by Denise Marie
“I’m just going to get some air while the guys go inside. Derek, need anything?”
He spoke about directions to someone on the phone and waved them by.
The brisk nighttime weather replaced the heat that consumed him inside the bus. He preferred the heat.
“Aww yeah. Smell that, boys?”
They paused, raised their chins, and inhaled deep after Brett’s cue. The smell of burning wood in the distance slowed their stride and brought back memories of nights back home for all of them.
He hurried in and out of the store, but halted, halfway back to her. Her casual beauty glowed in the moonlight, and the smell of the campfire made it easy to place her back home, around a fire with his dad and brothers.
She stood with her shoulder against the bus at the rest stop, gazing in the other direction, at the stars. The light of the moon highlighted her hair like an angel. He stepped up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. She inhaled and let her head fall back to his chest.
“Did you enjoy the show?”
She offered a silent nod, at ease in his arms.
He kissed the top of her head and flexed his muscles around her. To some extent due to the chill that’d touched his back, but also to cling to her and this perfect moment. “I haven’t pried since it’s none of my business, but I can’t help but wonder.” He exhaled. “Is there a need for the bucket list? You seem quite healthy for someone with one.”
She tensed, not able to avoid it or prepare. “Cole.”
Her hesitation was silent, but screamed loud enough to make his pulse race.
“Yes, the list is real. I have a brain tumor. I will be going into surgery when my list is complete. I might not come out of the OR the same as I went in.”
She struggled to face him with her chin raised. The contented haze in her eyes he’d imagined when her back was to him now revealed misery. “My chances for survival aren’t good given the size and location. The headache earlier was minor. It’s usually worse, and I can’t keep much food down. That is why the alcohol hit me so hard the other night. I hadn’t eaten much.”
She fixed her gaze on his chest when she spoke, but tears glistened in her eyes.
Fuck.
She fit so well in his arms; he wasn’t ready for that. It was possible, her being sick, but he refused to let her unspoken truth affect him. When she gave her attention to him, shared her sorrow, his world fell apart. He took a step forward and braced her back against the bus, his willingness to continue with their teasing game gone.
He cupped her face in his hands and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Her eyes didn’t give him any indication she wouldn’t be okay with his surrender to their attraction. He leaned in close, his lips only an inch from hers. If they did this, things would change.
From the desperation in her eyes, she battled that too, but didn’t resist when he closed the gap and kissed the side of her mouth. She still didn’t reject him, and he couldn’t hold out any longer. He crushed his lips to hers, not gentle or tender, just demanded. The last twenty-four hours of attraction to one another created a tidal wave he couldn’t stop.
When she smoothed her hands up his chest, he accepted the invitation and curved his body into her heat. Her lips parted with a moan. He took a chance she thirsted for more; he did. He slid his tongue inside her mouth and all but came in his pants, her taste an instant addiction.
She clutched his shirt with her fists to bring him closer, deepen the kiss in a way that would cause pain if they were stopped before they were both satisfied. The bell on the convenience store door rang in the distance, and he remembered where they were. He stepped back and placed his forehead to hers. It wasn’t long, but they were out of breath. He’d go for more, if he hadn’t gone too far already.
“Cole.” With her hands on his chest, she controlled the space between them. “We can’t do this. I will probably die on the operating table, and I won’t cause you heartache when I can prevent it. Besides, look at me.” Her voice lowered. “I am far from your type, and I don’t want pity. You don’t know me.”
****
“What’d he do?”
She barreled onto the bus, past Derek. She rushed to the bathroom, slammed the door, and fell to the toilet heaving. When the episode faded, she braced her way to the counter and stared at the tears she could no longer hold back.
The guys hadn’t come back on the bus, but there was no time, or sense, in repair. Not even the prettiest of women could make the aftereffects of what just happened attractive. She brushed her teeth but her hopes for a few extra minutes didn’t come true; she could hear them. Another quick glance in the mirror confirmed her suspicion; it was time for bed. They would notice her pale face.
With her head down, she left the bathroom and headed straight for her bunk. “Gonna call it a night guys, thanks.”
She donned the Scandals T-shirt Drew gave her; it smelled like cologne. What is it about the scent of a man that can weaken an adult woman into an overdramatic teenager again? She sent a quick text message to the girls saying she attended her first Scandals show today and enjoyed it, but failed to mention the kiss that left her weak in the knees. They’d demand details she wasn’t prepared to admit, so she shut her phone off, stuffed it under the pillow, and got out the journal.
****
He stood at the bar and glared down at her empty shot glass. Why did he ask? The large gulp of Jack Daniels in his mouth burned. He deserved it. “What happened?”
He held up his index finger, closed his eyes, and swallowed. “Nothing. Just reality sinking in.”
Drew shook his head. “She’s upset. It’s real, isn’t it?”
Nothing was private on tour. “Yep.” On his way to the back of the bus, he let his fingertips trace the edge of her bed. “Deal a game, would ya? Let me grab some beers. I’ll meet ya back there.”
They understood each other well, which also meant knowing when to back off.
