My Beginning With Mr. Darcy [Book Two]

by Lauren King

  “How are you, Georgie? Do you need anything? You can always call for more punch if you want.” Elizabeth smiles good-naturedly as she sits beside Georgiana on the sofa.

  “I am fine, Lizzy. Where is William? Why are you not dancing?” Georgiana asks eagerly.

  “I came to check on you. Are you bored? Do you want to go home?”

  “No, I am fine here. Are you having fun dancing? Did you dance with William?” Georgiana is animated to know that Elizabeth is having fun with all the dancing. She wishes she could stand in the ball room to watch everybody dance; she does not know if she is ready to dance with anyone yet. She knows the basic steps of some of the dances, but she has not practiced them much due to the fact that she is not allowed to dance at any engagements because she is not out, yet.

  “Yes, I danced the first set with William.” Elizabeth is trying hard not to be distracted with what William is doing right now.

  “Well, you better go back out there or else William may be looking for you.”

  “I do not think he is looking for me. He is busy talking with…others, but I will go back out in any case. If you want to go home early, then I will go with you. You just need to send word to me, alright? I will not mind.” Elizabeth is jealous enough to want to go home and not have to see William be sweet to other ladies. Is she being silly by being so jealous? William is only talking with some ladies…but he is rather sweet with that one young lady. Elizabeth needs to find out more about this. She desperately hopes that there is nothing for her to worry about concerning William.

  “Alright, Lizzy, but do not worry about me here. I have been talking to two other nice girls. They stepped away for a little bit with their companions. They will be back momentarily.”

  “Alright then, Georgie; I will go back to the ballroom.”

  “Oh, there they are.”

  “Alright, I will see you later, then.” Elizabeth passes by the two girls that Georgiana had mentioned, and she hears them giggling about how very handsome William is. This makes Elizabeth smile gently; she has always known that William is extremely handsome but to hear it confirmed by other ladies is exciting. They giggle some more and say that they are certain that their Cousin Juliet will be able to secure William because she is very pretty and is greatly admired by many gentlemen; gentlemen do anything she asks of them.

  Elizabeth breathes in deeply as she walks back out to the ballroom to await her next dance partner. She does not know any other young ladies here, thus she decides to stand near Lady Matlock’s group, but she does not want to intrude, so she stands slightly off to the side next to a pillar near the balcony door. She feels rather self-conscious being by herself in a large party without knowing anyone else because she can sense some of the men gazing at her. With confidence, she bolsters herself up and holds her head high. She casually looks towards the drinks area to find William and Richard still talking to the same two young ladies. They all seem to be enjoying their time together while she stands here by herself with other men gawking at her. Then Elizabeth hears some people talking around the corner from her.

  “Aunt, Juliet begged me to bring her over to greet Mr. Darcy.”

  “Ooohh, that is nice of you, Sarah. Thank you, dear. She was so excited and impatient to come to your wedding breakfast today.”

  “She said she has been keenly waiting for this opportunity.”

  “Yes, she has; she talks about him any time that anything relating to the Fitzwilliams comes up. Now that you are married to Mr. Darcy’s cousin then she may have more opportunities to see Mr. Darcy. You will help Juliet will you not, Sarah?”

  “I admit they look good together. She is pretty, and he is very handsome. However, you do know that Mr. Darcy is engaged to be married, do you not, Aunt?”

