by Linda Cajio
She drew in a deep breath. “Yes.”
Nine
Miles grimaced. This wasn’t quite what he’d had in mind. He had hoped they would meet in a more intimate setting, not his office. His gleaming walnut desk might as well have been an ocean between them. He was certainly no closer to her than he’d been when she called an hour ago. He really had to cut down on his optimistic streak.
“We didn’t have to do this here,” he said.
Sitting back in the deep wing chair, Catherine just looked at him. “My office was hardly appropriate.”
“I meant we could have met in a restaurant.”
“Miles, could we just get down to business?”
She wasn’t budging an inch, he thought. As usual. Catherine was the most uncompromising woman he’d ever met. And he’d never been more miserable without her. Today she looked … defeated. The turquoise suit she wore was modest, yet it outlined her body in a way that sent his pulse racing. He knew what lay underneath. Her auburn hair was pulled back from her face, emphasizing its strong features, yet leaving her vulnerable. His hands itched to reach for her and pull her into his arms. The past three days had been terrible, the nights worse. Everything had blown up in his face, and he didn’t know how to fix it. Deciding to take it slow, he said, “I’m surprised you changed your mind.”
“Did your grandmother tell you about the codicil?”
He nodded. “I still can’t believe she was so mistaken.”
“Neither can I.”
She shifted in her chair, and the delicious scent of her perfume floated across the room to torture him with remembrances. His blood throbbed in reaction. He wanted to forget the plan and make love. Catherine wouldn’t cooperate, though. Dammit.
“I knew Grandmother was getting older,” he managed to say, sensing she wouldn’t appreciate a sudden lunge across the desk. “But I didn’t think she could get things so mixed up. Do you think she could be wrong about being wrong? I’m perfectly willing to keep my guy on it.”
Catherine shrugged, as if indifferent. He knew better.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt,” she said. “Although it seems senseless now. I may not believe it, but I can’t help feeling that it’s true.”
“I take it the lack of a codicil is what changed your mind about my plan.”
She looked away, then back. “Yes.”
“Would you leave a maniac in charge of the Green Earth Society?” he asked, deciding to give her an example she would understand.
She blinked. “No.”
“That’s what you would be doing with Wagner Oil.”
“Miles, I already said I was reconsidering.”
“Then stop acting like you’re a murderer!”
“I’m not!”
“Okay.” With effort, he calmed himself. This arguing was getting both of them nowhere. Working on this together would keep them in constant contact. He ought to be concentrating on the opportunities that would provide. “I’ve been thinking about this, and we have several advantages at the moment. Byrne has not handled the media well, which has damaged the company. Profits were down by 4 percent this morning. Four more percent over last week’s slight decrease. Everyone is hot to stop further embarrassment, and they’re realizing that won’t be accomplished through Byrne. Also, they’re beginning to take environmental measures seriously, especially since that’s what got them into trouble in the first place. And last, Wagner Oil has a balloon payment due next month on the exploration loan I put together for them.”
“How is that an advantage?” Catherine asked, puzzled.
“Because they don’t have the money for it. Not all of it, anyway.” Miles grinned. “Byrne’s going to have to ask the bank consortium for an extension of credit.”
“Will the consortium demand the entire payment?”
“I can recommend to them that they make the extension … if the company shows that it is turning around its current problems.”
She raised her eyebrows. “And you’ll tell my relatives they have to clean up their act, or else.”
“I will suggest it strongly.” He chuckled. “I will also suggest strongly that cleanup begins at home.”
“And what do I do in all this?” she asked in a cool voice.
“You continue to be the voice of reason and progress, which I will point out at every turn. I will make it clear that you are my choice for a new chairperson.” He added sternly, “And you stay home at night. No risky Earth Angel stunts. If you’re caught, everything is ruined.”
“You’ve certainly planned this all out.”
“I haven’t had anything else to do for the past three days.”
She didn’t answer.
He sighed. “Catherine, I’ll be the bad guy in all of this, not you. Do you understand that?”
She nodded, then looked down at her hands. “It seems so … easy.”
“Only because the time is right. And it won’t be easy, believe me.”
She focused her gaze on his desk, clearly needing to think. He sat back and gave her the opportunity, while giving himself the opportunity to drink in the sight of her. He felt parched after the drought of days and nights without her. She sat unmoving. How she could be so still amazed him. She always seemed to bring energy into the room with her. At least she sparked quite a lot of it in him.
The minutes dragged out. He began to worry. Catherine looked up at last.
“What’s the extra wastebasket for?” she asked.
He blinked, then grinned broadly. “For recycling my paper. I’m separating my trash according to type. Regular trash in one, paper in the other. I’ve discovered I have very little regular trash.”
“That’s nice. But what about the metal and leather wastebasket you’re putting them in?”
“It’s a rock group?” he asked dubiously.
“It’s not recyclable, and it’ll be around forever,” she answered, shaking her head. “Use grocery bags for your recycled paper. That way the container gets recycled too.”