Chapter Seven
Dear Diary,
My senses came alive, the vibration exquisite…
Charleston, West Virginia. Finally, a day off. With his forearm over his eyes, he sighed. He hadn’t told her yet, and come to think of it, she should be up by now trying to beat him to the shower. She liked to hog his hot water. He didn’t intend to let the secret out; he’d give her anything. He held his wrist up enough to squint at his watch. Eleven a.m. The guys would be asleep for a while, since the poker game dragged on forever last night, which also included the drinking. He focused on the ceiling, on her bunk.
She has a tumor, what the hell?
He scrubbed the fog away from his head and slammed his arms down on the bed. What next? He rolled out of his bunk—okay, he crawled and groaned through the pounding hangover. The bathroom and lounge were empty.
He stood at her bunk with the curtain in his fingertips, and his lip bitten so hard between his teeth it’d leave a mark. Point taken, they don’t know each other. He eased back the curtain, not wanting to startle her and the image knocked him back a step. She lay in the fetal position¸ hands on her head and tears streaming down her face.
Scaring her no longer a concern, he yanked the curtain the rest of the way and placed his hand over hers. “Hey, baby?”
She opened her eyes part way. They were rimmed with a pain he couldn’t bear to see. He scanned her frail body; a pale, clammy shell replaced her usual beauty. Although, to him she still stole the show.
“Hey,” she whispered and closed her eyes.
“You don’t look well. Can I take you to the doctor?” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard before he focused on her again.
“No, no doctor. In my bag.” She pointed, so weak she struggled to raise her arm. “Pain pills, Gravol.”
He rushed for the pills, threw the contents of her bag everywhere, and handed them to her with a bottle of water.
She braced herself upright, only high enough to take the pills. “It will pass, always does. I am going to just stay in be
d for the afternoon if it’s no trouble. I should be good to go this evening. Please don’t tell the guys.”
“Uh. Yeah. Sure.” He uncoiled from his concerned posture, trying to convince her tough men with ink like him, could handle anything. As he fixed her pillow, he imagined laying there with her, and his body was all the support she needed. But they weren’t there yet.
He kept his voice calm, experienced after many hangovers, present one included and kissed her forehead. “No problem, babe. We have the day off, and I’m sure the guys would like to do something a little more casual today. We’ll leave you alone, but I will come back to check on you later, okay? You have my number, call if you need anything.”
“I’ll be okay.”
She wiped the tears from her face, and rolled over. He hated to leave her, but what choice did he have? She wasn’t his.
****
She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and sat up slow. No pain, no nausea, still alive but mortified. A smile relaxed her while she piled up the clothes Cole upended from her bag but faded when the pill bottles tapped together. She picked them up and stared at the labels. No refills. She wouldn’t need them. The guys would be back soon and she didn’t want the train wreck that was sure to be her current condition to cloud their fun. She threw the bottles back in her bag. Able to handle more noise, she switched on her iPod and stumbled when the music blared, Scandals.
That little…ugh.
Impressed to be catching onto the lyrics, she tried her best to sing along with him while she enjoyed the hot water.
Without wariness, she opened the door and strolled toward her bunk to get dressed. Whatever they’ve planned for tonight better involve fun. The gasps from behind gave her an instant chill, and no mirror was necessary to confirm that the color had drained from her skin. No headache to blame this time.
Eyes closed tight, she twirled around. The whistles of appreciation made it easier to open her eyes again. Drew, Zander, Brett, and Cole stood there gawking like teenage boys who’d stumbled across their first porn flick.
“I am sure you boys have seen a lot more than what’s revealed around this towel. Girls throw themselves at you all the time, prettier girls I’m sure.” She spun away, refastened the already snug towel but didn’t budge any further. One by one, they passed her to go to the back of the bus, although they lacked discretion.
Brett kissed her on the cheek. “You’re hot, Izzy.”
Zander smacked her on the ass and she jumped. “I’d do ya.”
“You’re giving me a hard-on, Isabelle.”
Drew’s words shocked her the most. Her skin tingled everywhere when he leaned in and kissed her neck. What surprised her most—she tilted her head toward him.
She froze and attempted to act as if the last few seconds never happened. Drew’s kiss lingered on her skin, so without delay, she rubbed it off. Only she was pretty sure she more like caressed it. Cole still lingered behind, and her heart beat so hard her body vibrated with it.
He didn’t say anything, just strode past her, and closed the door to the back room, causing the others to laugh and holler obscenities. She closed her legs a little tighter when he spun back to her with heat in his gaze. He stalked her with an expression she couldn’t read. She raised her hands to grip the towel above her breasts.
“Hands down.”
Her throat tightened at the command. Before she could process his intention, her lips parted, just enough to let out the breath she’d held. She lowered her arms, now covered with goose bumps, and complied with his dominance.
“How are you feeling?” He strolled toward her.
“I’m fine Cole, one-hundred-percent better,” she squeaked. “A-about Drew.”
He put his hands on her waist and guided her back. She twitched when her warm skin touched a cold surface of the slim amount of wall separating the rows of bunks. Before she could explain his mouth covered hers, possessed her with strength she couldn’t fight. She didn’t want to.
