The walk back to the castle is far longer this time. Everything I thought I knew has once again evaporated. Would a woman who risks her life to go save a demon from torture and captivity do anything that would threaten a castle full of people she cares about?
Who is my mother?
Artemis will be waiting inside with Eve. I want to tell Artemis it wasn’t her fault that Mom picked her first. She doesn’t have to feel guilty anymore, ever. I don’t want to tell her that Honora attacked our mom and took Doug. Or maybe I do. I can’t decide which.
However, Honora and Sean’s presence in the forest is deeply suspect. It places them here around when Cillian was being attacked. Sean had a vendetta against Cosmina, and she died. Cillian kept Doug hidden from Sean, and he was attacked. Maybe Sean thought Bradford was the one who was trying to help Doug. And Bradford died the morning Honora came back.
Artemis isn’t going to like it, but we have to look into it. With all the demons Sean has at his disposal, surely a succubus type isn’t out of the question. I promised Rhys I’d research, but a trip to Dublin is a better strategy. This time I won’t leave without answers.
Leo is waiting for me on the edge of the castle grounds. His voice is bright against the darkness. “I was looking for you.”
“Oh gods, I have so much to fill you in on.”
Leo takes my elbow, spinning me back toward the forest and the path to Shancoom. “Great! We’re going this way.” He carries me along like a leaf caught in a current, his fingers a gentle guiding pressure.
“Is your mom already out here looking for mine? Because I was wrong. About everything. We need to get to Dublin.”
“There’s a lot we need to talk about. This way.”
“No, I need a car.”
He tugs my elbow, then stops when I don’t respond. “Athena. It will keep. The world isn’t going to end. Let’s just walk for a bit. Please?”
The predawn sky is slowly bruising with the promise of the sun. I can’t quite make out Leo’s expression, but his voice sounds strained. My phone buzzes with a text from Cillian. “Weird,” I say, shoving my cell back in my pocket.
“What?”
“Cillian wants me to come over and watch Eurovision. Odd request when he was technically dead a couple hours ago.” I pause. “Oh, you don’t know about that. A demon attacked him. I think it’s the same one who got Bradford and Cosmina. Our working theory is succubus. Do you think the text is a code? He needs help but can’t say? No, he would never use Eurovision lightly.” My phone buzzes again.
Everything is fine. Bunk off and come over right now. Rhys wants you to too.
Kind of busy, I text back.
Stop being busy. Or be busy here.
I’m with Leo.
Perfect! Bring him.
Cillian has Rhys to watch over him. They don’t need me. And Leo’s not quite right—the world might end. It tries to with aggravating frequency. One of these days, I could be the girl behind it.
Leo keeps looking over his shoulder like he’s expecting someone else. “We’ll go to Cillian’s, then. Check up on him. We can talk there.”
“No, Rhys is there, so Cillian’s safe. We have bigger problems. Sean and Honora attacked my mom and took Doug back to Dublin. My mom’s going after them. I am too. You can tell the Council. What’s left of it, anyway.” I turn toward the castle again.
“No!” Leo dances around me, blocking me. “Let’s go talk with Rhys and Cillian.” He glances over his shoulder again.
“Is someone else coming?”
“Nope. Let’s go.”
“Why aren’t you listening to me?” It stings. Leo is the one person who has listened to me this whole time, without fail. “Sean and Honora were here when Cillian was attacked. Bradford died the morning Honora showed up and was distracting us. Cosmina messed up Sean’s pit fight. I have to confront them.”
“No.” Leo is vehement. “It’s not your problem.”
Now he sounds like Artemis! I glare. “Umm, it definitely is. It’s my responsibility to protect the Watchers.”
“It’s not your responsibility, though.” Leo huffs in frustration. “They don’t need you.”
I step back, folding my arms. The sting of his words has turned to a deep cut.
