What would a man like him see in me, anyways? I’ve got scars, inside and out, massive self-esteem issues, fears out the wazoo and, good God the man looks like he deserves his own statue of remembrance. It would be titled, “Oh perfect one.”
As I settle myself back under the covers, mortified of having been caught gawking at his upper body, he comes barreling into my room with a pair of pajama bottoms on and fluffy moccasin house shoes, smoke practically billowing out of his ears.
Normally, I’d be cowering in the corner now, but I’m still certain he won’t hurt me. Yelling is way different than punching, this I know all too well.
“What the fuck, Jamie?” His arms are in the air, flailing.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were in the shower. Please, forgive me.” The natural reaction my body has in these types of situations is to bow my head and avoid eye contact – so I do.
Noah doesn’t like that.
“Look at me.”
I chance a peek and hurriedly look back down.
He’s really upset.
“Jamie, I’m sorry. Look at me.”
I look back up and his shoulders have deflated, he’s moving closer to me, slowly, like testing the waters.
“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t see everything. The towel hanging on the door handle of the shower blocked your…gifts and down.”
He stopped at that and took a deep breath.
“Gifts?” His eyebrows raise.
“Well, what else do you suppose I call them?” If this conversation goes much farther, I very well may die from embarrassment myself and I wasn’t even the naked one.
“Well, I suppose gifts are pretty accurate.” Noah’s face lights up with a huge, cocky smirk.
Men.
“Sugar, if you wanted to see my gifts, all you had to do was ask.”
I knew he was joking and teasing me, but the thought thrilled me down to my toes.
Something inside me decided it was time to release the flood gates holding it all in.
Mischief glittered my face and twinkled in my eyes.
“Do you have a microscope and tweezers?” I fought to control myself at the stunned look on his face; I’d picked that insulting comeback up from a girl I shot with in Russia. They think girls from the ghetto are tough, they should sit down with a Russian girl. Yowza.
“Well, look at you, going hard on me.” He chuckled after somewhat composing himself.
“That’s what she said.” I shot back.
This was fun. No man ever let me talk to him or with him like this; not without calling me a bitch and storming out. Noah’s stormy mood seemed to clear up, too.
“I really am sorry.”
“It’s alright, sugar. I just... I didn’t want to scare you.”
I sat there silent, half hiding behind my blanket. I wasn’t sure if this was meant sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally or all of the above.
“You don’t scare me, Noah.” I told him, quietly. It didn’t lack the confidence or surety, just the volume. No matter how quiet it was though, I had no doubt his dog-like ears could hear it.
“Music to my ears, Jamie.” His lids closed and face transformed with some emotion I wasn’t able to place.
I was spared having to reply when there was a knock at my door and Taylor strolled in, not waiting for me to answer her.
“What’s shakin’ bacon?” She asked, chipper as ever, flopping onto my bed.
“Um...”
Noah laughed causing Taylor to sit up like she’d been electrocuted, whipping her head in his direction, taking him in for the first time.
“Oh…” She blushed and winked at Noah. “Did I interrupt something?”
I shouted, “No!” while he purred a seductive, “Yes.”
“You better not try and take advantage of her, or I’ll chop your balls off.”
Tay pointed her perfectly manicured, tiny finger at him.
“If I don’t beat you to it.” A rough, deep voice interjected from the doorway. The expression on his handsome face was one of intrigue and humor.
Tommy.
He nodded in my direction and added, “Mornin’, James.”
My answering nod is about all I am capable of. Thought and any form of speech has eluded me. Just my luck; I’m on a roll with insults when we get interrupted and I can’t even remember how to say, “Hi.”
“Shouldn’t you two be off on your honeymoon? Y’know, since you’ve just gotten married and all?” Noah says, smirking knowingly in their direction. Something else he knows that I’ve not got a clue about; story of my life though, I’m always the last to know anything.
“I knew it!” Taylor hollered at him, jumping up.
Tommy scowled, Taylor turned beet red, fuming and I sat there completely out of the loop while Noah laughed a hearty belly laugh. Nodding his head and trying hard not to cry from his voracious laughter, Noah replied, “I was there."
“You what?” Taylor choked, nearly plowing into him.
Tommy stepped forward also, looking ferocious. I’m also pretty sure he growled.
“Drunk as fuck, too. Good thing I saw yall there, because it sobered me up real quick. I left Cindy May sitting there. Still hasn’t spoken a word to me, to this day. Well, if you don’t count the profanities she hurls at me.” His laughter began to dissipate but the grin he wore was ear to ear.
“Wait, you actually know someone named Cindy May?” I asked, in complete disbelief. “Who hates their own kid that much?”
“It’s different in the country, Jamie.” Taylor answered, still clinging to Noah’s shoulders.
“Coming from the one with Sue as her middle name?” Noah laughed, eyebrow hitched.
“You wanna get cut?” Taylor defended me, slitting her eyes at him, knee raised in preparation of launch.
“Alright, down tiger.” Tommy said, pulling Taylor back.
“You know what? That’s okay. I got somethin’ for you.” She pointed her finger at him again, and turned to face me.
“Are you hungry?”
