by Shirley Jump
Jeremiah looked at Luke for a good long time. They shared a history, with good memories and bad, promises made and promises broken. It seemed as if all that history filled the moments of silence while Jeremiah thought over Luke’s offer. After a moment that seemed to stretch on forever, he nodded. “Only if you stock the fridge with Dr. Pepper.”
“Sorry.” Luke grinned. “I’m strictly a ginger-ale guy now. It’s the drink of grown-ups everywhere.”
Jeremiah laughed, long and hard, and the sound of it was music to Luke’s ears. “I guess a man can learn to change.”
“I guess he can,” Luke said, and he sat back against the faded plaid sofa, thinking maybe if he could change this one thing, then maybe there was hope he could change the rest.
Chapter Fourteen
Peyton sat on the back deck of her friend Cassie’s two-story house in Stone Gap and looked up at the sky. It was broad daylight, so there was nothing visible above her head but a few wispy clouds and a bright yellow sun. No stars to tell her which way she should go.
“The munchkin is watching a movie with a couple of my rug rats,” Cassie said, joining Peyton and handing her a glass of ice water. “She’s got her bear and a juice box, so that gives us a few minutes to talk. You want to tell me why you’re packing up and leaving town before your two weeks are up?”
“I have a lot of work to do for one of my design projects and it would be easier if I was back in Baltimore to go over samples and—”
“Bull crap. You can hand that off to someone else. And your boss is expecting you to stay here the full two weeks.” Cassie laid a caring hand on Peyton’s shoulder. “So what’s really running you out of here?”
Peyton sighed. “Luke.”
“Did he screw up?” Cassie said. “Because if he broke that little girl’s heart, I will kill him myself and stuff him like a Thanksgiving turkey.”
“No, he didn’t do anything wrong. And that’s the problem.” Peyton turned to her friend. Tears welled in her eyes, but Peyton refused to let them fall. “He was a wonderful dad. He taught her to swim and made her smile and laugh again and believe in...magic.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I’m leaving because...” Peyton shook her head and let out a gust. “He broke my heart.”
“I’ll still kill him and stuff him,” Cassie muttered. “What did he do?”
“It’s what I did.” Peyton spun her glass and watched the ice cubes tumble over each other. “I fell in love with him and he...he doesn’t feel the same.”
Cassie put a fist on her hip. “Well, did you tell him how you felt?”
“Not in so many words. But don’t you think he should have known?”
Cassie took both of Peyton’s shoulders and turned her until they were facing each other. “Oh, girlfriend, you are one of the smartest, bravest people I know. You went after your career like an animal, left town right after graduation. You set up house for your sister and her new baby, taking on all those responsibilities that some people don’t take on until they’re thirty, hell, ever. But when it comes to love, you are the biggest scaredy-cat in the world.” Cassie leaned in and lowered her voice. “You are too busy taking care of everyone else to see that you are giving yourself the short end of the stick.”
“I’m not. I’m raising Maddy and working my job and—”
Cassie put out her hands. “See? Proves my point. Where on that list is Peyton?”
“It’s hard for me, Cassie.” Peyton shook her head. “You don’t understand. I spent years taking care of everyone else. Somebody had to, or no one would get to school or eat or—”
Cassie placed her palms on Peyton’s cheeks. Her hazel eyes softened. “You know what they say. Put the oxygen mask on you first, then everyone else. It’s okay to fall in love. It’s okay to decide you want to live here, near your best friend and the man who makes your heart sing, and it’s okay to say My life has changed and I no longer want the same things I did before. That’s not failure, that’s taking a chance. Allowing yourself to want something else, something more.”
“What do you mean?”
Cassie sighed. “Do you really want that promotion? The hours, the expectations? Or do you really want to be a mom to that little angel in the other room and run your own interior design business from home? Maybe buy one of those cute little Southern homes and turn it into the kind of place that makes other women green with envy, so they’ll hire you on the spot.”