He hurries on. “Besides, you have your whole life ahead of you. It’s hard to see, because you’ve been in between for so long. I understand . . .” He tips his head back. “God, I understand what it is to be two things at once, and at the same time not quite either.” He reaches out and takes my hands, fixing his eyes on mine. “You’re trying so hard to prove you have a place here. But you don’t need to. Please. Let me clean all this up for you. Let me redeem myself that way. I swore I’d protect you.”
His cool fingers slip between my own and he takes a sharp breath. His dark eyes clear of their distraction. They burn now, like coals breathed back to life. And then, before I realize what’s happening, he kisses me.
It’s like the first shock of diving into a cool pool on a summer day—bracing and delicious. He lingers, his lips over my bottom lip. “Run away,” he whispers. “Right now.”
I pull back, startled. I daydreamed this exact scenario more times than I could count back when I was thirteen. And if I’m being honest, maybe a few times since Leo returned. I laugh, but when he opens his eyes, he’s not laughing.
“Get Cillian and Rhys. Jump in Cillian’s car and go. Don’t ever look back.”
“And do what?”
“Anything!”
Why does everyone want me to leave? The thrill of the kiss has gone right back to pain at his words. “This is my home, Leo. Besides, are you going to run with me?”
“I can’t,” he says. “I have to—”
“Exactly. We all have things we have to do. I’m part of this too.”
“But you shouldn’t be.”
I flinch. Even my Watcher thinks I can’t handle being a Slayer. I thought he was the one person who really saw me. Maybe he is. And this is his conclusion: that I should leave it to the people who are capable. The ones who matter.
I untangle my fingers from his.
Dawn is here. That liminal space between night and day has broken, and with it, my reignited dream of being with Leo. The black of the trees overhead is slowly fading to reveal orange and brown. Soon the forest will wake up in a crisp salute to the changing seasons. The trees are gnarled and ancient, growing close together over the carpet of ferns.
Easy to get lost in here. And easy to hide. I’m done hiding.
Leo sighs, his face falling. He pulls out a phone. “Change of plans,” he says into it. “Meet me on the south end of Shancoom.” I edge around him, but he sticks out his arm, holding up a finger for the universal wait a sec symbol. “Yeah. I’m bringing her.” He pockets his phone, then gives me a tight smile. “I need you to come with me.”
I take a step back.
He takes a step forward. “I’ll explain when we get there. But we need to go. Now.”
I take another step back. My mind spins, turning to things I don’t want to consider. “Where were you this morning? You said you were going to stay in my room. And then you were gone.”
“Another thing I’ll explain. Trust me.” He holds out his hand.
I want to take it. More than anything. I want to kiss him again, to get lost in it. To luxuriate in the miracle of Leo Silvera wanting me. I want to walk through the woods holding hands, go hang out with Rhys and Cillian, turn this whole mess over to Wanda and Ruth and Eve.
But I can’t. I have to be a Slayer. I can’t take things to the Council, can’t wait for the bureaucracy to slowly churn to life and examine what’s happening. I have to act.
I finally agree with Buffy for giving up on us. We’re a mess. We can’t even take care of our own ranks, much less anyone else. I judged her because I could only see my side of it.
It’s different when you’re the one with the power. The choices are so much harder and so much more important
. What would Buffy do? She’d charge in and figure this all out with fists and sheer force of will. If people didn’t believe in her, she would make them. And she wouldn’t stop until she beat back anyone who threatened the ones she loved.
Buffy isn’t here right now. But I am. I’m the last Slayer.
Watchers had it wrong all along. They thought Slayers needed to be told what to do. To be kept out of trouble. But trouble is exactly where we belong. I reach out for that pool of anger. The channel of fury that ends in me. It’s a destructive force, but it’s also a powerful tool. I’ll use it to get to the bottom of this. To save the people I love.
I think of the Slayer who sacrificed herself for her village.
My grandmother, who died but saved her baby.
Buffy, who died to save the world—twice!—and was so stubborn she came back to save it yet again. I don’t think she was selfish or impulsive. I think she was doing the best she could in the middle of complete and utter chaos. Watchers try to control, try to predict. But in the end, we Slayers have to learn that all you can do is react and hope you win.
