* * *
“Quick, we probably only have thirty to forty minutes. Spill everything.” Taylor demands, flopping us down on a fluffy microfiber couch. I still don’t have much weight so both of us combined helps us to sink in real deep except we’re connected at the hip. Not that mind, Taylor isn’t a threat to me – that’s the one thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt in this whole world.
“How was your honeymoon? How’s the apartment? And Mrs. Jenkins?” I ask, throwing the spotlight back on her. Waiting for her to answer, I twist and toss my legs to the left, laying my head in her lap. She picks up my hair to play with and narrows her eyes at me.
“Nice try. The honeymoon was fabulous except for the part where Jason showed up after hearing I was in town. Creeper status much? There were obscene amounts of hot, sweaty sex on pretty much every surface so be glad you aren’t going back. Oh, but not on your stuff, so you’re in the clear. The apartment is fine, being packed up as we speak and Mrs. Jenkins is still nosey as freakin’ ever, gardening to her hearts content which is actually a funny and ironic phrase considering Tommy told me what she’s actually doing on the roof. Growing pot. Says she has a bad heart. HAH! Can you believe it? Now your turn. Spill.”
My eyebrows were drawn in and I had to let all of her jumbled rant process. Why would Jason show up at our apartment? He was this insanely hot and very famous guy who was named America’s number one most eligible bachelor. Last I heard he was interested in Tay but considering the fact that Tay and Tommy were married it seems weird that he would show up.
“Why was Jason at the apartment?”
“Oh. Okay, so long story short he thought I wanted him chase me and he really digs that kind of shit. I told him no, Tommy told him no, he got your note that D-bag made you write and showed up to profess his undying like. Told Tommy it wasn’t over and if I ever doubted our union that he would sniff it out and use it against Tommy to win me over. I guess he thought I was in town alone? I don’t really know. Sorry, I forgot to tell you.”
I winced when she mentioned my note. Dillon held me at knifepoint and forced me to write something as if I were Taylor. At the time I was drugged and terrified so I just did what he said. It still hurt to know I caused some kind of turmoil.
I opened my mouth but she put her tiny hand over it.
“Stop. Don’t even try to apologize, it wasn’t your fault. The end.”
“What happened when he showed up?”
“Well, let’s just say that he won’t be seen in public for a while and if he is, it’ll be with about twelve pounds of makeup on.”
She wiggled her nose and giggled.
“Now what is going on with you and Noah?”
“Isn’t he like your brother? Do you really want to know?”
Taylor is probably the only person who knows most about me. More than anyone else at least.
I really needed her advice so I hope she says yes but I don’t wanna push her.
“I ain’t too proud to b-e-e-e-e-e-e-g, sweet darlin’!” She sang horrendously.
A loud laugh escaped my throat and my chest shook. There is nothing like having quality time with your best friend. I really took it for granted.
“Jeez. Noah was right. You really are doing so much better. I’m proud of you. Don’t let him win.”
Too sentimental right now.
“Noah put his fingers in me and then sucked on them. Then I gave him head in the shower.” I blurted. Then followed my “Oh my God” with a facepalm.
This is one of those moments like Mike Birbiglia talks about; “What I should have said was nothing, what I did say was, ‘you’d be surprised’.” Except it’s not about me being a potential rapist.
I’m pretty sure Taylor’s head just went through the roof and if this room weren’t sound proofed, she probably would have alerted everyone to run in here by her shrieking death siren. This time, I threw my hand on her mouth.
“Okay. Um. Wow. Let me process.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Jamie, that’s not just doing better. That’s like…holy crap.”
I just lay there and wait. My mind has had long enough to process our progress and surprisingly, I’m on board with it all. In fact, I want a lot more.
“Are you okay with how fast yall are moving? I mean, technically yall aren’t really moving all that fast considering you’ve been home for over a month and living in his house. Do you want some kind of commitment from him?”
“I feel pretty good about it. Honestly, my body just moves with him and my hormones take over. There isn’t much thinking happening. I wanted to give myself time to see if I’d flip out, but I haven’t. He’s…gosh, Tay, he’s surreal. On more than one occasion Noah has told me that he’s all mine and I have him completely.”