  “Yes, but Juliet is definitely prettier than that Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Our family is also wealthier; Juliet is more fitting of Mr. Darcy. I have heard that Miss Elizabeth Bennet’s family only has a small estate, and they are not of the first circle. Moreover, Juliet and Mr. Darcy know each other from years ago. That should solidify their connection and perhaps if Mr. Darcy knows how truly very interested Juliet is in him, then they can be together. He can break off his engagement with that Miss Elizabeth Bennet. It should not be too big of a problem. Her family is nothing to ours, and Mr. Darcy and Juliet have an old association already. She has been swooning over him for the past five years, so if she could secure him tonight, then that will be perfect. They did dance a few times last season. We were all hoping that it would lead into something more. I know that if they had more time with each other last season, then Mr. Darcy would have shown more attention towards Juliet. Unfortunately, we had to leave town immediately due to Juliet’s paternal grandfather being deathly ill. I thought we would be back in town in a matter of a couple of weeks so that she could see him again and their acquaintance could move forward. However, when we came back into town, he had just left town. Juliet was very upset. She said that she knows that he would have advanced their acquaintance further if we had not left town. You see, I feel so badly for Juliet. I hope you will do all you can to promote Juliet.”

  “Well, Mr. Darcy seems happy to talk with Juliet today. Did you also notice how pleased Colonel Fitzwilliam is to talk with Grace?”

  “Yes, yes I did; thanks to you, Sarah. It would be good for Grace if she could secure Colonel Fitzwilliam. Even though he is only a second son, he is still a second son to an earl. Being a part of a Peer’s family will carry much weight. Her family has money enough to entice him; she can secure him with no problems. The second sons are much easier to attain – just show them that your dowry is substantial.” The matron giggles.

  “Aunt, I do not think I can be involved in all of this. If Mr. Darcy breaks off his engagement, it will certainly affect my husband’s family to a certain degree. They will not be happy with me if they find out that I had anything to do with this whole situation.” Sarah says sensibly.

  “No one will know, Sarah. You are not forcing Mr. Darcy to do anything anyways. I know Juliet can entice him away from this Miss Elizabeth Bennet, so you will not have to do anything else except to promote her. They look much more fitting with each other than that Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

  Elizabeth cannot believe what she just overheard. William knows this young lady from years ago? How old is she? She looks rather young. Did they ever have an understanding of some sort? What kind of a connection is this matron talking about? She has to move away so that the ladies will not know that she has overheard their conversation. The ladies are definitely the bride and her Aunt who Elizabeth does not know.

  Just as Elizabeth steps up towards Lady Matlock, Mr. Edmund Ellington comes for his set with her, so she politely walks off to the dance floor with him. On the dance floor, she tries her best to be unaffected by all that she just overheard regarding William. Elizabeth smiles prettily and answers Mr. Edmund Ellington’s questions as he asks them. She looks around at the dance lineup and sees none other than William and Richard standing with the same two young ladies ready to dance this set too. She turns away instantly. She does not want to look directly at William; she feels insecure at this moment with jealousy, possessiveness, and anger surfacing simultaneously.

  Elizabeth feels anxious flutters inside her stomach, and her heart beats faster at the thought of what the bride’s aunt had said. Is it true that William was interested in Miss Juliet but their acquaintance was cut short due to a family illness? That means…he is with Elizabeth because…he had missed his chance with Miss Juliet because she had left town? He did not know the real reason Miss Juliet left town, thus he might have thought that his interest was unrequited. He really likes Miss Juliet but settled for Elizabeth without knowing all the facts regarding Miss Juliet? He was compelled to continue with Elizabeth…because he was a gentleman, and Elizabeth already became friends with Georgiana by that time. Their friendship made it harder for him to refuse Elizabeth…he felt…obligated. Oh, God! It is rather logical
; it is hurtful but logical.

  Elizabeth continues to ponder about this pragmatically. He did say that he loved Elizabeth…but that does not mean that he does not love someone else too – someone that came before Elizabeth – someone he regrets losing. But he has said that he loves her very much now; he would not lie, would he? If he loves her now, then that is all that matters, right? But should Elizabeth not let him know that he still has a chance to back out of their relationship and pursue the previous lady that he has wanted in the past but did not have a chance with? That is fair of Elizabeth, right? She surely does not want him to regret his decision after they have married. Yes, she will talk to William tomorrow morning.

