Grinning, I answered, “I’m slumming, man. Just wait until I’m settin’ up next to you in front the camera.”
“What’s got you glowing? I mean besides my boy.” He placed his hand on my stomach.
Spencer chimed in the convo. “A few days ago you were giving him up to a strange couple. Yesterday, you were the terminator. Now you’re ruining your mother’s relationship. And this guy has no idea.” Spencer shook his head at me. “Dude, when are you going to give it up?” he asked, placing a glass of water in front of me and West-Léon’s cocktail next to him. “The next dagger is in you.” He nodded at West-Léon.
Spence reminded me. I texted Paul and Karen Ramsey, I’ve decided to keep my baby.
No need to thank them for what they hadn’t done. Just didn’t want them hitting me up for what they weren’t going to get.
Paul replied, Please reconsider. My wife started decorating our baby’s room.
Ignoring my brother and crazy Paul, I told West-Léon, “Sibling quarrel. So tell me all about yourself starting back far as you can recall.”
Wow. He was adopted. He had two brothers who were also adopted.
Maybe Paul and his wife weren’t crazy after all for asking for my child. They’d have to find someone else’s kid to spoil.
I texted, Bing, Hi Big Poppa! We’re good. How are you?
I’m well, baby girl. Thanks for asking. Ask your mom to call me.
Responding, Sure! I refused. Prayed he was not taking her lying, cheating butt back. I hadn’t forgotten my mom had stepped sideways when she was with my brother.
James texted, How are you doing?
Hit him with, Your son and I are in capable hands. You’re relieved of all obligations.
“You wanna get outta here and go to my place?” West-Léon asked.
“Get out of my head,” I said.
After I gave Spencer a wink, we left without tipping. That was how real celebs did it!
CHAPTER 31
Benjamin
Fighting back my tears, it killed me to abandon my beautiful supermom wife at one of my favorite restaurants days ago. The ambiance, jazz, food was the best Atlanta offered. I was starved when I walked in. By the time I’d left, I’d lost my appetite, for my wife. If I had stayed, Mercedes would never understand I had a heart too.
“You okay?” Arizona asked, massaging my feet.
“No, baby. I’m not okay.” There was no need to lie to her.
I was on the sofa, my mistress was on the floor, “Love Ballad” by L.T.D. started on my playlist. What I wouldn’t give to rekindle that feeling of when I first fell in love with my wife. Something as simple as holding hands made me feel needed. I was still my wife’s, my family’s, protector.
“I’m so damn confused,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. “My world would be perfect if my wife was you and you were her. Baby, you do all, and I mean all, the things I’d give a kidney for Mercedes to do.”
Shit didn’t make no damn sense! None! My father couldn’t have been one-hundred-percent faithful his entire marriage. He shouldn’t have taught me how to have it all.
The tone of Arizona’s voice reflected her disappointment. “You agreed to stop comparing me to her.”
Covering my face with my palms, I wiped away my frustration. She asked the question, now she didn’t want to hear my truth. “You’re right. I apologize.”
I let the tears flow. I could never cry in front of Mercedes. She’d deem my quandary a weakness.
Arizona pressed deep into the arch of my foot, then she squeezed my big toe hard changing my melancholy mood to . . . “Damn, woman!” The nerve she touched must’ve been connected to my dick. Instantly, my shit stood at attention.
We laughed together when she did it again.
Freeing my erection from my pajama pants, I stroked myself wondering what the walls of my wife’s new vagina felt like. I knew it was super tight. But was it dry or juicy? Plump on the inside?
Arizona’s hand slid up my leg. I blocked her from making contact with my dick. It was cool for her to perform fellatio. That was my limit. Long as I wore my wedding band, my dick had not and would not risk taking any disease home to my wife.
“I’ve got him, baby. Keep massaging my foot. That feels amazing.”
“Our second-year anniversary is coming up,” she said proudly. “You promised me if we were still together, you’d divorce your wife and marry me. It’s time for you to make good on your promise. Or I have to move on.”
Damn, women hung on to every word? I forgot all about that. Did I say marry?
