The body weight of Hector lifted. No feel of hips. No lips. No hands. Only briefly the weight pressed down again and Henry moaned. His hand instinctively gripped onto Hector’s back as their bodies rubbed slowly together. Skin against skin. Flesh against flesh. It was if it was sealed with a kiss, the type that Henry hadn’t felt in so long.
“You can stop me at anytime.” Hector’s words hit with warm breath against his lips.
Henry didn’t answer. Hector moved his lips down to Henry’s chest then to his stomach and then . . . it was over. Henry’s head went far back and his neck tensed up when he found himself in a point of no return and swimming in the sensation of being pleasured.
After the painful revelation of it all, it was time to face the music. Drying off his face, Henry opened the bathroom door and slowly walked to his bedroom. He hoped it was all a dream, but knew it wasn’t. The remnants of the messed up bed were the evidence, but what was to become of his error was a mystery because Hector was gone.
^^^^
“I’m telling you,” Johnny snapped at Frank in the Security Office.
“And I’m telling you!” Frank stood up, slamming his hands on the desk. “There is no fuckin way over four hundred Savages packed up and disappeared out of range in three hours.”
“Dad.”
“John!” Frank yelled. “You didn’t follow the coordinates. This is the exact reason I took you off of surveillance before.”
“I followed them!” he screamed back. “You’re wrong.”
“No, you’re wrong! Get your ass back out there and find them.”
“No.” Johnny backed up to the door. “I’m not wasting my time. They are gone.”
“No? No?” Frank walked around his desk. “Are you questioning me?”
Johnny huffed in disgust. “You can be a real asshole, you know that?”
“I also am in charge. Get back out there!” Frank strongly ordered.
“Fine.” Johnny raged to the door and flung it open.
“Fuck!” Frank’s hand cut through the air. “Fuckin Savage war and he’s not wanting to check again. What the fuck.” He bitched--so he thought--to himself and then when he went to shut the door he saw Henry. “What.”
“You . . . you got a minute Frank?”
“Oh, I hope to fuckin God you aren’t here to bitch about the Frank contest too. I’ve had it up to fuckin here with bitches about that. Fuckin Ben from Fabrics telling me had he known there was no prize, he would have been a ballerina. I got more important things on my . . .” Finally, Frank saw the expression on Henry’s face and his whole demeanor changed. With concerned curiosity, Frank reached out and shut the door. “What happened?”
Henry’s head dropped.
Frank heard what he thought was a sob. “Henry?”
“I know people will think I’m an asshole for coming to you, but I suppose I’m doing it because I want you to scream at me.”
“O.K., not much of a complement.”
“I made a mistake, Frank. A huge mistake. Something that someone who’s going to be leader of this community shouldn’t have done and if it gets out . . .”
“What did you do?” Frank asked with patience.
“I . . .” Henry lifted his head. “Last night. I was with . . . I was with another man.”
“Doing what? Darts. Pool?”
“No. We talked and drank.”
“Henry, last I heard that wasn’t anything to get yourself all worked up . . .”
“And we had sex.”
It took everything Frank had not to show a change in expression. He saw his friend didn’t need that. His eyes only widened slightly and the little vein in his neck twitched some in his surprise. Not knowing what exactly to say, Frank cleared his throat.
“Frank.”
Frank nodded and stepped back. He had to take a moment to think.
“Yell at me, Frank. Scream at me for being weak. Call me names. Something. Anything.”
“Why?” Frank asked strongly. “Why would I do that? You want me to chastise you for being with someone. You want me to call you a fuckin fag? Is that what you’re seeking?”
“Yes.”
“Well you won’t get it from me because if I do that to you, I have to do that to a hell of a lot of men in this community. You’re not alone in this, Henry, and you aren’t the first man to walk into my office wanting to be punished for something that . . .” Frank walked to his desk. “For something that isn’t wrong.” He sat down. “Man, people must really see me as an asshole. Why is that? Why do they come to me to make them feel bad?”
“Because they think they should feel worse than they do.” Henry slowly walked to a chair and sat down. “Other men have done the same? They came to you to get yelled at?”
“Yeah.” Frank rocked in his chair. “O.K., I have to admit the first time, I did yell, I thought that’s what I was supposed to do and then I realized I was on the wrong track. Look . . .” Frank leaned into his desk. “Here’s what I can tell you. What you found last night, you must have needed. In this world, we all aren’t fortunate enough to get what we need from a woman because, my friend, there aren’t that many.”
“I know.” Henry’s head still hung low. “I feel bad. I feel wrong. I’m scared that this will get out. Even if men have done it, they won’t own up to it. I want to be able to lead the community, Frank. Joe’s taking a sabbatical. This guy disappeared this morning.”
“Then maybe you need to go and talk to this guy and make sure you set the record straight.”
“You think I should?” Henry asked.
“It will make you feel better.”
Henry smiled slightly. “This talk with you has made me feel better. You’re smarter than people give you credit for.”
“Thanks. I think.” Frank scratched his head.
Henry stood up. “I’m going to go find him. I appreciate you telling me I’m not alone.”
