hair out of my face. “Alice. Talk to me. I know it’s your body, but the baby—she’s ours. I need to know what’s happening.”

  “There isn’t one,” Kareena said grimly.

  “What?” I craned my neck back to look at her. “What do you mean?”

  “The baby,” Kareena continued. “It’s gone. I don’t see the second light inside her. I think it’s gone, Brian. I think they…”

  “Shit! No. Just like that? Without telling us?” I stood and reached down to help Alice to her feet. “Is this true, Alice? Did they…”

  She jerked away from me.

  “I don’t know. Maybe. I think.” She wrapped her arms around herself and hunched over. “I just… I feel… horrible right now. Empty. My stomach hurts. I want to go home. I want to be left alone.” Her shuddering breaths made my heart ache. Tears kept pouring from her eyes.

  “Allie?” Sam stepped closer to us and reached a hand up to grasp Alice’s shoulder. “Please tell me what’s going on. Please. You guys are scaring me with all of this… baby stuff.”

  “Kareena?” I looked at her. “Explain to Sam what happened, okay? Take her somewhere you can talk quietly. I need to take care of Alice right now.”

  Jane wouldn’t be back from work for several more hours—a staff training session had kept her from responding to any of my calls—so I had to take things into my own hands.

  “Come on, Alice. I’ll take you home, okay?”

  She finally looked up into my eyes.

  “Thank you,” she murmured, and then sniffled loudly, her throat and nose congested.

  “But I’m not leaving you alone,” I added firmly.

  “I’ll tell the nurse she got sick so they know where you guys went,” said Sam, reaching to brush her fingers over Alice’s hand. “Take care of yourself, okay? Take care of her, Brian.”

  “I will.”

  Kareena looked at me, pity filling her eyes and making them go red. A frown tugging at her lips. Her eyeliner a little smudged.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

  . . .

  As soon as we got back to the house, I had Alice sit on the couch and then texted Jane to let her know what had happened. I also called the Jamesons. Sue picked up and then proceeded to threaten me with warnings about playing hooky from school with my court day so close at hand. I wanted to be honest with her—which is why I had called in the first place. But I didn’t need the third degree.

  Eventually, she drove me over the edge.

  “Tell me the truth, Brian,” she’d said, in a stern tone.

  I glanced over at Alice, who had collapsed into a blubbering mess on the couch, and I decided to take the conversation into another room so it wouldn’t upset her further.

  Then I told Sue the truth about Alice—the pregnancy, at least. Well, half of the truth. Getting pregnant against her will. Losing the baby after she’d come to terms with wanting to keep it. I didn’t tell Sue the baby was actually mine.

  “Does her mother know?” Sue asked.

  “Yes. Of course. We told her a while back. As soon as we found out.”

  Then she asked me why we didn’t go to the police about what had happened.

  “It’s complicated. We’ve already done everything we can. Trust me.”

  “Oh…” I heard her sigh. “I hope she’ll be okay. It’s… hard losing a baby. Especially in the second trimester. She’ll need a little time to recover. But, you know, Brian, maybe it’s best for you both. God’s way of helping her move forward. Of helping you both start fresh.”

  Sue—a devout Christian—thought everything was God’s will, even the death of her beloved daughter Grace, as tragic as it had been. Grace had died in the line of duty. She’d sacrificed herself for others, just like Christ ha
d. That’s what Sue had told me, at least.

  By this point, she’d concluded that Alice had been raped—not completely untrue, considering how the pregnancy had, in fact, been forced on her—and that I was stepping up to take responsibility because I loved her—also not completely untrue. She could think that if she wanted to. Anything to take the blame off Alice. Off me. It had never been our fault to begin with.

  The (partial) truth put things into perspective for her, and she backed off after that, realizing how very important the guardianship issue really was for me—for us. I had to get away from my mother. I had to protect Alice.

  “I need to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can, I swear. Please don’t tell anyone else about this. Tell Peter I got caught up at work so he doesn’t worry about me.”