I’ve been racked with turmoil this whole time about what it means to be a Slayer. But one thing is clear to me now, without question—I want this. I can do this. I’m proud of what I am.
And I’m ready.
“Sorry, Leo. I have to finish this.” I angle around him toward home.
“Goddammit,” he mutters. Then he grabs me, spins me upward, and throws me over his shoulder as he starts running through the woods.
29
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I bounce with each jarring step Leo takes.
“Please keep your voice down. I don’t want to attract attention.”
“Well, I do!” My mind bounces as much as my body. Leo wasn’t in my room this morning when Cillian was attacked. Leo himself pointed out that everything started going haywire when he and his mom got back. Was he teasing me? Telling me the truth knowing I wouldn’t see it? Maybe the source of all this chaos and death is much closer to me. In this case, so close my chin is slamming against his lower back with every step.
Leo jumps over a fallen log. I use the momentum to swing up and grab hold of a branch. I hold on with all my strength, his forward motion ripping me out of his grasp. I scramble up the tree to where he can’t reach me. I look down, expecting rage, and see only panic.
“Please!” he says. “We don’t have much time!”
“No!” I climb higher.
“I promise I’ll explain, but we have to hurry.” He runs his hands through his hair, practically pulling it out.
I eye the next tree. I can make it. I jump, swinging on a branch and launching myself through the air. I slam into the trunk but hold on. A shower of red leaves and debris rains down beneath me.
Leo’s desperation turns to determination. He lowers his head and runs straight at my tree, barreling into it. It rips free from the ground with tearing roots and a tremendous crash. I’m trapped in a jumble of branches, the scent of soil and sap overwhelming.
I fight my way free. I’m strong, but I don’t think I could take down one of these old giants in a single blow. If my strength is superhuman, Leo’s is . . . inhuman.
All those hours I spent spying on him training with Rhys. His movements were always so careful. So precise. I thought it was because he was good, but what if it was because he was hiding how much more he was?
Leo has me blocked in by the tree. “I really am sorry. But you’re coming with me.”
How is this happening? Leo is a lifelong Watcher, from a Watcher mother. And his father—
His father died before Leo was born. I’ve never actually heard anything about him. Dead fathers aren’t remarkable in our community, but I suspect Leo’s father was extremely remarkable in the worst possible ways.
“Let’s stop saying sorry so much,” I say. “But I am sorry for this.” I push up off the tree, jumping in the air and kicking him in the chest with both feet.
It’s like hitting a mountain. I bounce off, landing hard on the ground.
“Ow,” I whimper.
Leo picks me up. He sets me on my feet, keeping his hands on my shoulders. “Any injuries?”
“What are you?” I know with a despairing and fearful certainty that my kick would have sent any human flying. “How are you still standing?”
His smile is as sad and empty as a good-bye. “I defy gravity. Rhys will explain. We have to—”
I twist out of his hands and dart past him. One of my ankles is sore from the impact with his chest, but I race as fast as I can. I know where I’m going. I’ve been there enough times in the last few hours to have the path memorized. I still have my stake, but I can’t imagine plunging it into Leo’s chest.
Buffy once had to slide a sword into her boyfriend’s heart. Oh, Buffy. You are so much stronger than I am. But I have an idea.
I slide to a stop in Doug’s campsite, snagging the torn Coldplay T-shirt just as Leo grabs me.
He swings me up and around his shoulders so I’m facing the same direction he is, my body bent around his upper back. I’m locked in place by one arm around my knees and his other one bracing my neck. He looks down at my face.
And I shove Doug’s damp-with-psychotropic-demon-ooze shirt right in his mouth.
Leo staggers back. He shakes his head, then drops me to pull the shirt free. “What did you—” The tension in his body melts away. His expression turns sweet and open with bliss. It shows exactly how careful his expressions have always been. Even when he was smiling at me with what I thought was sincerity, he held back. I had been viewing Leo through a carefully constructed screen.
Now?
