Joe did a double take seeing Miguel dart off. He moved to Andrea who looked just as shocked. “Christ, Andrea. What the hell did you do to Miguel?”
<><><><>
Ellen’s hand had run over the top flap of the cardboard box so many times, it had dried out her hand. She ran it over the flap, lifted it slightly, but never all the way, and never removed a single item from the boxes in her bedroom.
“I thought I was the only one,” Frank spoke softly in the doorway of her room. “I knew if anyone else felt like me, it was you.”
Ellen turned slowly to him. “What are you doing?”
“I needed to see you.” Frank walked into her bedroom. He looked at the boxes scattered about “I thought we were only allowed to bring three boxes.”
“We were, but everyone gave me one of theirs.”
“Tell me you can’t do it either. Tell me you can’t bring yourself to pull anything from those boxes.”
“I can’t.”
Frank stepped even closer. “I feel guilty.”
“I know exactly what you mean. It’s like we’re moving on so far and so fast ...”
“We’re forgetting about everything ...”
“And we shouldn’t.” Ellen completed the unison thought.
“I’m glad I found you by yourself. I thought for sure ... Dean would be here.” Frank moved to right near Ellen by the bed, his hand playing with the box lid.
“I wanted to be alone.”
Suddenly Frank looked up. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave.”
“You don’t count.”
“Geez, thanks.”
Ellen smiled then spoke with a loss. “Frank, what are we doing here?”
“I don’t know, El.” Frank’s head swayed.
“Frank.” Ellen stepped into him. “Let’s not unpack.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s leave. You, me and Johnny. Let’s just pack up again and move somewhere. No, let’s go home.”
“El. We can’t ... we can’t do that and you know it.”
“I know.” Ellen’s head lowered. “I am at such a loss right now. I feel at such a loss. The reality has hit me again. I don’t think I will ever be the same person.”
“Me either and I’m ... I’m really down right now too. God.” Frank closed his eyes painfully. “I never thought I’d hurt this bad. I never thought anything could hurt this bad.”
“Even ... even thinking about our families hurts.”
“That’s why I came to see you. Of course ...” Frank gave a slight shrug. “I can’t remember a time in my life since we’ve known each other that I didn’t run to you when things were bad.”
“And I ran to you.”
“Things are bad now El. Why ...” He placed his index finger under her chin. “Why are we doing this separately? We shouldn’t just be running to each other but be there, no matter what, for each other.”
“We are.”
“Tell me where Dean fits into this picture. You don’t think he’ll run interference when you need me. He’ll want you to talk to him. And what about when I need you? You think he’ll just open up his door and say, ‘Come on in Frank’? No.”
“Frank.” Ellen closed her eyes. “He’s not living here. My door is open to you. Anytime.”
“But for how long? How long before he’s in and I’m out.”
“That will never happen.”
“Oh no?” Frank let out a small huff, running his hand over the top of his head. “You’re starting a relationship with this guy. You’re trying to see if it will work.”
“And do you think that will affect how I am with you. You know better. For fifteen years, over fifteen years, you have been number one in my life. I have dropped everything for you when you needed me, married to Pete or not. And that, Frank, will never change.”
Frank softened his voice. “I need you now El. Right now. At this point in our lives, with all that’s happened, I need to know you will always be there.”
“I will. I need to know the same, Frank.”
“Always.” Frank swallowed harshly. He reached out with painfully closed eyes and brought Ellen into him, wrapped his arms tightly around her, held her against his chest, and pressed his cheek to the top of her head.
There it was. Ellen searched when she walked into the door of her new house. She searched for something familiar, a memory around the corner, a feeling of the past that wasn’t painful and she found it in Frank’s arms. Feeling the embrace weaken, Ellen pulled back but she didn’t pull back far.
Frank’s cheek slid down and he tilted his head, bringing in his face so close to Ellen’s. He lifted his hand and placed it behind her head. His breath that escaped from his slightly parted lips was warm as it hit against Ellen. His mouth was so close and so tightly he still held on to her.
Their eyes locked briefly before they closed and apprehensively, Frank touched his lips upon Ellen’s with a softness, a parting, then a simple tasting.
“Frank.” Ellen whispered his name her mouth still so close to his.
Frank didn’t say anything. His hand moved to her face and his fingers spread wide. Brushing his thumb against the corner of her mouth, he kissed her again.
“Frank.” Ellen pulled away some from the kiss. “We ... can’t.” She felt his lips kiss hers again. “Frank.”
Frank shook his head and with each touch of his lips to hers, his mouth widened more and more. He felt her hesitation to let go. “El. Please. I need you.” He hovered his lips over hers as he pulled her head back and arched her neck. “I need you.”
A single, soft moan crept from Ellen and she moved her body against him, bringing her lips to his. From that kiss on, there were no more words spoken, only bodies holding on and responding to a hurt that so desperately needed to be taken away from the both of them.
CHAPTER THREE
Sitting on the edge of the unmade bed, Frank watched Ellen through the tops of his eyes as he laced up his boots. She slowly combed her wet hair, almost too slowly. Doing an adjustment stomp into his boot, Frank stood and picked up his shirt in his stride to Ellen.