I bit my lip and her eyes widened to saucers.
“Jamie, that’s fucking huge. Noah has always been a downright whore.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Shit, sorry. I just mean that he didn’t even have a steady girlfriend in high school. Noah never repeated a girl. Ever. I would bet it all that he hadn’t changed his ways since.”
“Great, so if I sleep with him, I’ll also sleep with every woman in Devine that yous guys went to school with?”
“I’m not making this better for him. You’re getting really annoyed.”
“Am not.” I grumbled.
“You just said ‘yous guys’. You only go straight New Yorker when you’re annoyed and or defensive.” She said pointedly.
“I have to ask you something and I really need to know the answer.”
“How do you know I know the answer?”
Now she was nervous. Good. She dug her own hole. Hers and Noah’s both.
“You know, that little sweetheart Louisa sure looks a lot like a certain black hair, grey eyed guy we both know.”
“No. Absolutely not.” Taylor said, her voice raised an octave, shaking her head.
“I need to know, Taylor. Please,” I begged.
“That’s what I’m telling you, James. Louisa is not his. First of all, he doesn’t do anything without protection. I mean condom and she has to be on the pill to have a shot at getting him in the sack. That baby is not Noah’s.”
“You’re absolutely positive?”
I can’t help but bite my cheek nervously.
“One hundred and twelve percent. Tommy said he even announced it to the guys when he introduced Baby on Friday.” She nodded and went back to braiding my hair.
I closed my eyes, letting out a deep breath I was holding in unknowingly.
“Why not just ask him yourself, James?” Her tone wasn’t harsh or judgmental; just curious.
“I didn’t want to upset him. I mean, he mentioned he never thought he could have kids but that was before I saw little Louisa. It’s almost uncanny. And the way he dotes on her. I had to be sure. Even if she was his, I wouldn’t mind but I don’t know…”
“I get it. You trust him and that scares the pants off of you. You’re subconsciously trying to find something that makes it easier to break away if the time comes. It’s just how you’ve always been. Cut and run. Trust is scary.”
“Geez, is that what this is? I thought I was losing my mind.”
“Well, it’s trust and love.”
She winked and hugged my upper body to hers. I inhaled her soothing scent; Tay always smelt like strawberry gloss and candy – her vices. It was a smell I associated with safety and home. Probably because she’s been my only family and roommate for five years now.
“Love?” I cough-choked when I realized what she had said.
“L-o-v-e, baby! Doesn’t it make you want to puke and jump for joy?”
We both laughed, hard.
“I’ve never loved anyone, Taylor.” I said, sobering.
“Sure you have. You love Matt and me. It’s just different because, well, I think it’s obvious.” She grinned.
“So… should I tell him?”
&
nbsp; “Hmm. I think that’s up to you. Some guys might freak out about it but Noah isn’t most guys. I don’t think it’ll make a difference either way. Plus, I think it’ll be fun to see his face when he finds out.”
“You lucked out.”
“Well, if Noah pussies out, I’m sure there’s a long line of men in this very building who are only too willing to step up.” Taylor said laughing.
I cringe at her use of the p word which only makes her laugh harder.
“Good Lord, Jamie. Just say it. Do it, one time. It can be shit, fuck, damn, bitch, ass, cock – anything. Just say a vulgar word. It’s good for the soul.”
I flew up and flipped around to face her.
“I can’t.”
“It’ll make you feel good. C’mon! Peer pressure, peer pressure, peer pressure!” She chanted, pumping her fists like a cheerleader.
She’s not going to leave me alone. Last time, she and Matt followed me around for two weeks nagging me until I whispered “Hell.” I’m pretty sure she won’t let me get away with saying it this time.
“Sugar-honey-iced-tea.”
There. I mean, it’s close, right?
“Nice try. Let er’ rip!” She hollers.
“I want to…agh, I want to fuck Noah.” To my utter shock, I shouted the last four words whilst flinging my arms out.