He lightened the kiss a little and teased her with his tongue. Her breath caught when he slanted his lower body into her. He was hard. What started strong morphed into a deep exploration. His tongue touched every part of her mouth, and she played the game just as well.
He tasted like a mint after a long swallow of beer. When she nipped his lip, he growled and repositioned his hand. He slid it into the slit of towel that hung open. His fingertips dug into her bare skin, and he roamed from her lips, down to her jaw, her neck, that sensitive spot just below the ear. He massaged his hand to the base of her bare butt and squeezed, molded their bodies together to support her weakened knees.
Her body tingled. She fancied the idea of wrapping her leg around him and grinding against his shaft for release.
“Did you like it when Drew kissed you here?” His lips touched where Drew’s were not long ago.
“Cole,” she panted. “A-about that.” Her body trembled when his right hand drifted from her ass to her front, and brushed the tender skin inside her thigh. He still didn’t touch her where she needed to be touched, dammit.
“I want to get to know you, every inch.”
She shivered as he traced lines on her neck with his tongue. The ability to form words became so difficult. “I need to explain.”
She pictured his cocky smile.
“No you don’t. He gave me the finger behind your back, forced me to make a decision. It’s what we do.”
“You have to back off a little, and let me focus.” She leaned back, just enough to see his wicked grin. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, still down as he’d directed, but also distracted from slapping him. “Since I can’t seem to say no to you, yes, I want everything you have to offer. We need to keep clear heads though, that’s my only rule. No attachments. I can’t stand the idea of another person left behind to mourn.”
Setting the boundaries in place interrupted the eagerness to bond that brewed in his eyes. Instead, he withdrew his hand from under the towel and hugged her tight, resting his chin on her head. “I told the guys the list is real, no details. I want to do this for you, we all do. We were in an arena full of bikini-clad women sprawled out on hot rods today, yet the topic of conversation always reverted back to you. I didn’t sleep well last night ’cause maybe I’d asked too much of them, but Drew is a jackass sometimes and forces me to follow my dreams. Right now, that’s you.”
She leaned her forehead into his chest. How could she be mad at that? They offered so much, and they didn’t even know her.
“I understand why you told them. It’s okay. We’re okay.”
He put distance between them and straightened her towel with a satisfied grin. Cold air hit her, created a need for his warm hands to touch her again. Brand her.
“Good. Now get dressed, casual. We start tonight.” He whistled while he strolled to the back of the bus with his hands in his pockets. “And grab some food out of the fridge. Something tells me you’re going to need to tolerate liquid courage tonight.”
A beep signaled a voicemail on her phone.
When did the damn thing ring?
She rubbed her face, to clear some of the fog Cole created, and dug for her phone. Without checking who the message was from, since privacy only lasted minutes on the bus, she played it.
“Hello Isabelle, this is Dr. Peterson. I’m just inquiring about how you are feeling, and if you’re ready to book your surgery? I don’t want to nag, but it really should be done soon. Please call me.”
Before he could finish repeating his private phone number, she hit the end button and stuffed the phone back under her pillow.
****
“Where are we going? This is so not fair. I don’t like surprises, guys.”
They laughed. Many experiments took place on the bus before they were confident she couldn’t see through her blindfold. She sat still, calmed her breathing, and listened for clues; certain Cole sat to her left, a close left. The dead giveaway, his leg bounced hard enough to cause h
er body to vibrate. It was cute, though not something she would say out loud—okay, well maybe just not in front of his friends.
She tapped her fingers on the seat. He controlled her, and although she didn’t know how to respond without the possibility of embarrassment, she liked it. Each time she managed to calm her breathing, he massaged her hand with his and excited her once again. Without sight, she could interpret the contact to be more erotic than he might’ve intended. Maybe that was his plan?
She didn’t need to see his face to note his resistance to flipping her palm over and lacing their fingers. If he conceded to his desire, she’d like it as much as him.
Instinct told her Drew sat to her right. She fought a grin that would only result in uncomfortable questions she didn’t want to answer. Being teased, blindfolded between two gorgeous men—totally something she should have added to the list.
Her eyes drifted shut behind the cloth when Cole leaned into her side and tucked her hair back to whisper in her ear. The slight touch of his hand on her neck gave her goose bumps.
“Is there a problem? Your skin is a little flushed. Feeling okay?” The way he said it was not out of concern for her illness. He enjoyed this.
“Payback’s a bitch, Cole.”
The brush up against her other shoulder and similar smell to the Scandals T-shirt she wore to bed last night let her know Drew itched to get involved. “Is there a problem you need my help with?”
She couldn’t take it anymore. The proximity of testosterone unraveled parts of her not touched in a really long time. “Ugh. Are we there, yet?”
Even Derek joined in on the laugh at her expense. “We’re here sunshine, enjoy. Low key tonight, boys. Everything’s been arranged, so call me when you’re ready.”
She held Cole’s hand and stepped out of the car, into the cool night air. It offered relief from the heat that coated her skin in the car, but only the visible areas. Others still demanded attention. She waited for direction. Someone jerked the knot at the back of her head and the blindfold floated to the ground, revealing a flashing sign.