She finished and set down the brush, holding it still as her hands pressed against the dresser.
“You all right?” Frank asked softly then put on his shirt. “El?”
She nodded.
Tucking his shirt in, Frank stepped even close. He reached around the front of Ellen and gently turned her to face him. “Are you sure?”
“I’m fine.”
“I have to go.” Frank kissed her softly. “I want to check on Johnny but I’ll see you in a little bit right? At the meeting?”
“Yes.”
“Then how about after we get Johnny settled for the night, you and me, we just ... we just hang out and talk. We can talk about anything, but we’ll just talk like we used to.”
“That’s sounds good.”
Kissing Ellen again, Frank stepped away. He paused before leaving. “You sure you’re all right?”
Ellen took a shivering breath and swayed her head to him as he stood by the door. “I’m positive. I’ll uh ... I’ll see you later.”
Mouthing the word ‘bye’ with a soft smile, Frank left the bedroom. He knew Robbie and Johnny were probably wondering where he had went. He left in the middle of unpacking but he truly needed that unscheduled break with Ellen. Hitting the bottom of the steps, Frank didn’t expect to see what he did, which was Dean walking in. Frank slowed down on his last step. “Dean.”
“Is Ellen here?” Dean asked curiously.
Frank kept walking and reached the door.
“Is she?”
Frank stopped and turned around. “Yeah. Yeah she is. She’s upstairs.” There was so much arrogance in the slight smile Frank gave with the motion of his head. “Why don’t you go on up?” With his suggestion, Frank walked out, pulling the door closed behind him.
Dean stared for a minute then walked up the steps. “El,” he called out when he reached the top and walked t
o the master bedroom. “El, are you ...” Dean stopped cold. Ellen was making the bed.
“Dean.” She stood up, surprised.
Quickly Dean’s head spun to the steps and back to Ellen. He couldn’t stop looking at the bed. “Frank said to ... to ...” A short breathy laugh escaped him and Dean tossed out his hand in disbelief, turned from the bedroom door, and walked away.
“Dean, wait.” Ellen dropped the covers and raced to him. “Wait, please.”
Dean stopped. “Were you going to tell me?”
Ellen hesitated. “Yes. Yes I was. I feel ... I feel bad.”
“Is that the best you can do?” Dean laughed. “Gee, Ellen, thanks.”
“I’m sorry Dean. I really ...”
“Ellen. No.” Dean shook his head. “Don’t apologize. Don’t. We were just starting out. We were going to give it a try. I took that seriously. But I think I took it a little, no, a lot more seriously than you.” Dean closed one eye and nodded his head. “I’m glad I found out early.” He began to take the steps.
“Dean, can I just explain?” Ellen followed him. “Please let me explain.”
“Explain what? Explain that you were with Frank? I could see that Ellen. I got the picture, maybe a little bit better than you did.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It was really convenient how I come over here and Frank, gloating, tells me to go on up.”
Ellen eyes shifted as she cased Dean’s face. “You think I set this up?”
“No, I think Frank did. And you know what El. You’re too obliged to him to see it.”
“It isn’t what you think Dean.” Ellen grabbed on to his arm. “Please listen. He came here. He was down. I was down. We’ve always been there for each other. I don’t know why I let it happen, but ...”
“It doesn’t matter.” Dean tossed his hand up, pulling from Ellen. “I’m not discussing this. There’s really no need to. We’re having a baby and I will be there for that baby. As far as we go, no.” He shook his head. “There’s no way. So now there’s no reason to discuss this any further.”
“I know you’re hurt ...”
“Hurt?” Dean shook his head. “No El, you don’t know there half of it. Yeah, I’m hurt. I had hopes for us because I thought we had the makings of something. We do, and that’s a shame because we’ll never get that chance. Frank won’t let us have that chance. I feel really badly, not for myself, but for you because he just wanted to prove today that he could break us up ... which he did. You were so wrapped up in listening to him say he needed you, that you failed to see how much he was using you.”
Immediate hostility took over Ellen. “Using me? How could you even say something like that? I have known him for fifteen years.”
“It’s the truth.”
“Why after all these years would Frank suddenly decide to use me?”
“Who’s saying it’s after all these years? How do you know he hasn’t been using you all along? He’s a user, Ellen. It’s a power thing with him, like a spoiled kid with his toy. He wants no one else to have it, whether or not he wants it himself.”
Ellen’s mouth dropped open in a gasp. “You don’t understand my and Frank’s relationship. You don’t.”
“Funny.” Dean smiled as he moved to the door. “That’s the exact same thing he said on the plane to me today, right before he told me he would get in the way of us even if it was just to make my life miserable. Not because he loved you or wanted you, but to make my life miserable. And now that you’re alone, ask Frank where he’ll be. Bet me he doesn’t come full force into the picture until, like the past fifteen years, there’s someone in your life.”
There were stares of silence after Dean’s words and then, without slamming the door and without saying anything further, Dean left.