Taylor’s jaw dropped. It’s somewhere around China, I think.
“You’re a horrible influence.” I accused, pointing at her.
Taylor closed her mouth and swallowed before grinning again. “You just skipped all those baby words and jumped right up to the boss, huh?”
“Don’t you always tell me ‘go big or go home’ in all those pep talks?”
She chuckled, “Yeah, I guess I do. Good for you. How long until I can get you to say another one?”
“I’m thinking I’m full up until about 4.7 years from now. That was a doozy.”
“You’re the whitest, most correct, bi-racial, New Yorker I’ve ever met.”
“It is what it is.” I reply, shrugging my shoulders.
“See. A straight enigma. So…you wanna fuck him, huh?” She bit her bottom lip.
“Ugh. You couldn’t just let it go?”
“Not really. Also, I should have mentioned that Luke is probably watching this. He has cameras in every room minus the bedrooms down below. If he isn’t at the command center, he’ll be watching us on his laptop with a headphone in one ear.” She pursed her lips and had the good grace to appear sorry.
“Oh Gosh.” I closed my eyes and grabbed my stomach.
“So, is he really pierced? I hear that sex with a guy who has a Prince Albert is double the fun.”
“Tay!” I exclaim.
“Well, Charlie said some of the girls at the bar were arguing about it. That has to really hurt. The needle through the...Ack!” She did a full body shiver.
“Don’t answer that.” A sexy as sin voice said from the doorway behind us. I could hear the smile in his silky, deep voice.
“Sweet Jesus!” Taylor hissed, jumping up and turning around.
I am just going to sit here and melt into a puddle of horror now. There’s no telling how long he was standing there because neither of us heard him come in.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” She yelled. “You could have gotten shot.”
I heard a muffled smack and an “oof”.
“Eh, you’re harmless. I just came to check my woman out.”
Noah chuckled and started for me.
I slipped down the cushions so I lay prone, face down on the couch. My hands were between my face and the warm cushion Taylor was just sitting on.
Please ground, open up and swallow me hole, now. I beg you.
Big hands scooped under my body to flip me over before he lifted me up to face him.
I stand at 5’10 without heels while Noah is around 6’1 and still manages to tower over me. His hands are wrapped completely around my teeny waist as he holds me off the floor to come face to face with him. My legs come up and wrap around his waist like a second nature and my arms follow around his neck. Still flustered beyond words, I hide my face in his neck and breathe him in.
His chuckle lifts my body with his rising chest and he holds me tighter.
“Check her out? What is she, a library card?” Taylor grumbles.
“Let’s go home?” He asks, already moving.
I simply nod.
When we reach the door I try to shimmy down his body which makes him stop.
“Where do you think you’re going, sugar?” Noah asks, grinning down at me.
I still can’t answer him so I push off his chest lightly and go to give to Taylor a huge hug.
“I’m going to kill yous.” I whisper in her ear.
She chortles and gives me a tight squeeze before we part.
Tommy is standing just outside of the room as are half of the people who just came out of the meeting room.
“Jamie.” Luke greets trying so desperately to keep a straight face.
Oddly enough, I can speak to him.
“Creepy.” I said, pointing at him and narrowing my eyes.
“Security, babe.” His chest and shoulders were shaking uncontrollably.
“I very much dislike you right now.”
“Don’t worry.” He assured me, mimicking zipping his lips and tossing the key away. Then he winked and turned away.
Taylor jumped onto Tommy’s back and pointed for the door. “Home, boy!” She kicked like he was a horse.
“Goodnight, Jamie.” He said, kissing my cheek and giving my arm a light squeeze.
“Night.” I mumbled.
“You gonna tell me why Luke was losing his shit in the meeting?” Noah asks, his head tilted.
He was enjoying this. “Idiot fell over and off of his chair in fits of laughter.”
“Wasn’t planning on it.” I answered and turned away.
My whole backside heated and I knew he was practically on top of me.
“Noah!” Someone called down the hall. Little tingles danced down my spine.
His hand slipped under mine and pulled me back with him.