“You’re not, Henry. More men than you realize have been in your position, excuse the terminology.”
Henry shook his head. “Thanks. That makes me feel less bad.”
“And to really make your mind feel at ease, since we moved in together, Dean and me have found ourselves, many a times, making out on the couch.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Dean is quite the little romancer.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Kidding.” Frank snickered.
“Frank,” Henry snapped. “You’re an asshole.” He opened the door. “But an asshole who . . . who is a really good guy.” Peacefully and with gratitude, Henry smiled then left.
^^^^
New Bowman, Montana
It had to be the fact that Elliott was out so late in his meeting with Hal that he slept so hard. He was in such a deep slumber that he failed to hear the continuous beeping of his alarm clock that seeped into Ellen’s room and awakened her.
She hated to go in and wake him up, especially knowing the time he returned, but she knew Elliott always attended Mass on Sunday and that was probably why he set his alarm.
Hurrying to shut off the annoying, wakening device, Ellen hit the button, silenced it, and then reached to Elliott. He slept heavily and his body moved with his deep breaths. Before she could wake him, Ellen retracted her hand. She looked at the side of his neck. The glandular area under the chin was lightly bruised. Her eyes closed. Slowly she reached out to gently touch him. His skin was feverishly warm to the touch. Knowing if the alarm clock didn’t wake him, surely she wouldn’t, so Ellen felt for his pulse. It was strong, and steady, a good sign. But Ellen saw other signs of his illness. The hard sleep. The slight bruising. The fever. They were indications that signals were being ignored by Elliott and his body just said ‘enough. I’m shutting down to heal.’
Recognizing them and being aware how hard he pushed himself, Ellen played doctor and prescribed undisturbed rest. When Elliott regained his strength, he would awake and not a minute before, not if she could help it. So Ellen unplugg
ed the alarm clock, tucked it under her arm, bent down and kissed Elliott then left the room.
^^^^
Beginnings, Montana
Hector’s hand felt for the firmness of the tomato that had hint of green. “This will work.” He gave it back to Bev. “But concentrate more on the ones that look like they’re gonna fall.”
“I hate this. I’m pregnant,” Bev whined.
Hector shook his head. “Come on Bev. Don’t do this to me. All right? You have to get this done. I can’t do it alone.”
“But I . . .”
“I let you go all the time. If Joe found out how much I allow you not to work, my division leadership would be nil. Do you know how hard I worked to earn this?”
“Please. Miguel died then Cole was eaten. You got this by default.”
Hector held up a finger. “That’s so wrong especially when I’m fair to you. I understand the pregnancy. Don’t I?”
“Yeah.” Bev lowered her head. “You’re right. You’re a rarity in Beginnings, Hector. You’re actually a nice guy.”
“Please quit taking advantage of that at least when my ass is on the line.”
“All right.”
“Tomatoes.” Hector pointed to the vines.
“Tomatoes,” Bev pouted and grabbed her basket.
Hector moved across the huge green house. “Oh, Bev.” He stopped. “It’s humid in here, so please make sure you stop to cool down and drink enough.”
Stopping in her crouch to the lower plants, Bev smiled and nodded as she watched Hector leave. “What a nice guy. Daddy would like him,” Bev spoke to herself and readied to do her work. Turning once more to look at Hector as he made it to the next greenhouse, Bev titled her head in oddity. She watched Hector stiffen in his walk when he was approached by an uncomfortable looking Henry.
“I’m busy.” Hector opened the greenhouse door. “I’d like to finish up. It is Sunday.”
“So this is your attitude.” Henry followed him.
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” Hector headed to his office.
“Yes, you do. The reason why you left. It’s all a game to ...”
“No Henry.” Hector spun around when he stepped inside his office. “You wanna know why I left? Huh? Let me tell you. There’s something that tends to make a person feel really bad when they hear the person they were intimate with puking in the toilet as they regretfully question themselves about it.”
“You heard that?”
“Um, yeah, Henry. Sound travels, especially when it has the echoing effect of a porcelain bowl.”
Henry tilted his head to the side. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I’ve had a lot of incidences in Beginnings. I won’t lie, but I swear I don’t think any of them ever made me feel so cheap and so wrong about something I thought felt so good. And you know what sucks. I like you, Henry. I do. You’re the first man I ever felt something for.”
“I hope to God you weren’t thinking we’d start a relationship.”
“Was that necessary?” Hector snapped. “No. Think about that statement. Be a gay man in Beginnings? You can do it, but just like in prison, you’d better not let a single soul find out. If you’re anything less than some macho, hard nose, roughneck, then you end up working in Fabrics. Or . . . something like that.” Hector shook his head.
“Look . . .”
“No, you look, Henry. I didn’t go into last night to hurt you or to harm you if that’s what you’re thinking. I also have myself to think about as well but let’s not forget you were not the total innocent.” He watched Henry’s eyes close. “I’m sorry it bothers you to think of what you did but it happened. If you remember, I wanted last night to be about you. In my stupid mind I thought, well maybe there’ll be a next time and that night will be about me. But no, you turned the tables and then I tried to stop you.”
“I know.”
“You became the initiator as well as me.”