Peyton turned away. She set her drink on the railing and looked out at the green expanse of Cassie’s lawn. Bikes, balls and sundry toys littered the grass, as if a happy family life had burst in that space. “That’s a whole lot of change, Cassie. I don’t know.”
“If there is one thing having five kids has taught me, it’s that change is the only thing you can count on. And if you don’t take the time to put yourself first when the opportunity arises, pretty soon you’re going to get lost in the dinners and cleaning and homework.” Cassie gave her friend a quick, strong hug. “So don’t get lost, and don’t be afraid to lean on the family you got right here in Stone Gap. We’re not going anywhere. And neither should you.”
After Cassie went inside, Peyton headed to the living room and snuggled on the couch with Maddy. The other kids had gone to the kitchen for snacks, leaving Peyton and Maddy alone. “What’s happening in the movie, monkey?”
“The princess is going home wif the prince to tell her mommy and daddy that she’s gonna get married.”
“That’s awesome.”
Maddy nodded. She had her bear against her chest and the corner of an afghan fisted in one hand. On the screen, the cartoon princess started singing and dancing around the castle.
“So...” Peyton said, affecting a chipper tone, even though deep inside a painful fissure had been widening in her heart ever since she’d left Luke’s house, “since today is your birthday, I thought we’d go to the store and buy whatever toy you wanted.”
Maddy played with Bo’s hair. “I don’t wanna toy, Auntie P.”
“Then what do you want for your birthday?”
Maddy turned and her blue eyes welled. “I want my mommy to come back.”
Peyton’s heart broke. She gathered Maddy to her chest and rested her chin on Maddy’s head, to hide her own tears from her niece. Maddy climbed onto Peyton’s lap, her thin arms wrapping tight around Peyton’s waist.
“I want that, too, baby,” Peyton said, “but she can’t come back. Your mommy is up in heaven, with my mommy, and she can’t visit or live here anymore. But she can watch you all the time.”
“She’s really not comin’ back?” Maddy’s voice cracked.
Peyton drew back and shook her head. The realization hit Maddy and her face crumpled, then her tears became rivers running down her cheeks. Peyton’s composure wobbled, then fractured, and her own tears brimmed over. This time, she didn’t try to shield Maddy from her grief. For so long, Peyton had tried so hard to hold it together because she was afraid that if she cried, Maddy would fall apart, too. But maybe that was what Maddy needed most—to see that the other person who loved her mother was equally heartbroken by the loss. “No, sweetie. And I wish she was, because I miss her all the time.”
“Me, too, Auntie P.”
Peyton brushed Maddy’s bangs off her forehead and pressed a tender kiss in that spot. “She loved you more than anything in the world, sweetie, and she wanted you to be happy. And I know she’d be proud as punch to see you turning four today. You’re a great big, wonderful girl.”
Maddy’s smile trembled, but it held. “And do you think she saw me swimmin’ wif Luke?”
“I bet she was up there, cheering and shouting, so excited that you were such a brave girl.”
Maddy thought about that for a moment. She rested her head on Peyton’s chest and Peyton held her tight, inhaling the sweet strawberry scent of Maddy’s shampoo. “I like Luke a lot, Auntie P. Can we see him today? Cuz it’s my birthday and he says I can play with C
harlie.”
See Luke. Tell him what she was feeling. And take a risk, make a change. Could she handle that?
Could she handle the regrets she would have if she didn’t?
Peyton ruffled Maddy’s curls. “Sure. I think that’s a great idea.” She was done running from what scared her. Heading back to Maryland wasn’t going to change anything, and would only delay the big decisions she needed to make. Peyton needed to stay here and see this through to the end, no matter how things worked out with Luke. For Maddy’s sake.
Peyton helped Maddy get dressed in the new clothes Cassie had bought her, putting a bright yellow sundress on her niece, then a floral headband in her hair. There were new light-up sandals from Peyton to complete the outfit, which made Maddy giggle. Along with a matching Barbie doll, and a teeny-tiny purse that Peyton had seen Maddy admire in a store earlier that week. Maddy delighted over every present, insisting on modeling with them in Cassie’s bedroom mirror.