  Miss Juliet seems very happy with her circumstances currently; it is evident that she is beaming with joy to be with William. He looks handsome as ever. Yes, Elizabeth has to admit also that they look fitting of each other. William looks happy. Elizabeth is… pleased for him...even if it is not with her. He is a good person; he deserves to be truly joyous with someone that he honestly loves. He should not be held to a mistaken decision with her.

  Thank goodness they did not have an engagement party, thus not many people know of their engagement….oh…but they have been to several parties together where everyone learned that they were betrothed and the banns have been read already. William really acted as if he was happy with their engagement, but that was before he saw Miss Juliet today. By this time, she has probably relayed to him of her reason for leaving town last season, and he has realized that he wanted to pursue her. Oh God…she has allowed him to kiss her mouth and touch parts of her body; even though she was clothed, it was intimate. Thank the Lord that it did not go further than touching. She thought that they loved each other devotedly and that they were definitely going to get married; that is why she allowed it to happen. What he must think of her!

  Well, there is nothing she can do to avoid the shame of a broken engagement. She will not force him to stay if he does not wish it. She could not live with herself to know that he wanted to be with someone else but was stuck with her, instead. She will release him peacefully. Goodness gracious, she will have to face her Mother…no…she will remain living with her Uncle’s family. She is certain that they will agree to it.

  Elizabeth is successful in avoiding looking at William during the entire set. She did not want to see his joy directed at someone else; truth be told, she could not handle seeing it. She thought that his happiness had been with her, but it was not, entirely. Oh, what a pity; she may end up losing three great friends anyways. At least, it will not be due to her family’s shame. There is that great relief, but he knows of her family’s propensities and troubles – what a shame. Well, there is nothing she can do about that, now. She hopes that William will never reveal their disgrace to his wife.

  At the end of their set, Elizabeth asks Mr. Edmund Ellington to guide her to Lady Matlock’s side because she has no one else to stand with to wait for the next set to begin. She does not want to stand by herself; it is embarrassing for a young lady to stand alone in a crowded room. She thought that William would be available to be with her but he was not. He is busy with his family and friends now. He is in his element here; he is with his ilk. There are no loud, uncouth, ill-mannered people or any tradesmen to deal with here. She is the person with no one. William has admirers all around him.

  Elizabeth sees William and Richard walk Miss Juliet and Miss Grace Winchester back to their parents. Miss Juliet’s Mother appears very proud and happy to see William escort Miss Juliet. She even starts a conversation with him and he stands there talking with them leisurely. Elizabeth is fascinated at the scene. Miss Juliet gazes at William with great contentment and satisfaction as he speaks to her mother.

  Elizabeth wishes that Jane or Aunt Madeline was here so that she can confer with either one of them. It would make her less anxious. Aunt Madeline always sees the sensible and logical side of things, and, with her experience, she can impart some needed wisdom. Jane usually speaks calmly and soothes Elizabeth so that she does not make any hasty decisions.

  Lady Matlock notices Elizabeth’s intent gaze across the ballroom; she follows it and sees Darcy in conversation with Mrs. Joanna Barrington. It is odd that Darcy would leave Elizabeth to stand here alone so that he can converse with other ladies. She gets the feeling that something is not quite right. She tries to diffuse any misinterpretations.

  “That is Mrs. Joanna Barrington; she is Sarah’s aunt. The young lady next to her is her daughter, Miss Juliet Barrington. I think Darcy knows the family through Andrew.” Lady Matlock states casually.

  Elizabeth coolly looks away from the scene and back at Lady Matlock as soon as she hears Lady Matlock’s comment. “Oh, Lady Matlock, I am sorry if I bothered you or your group.”

  “Not at all, Miss Elizabeth.” Lady Matlock can tell that Elizabeth is uncomfortable but is trying to be tolerant. Did she and Darcy have a quarrel? Is that why Darcy left her alone here? Would Darcy be so ungentlemanly? No. She really hopes that this is not the beginning of a large problem. Their wedding is next week. What is Darcy still doing over there? “Let me bring you over to Darcy and introduce them to you.”