“I know,” Henry said with anger.
“And let me tell you something, Henry. You didn’t back off or stop because it was something you needed, something that felt good. And now you’re bitter and pissed because it was something you never thought you’d let happen.”
Henry swallowed. “Sounds like you’re reading my mind.”
“No, Henry. I’ve had your mind. I’ve stood where you are. I have felt what you felt. When I had my first experience, I wanted to slit my wrists, not because I did something so wrong, but because I enjoyed it and I wasn’t feeling as bad as I thought I should. I’m not gay. I don’t want to have gay sex, but you take what you can get in a fucked up world. To have someone touch you, hold you, and pay attention to you can make the difference in the next day. Don’t think for one second if a woman approached me and said they wanted me, I would turn them down. Hell no, I’ll grab that opportunity and cherish it but I’m not that fortunate.”
“Hector . . . what happened can’t get out.”
“I know this,” Hector spoke with sincerity.
“I’m next in line for leadership. I’m filling in for now.”
“I know,” Hector silenced him. “Don’t worry. I’m not a bad guy. No one will know. I can stay silent. I can be a good friend.”
“No, Hector, you can’t because I don’t want you to be my friend. In fact, I want you to stay as far away from me as possible. Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, and don’t come near me. Last night was wrong.” Henry moved to the door. “Basically, as hard as it sounds, the sight of you makes me sick.” Turning, Henry walked out, leaving his hard words to linger in the air around Hector.
Bev felt a little bad for Hector, the demented side of her wanted to see his expression, but she couldn’t. She had to stay hidden. She didn’t want them to know she was there. She may not have heard the entire conversation, but she heard enough.
^^^^
Andrew’s Air Force Base
There was nothing more Robbie wanted to do than to give into the urge to give a high five to George over the excitement of hearing the jet engines roar but he didn’t, not because George was the enemy, but because he didn’t want to take a chance of coming in contact with that grotesque thing George called a hand.
“Yes!” Robbie tossed the rag. “Ready to take her for a spin?”
George tilted his head. “It’s been a while.”
“It’s like riding a bike,” Robbie stated. “Let’s go up. I’ll take my bird and we’ll do some practice communications. You need that for the drop.”
“Two days isn’t much time.”
“It’s plenty. As I said, it’s like riding a bike. But let’s try it now. I have to head back soon, especially with that camp gone.” Robbie walked from the jet.
“Robert,” George called out. “You didn’t rig this jet in some sort of demented Slagel way to get rid of me, did you?”
Robbie grinned then took a serious face. “No, George.”
“Robbie . ..”
“Nah. Don’t get your crippled butt in a tizzy. I wouldn’t do that, not when we need that plane to drop the missile. See you up there.”
Grunting and watching one of the reasons he hated Beginnings approach his jet, George moved with worry to his.
^^^^
Beginnings, Montana
Joe was exhausted. He knew he had slept, but he supposed the worry that weighed heavy on his mind wore him down. He just wanted to finish his Monday things a day early so he would be mind-free when he went into Andrea’s sentencing the next day.
Tossing his nearly finished cigarette, Joe opened his office door and slowed in his stride in. “Frank.”
Frank stopped mid pace to the filing cabinet. “Dad. What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same.”
“Worrying. Trying to help. You?”
“Getting things done for tomorrow. I have the field projections for the week to pre . . .”
“Done.”
“Oh. But I have the division reports t
o distribute to . . .”
‘Done.”
“Distribution schedules.”
“Done.”
“New Bowman meetings to set up.”
‘Done.”
“Inventory of warehouses . . .”
“Done. Done. Done.” Frank walked to the filing cabinet, opened the top drawer, found his spot, and put his folder in.
“Who did it all?”
“Me. Henry’s having an emotional break down and Jason is saying service. Go figure.”
“You . . .” Joe moved to him. “You did it?”
“Yeah, why?’
“I didn’t know you knew how.”
Frank chuckled. “Neither did I, but I stopped by to start my plans and while I was waiting for return phone calls, I thought I’d help you out for tomorrow. Next thing I knew, I was done. Fuckin Hal has taken forever to get back to me. Talk to him.”
“I will. Everything is done?”
“Um . . .” Frank hurried to Joe’s desk and lifted up the clipboard. “Monday’s schedule for you. Yep, no, wait, the lock inspection we pull together is not done, but I’ll get there.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Frank moved out of the way for his father to sit. “How are you?”
“I’ve been better. I’m sure I’ll feel a lot less stressed when I get to New Bowman this evening. Frank, Johnny coming with me. Is that O.K.? Can you manage without him?”
“Absolutely. I have to talk to him. I was a little hard on him this morning about that Savage camp.”
“Yeah, but you have reason to be. He has a history of missing them.”
“Still.”
“All right, what’s the situation?” Joe asked. “How bad?”
“Dad I’m moving both us and Bowman to level four Security. I want every Security man, reserve and full time, on alert and positioned. I want to implement an order for everyone to refresh the strategy of massive attack on us, where they go, what to do, and issuing gas masks to those who stay topside.”
The Next Ten: Beginnings Series Books 11 - 20 Page 135