  “I understand,” Sue replied, and hung up.

  I went back into the living room. Alice had nestled her face against the arm of the couch and fallen asleep. I touched her cold hand and then left the room briefly to grab a blanket for her.

  I sat on the nearby ottoman for a while, watching her stir in her sleep, whimpering lightly. Digging her fingers into the couch periodically. She must have been in the middle of some horrible nightmares. Or memories…

  It hurt me to see her in pain, but there was nothing I could do. Even I had grown fond of the whole baby idea, and now they’d snatched her away from us. Even if Alice had suggested they take the baby back, they didn’t have to do it without warning.

  Poor Alice got the worst of it—the physiological effects of losing a baby. The Saviors likely had it locked up safe in some sort of cryogenic freezer. A little timer on the case set for Alice’s eighteenth birthday. Thinking about it made me sick to my stomach.

  I wish they’d told us first. She’d had no chance to mentally prepare—not that it was something we could have prepared for—but they’d waited longer than I’d expected them to. We thought they’d forgotten the request by now.

  The Saviors had a way of doing that—making us forget about them and then stepping back into our lives right when our guard was down.

  I leaned down to kiss her cheek.

  She groaned and wriggled under her blanket, pulling it up to her nose.

  As if the mental anguish hadn’t been enough, she was probably suffering from a sort of postpartum depression—something usually caused by giving birth, but also known to occur after miscarriages and even abortions. With the Saviors involved, neither had likely happened, but that wouldn’t stop the pain she felt over the loss.

  KAREENA: How’s Alice?

  ME: She’s… OK I guess

  There wasn’t much to say.

  KAREENA: Let me know how she’s doing

  ME: I will

  KAREENA: THX

  KAREENA: Sorry :( Glad she has U

  I tucked my phone into my pocket.

  Alice went back to sleep. I stayed there, trying to come up with a way to make her feel better. I felt so damn helpless.

  Jane left work an hour early. I heard the car pull into the driveway. She came in and tossed her keys onto the kitchen counter.

  “How is she?” she asked, looking at me first and then at her daughter. “Oh, my baby.” She knelt down beside Alice and caressed her cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m sure the baby’s fine,” I said, trying to be optimistic. “They’re probably just keeping her temporarily.”

  “Leave me alone,” Alice said, stirring.

  “Alice?” I reached out to touch her. “Is there anything I can do at all? Tell me.”

  “No.”

  Jane looked at me and shrugged. “I think she needs time, Brian. This is hard on her body. It’s trying to cope with the sudden changes.”

  Grief takes time, but she needed time I didn’t have. I couldn’t stay with her all day. Or all week for that matter. Not until the petition had been honored.

  “I want to be here for her, though,” I replied. “I feel so useless otherwise.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll take tomorrow off and stay home with her so you won’t have to worry.” She forced a smile. “Will that make you feel better?”

  “I guess.” I shrugged. Nothing could really make me feel better. Nothing but knowing Alice would be okay.

  “I promise you I’ll keep a close eye on her. I won’t let her be alone. You can even come see her after school if the Jamesons are okay with it.”

  “They will be. I… sort of told them what was going on.”

  Jane’s eyes widened. “What? You told them about—”

  “No. No. I just told them enough to keep them off my back. Enough to keep them from asking too many questions. Enough to make them understand how much I needed to leave school today.”

  “Thanks, Brian, for doing that. Telling the truth helps, even if it is a little distorted. To be honest, I’m dreading our court date. It will be here before I know it. Less than two weeks. I just hope everything goes well.”

  “Don’t be so worried, Jane.” I put my hand onto her shoulder and smiled genuinely. “I am more than thankful for what you’ve done for me. I can’t imagine any other kid my age being so lucky. I know you’re a good mother. Be yourself and the judge will see that, too.”