  “Thank you, Lady Matlock but that is not necessary. I do not wish to bother Mr. Darcy.”

  Lady Matlock has figured out what is occurring here. She can see how much Miss Juliet is admiring Darcy; it is quite obvious to anyone paying attention, especially Elizabeth. Darcy is that naïve not to sense it? Mrs. Barrington is not hiding her pleasure with speaking with Darcy, either. She is delightedly promoting her daughter to Darcy. What a mess this could turn out to be.

  “Miss Elizabeth, sometimes, people have to know where they stand. It might all be a simple mistake that they do not know what position they are in, so they must be informed. You are to be Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy and that carries much clout. Anyone who does not know that or ignores that will not need to be acknowledged by you, but they do need to be put in their proper place.” Lady Matlock thinks that Elizabeth is astute enough to understand her implications.

  “That clout means nothing to me if I do not have Mr. Darcy’s complete love and devotion, Lady Matlock. I will not coerce him into any presumed obligation to me. I could not live with myself if I knew…pardon me, ma’am. I do not mean to bother you with such things on this happy day for you and your family. Please, do not feel that you have to remain here with me. I will go to the family sitting room with Miss Darcy and Mrs. Annesley. I thank you for your advice, as always. Once again, I fully appreciate your guidance.” Elizabeth declares sincerely. She is extremely glad that Lady Matlock is rather kind and caring towards her. However, that may not be the case if she finds out that her new daughter-in-law is trying to help out one of her own family member and Richard.

  “Miss Elizabeth, I want to remain here with you because I actually enjoy talking with you. I like ladies who are intelligent and genuine. You will learn that sometimes we all have to tolerate certain things. However, there is a limit for everything. You have to figure out how much that thing means to you.”

  “There is one thing that means the world to me, but I cannot hinder its true desire and obligate it to do anything it does not truly wish.”

  “I sincerely doubt that you are hindering or obligating anyone, Miss Elizabeth. Sometimes the past is simply the past; it no longer has any meaning. One cannot live in the past, can one? That would be very counterproductive, would you not agree?”

  “I agree, ma’am, but if one can repair a past mistake to make things better for the future, then I think everybody would like that chance, do you not think so, Lady Matlock?” Does Lady Matlock realize who and what Elizabeth is talking about? She is certain that Lady Matlock knows because she saw who Elizabeth was gazing at. Will Lady Matlock empathize with and comprehend Elizabeth’s jealousy and insecurity or will she also think as Mrs. Barrington does? Mrs. Barrington has correctly learned about Elizabeth’s family’s circumstances and considered them below her family.


  “Yes, if you say it that way. However, some past mistakes teach you things and make you better for the future. If no one makes mistakes, then how can there be any learning? That is not to say that you have to make mistakes before you learn. Only a perfect person will not ever make any mistakes. As we all know, there is no such perfect person. I think the past should stay in the past; you should learn from it and move on to make your life better.”

  “What you say is ideal, Lady Matlock; however, if you cannot let go of the past and your past collides with your present, then you should try to fix the past that you have wanted to fix so that you do not regret it in the future.” Elizabeth tries to explain sensibly and logically.

  “I doubt Darcy is in that position, Miss Elizabeth.” Lady Matlock states straightforwardly to emphasize her point. She does not think Darcy has ever had a serious relationship with anyone before Elizabeth. Does Elizabeth think that Darcy had a past with Miss Juliet? Goodness gracious! What is Darcy still doing over there with Miss Juliet and her Mother?

  “I have heard differently, Lady Matlock; however, I will not bore you with these talks anymore. Forgive me for taking up too much of your time. You have to host all your guests, ma’am.” Elizabeth says calmly. She needs to stay in control and not be downcast outwardly. She will not show signs of defeat. If William wants to separate because of Miss Juliet, then she will let him go. She cannot force him to love her, but she will not give anyone a reason to comment on her unsuitability.