Robbie took deep breath. He knew what he and William had ended up discussing. It was the same conversation that came up all the time in the past few weeks. “Dean, we talked about many things.”
“Like what?”
“Aside from the unattractiveness of some of the survivors.” Robbie saw he brought a snicker to Dean’s face. “We talked about you.”
“You did?” Dean’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t just tell me that would you?”
“No.”
“Did he bitch about me?”
“Well ...”
Dean smiled. “He did. Did he insult me?”
‘That too, but only in a William fun way.” Robbie explained. “That was just him.”
“I know. I guess I wanted to hear that his mood was up. He wasn’t feeling bad or down.”
Like a light bulb in his head, Robbie’s face lit up.
Dean saw it. “What? Did you remember something?”
“Yeah.” Robbie nodded. “Yeah I do.” Quickly Robbie’s mind raced back to the conversation he and William had and he heard William’s voice in his head.
‘You know Robbie, I looked at Dean tonight with that baby. and I swear it was the first time since we did what we did, that I didn’t feel bad. I really didn’t feel bad. I really couldn’t care less with this on my soul, because what I did, I saw tonight, I did out of my love for my son, his happiness, and that’s all that matters to me. My son.’
“Robbie?” Ellen called his name. “What?”
“Dean.” Robbie looked at Dean. “William ... William got serious about you last night. He said ... he said that you were all that mattered to him. He loved you and he just wanted you to be happy.”
“He said that?” Dean asked shocked. “My Dad?”
“Yeah and it surprised me too. We were talking about you and the kids. Especially ...” Robbie swallowed and looked at Ellen. “Joey and that’s what made him say it.”
“Thanks, Robbie.” Dean sat down on the couch. “Thank you.”
“Sure.” Robbie moved to the door. “Oh Dean, just know I’m gonna really miss your dad. He was a hell of a guy.”
Dean’s head nodded slowly. “Me too.”
Ellen took a long breath as she closed the door behind Robbie when he left. She walked over to the couch and to Dean whose head was down. “How you doing?” she asked, sliding her hand over his.
“I’m not doing well, El. It was my father.” Dean dropped his head down onto Ellen’s lap and gripped his arms around her legs. “My father.”
A hesitation hit Ellen’s hand as she lifted it then left it fall to Dean’s head. Her fingers ran though his hair. She felt him clinging to her. Then Ellen leaned over to him, laid her head against his back, and held on.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
March 14 - Beginnings, Montana
The unconscious humming Andrea did while she read made Dean rock faster and faster as he sat in his chair in his living room. She found comfort in the Bible, humming a soft tune as she babysat Dean like some sort of child. But her humming increasingly brought back the memories of his father’s funeral service over a week earlier. Rev. Bob’s word, ‘how sadly he’ll be missed’ kept repeating over and over in Dean’s head. How right Rev. Bob was.
“I can’t take it.” Dean sprang up.
“Sit down.” Andrea told him.
“Where is she?”
“She’ll be home shortly.” Andrea stayed calm.
“I would like her home now.” Dean began to frantically pace.
“Dean.” What Andrea wanted to do was strike out and maybe shock him back to normal. Dean had been so fanatic, so insecure, especially around the times of the day he spent with his father, but she knew she couldn’t do that. She had to draw upon her compassion and patience at that moment. “She needs time too.”
“She’s had enough.” Dean looked at his watch. “I need her.”
“Dean.” Andrea stood from the couch and followed him. “I know you are going through a rough time but if you don’t allow Ellen some time away from you, she’ll be of no use when you really need her.”
“I really need her now.”
“I know.”
“Can you stay with the kids? I’m going to Containment to find her.”
“Dean.”
“Please.”
Andrea looked at the time. “Sure. I’ll stay.”
“Thank you.” Dean hurried to the door and raced out. The streets were pretty empty and even though it was dark, it wasn’t late. But he knew as soon as he rounded the bend into center town, Ellen wasn’t at Containment. The overhead light was out, the signal that classes were done. The next place he would look angered him to think that she would be there. How could Ellen go and socialize when he needed her home, to talk, to be there? But popping his head into the hall proved, within a few seconds, she wasn’t there as well.
Dean didn’t worry. Worry wasn’t what crossed his mind. He turned and headed home, figuring she may have been off walking with Robbie since he didn’t see him at the Social Hall either.
What made him look, Dean would never know. Why he went to the left instead of the right would haunt him for the rest of his life, but he did see it, an image that would forever sketch itself in his mind.
It was a silhouette behind a blind, two figures, up in Frank’s bedroom window, kissing, moving. He could see the man was definitely Frank for he was tall, overshadowing the person he was with. Hands moving, heads turning. “No.” Dean watched. He tried at that moment to pass it off as a survivor Frank was with, but as he watched the figures move from the window’s view, Dean knew he had to find out for sure.
Without knocking, he walked into Frank’s home. He would deal with Frank and interrupting him with someone else later but at that second, Dean had to know if that was Ellen. With a pounding heart and barely able to breath, Dean moved upstairs and to Frank’s closed bedroom door. He knocked.
“John, we’re busy,” Frank called out. “Ow.” He snickered.