<><><><>
It was meat, canned of course, but meat. It was something William could remember being quite versed at preparing in exciting new culinary ways. He peered at the brown squares bubbling with canned vegetables. After removing the spoon, he checked the tenderness of the noodles that boiled in a pot just a burner away.
William had a flashback, or at least he thought it was a flashback. The slam of the front door, the heavy footsteps of a man light enough to be blown away by a good wind, the scraping of a chair, and the plopping of a rear-end down in the seat. William turned his head to the right, peering at the scene he had witnessed many times before in his life. Something was wrong. Dean’s head was down. He stared at his hands and that was William’s clue that Dean wanted him to ask. William returned to his cooking.
“Ellen’s not coming to dinner.”
“She isn’t?” Over his glasses, William looked at Dean while he stirred his substance. “Did you explain to her you were not the one cooking?”
“I don’t think that would matter. Ellen ... won’t be having dinner with us ever.”
“What did you do to her?”
Dean’s eyes widened. “Me?” He shook his head. “No. Let’s just put it this way. Romantically, I don’t think Ellen will be dining with me.”
“Ever?”
“Ever.”
William set down the spoon with an ‘hmm’ and reached for two plates.
“She was with Frank, Dad. With Frank. Already.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Dean stood up. “Just oh? No compassion. No, I’m sorry to hear that, son.”
“Well, Dean.” William sat down the plates. “I’m kind of used to it. It’s been this way your whole life. You have an inability to keep people close to you. It’s a deficiency.”
“How can you say that?”
“It’s true. You push people away. I know it’s unintentional, but you do.”
“I seem to remember having lots of friends when I was little.” Dean held up his hand.
“And I seem to remember buying you lots of friends when you were little. Did you ever wonder why none of your friends were ever around very long? My patients would come into the office and say, sorry Dr. Hayes, I know I promised I’d let you hire my child, but he just can’t take the mental abuse anymore.”
Dean had to laugh. What else could he do? “You’re joking.”
“No, I’m not. Little Larry Stevens. I immunized him and his brother for free. But if I recall, Larry wasn’t around much because you called him a bumbling, neurotic, misfortunate mind and you were only six! And that was only the early years.” William stayed calm. “How many girlfriends have you ever bought home?”
“That has nothing to do with it.” Dean argued.
“Really? Maybe it’s something you lack somewhere. I actually had a hard time believing you physically joined with Ellen to create this child she’s carrying. It had crossed my mind that you made it in a lab and tried to pull the wool over my eyes.”
“I cannot believe you’re insulting me like that.”
“My apologies.” William carried the plates into the dining room.
“Besides, you seem to be blaming me. How is Ellen cheating on me my fault?”
“I’m not saying it’s your fault.”
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.” William was firm. “You and Ellen decided to give this relationship a try. Ellen changed her mind, rather early, but changed her mind. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. Are you going to be bitter and stomp around? Probably. You always do and that’s part of your problem.”
If Dean’s mouth could hang open any wider it would hit the floor. “Dad.”
“No Dean, hear me out. You had high expectations. I’m sorry. Maybe you placed too high of expectations on it. The world just ended. You got involved with a married woman who was involved with a married man, mind you. This is a habit she has probably formed for many years and one she has to break. So you think that you’re so ‘all that’, whatever the young people say, that you can make her forget? You went into it with blinders on when you should have started the relationship eyes wide open and ready for anything. You wou
ldn’t have been so shocked. Now, not only in this small town are we going to have dismay with everyone else, we’ll have it between you and Ellen as well, which I’m hoping you’ll put behind you.” William went back into the kitchen.
“Put it behind me like it never happened?”
“Exactly.” William brought back glasses. “I’m not saying run over there and push for the relationship, but start the relationship over again. You need to start it all over. I have a feeling it could work. Where it should have, from beginning, from scratch, from a friendship, and not from the moment you lost your virginity in a hotel room.”
“Oh my God.” Dean plopped down in a chair. “You have this image of me as being ...”
“Before you use any big words, pompous is the word I’m thinking of.” William joined him at the table. “And Ellen is really your only friend here. You don’t make friends easy. You have to learn, especially now. What have I told you all your life? You have to be at the level of the people you are dealing with. I have. These people are no less than you are, Dean. They just have an annoyance level with people like you who think they are better. Yes you’re smarter, but does that mean you have to be above them? No. This is just the first of many problems here if you don’t start being one of everybody instead of the brilliant scientist over there alone.”
“You really hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. I love you. This is going to be a lonely world. Mistakes happen, earlier than we would like, but they happen. Put it behind you and start over.”
“You make it sound so simple. I’m kind of wrapped up in this woman here, Dad.”
“And I was wrapped up in your mother,” William pointed out. “But I got over it.”
“You make it sound like mom cheated.”
“She did. All doctors’ wives cheat. It’s a fact. So there goes another reason to get over it. You should have expected it for that alone.”
“This ...” Dean had to chuckle. “Is a little different than the old world. Besides, Mom never cheated on you.”
The Next Ten: Beginnings Series Books 11 - 20 Page 3