He looked around at the expensive oak paneling, the cherrywood and leather furnishings, the Chinese carpets, and imagined a brown paper bag smack in the midst of it. “I’ll use this one forever instead. Have you decided yet?”
She made a face. “I hate this. And not just from a personal viewpoint. There’s a lot that could go wrong, and the company will still be vulnerable in some ways.” She paused. “But I don’t see any alternative.”
He smiled, enormously relieved. “Good. Now, we don’t have much time, so you better move back in with me—”
She was out of the chair and walking. “No, thank you.”
Miles leaped to his feet and ran around the desk, stopping her halfway to the door. “Hold on, Catherine—”
“I will not move back in with you, Miles. If this is part of your grand plan, then no deal.”
He took a deep breath. “We’re going to have to do a lot of planning. Long hours—”
“Then we’ll do it and then go home. Separately,” she said, smiling sweetly. “And that’s all we’ll be doing together.”
His brows drew together. So much for all those opportunities to be with her. Now what did he do? “You are like a brick wall, you know that?”
“I thought talking to me was like talking to the razor’s edge.”
“This relationship just started, Catherine. How am I supposed to know where it’s going? Let’s let it go—”
“That’s typical of you, Miles,” she broke in. “I still won’t be a notch on your belt.”
“What the hell makes you think it would ever be like that?” he demanded. “You have always treated me like I just climbed out of the primordial slime, and I never did a damn thing to you.”
“You ruined my life!” she exclaimed.
“What!” He stared at her. What was this new nonsense? “When? Tell me when.”
“The night of that party.” Her breath was coming in pants. “I had to take my bar exams the next day. And because o
f you, I had the worse scores in the history of the Pennsylvania Bar!”
He gaped at her, completely astonished. “Me! I didn’t do anything!”
“You asked me into your bed as if I were a piece of meat,” she said, bitterness pervading her voice. “I was engaged, the wedding invitations had gone out. I had to pass that bar—”
“I didn’t even know you were taking it!”
“And it wouldn’t have mattered to you if you did.” Her eyes blazed, stinging him with her anger.
“But why did my propositioning you bother you that much?” Suddenly, the answer came to him. He grinned. She had wanted him even then. Enough to upset her equilibrium.
Her face turned red. “Damn you, Miles. I was humiliated, and you think it’s a joke.”
“I’m sorry about that, Catherine, but the guy was a jerk—”
“Whether he was or not isn’t the point. You never gave a damn that I was engaged.”
“I wouldn’t have given a damn whether you were married, Catherine. That’s how much I wanted you then.” He leaned close, breathing in her heat and letting it swell through his veins. “I wouldn’t give a damn if you were still married. That’s how much I want you now.”
She stepped back. He had the oddest feeling that he couldn’t have hurt her more if he had slapped her.
“And what happens to me when the next woman comes along that you want?” she asked. “You’ll go for her with all the morals of an alley cat, just as you did with me.”
“Wait a minute!” he said, angry and astounded by her accusations. “It’s ridiculous to say I ruined your life over one inci—”
“You miss the point. I can’t trust you, Miles, because you go for what you want whenever you want it. You don’t even hesitate over conscience. Look at how fast you’re going for what you want with Wagner Oil, no matter who it hurts. But I’ll say one thing for you. At least you’re honest in not wanting to make a commitment. You wouldn’t know how to honor it, so you don’t even try.” She walked to the door, then turned around. “I’ll do whatever I have to in order to save the company. But I won’t do anything more.”
She left his office, leaving him gaping.
Catherine raised her head from her pillow and swiped at her tears. She’d never in her life thought that she would be crying over Miles. She also never thought she’d humiliate herself by telling him exactly how much control he could exert over her.
Well, now he knew. He must think she was a lovesick teenager. And he would be right. It was the final blow to her dignity.
His recycling basket abruptly came to mind, and she smiled. She’d been touched to know he was trying to be environmentally responsible. Could he actually be trying to please her too?
If only he could … care. Really care. She wanted him so desperately, she’d risk it all if he loved her just a little.
“Snap out of it, dammit,” she muttered out loud. Loving Miles was a bad investment. He was too cold and ruthless to know how to love back.
She should face the fact that she was just as bad as he was in a lot of ways. Witness what she was doing now. Somehow the Earth Angel stunts had a lot more integrity attached to them than a knock-down-drag-out board fight. Something else bothered her about Miles’s plan. Something that had nothing to do with her family or working with him. She wished she knew what it was.
But what other option was there? She couldn’t think of even one.
The telephone rang. She didn’t feel like answering it, but decided she probably should. When she picked up the receiver, she discovered Miles on the other end of the line. She really ought to cut down on following her impulses, she thought.
“Have you changed your mind?” he asked, his voice sounding like fine wine. It hurt to hear it, even as she drank it in.
“No.”
“Are you going to walk out of my office again if I say something disagreeable?”
“No.”
“Hang up the telephone?”
“No.”
