by Noah Beck
The first years in Israel were difficult, and Michael’s father had to eke out a livelihood by tutoring math and science and working as a waiter. But he would eventually rise to a teaching position at the Technion, where he was ultimately offered tenure as a full professor. He became academically renowned for developing drought-resistant crops that could help address agricultural challenges in Africa and potential crop shortages in other areas impacted by climate change. Michael’s mother opened up a music school after performing for a few years in the Israeli Philharmonic. Their one and only son was born a year after they arrived in Israel.
Michael and Boutrous’ very different backgrounds were entirely irrelevant when the two were on duty in the Dolphin. Submarine survival and efficacy meant there was little room for discord, whether over religion, ethnicity, politics, or any other reason. During an off-duty political discussion, however, the natural differences among crewmembers could surface, even if the discussion was an entirely unplanned byproduct of a poker game.
They each put a few Shekels on the table.
“I still can’t believe Iran has the bomb now,” Michael began.
“I know. My parents must be freaking out,” Eitan responded. “The Mullahs couldn’t kill them in Iran because they escaped, but now they can try to kill them in Israel.”
“Yeah,” Michael agreed. “I don’t know who’s safer now: our families on land, or we in this submarine.”
“Too bad that reformer guy didn’t win the Iranian election in 2009,” Ambesah replied. “Mir something...What was his name?”
“Mir Mousavi, wasn’t it?” Michael responded.
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Are you serious? That would have made no difference at all,” Bao retorted, as he dealt two cards to himself and two to each of the other players.
“It might have. At least he didn’t deny the Holocaust. And he seemed interested in improving relations with the West,” Ambesah replied. Each player took a moment to look discreetly at his cards.
“I raise,” said Eitan, looking at his queen of hearts and queen of diamonds and adding two Shekels to his wager. “But I’m pretty sure he still wanted a civilian nuclear program – at least that’s what my parents said about him.”
“So what? Do you worry about France’s civilian nuclear program? Oh, and I raise you two more,” Ambesah said, adding four Shekels to his bet, confident in his ace of clubs and ace of spades.
“You’re comparing Iran to France?” Eitan asked. “I call,” he said, adding two more Shekels.
Boutrous chimed in: “I don’t really know much about this Mir guy, but if he’s a leader who can make Iran into a moderate, reasonable country…You know, more democratic and less hostile to other countries in the region – then what’s the problem if they have a nuclear energy program?”
“That’s a massive ‘if,’” Michael replied. “As we like to say, if grandma had wheels, she’d be a bus.”
“Exactly,” Bao said. “You really think that overnight this one guy’s gonna change an entire political system that’s based on 30 years of radical Islamic ideology? Sorry but that’s fucking delusional...I fold,” the officer said, putting down his two of spades and seven of hearts.
“Well, maybe it would have been worth trying,” Boutrous replied. “I call,” he added, looking at his ace and king of diamonds and pushing forward four more Shekels.
“If he came to power it would have just put a nice face on the Iranian nuclear program,” Eitan quipped, “And then the world powers wouldn’t have been able to unite even for economic sanctions.”
“Like those sanctions did any good,” Michael said, still thinking about his hand.
“Well, it was something,” Boutrous replied.
“Something? Yeah, cheap oil for China, that’s what it was…I fold,” Michael said, throwing down his cards, an eight of clubs and a three of hearts. “The sanctions were just a way for world powers to feel like they didn’t have their thumbs up their asses when it came to the Iranian nuclear threat. But they don’t do shit. Cuba and North Korea have survived sanctions for decades.”
“Saddam Hussein survived sanctions for over a decade too,” Bao added, discarding the top card of the deck and flipping the next three cards face up on the table: an ace and a king of hearts, and a queen of clubs.
“Well, that’s why you just need regime change,” Ambesah said. “And this Mir guy could have brought a real change,” he added, seeing that he now had three aces. “I bet two.”
“Maybe. But the problem is, you never know how long that new guy will stay in power,” Eitan argued. “He could get assassinated by political rivals. Or fanatics who hate his more moderate policies.” Eitan saw that he now had three queens. “I call,” he said, adding two more Shekels.
“I guess,” Ambesah conceded.
“And the Iranian power structure is very complicated,” Michael added. “The president doesn’t actually decide nuclear policy. The most powerful guy is really Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.”
“Right,” agreed Eitan. “So how much difference could a reformist like Mousavi really make? As president, he can’t actually ensure that the nuclear program will stay civilian.”
Boutrous saw that he had a pair of aces and a pair of kings and called, putting in two more Shekels. Bao burned another card off the top and then placed the next card face up. It was a three of diamonds, which helped no one.
“I bet two,” Ambesah said, pushing forward two more Shekels. Boutrous and Eitan each called.