“You’re so pretty.” He reaches down and grabs my hands to help me stand. Then he gently brushes the hair from my face, letting his fingers linger there. “When I came back and saw you again for the first time, it was like—it was like magic. All the magic that was gone went right into you.”
It’s even worse than if he hit me. It hurts. “Would have loved this information before you tried to kidnap me.”
“Oh, right.” Leo tries to frown. His face wars with itself before resettling in his dimpled smile. I didn’t know his dimples even went that deep. Another detail I would have loved before suspecting him of being evil. “Rhys’s waiting for us. We should go. It’ll be fun. I’ll go with you. I should run away too. I don’t want to be me anymore.” He beams, holding up a strand of my hair to a ray of sunshine breaking through the thick trees. “I can’t believe a color like this exists on people. It feels like magic. Everything about you feels like magic. You’re too good to be a Watcher. They hurt people. You don’t hurt anyone.” He strokes my hair. “Magic.”
I steer Leo to the bench and push him down to sit. “Explain yourself.”
He laughs. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. The only thing that matters is us. Let’s be happy.” He stands up and tries to kiss me.
I put my hand on his chest and gently push him back to sitting. “No, sir. Not just because I think you’re not human and maybe, possibly a murderer as well. Oh gods, please don’t be a murderer. But also because you’re super high, and it would be like taking advantage. Why were you kidnapping me? And what are you?”
Leo giggles. It’s adorable and awful and useless. Just my luck, the demon drugging didn’t loosen Leo’s tongue, only his happiness.
I try changing tactics. “Rhys and Cillian are safe, right? You didn’t hurt them after I left?”
“I would never. I don’t hurt anyone. Even when I’m hungry.”
“What? You eat people?”
“It’s not like that. Besides, I like Rhys and Cillian. They’re nice. But not as nice as you.”
Please let him be drugged enough to be telling the truth. I already feel sick, gutted by the fact that he’s been lying to me our whole lives. I can’t believe I picked a worse crush than Artemis. Wait—did I pick a worse crush than Buffy?
I have to get away from him. I don’t think
I can restrain him, though. I’ll go for speed and hope the Doug drugging doesn’t wear off fast. “Hey, you know what would make me super happy? Sit right here.”
He grabs my hands, his smile painfully intense. “You deserve so much better than me. But I’m still glad I came back. Even with all the harm I’ve done. Is that selfish?” His face briefly clouds. Then he’s distracted by my hands. “Look at your fingers. They’re perfect. I’ll make sure you never have to punch anything again.”
I withdraw my hand and pat Leo on the head. “Wait here. I’ll be right back!”
He nods, his hands encircling my waist. “Hurry, okay? There’s something we need to do. I’m trying to remember. . . .”
“I’ll hurry!” I twist free and walk away, periodically turning to wave at Leo so he won’t get alarmed and snap out of it. A bird lands nearby, distracting him.
I change direction, sprinting out of Leo’s sight line.
Hot tears fill my eyes. The boy I let myself trust and fall for again is possibly a demon. I don’t know where my mother and her demon conspiring and Slayer tracking fit into all of this or if she’s in trouble. I still have to chase down Honora and Sean. And I’ve got to tell the castle that Leo Silvera has gone bad.
It’s even worse than the last time my crush on him crushed me. Because this time, I’m certain he actually cares about me. And it doesn’t change anything. It only makes me an absolute idiot for not suspecting him sooner.
• • •
I throw open our bedroom door. “Artemis! It wasn’t Doug or Mom. And we’ve got another problem because— Oh, hello, Mrs. Silvera, what are you doing here?”
Artemis gapes at me as I give Eve my best I didn’t just leave your probably demonic son high in the middle of the woods smile. Until I know what Leo’s secrets are, I’m not giving his mother information. I hate that suspicion has clouded the trust I have in Eve. For some reason it’s worse than suspecting my mom was up to no good. Maybe because Eve has never failed me.
She sits on my bed and crosses her legs, resting her hands primly on her knee. “Artemis had some very disturbing news about your mother. I’m concerned.”
Slayer Page 29