“Are you—”
“Miles, I’m not in the mood for Twenty Questions.” She rubbed the ache from her forehead. “What do you want?”
“We didn’t finish our discussion.”
“I thought we had.”
“I think we should be talking about a CEO for you, who will do the day-to-day running of the company. I have someone in mind.”
“Aren’t you rushing things?”
“I’m thinking ahead.” He paused. “I also called my banking consortium. They will leave Wagner Oil to my discretion for the moment.”
The plan was already moving forward, and she wasn’t ready for it. She sighed. “Okay.”
“This media reception is the time for you to really make an impression. It’s also the time for me to begin my end of the campaign. Do you know who’s going to be there?”
“Yes. The three networks and CNN are sending people, plus all the major newspapers. And city, state, and federal politicians are coming, even some environmental people. Uncle Byrne is flipping between conniption fits and overseeing every little detail of the reception.”
“Perfect. You can make a great debut. Be sure to talk to all of them. Say the right things.”
“Would you like to write them out for me?” she asked dryly.
“No. I trust you.”
She looked heavenward and shook her head. He’d turn into Vince Lombardy before the reception rolled around.
“Catherine, I’m sorry I caused you … pain before. I never meant to.”
His apology so surprised her, she couldn’t speak for a minute.
“Catherine?”
“Yes.” She cleared her throat. This was so unlike him, she didn’t know what to say. “I … Thank you, Miles.”
“Why don’t you retake the bar? There’s no limit to the number of times you can take it, right?”
“There is a limit to the number of times a person will humiliate herself,” she pointed out.
“You’ll pass. There’s no reason why you can’t. Or is it that you don’t really want to?”
“I’ve asked myself the same question over the years,” she admitted, smiling wryly. “I don’t have any desire to be a lawyer any longer. At least I don’t think I do.”
“You’d scare the pants off me if you were my opponent’s counsel.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was deep and serious. “Here comes the ‘don’t hang up’ part. Catherine, I miss you and I want you to come back.”
She gripped the receiver tightly against the temptation. “No.”
“You’re punishing me for something that happened years ago. I’m not the same person I was then. Hell, Catherine, I might have been detached about a lot of things at that time, but I don’t think I was the person you thought I was. I know I never would have been with you. You are not a one-night-stand woman.”
His words cut through the steel around her heart. She willed herself to stay calm. He was the wrong man for her, and she would not follow something that was doomed before it even started. “I’m not punishing you, Miles. But that incident did show me that your moral values and mine are vastly different.”
“I can’t make up for it, and I am not going to apologize for being so attracted to you that I acted on impulse. I certainly didn’t do it to insult you. All I’m asking for is time to let this new relationship grow between us. Why is that so bad? Why do you want to rush something just for the sake of commitment?”
“I’m not rushing anything,” she denied, even as she wondered if he was right. “I’m afraid you’re incapable of making a commitment.”
“That was blunt enough.” He was silent for a moment. “What will break the impasse between us?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. She was tired of fighting him. She had to, though, for her own sanity. “I don’t know that there’s anything that can. It’s not an impasse. It’s a fact of life. Goodbye, Miles.”
She set the receiver back in its cradle.
“Cather
ine! What the hell are you wearing?”
Miles stared open-mouthed at Catherine’s gown. The brocade material had jeweled threads running through it, giving the long slim skirt a glittering look. But the gown completely backless, and the V neckline in the front plunged so deep, it exposed the inner curves of her breasts. She looked absolutely stunning, elegant, sophisticated, and sexy. Too sexy. They were standing in the foyer of the hotel ballroom where the media reception was being held, and she was already attracting attention. Twin urges run rampant through him. One was to kill any man who feasted his gaze on what belonged to him, and the other was to make love to her.
After that first painful conversation a few days ago, they had had several more congenial ones. He’d hung in there, courting her slowly. But not once had she mentioned this dress!
She smiled innocently as she tucked her oversized evening bag under her arm. “It’s a gown, Miles. You know what they are. Ankle-length dress, lots of material, very dramatic.”
“It looks like a shortfall of material to me,” he said. He should have known disaster was looming when she’d been late arriving. He pulled her off to the side of the foyer, far away from lecherous eyes. “I should have approved your clothes for tonight.”
She eyed him. “Don’t even think it, Miles.”
He took a deep breath. He had a big job to do here, both of them did. They ought to be talking about that, not about a dress that made him sigh in pleasure and growl in possession. But he couldn’t let it go. “You’re not going in like that.”
She blinked. “Miles, you wanted me to look my best. This is my best.”
“Damn straight it is,” he muttered. “I don’t like it.”
“You don’t get a vote.” She whirled on her peacock-blue heels and walked into the reception.
He followed behind her, frowning darkly. He should have picked her up at her house, and he should have made damn sure she never left it. Jealously, pure and simple, was what he was suffering from. The experience was new.
Everything about Catherine was new—including the shock from their past. She was punishing him. That small piece of youthful impulse had cost him dearly. Now he would have to earn her back. Unfortunately, he had no idea how.