As if my stomach had ears of its own, it chose that moment to growl incredibly loudly, answering her question.
“Um…” I laughed lightly. “Yes.”
“I can feed her. You two go disappear somewhere.” Noah said.
“Taylor doesn’t want to leave.” Tommy told him.
She bit her lip and looked guiltily up at me. I knew that look. It’s how she looked at me when I had an attack and she was afraid to leave me.
“Taylor. Don’t. This is your honeymoon time and there is nothing I would love more than for you to go. Tommy planned something so beautiful for you. Please, go!” I used my hands to shoo her.
Taylor glanced from me to Noah, and then to Tommy, coming back to me.
“I…”
“No. Tommy, I do not want to see her for at least a week.” I demanded, using my diva tone. It was a tone of voice I perfected early on in my career; it’s why people also called me “Mega Bitch”. With all my phobias and need to be in control of myself, especially my career decisions, it just seemed easier for me if people wanted to avoid me. When people think you’re made of honey, they want to stick on, but if you’re made of vinegar, they stay far away never to mingle. Being Mega Bitch helped me to maintain space and control; though I never treated one person with disrespect, I was cold and calculating. My first few years my foster mother “managed me” while I was still a teenager. Then came along Taylor who brought Matt. Matty had never managed or represented a model before, though when I mentioned how I was without one, he jumped right on and put or rather kept me on a path to success.
“Seriously Annie O. Unless you’re ready to hide his cold, dead body and come see how a real man operates, take this major pain in my ass outta here. You’re doing us all a favor. One I’ll be sure to pay back later.” Noah nodded his head at her suggestively which was received by a sharp-tongued devil named Tommy who was having none of their on-going flirting.
Apparently they had been doing it for years just to irk him. Needless to say, it worked then and it works now.
“I’ll deal with you later.” She looked back to me and asked, “Matt can come stay with you?”
“I’ll be fine with Noah.” I answered her, not hesitating to answer.
All of their eyes opened marginally, staring at me.
“Go.” I point to the door.
She leaps over to me, jumping on the bed and wraps her arms around me.
“I love you like chocolate, James.” She says, same as always when she’s over the moon with me.
“I love you like french-toast, Tay.” I answer her, kissing her cheek and squeezing back.
She’s my best friend; as she says, she’s my sister from another mister…and misses.
Tommy comes over and grabs Taylor gently, throwing her over his shoulder like she’s a bag of air. “Call if you need anything. He might be my brother, but I’ll kill him if he does anything to make you uncomfortable or hurts you.” The look they exchanged conveys the message directly to Noah and he nods.
“Thanks, Tommy. Have fun.”
“Oh, I will.” He wiggles his brows at me comically and leaves.
“Is it just me or does Tay spend more time over his shoulder than she does with her feet on the ground?”
“I think you’re right, but it is sweet how much he loves her. A woman would do anything for a man that devoted and perfect.” A man who wouldn’t beat her senseless and pimp her out. I know I’d do anything for one of those men.
“You should have seen them when we were all younger. We all knew they were made for each other, despite Taylor’s vehement arguing. Even then, she was always hitching a ride on his back. They were ‘cute’ as women like to call it, at every age and stage of their relationship. We joked he was afraid to upset her but truthfully, they’ve always been on the same wavelength so what one thought, the other felt or agreed with. They never fought and the only time they were separated was when Tay left. Even slept together growing up.”
“Really?” I’m pretty sure my face looked comical with my brows pulled together and a silly smile on my lips.
“Oh yeah. Her daddy, Nic, trashed so many ladders. Tommy would wait ‘til bedtime and climb into her room with a ladder. It started when they were about 6. Taylor couldn’t or wouldn’t sleep without Tommy; said he chased her nightmares away. Ma and Mrs. Vic thought it was the most adorable thing and really, they were six – what trouble were they going to get in to?” He shrugged and chuckled at the memory.
“They kept it up from that first day until she left. When they were teenagers though, Nic laid down his foot and said that they could only do it if they left the door open and Tommy slept on the chaise in her room.”
“Wow. That is pretty adorable.”
He just agrees and stands there watching me.
“So, what was it that Taylor almost went all ghetto hood girl on you, over?”
“Ah. Well, Taylor and Tommy didn’t actually get married yesterday.”
“What do you mean? I was there.”
“They’ve actually been married since graduation night. 6 years ago.”
My jaw dropped.
“She never told me.” It was hard not to be hurt. Taylor knew some of my deepest and darkest secrets, mind you not all, but most.
“Don’t take it to heart, they never told anyone.”
It took me a few minutes to sort through the whole conversation.
“Cindy May?”
He grinned but had the good manners to appear nonchalant and unaffected.
“Drunken almost mistake.”
I just sat there, hoping mega bitch stayed hidden.
“You seem a little green.” His grin grew impossibly larger and he strode over to me, his house shoes clacking on the floor.
“Don’t you worry it none, sugar. I’m all yours.”
As I opened my mouth to respond, he slid his big strong fingers under my chin. Lifting my face up to him, he leaned down and brought his lips a hairsbreadth from mine. Our breaths mingled together, a chill ran down my spine and my lower belly was lit on fire. These reactions were really taking over and scaring me because I had no idea what to do with any of them. For all I knew, these foreign waters were shark infested.