Bao dealt the river: a six of spades. The three remaining players each bet two more Shekels and then showed their hands. Ambesah claimed the pot with his three aces.
“I can’t believe I just lost with three queens!” Eitan said, shaking his head. “Bastard!”
As Bao collected the cards and started shuffling for the next round, he said, “I want to read you guys something that I’ve been carrying with me on missions for the last few months.”
“What is it?” Eitan asked.
Bao put aside the stack of collected cards and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. It was a printout. He started reading from it.
“Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, said on December 15, 2000 that ‘Iran’s position, first expressed by the Imam, and stated several times by those responsible, is that the cancerous tumor called Israel must be uprooted from the region.’ And in April – ”
“There’s worse,” Eitan interrupted. “What about the photos of Shihab 3 missiles with banners on them saying, ‘Israel must be uprooted and wiped from history?’”
“Wait, there’s much more,” Bao continued. “In April of 2005, Grand Ayatollah Nouri-Hamedani said, ‘One should fight the Jews and vanquish them so that the conditions for the advent of the Hidden Imam will be met.’”
“What about when the Iranian regime displayed an English edition of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion at the Frankfurt International Book Fair?” Michael asked. “Trying to spread the anti-Semitic idea invented by the Russians, and embraced by the Nazis, that Jews are these evil people conspiring to rule the world.”
The conversation they were having suddenly reminded Michael of the last discussion he had had with his parents at the picnic.
****
“Did you hear that yesterday Iran entered the zone of immunity? And today it again threatened to wipe Israel off the map?” his father asked.
“They’ve been making that threat for years,” Michael replied almost dismissively, in the hope that it would reassure his father a little.
“And it’s still not too late for them to make good on it, especially now that we can’t stop them with our air force.”
“Are you worried?”
“My instincts were developed in a Russian schoolyard,” his father replied.
“What do you mean?”
“There, when the bullies threatened you because you were a Jew, it was only a matter of time before they eventually found you, when yo
u were alone and looking vulnerable.”
“So the Middle East is like a Russian schoolyard?” Michael’s mother asked, looking a little disappointed in the comparison.
“You have to be aggressive and strong to survive in this neighborhood. And it’s not just my personal experience that tells me that.”
“You mean world history?” Michael asked.
“Yes. Hitler didn’t just wake up one day and decide to murder six million Jews. There was a gradual program of discrimination, incitement, and dehumanization that preceded his genocidal program.”
“Yes,” agreed his mother. “To get tens of millions of German soldiers and civilians to cooperate with his plan to exterminate the Jews, he first had to persuade them that this was the right thing to do. Hitler had to convince his people that the Jews were subhuman creatures that deserved to die. And the Iranian regime has been calling Israel a cancer and a microbe for years now.”
“Remember when they organized an international ‘World Without Zionism Conference?’” his father asked. “They’ve been preparing the Iranian public, and the Muslim world at large, for the idea that the world will be a better place if Israel is destroyed. So I take Iran’s threats to exterminate Israel as seriously as people should have taken Hitler’s threats to annihilate the Jews.”
“Well, the Jews that Hitler annihilated didn’t have a Dolphin,” Michael said, gesturing to the giant submarine behind them with a half smile and a twinkle in his eye.
“Yes. Let’s hope it’s enough this time.”
****
Michael returned to the Dolphin that his father had hoped would be enough to protect everyone. Bao was still reading from his list of quotes.
“On February 18, 2008, Major General Mohammad Ali Jaafari, head of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, said, ‘In the near future, we will witness the destruction of the cancerous microbe Israel by the strong and capable hands of … Hezbollah.’”
“We get the idea,” Boutrous said, trying to stop the recital.
“Wait I’m almost done,” Bao persisted. “On the occasion of Israel’s 60-year anniversary in 2008, Iranian President Ahmadinejad said, ‘Those who think they can revive the stinking corpse of the usurping and fake Israeli regime by throwing a birthday party are seriously mistaken. Today the reason for the Zionist regime’s existence is questioned, and this regime is on its way to annihilation.’”
“Don’t you think he says that stuff just to be more popular with his people?” Boutrous asked.
“You just proved our point for us,” Michael retorted. “If saying crap like that makes him more popular, what does that tell you?”
Bao continued his reading: “Ahmadinejad also stated that Israel ‘has reached the end like a dead rat after being slapped by the Lebanese…The Zionist regime is dying…The criminals…should know that regional nations hate this fake and criminal regime and if the smallest and briefest chance is given to regional nations, they will destroy (it).’”
Boutrous: “Enough already! You’re turning us into dead rats by slapping us with your list!”
“No, keep going, Bao. But find us a quote from someone else so that Boutrous doesn’t think that it’s just about Ahmadinejad trying to win a popularity contest,” Michael said sarcastically.