As they were leaving, Maddy lifted her blue eyes—Luke’s eyes—to Peyton’s. “Auntie P, am I gonna get a birthday cake today?”
“Sure you will, monkey.”
“Good, cuz I wanna make a wish.”
“You do, huh?” Peyton handed Maddy the new purse and doll. “And what are you going to wish for?”
Maddy clutched the doll to her chest with one arm, her bear with the other. “I’m gonna wish for a daddy just like the princess’s. A daddy, and a grandma.”
Above Maddy’s head, Cassie gave Peyton a sad, understanding smile. Peyton looked back at Maddy and thought all she wanted was to see that look of happiness in Maddy’s eyes forever. It was as fragile as a new ember, and Peyton knew exactly what she needed to do to fuel the fire going forward. “I know just where we can get both of those, sweetie.”
* * *
Luke left three messages for Peyton. When she didn’t return his calls, he swung by the hotel, but the front desk told him she had checked out already.
She was gone, and he had missed her.
How could he have been such a fool? He should have told her last night—before they’d made love—that he was utterly, completely in love with her. That he’d fallen in love with her sitting beside her on the balcony of the hotel, telling the story of Orion. That he couldn’t imagine a day without her smile, her tender touch. And that he was going to do whatever it took to get her back.
He packed an overnight bag, then got back in his car and headed over to his mother’s house. The driveway was filled with cars—both his parents’ cars, as well as Jack and Meri’s Jeep. Sunday dinner, a regular occurrence at Della and Bobby’s house, and one of those traditions that Luke really liked. Maybe someday he’d do the same with his own wife and child. For a second, he allowed himself to picture that future, seeing Maddy grow up, them forming a life with—
No. That wasn’t going to do him any good at all. Peyton had left town; she’d made her feelings crystal clear. He was just going to have to accept the idea that there was a very real chance he was going to end up a single dad, sharing custody across state lines. With his heart breaking every time he saw or talked to Peyton.
He got out of the car, gathering up Charlie’s leash, dog food and bowl. The mutt followed along, as happy as a clam to be going to his second home—where Bobby would sneak him bites of chicken under the table. Luke opened the door and went inside. A football game was playing on the big-screen TV in the front room, where Bobby and Jack sat on the leather sofa, debating the last pass. He saw Meri in the kitchen, helping Della put the finishing touches on a platter of roast chicken.
As soon as she heard the door open, Della dropped what she was doing and ran up to him, then peered around his shoulders. “Where are Peyton and Maddy? I have a birthday cake all ready, and some sparkly candles that I’m sure she’s going to love.”
The sadness and disappointment hit Luke again like a wave. He never should have run out this morning to pull that truck out of the ditch. He should have called in a favor from Jack, then stayed and finished that conversation with Peyton.
“Peyton is going back to Maryland.” Luke laid Charlie’s stuff on the bench in the hallway. “I’m going after her, so I was hoping you could watch Charlie.”
“Sure, sure,” Della said. Her face softened, and she reached out to her son. “I’m so sorry, Luke.”
“What’s this I hear about a granddaughter coming for dinner?” Bobby’s booming voice entered the hall before he did. His father was still hearty and strong, even though his painful knees caused him to limp a bit. He had on a bright orange shirt for his favorite team, the opposite color of what Jack was wearing, which meant the two of them were undoubtedly arguing over the best team in the NFL again.
“Uh, she’s not coming,” Luke said. Even saying it a second time didn’t make it any easier to swallow. He’d screwed this up, but he was going to make it right before the end of the day. “I’m hoping—”
“What do you mean, not coming? Isn’t that Peyton in the driveway right now?” Bobby pointed out the open front door.
Luke spun around, his heart leaping. He had to blink twice before he believed his eyes, but sure enough, there was Peyton, looking beautiful in an off-white sundress, flanked by Maddy, who was marching up the walk in a yellow dress and light-up sandals. She had her bear in one hand, a new Barbie in the other and a tiny purse dangling from one wrist.