Dean turned the knob quietly and pushed open the door. Frank laid on the bed and only a sheet covered him,. He was smiling and looking down to the figure under the sheet. Dean’s heart dropped to his stomach.
Frank had a joking tone to his voice. “Ha. You think?” Frank then looked up. “Fuck.”
“What?” Her voice came from under the sheet. “I didn’t even touch ...” Ellen emerged from the sheet and saw Frank’s face. With her hair in eyes, she turned around. “Oh my God.” She watched Dean walk out.
Slam!
Andrea jolted on the couch when the front door shut harshly. “Dean? Did you find ...”
“I need to be alone.” Dean told her. “Please.”
“What happened? What’s wrong?”
“I just need ...”
“Dean!” Ellen flew in the house. “Dean.”
Dean looked to Andrea. “Could you leave us?”
Andrea peered to Ellen then to Dean. She felt the tension, the trouble and didn’t need to be asked a second time. Picking up her jacket and her Bible, she hurried and left the home.
Ellen was out of breath and scared. She moved to a pacing Dean. “I’m ...”
“Sorry. I know,” Dean scolded and spun to her. “So, did you finish blowing Frank or did you just run right over.”
“Oh my God.” Ellen closed her eyes.
“God!” Dean grabbed his own head. “Am I stupid! I trusted you wouldn’t have anything to do with him again!” he screamed at her. “I really, really thought it was us, just us. I was wrong.”
“Dean, let me explain.”
“Explain what Ellen? Huh? How can you possible explain what I saw?”
“I guess I can’t.”
“You can’t.” Dean pointed “You can’t explain that I see you two from the street kissing. You can’t explain that I walked in his room and both of you are naked in his bed, not to mention where you were.” Dean’s voice rose higher. “And you can’t explain why at this point in my lif
e you had to do that to me!”
“I am so sorry,” Ellen rambled. “Dean, I am so ...”
“I don’t want to hear it!” He blasted. “I don’t. I am sick of this shit! Sick of it. You and Frank! And what about me, El! Huh? When I need you the most, when I can’t handle this, you do this! I just buried my father. I just buried a giant part of my life. All I ask is that you help me through this and where were you? With Frank!”
“I didn’t want you to find out, not this way.”
“Then you shouldn’t have been advertising through a goddamn blind that you were about to fuck him.” He watched Ellen’s head dropped and he raged to her. “Did you ever have any feeling for me at all?”
“I still do.”
“Oh bull.”
“No, Dean, I do.”
“Ellen, you were with Frank. When I need you, you were with him. How can you say you have feelings for me. How?”
“Dean.” Ellen moved to him, looking at his so angry face. “I love you.”
Dean laughed. “You think you love me! You, Ellen, are cold, selfish, and have been doing this for years! You manipulate! You use! And you say you love me? If you knew the first thing about love, you wouldn’t be going to him!”
“If you knew the first thing about being a husband, I wouldn’t have to!”
Crack!
As if in slow motion, total shock took over Dean, when he found himself staring at his hand. Doing something he never believed he’d do, he slapped Ellen. “Oh my God.” He looked up to her. Ellen’s head was still to the side, her hair flung over her face. “El, Oh God, El ...”
Ellen lifted her head, felt his reach, and slammed her fist hard into his chest then shoved him back.
“El.”
Ellen flew from the house.
<><><><>
How long had Dean waited for it? Hours? Maybe it just seemed like it, but he knew it was coming. He waited in his chair with his elbows on his knees, rocking as his cupped hands rested under his chin. He stared at the door, waiting for the moment that either Frank, Robbie, or Joe would barge through the door and literally kill him for touching Ellen.
When the door knob clicked, Dean stood up. He would at least be ready.
Ellen, only Ellen, walked in.
“El.” Dean moved to her. “Ellen I swear to God I’m sorry. I swear I don’t know what made me do that. El ...” He spoke his heavy emotional words as he reached for her arms. “I should never touched you. I ...”
“Dean,” Ellen spoke calmly. “Stop.”
“But ...”
“We won’t turn this situation around.” She moved to the couch.
“What?” He followed her.
“You were wrong. I was wrong, but because of what you did, I won’t let it take away from what I did.” She sat down.
“Listen to me.” Dean sat next to her. “Nothing, nothing you did deserved that. Nothing should have made me do that.”
“You’re right.”
“I would never do that again. Why didn’t you tell Frank? You should have.”
“How do you know I didn’t?”
“He didn’t show up,” Dean said.
“You’re right. I didn’t tell him. What happened here tonight is between you and me. And what happened here tonight will never happen again.”
“It won’t.” Dean’s head dropped.
“I think you know why Dean.”
Dean nodded.
“It is everything and tonight became the final straw. It’s for the best.” Ellen took a deep breath and stood up, running her fingers through her hair. “You know what I’m saying.”
“It’s over.”
“Before you lose any more respect for me and before I lose any more respect for you, let’s just end this.”
Dean stood slowly from the couch. “I never thought we’d get to this point. I never thought the odds would be this stacked against us.”
“I screwed up more than you should have forgiven.”