Bao carried on: “OK, here’s another one from the most powerful leader in Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. On February 3, 2012, he addressed thousands of worshipers attending a Tehran University prayer service, and he said ‘The Zionist regime is a cancerous tumor and it will be removed.’ He said that Iran has helped Hezbollah and the Palestinian Hamas in their fights against Israel, and the crowd reportedly responded by chanting ‘Death to Israel.’” Bao looked up from the printout.
Michael suddenly remembered an incident that Bao hadn’t mentioned: “Or when the Iranian Vice-President said that the Talmud was responsible for the spread of illegal drugs around the world? He also claimed that gynecologists were killing black babies on the orders of the Zionists. And that the Bolshevik Revolution in 1917 was started by Jews.”
“So what’s your point?” Boutrous asked.
“That you can’t have all of this hatred and incitement going on for over a decade and then it gets changed overnight by one reformer,” Michael replied.
“It’s not ten years – this hatred goes back to 1979,” Eitan corrected him. “Just ask my parents who had to escape it.”
Bao was still looking through his list of quotes. “Hold on, one more. The last one.”
“You promise it’s the last?” Boutrous asked. “We’re here for poker, not quote recitals.”
“Yes,” Bao promised. “You have to hear this last one – it’s my favorite, because it’s from one of the so-called moderates in the regime: Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani. He was the president from 1989 to 1997 and is still influential. So this is what a powerful ‘moderate’ said in his Jerusalem Day speech in Tehran, on December 14, 2001: ‘If one day, the Islamic world is also equipped with weapons like those that Israel possesses now, then the imperialists’ strategy will reach a standstill because the use of even one nuclear bomb inside Israel will destroy everything. However, it will only harm the Islamic world. It is not irrational to contemplate such an eventuality…Jews shall expect to be once again scattered and wandering around the globe the day when this appendix is extracted from the region and the Muslim world.’”
“How has the world not seen this for what it is?” Eitan asked.
Boutrous looked impressed by the last quote. “He’s basically saying that Iran, or the Islamic world at large, can accept some minor losses if it means they can destroy Israel in the process. He’s describing a fairly rational strategy, if you think about it,” he said.
“It’s absolutely rational when considered in global and ideological terms,” Eitan added. “Iran is about 80 times larger than Israel in land area.”
“Yeah, if the Iranians nuke Israel, the country is finished,” Michael said. “And half of the 14 million Jews in the world are gone.”
Eitan continued: “And it’s doubtful if the remaining half could even survive, given their high intermarriage rate in the United States and Europe.”
Bao jumped in: “Well, thanks to our little boat here, Israel can still retaliate with a nuclear attack that kills a few million Iranians. So don’t fuck with us, Iran.”
“But what’s a few million dead to a fanatic regime that rules over 70 million people?” Eitan asked rhetorically.
Michael complemented Eitan’s point: “And if they think of it in terms of a religious war, then they destroyed half of the Jews in the world but – with over a billion Muslims on the planet – any retaliation from our sub would destroy not even one percent of the Muslims. So they win the war of religions, hands down.”
“Good point,” Bao conceded, reluctantly toning down his bravado. He looked at Ambesah, almost disappointed. “How can you think that a reformer would make any difference to the overall strategic picture we’re describing here?”
Eitan continued: “We’re talking about a country that lost over half a million young people and half a trillion dollars in an eight-year war with Iraq that didn’t resolve shit. So why not sacrifice a few million Iranians if it means that you become the dominant power in the Middle East and can take credit for eliminating evil Israel?”
Boutrous tried to come to Ambesah’s defense: “Yes, but if Iran actually destroyed Israel then they’d also be destroying the millions of Palestinians they’re always talking about trying to defend.”
“You think the Iranian regime actually gives a shit about them?” Michael countered. “If they cared so much about Palestinians, don’t you think they would’ve sent money for things like schools and hospitals?”
“Or at least invested money productively in their economy,” Eitan added.
“Right. Instead, all the money that they’ve given to the Palestinians went to Hamas and Islamic Jihad for the sole purpose of attacking Israel militarily,” Michael contin
ued. “And we can see how much that’s really helped the Palestinians.”
“Oh, and Muslim terrorism has probably killed more Muslims than non-Muslims, so the fact that lots of Muslims might die if Iran destroyed Israel would hardly stop them,” Bao added.
“Good point,” Michael agreed. “If anything, those Palestinian victims would just be part of the total cost – like the millions of Iranians who would die from Israel’s retaliation. That’s a cost that they’re prepared to accept, at least according to Rafsanjani’s logic.”
“OK, maybe I was being a little naïve about changing the system there,” Ambesah conceded.
“A little?” Eitan smiled, giving Ambesah a friendly pat on the back.
“But why have you been carrying that printout with you?” Ambesah asked.