His hot breath was minty and delightful. My eyes closed as I savored his nearness.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He whispered.
When I opened my eyes, he was gone without so much as a swish of movement.
Figuring I had nowhere else to go, I grabbed the laptop from where Noah set it last night and refreshed my email. I was still in shock that the whole world was actually looking for me. Taylor issued a statement and KJ Inc. was working hand in hand with the FBI to find me. Of course, I was a priority to the families so they found me without much help from the Feds; no big surprise. My email was chock full of messages from people I was never particularly close with and notifications from google. One night I was especially self-conscious so what did I do? The natural thing of course, I set up a google alert on my name. It appears I had been featured on the news a lot and in magazines, newspapers, social media sites and blogs. Not to sound conceited, but a lot of people really cared. That was so odd to me, though. It’s not like I was anyone’s best friend – aside from Taylor – I only had acquaintances and I was a model for goodness sake. As I sit there scrolling through my email, hitting delete on all the junk and google notifications, one email catches my eye.
From: Unknown
To: Jamie S. Wright
Subject: Keeping You
Sent: 08:48 a.m.
I still own you. He can’t keep you forever, bitch.
Tick tock.
Bile rises up my throat. I all but throw the laptop on the floor and run to the bathroom where everything I consumed in the past 24 hours has just met the toilet bowl. It’s as if all of my energy and strength exited with my stomach contents. By the time I’ve finished dry heaving for ten minutes I realize that there’s a cold wet cloth on my neck and my hair has been tied back; Noah stands beside me, rubbing my back and whispering soothing words. I don’t even have the energy to sit back on my haunches so I slump to the left and my face smooshes up against the cold glass of the stand-up shower encasement.
The sickly sweet smell of syrup and cinnamon sugar assaults my nose as I take a deep breath.
“You smell like french-toast.”
He chuckles and raises a shoulder. “Better than puke.”
“Mean.”
“You want mean, I bring back my original question: This, coming from the one whose middle name is Sue? How are you born in one of the nastiest project, raised by a pimp and junkie whore, and come out with a middle name like Sue?”
“Apparently it was the only bit of heart left in the space heater; it was her mother’s name.”
He sucked in a breath when I called my biological “mother” a space heater. “Did you ever meet your grandparents?”
“As far as I know, they’re all dead. I suppose with all the money I’ve made I should look into that sometime.”
“As curious as you are, I’m surprised you haven’t already.” Noah stood awkwardly, slowly approached and then lifted, cradling me to his chest.
“Wait, I need to brush my teeth.” I protested, talking away from his face.
“I’ll bring you your toothbrush and a cup with water.”
“Fine, but my bed really isn’t where I want to be.” I hadn’t really meant that the way it sounded – which I also didn’t hear until after I said it.
“Well sugar, I’d invite you over to my place, but I’m a man and it’s not exactly tidy.”
“That’s not what I meant. Wait – how is your room trashed already? Didn’t you just get in there, like…” I looked over at the clock and counted in my head. “Twelve hours ago?”
“I already told you, I’m a man. We’re disgusting and messy.”
When Noah laid me down, Diesel j
umped up on the bed and cuddled his head under my hand.
“He came and got me.”
“You mean you didn’t hear me with those supersonic ears of yours?”
“Oh, I did. He came just as I was coming up the back staircase.”
He walked away, disappearing in the bathroom for a second before he came back out with my toothbrush and two cups.
“So, say your grandparents are alive. Then what?” Noah asks.
“Well, then I would want to know what kind of people leave their grandchild with two monsters and not a word from them as I flutter through the foster care system like the flash of a camera on shutter.”
Regardless of how I talk or how angry I get, it hurts my heart so deeply to know that someone could be out there for me. Even worse to know that they just abandoned me.
Unable to look him in the eye without losing it completely, I closed my eyes and laid back into the pillows.
“What the hell is this?” Noah demanded, angrily.
My eyes had been closed long enough that when I opened them the light made me squint to adjust; I look over to Noah who is standing over where I threw the laptop – the laptop he is now holding and staring at.
“Oh.” It suddenly occurs to me that I’ve forgotten to mention it to him.
Noah visibly grinds his teeth and cracks his neck. I do what I do best and cower.
“Jamie.” He breathes. “What the hell is this?”
“I don’t know who sent it and I only just saw it. It’s why I got so sick in the first place.”
“That explains why it was thrown on the ground.” He murmurs.
“I’m sorry. If I broke it, I’ll buy Taylor a new one.” I say, timidly.
“It ain’t Taylor’s.”
“Tommy then.”
He laughed silently and shook his head.
“0 for 2 there, sugar dumplin’.”
I scrunched down into a ball and peeked over my knees. “Peyton’s?” I half-heartedly guessed knowing whose it really was. Dangit. The one guy I ever start to feel anything for and I start off by freaking out on him and breaking his things. Oh, and apparently I’m also a voyeur now, too.
The Lord was surely testing me.
Keeping You: KJ Elite Inc. Page 4