  Chapter 11

  Waves of dark hair danced around Alice’s face, roused by a gust of brisk autumn wind. She swept the stray locks behind her ears. Her toes curled into the sand and she gazed off into the distance. A quiet sigh slipped from her lips, and she closed her eyes and leaned her head against my shoulder.

  We sat barefoot on the beach, watching waves crash against the shoreline. I inhaled deeply, the breeze teasing my nostrils with a salty sweetness.

  People walked their dogs along the water, some tossing flying discs for them to catch, others enjoying a jog. Children bounced beach balls at the water’s edge. Others built sandcastles in the fading light of dusk.

  I took Alice’s hand into mine and cupped it tightly in my lap. Taking her to the beach was my attempt at helping her to focus on other things. Fresh air. New sounds and sights. Anything to get her out of the house—out of the downward spiral of depression. Anything to keep her mind occupied.

  She had wanted to shut me out, and that had hurt. Depression is a difficult beast. It causes a biological change in the brain and has to be dealt with carefully, and in our case, without medical attention. We had to make sure Alice was eating properly and keeping up her strength. I had to get her out of the house and keep her moving, looking forward, forgetting what had happened.

  The Jamesons knew I needed to spend extra time with Alice and adjusted their strict curfew for that reason. But then work got tough. Things added up and my ability to pay attention to anything other than my two biggest worries quickly dwindled. I worried about Alice and the court day constantly.

  If it took an hour every day of just sitting silently beside her on the ocean shore, holding her hand, and providing a shoulder for her to cry on when she needed it, I’d do it. I’d do it for as long as I had to. Whatever was necessary to bring my Alice back.

  . . .

  I took a deep breath and exhaled, brushing my hair back with a comb, checking the mirror to make sure my tie looked straight. I’d outgrown the suit I’d worn at last year’s dance, but thankfully Thomas had one I could borrow that fit. With a few adjustments.

  Court day fell on a Monday, two weeks before Christmas break. I was nervous as hell. Nervous about what I might say… or forget to say. Nervous the fluorescence would flare up and send the judge into a frenzy. Nervous the idiot Saviors would yank me out of the courtroom and then plop me back down, making me look like the crazy one.

  Alice texted me first thing in the morning a genuine (non-depressed) text. The first in almost two weeks. It lifted a weight off my shoulders. It gave me confidence.

  She’d finally come around.

  ALICE: I hope everything goes well. I’ll be thinking about you

  ME: Thanks. I’ll be
thinking of you, too

  ALICE: Thank you for everything…

  ALICE: I love you :)

  ME: I love you, too!

  Maybe she’d have me back tomorrow. Permanently.

  Maybe.

  If everything went well.

  Kareena’s father arrived early, before the Jamesons and me. We met outside the courthouse where he gave me a quick briefing and told me not to worry about anything. In the courtroom, he reviewed my case with the judge and then asked me a few questions about my mom’s history. I told the judge how she had attempted suicide once before—when I was younger—and how I had stopped her then, but had been too afraid to go to the police. The judge sympathized with me.

  I told him I’d gotten a job as soon as I’d been able to in order to get out of the house and take responsibility for myself. Make money. Afford transportation. He also asked me about my motorcycle, whose property it was and how I’d acquired the money to pay for it, considering a kid my age could not legally be bound by a loan. So I told him the truth—something I hadn’t even told Alice. Jane had sponsored me and I had paid her back for it in full already.

  I’d mentioned it to my mother a while back, but she’d wanted no part of it. I had no choice but to go to Jane; she knew where I was coming from and how badly I needed the help.

  “You’re very responsible for a young man your age,” the judge said with a tilt of his head. “It’s a shame more teenagers don’t take life quite as seriously as you seem to be doing.”

  The compliment caught me off guard and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

  “Though I regret finding you in court under such unfortunate circumstances. Children need to grow up in reliable and safe environments. This doesn’t seem to be the case for you with the severity of your mother’s mental condition escalating.” He adjusted his glasses, propped an elbow on the desk in front of him and rested his chin in his hand. “Let me ask you something, Brian.”