Then Maddy raised her gaze to the porch and spied Luke. Her face broke into a wide smile, and a second later, she was running, her blond curls flying out behind her like wings.
Luke sprinted down the stairs and opened his arms to Maddy just as she sailed into his chest. It was just like the first time they’d met, except this time, Luke caught his daughter and held on tight. He closed his eyes, inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo and counted his blessings. “Hey, kiddo. Happy birthday.”
“T’ank you, Luke,” Maddy said, stepping back, out of his embrace. “Auntie P said we were comin’ to your house for my birthday and I was sooooo happy.”
Peyton bent down beside them. Her eyes met his, and he saw a flicker of hurt in those green depths. There were clearly still things the two of them needed to talk about, but for now, she was here, with his daughter. Luke took that as a good sign.
Peyton turned to her niece. She drew in a deep breath, then waited a beat before she spoke. “Sweetie, I have something very important to tell you before we go inside. Something that’s kind of a surprise.” Peyton took Luke’s hand in one of her own, and Maddy’s in the other. “Luke is not just a friend of mine. He’s also your...daddy.”
“My...” Maddy looked at Luke. “Daddy?”
Luke wondered if it was possible for a man’s heart to burst the first time he heard his child say that word. Daddy. Two syllables that made everything else in his life pale in comparison. “Remember how I told you I used to know your mommy? We were boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time, and that’s when I became your daddy.” That, he figured, was as technical as he wanted to get about the birds and the bees with a four-year-old.
Maddy looked from Luke to Peyton, her brows knitted in confusion. “But how’s come you didn’t tell me?”
“Because...” Peyton’s voice trailed off, and in her face, he saw her wrestle with the truth. There was so much past history between Susannah, him and Peyton, past history that Maddy didn’t need to know. He was ready to start with the here and now and let the past stay where it was.
“Because we thought it would be the most special birthday present ever,” Luke said, and Peyton gave him a grateful nod. “So your Auntie P brought you here, so that you can meet my whole family today. You have a grandma and a grandpa, and two uncles, and an aunt, and—”
“I have a grandma?” Maddy said. Hope filled her voice, lit her eyes. “And a grandpa?”
Luke turned back to the house and saw his family, now emerging through the front door to assemble on the front porch. “And they already love you to pieces. Just like I do, kiddo.” He put out
his arms and Maddy stepped into his embrace. When her arms went around his neck, and her head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, he thought there was nothing better in the world than this moment. “Happy birthday, Maddy-girl. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Daddy,” she whispered.
No, that, Luke decided, that was the best thing in the world. Ever.
I love you, too, Daddy.
He wanted to hold on to this moment forever. To capture it in a shadow box and hang it on his heart. He closed his eyes and held tight for a long time. Then he hoisted his daughter in his arms, along with her bear and her doll and her purse, and put out his hand for Peyton. “Family dinner awaits.”
She shook her head. “It’s for family, so I really should—”
“Really should come, too. Because like it or not, you’re part of this crazy family. For good.” He took Peyton’s hand and raised it to his lips.
“I’ve never had a Sunday family dinner,” Peyton said. Tears shimmered in her eyes but his strong and stubborn Peyton didn’t let them fall.
He thought of the young girl he used to know, the one who had made it her mission in life to care for all those around her because no one was caring for her. He couldn’t undo the long road she’d taken to get here, but he could start paving a new path today.
“Then let’s start right now, Peyton. With our family.” He nodded to his parents, brother and sister-in-law-to-be. “The one you and our daughter just inherited.”
“Okay,” Peyton said, with a little hesitation and a lot of happiness in her voice. “But I didn’t bring anything for dinner.”
“You brought the only thing anyone wanted to see. One awesome four-year-old.”
They strode up the walkway and into the house, where Maddy was immediately wrapped in the warm embrace of more family members than she could count. Charlie circled the laughing, talking group and let out little yips of approval, while Della bustled back and forth, adding streamers and a birthday tablecloth to the table. In seconds, it had gone from a typical family dinner to an all-out celebration.