“I love you. I just kept hoping it would get better.” So much sadness laced Dean’s voice. “Please know I wanted us to work. I really wanted us to work.”
“Know I did too. But fate ... .” Ellen shrugged sadly. “Fate and bad choices got in the way. We struggled from the beginning.” Solemnly she looked at Dean. “Let’s not struggle anymore.”
Dean closed his eyes. Even though they would never be physically far from each other, they were at their widest distance apart. In a world so big, with so very few people, Dean and Ellen had their goodbye.
A Pause ...
PRESENT DAY
October 2 - Beginnings, Montana
“Shit.” Robbie looked at his watch as they sat in Frank’s office. “We’d better be getting you back, Hal.”
“Yeah,” Hal agreed. “Frank, even though you annoyed the hell out of me today ...”
“It was fun.” Frank held up his hands.
“I’ll see you in a couple days.” Hal stood up. “Thanks for the catching up.” He winked at his brother.
“Robbie,” Frank called out. “Be safe.”
Robbie gave a thumbs up. “See you in a few. Henry? Drive us to the hanger?”
“Aw.” Henry whined. “All right. But Hal never finished his story about how he found Gergerace.”
“I’ll finish it in the Jeep,” Hal said as he opened the door. “See you Frank. Dean.”
Robbie walked through the door. “Dean? You coming?”
“No.” Dean shook his head. “I’m gonna hang out with Frank.”
Frank looked oddly at Dean after his brothers and Henry walked out. “Now why are you hanging out with me?”
“I like you.”
“Right,” Frank said smugly.
“I do. Hang out with me, Frank.”
“Why? I know. You’ve developed a need for being around greatness.”
“You’re an ass.”
“You want to hang?” Frank rocked some in his chair and snapped forward when his phone rang. “Hold that thought.” He held his finger up to Dean and answered it. “Hello?”
“Frank.” Joe sounded irritated. “I’m getting pissed off here. I can’t find Dean. Can you help?”
“Yeah,” Frank said. “He’s right here. He’s been with me for hours.”
“Frank! An hour ago I told you I was looking for him.”
“Yeah and I told him.”
“Why in Christ’s name didn’t you tell me he was with you!” Joe yelled.
“Dad.” Frank stayed calm. “You didn’t ask.
“Put him on the goddamn phone.”
“O.K.” Frank shrugged and handed the phone to Dean.
Dean cringed and slowly brought the phone to his ear. “Hey, Joe, what ...” Dean slid in the seat. “I’m really ... yes. Yes. Yes.” Dean jolted and handed the phone back to Frank. “See ya, Frank.”
“What the hell did you do?”
“If it’s what I think ...” Dean moved to the door. “You don’t wanna know.” He opened the door and let out a sigh. “God, I’m a dead man.”
Frank laughed while he was alone in his office. He sat there for a moment. He was done working and he thought about who he could possible annoy in his free time. Coming up with the idea of maybe just going home and enjoying his new house, Frank picked up his shoulder harness from his desk and stood up.
“Frank,” a male voice called out.
Frank stopped in his walk to the door.
“Frank,” he called out again.
Frank spun around. Where was the voice coming from?
“Frank.”
Scratching his head, Frank bent over and looked under his desk. He walked to the file cabinet and opened a drawer. Nothing.
“Frank.”
“What!” Frank screamed and marched to the door. He opened it, peered out. Empty. “What the hell?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“I need to see you.” Frank walked to his closet and opened that as well. “Hello?” he called inside
.
“Hello,” the male voice replied.
“Now what the ...” Frank shut the closet, turned around and was so startled he jumped backed, banged into the closest, and shrieked as if he were Henry.
A ghostly figure appeared his room, barely seen, but there. It was an apparition of Frank’s brother, Jimmy, so transparent and white. “Now I have a complaint.” Jimmy held up his finger. “Why was I only once mentioned during the entire brothers meeting? Once Frank. Once. Was I forgotten about?”
Frank’s eyes grew even more wide as he stared leaning against that closet. “Oh fuck.”
<><><><>
PHASES OF WAR
Beginnings Book 12
HOME
CHAPTER ONE
Pomeroy, Washington
October 2
A snap of a twig made Stan Owens look back behind him as he walked with fellow United Western Alliance Soldier, Bud Allan. Looking like civil war soldiers, straight from that time era with long hair and beards, they walked their horses up the hill at a comfortable pace.
“Nothing.” Stan looked ahead. His breath formed a fog that showed the coolness of the air. “I heard it though. Did you?”
“Probably an animal.”
“Probably.”
“How much longer you wanna go until we stop for the night?”
“Hell Stan,” Bud laughed. “It’s only the afternoon. We got lots of good daylight hours left to travel.”
“True.”
“But the top of this hill is as good a place as any.”
Stan chuckled. “I’m with you. I think we’re gonna end up empty handed when we get home.”
“Captain says they’re out here.”
“Where?” Stan asked. “We’ve been scouting for a week. I haven’t seen any people.”
“Maybe the Captain just doesn’t like us.”
“No, it’s Craig he doesn’t like.”
“True. Hey, Stan? How big is this new town where we’re moving base?”
The Next Ten: Beginnings Series Books 11 - 20 Page 39