“This’ll only take a second, sugar then I plan on getting you home and doing very naughty things to you.”
Yes, please.
A guy around my age I’d presume is leaning in the doorway of an office marked “Bravo”. Initially I have no interest in even looking at his face, but an invisible string yanks my face up. With skin darker than mine and an unforgivingly rugged, handsome face he seems so familiar that my insides churn. There’s a scar that cuts through his left brow and when he holds out his hand to shake, I note the burn marks up his arm. A sinking feeling in my gut, I am staring at a ghost. Long dead and gone.
He has finally come to punish me. He is here to make sure I don’t forget the guilt, not for one minute. A single tear slides down my heated cheek.
“Hey Jamie. Name’s Paulie.” His accent oozed Brooklyn, a twin of mine.
“Holy.Shit.” It literally fell out of my mouth before I registered I was thinking it. Noah choked and I heard Taylor scream down the hall. Matt bent over beside us and wheezed.
He’s real. Living. Alive. Not dead.
“I take it you remember me?” He asks, a lopsided grin lifted favoring the right.
I ran into his chest and wrapped my arms and legs around him like a spider monkey.
“Paulie.” I cried into his firm chest. Under my cheek, he was warm and shaking with laughter; his heart beat at a frantic pace, meeting mine.
“Oh my Gosh, Paulie. What are you doing here?” I started bawling and I couldn’t stop.
“Hey, it’s alright.” He assured me, hugging tight.
When I pulled back after a minute, Noah wrapped his arm around my waist possessively.
“I take it he doesn’t know?” We both asked simultaneously. Our shared accent melded together, thickening.
Another shared laugh and I answered, “Not everything. Not abo
ut you.”
“I figured yall might have crossed paths when we ran your background check after bringin’ Jamie home.” Just like mine and Taylor’s, Noah’s accent was more pronounced when he felt any emotion intensely. My eyes scan over Paulie’s body once more, taking note of every inch.
When we were children, he was tall for his age but so lanky and undernourished. Now, he was handsome and tall but instead of lanky, he filled out to look thin and lean – not deadly as I expect he actually is.
“Paulie, are those from…” I choked and had to take a deep breath. My finger shook, pointing at his burnt arms.
“Hey, forget it. I’m just glad to know you got out.”
The tears were still flowing with no end in sight.
Noah kissed the crown of my head and pulled me further into him. I couldn’t be close enough if I was under his skin.
“I just wanted to say hi and maybe we can grab a drink sometime. What do you think? Can you handle starin’ at this ugly mug?”
I shook my head and looked at him disapprovingly.
“You’re handsome and you know it. I would love that. Maybe you can set it up with Noah and come by the house soon?”
“You got it, crackerjack.” He winked.
My old nickname he would call me. We learned one day that crackerjack meant something exceptional or someone especially special, beyond excellent. Ever since that day, he would call me crackerjack. Plus, I was part white so there was that, too.
A strangled laugh escaped my lips and I hugged him again. No one called me that since the day of the fire. Granted, no one but Paulie called me that, but still.
Noah led us home with me wrapped up tight in his arms from the truck to the bed.
Chapter 11
I really don’t like other men looking at Jamie, so it’s safe to say that I become violent when they get physical with her. I’d say I handled it relatively well when he called her crackerjack and when she launched herself at Paulie. He’ll be walking straight tomorrow and I didn’t throw so much as a sucker punch. Lucky bastard.
“You wanna talk about it?” I asked her.
“Honestly, there isn’t much to talk about. Paulie lived next door and his room was on the other side of mine. One time the sperm donor threw me against the wall and the flimsy thing broke straight through. Left a hole the size of my head. Ever since then I had a pillowcase covering it so he wouldn’t know I had a friend. Paulie would protect me and calm me down as much as he could. When we slept, he would stick his arm through and hold mine through the night. He was my only friend and I haven’t seen him since the last day I was there. I thought he had perished in the fire and it broke my heart. When I had a minute to myself, I got down on my knees and prayed for him to be let into Heaven.
Keeping You: KJ Elite Inc. Page 16