“When is it again?” I asked.
“Eight weeks exactly. In Georgia there are ways to make your divorce final in thirty days but you have to file soon.”
Damn. I exhaled. The way she brought it up I thought it was coming up in a few days. “I’ll honor that promise,’ I said, figuring by then I’d know for sure if I was done tolerating Mercedes’s shenanigans or going back home to my wife and kids.
“You know what I’m looking forward to the most?” Arizona gave me a sexy, devious smile that only meant one thing.
Holding it in my hand, of course I knew. She wanted what a lot of ATL females desired, to ride my big black beautiful irresistible dick.
“What? Tell me,” I said smiling, wanting to hear her say it.
Kneeling between my thighs, Arizona opened her mouth wide. Flicked her tongue on the tip of my head. She kissed. Licked. Licked. Sucked. Taking all of me into her mouth, she forced my head down her throat, then gagged.
I loved the, uhs, slurps, and seeing her saliva coat my shit.
What I wouldn’t give to have my wife ease my dick past her pretty lips. Mercedes wouldn’t let me put the head in and truthfully, I loved her so much, watching my wife suck me a little could make me explode a full load.
“We should do something special,” I said, trying to take my mind off giving Arizona what she really wanted tonight.
The way she squirmed on the rug, I could tell she was hot and ready. Crossing her vaginal threshold tonight would fast-forward my promise to a permanent commitment.
Right this minute, I needed my mistress to . . . “Don’t stop. Suck harder.” Forcing down the nape of her neck each time she raised up, I asked, “You ready for dessert, baby?”
That was what she’d call my cum. I loved how she swallowed. Arizona’s mouth stopped moving.
“Not now, baby. Keep going. I’m almost there.”
She took my dick out of her mouth.
“Ah! Fuck! Shit!” I was pissed. “What the hell?!”
My parents reared me to respect women at all times, making me refrain from calling Arizona a bitch. “Please. Keep going,” I begged, stroking my shaft. I had to bust this.
Straddling me on the sofa, she put my head at the opening of her pussy. “It’s time, Benjamin.”
The second I felt the warmth of her vagina I covered my head with my hand. When was the last time he was inside of a woman? I wanted to tell her to get up. My dick wasn’t sure.
Arizona moved slowly, grinding both sets of her labia on my knuckles. Her shit was super wet. Fuck! I had mixed emotions. We were not supposed to have intercourse unless I was positive I was not going back to my wife and kids.
Placing my hand on Arizona’s thigh, I teased her clit, trying to make her climax. She moaned. I had to have a way out. I’d resisted two years, not to cheat on my wife.
Arizona moved my hand, stared me in my eyes, then mouthed, Benjamin, it’s time.
In the heat of the moment, I could make the worst decision ever if she became pregnant.
CHAPTER 32
Mercedes
“Kids, I said let’s go! You’re going to be late for school!”
This single-mom life twenty-four hours a day while my husband, their father, laid up with his mistress was coming to an end. Empathy was what I was supposed to have from him.
I released the band from my hair, scratched my scalp, then tugged fistfuls of
my natural curls. Benjamin should be pulling on this thick mane of mine. But I’d taught him not to touch my hair. Staring in the living room mirror, I picked up my purse.
“Now, Brandon! Now, Brandy!”
“Coming, Mom,” Brandy said.
Brandon beat her down the stairs. His backpack hung on one shoulder. Brandy held hers by the strap. Brandon hugged my hips, his ear pressed against my stomach. I placed my hand on his head.
“I love you, Mommy,” he said. “Don’t be mad at us.”
“Boy, stop kissing up. Let’s go.” Brandy walked out the door.
“Mommy is . . .” I paused. “I didn’t mean to yell at you guys.”
Brandy came inside, pried her brother away. “Momma’s boy. You better not make me late.”
I knew she missed her dad. I did too. It wasn’t my daughter’s job to parent her brother. She was taking her frustrations out on Brandon. Since I didn’t have Benjamin to chastise, it was increasingly clear that my children had become my unintended target.
Dropping the kids off five minutes early, I didn’t have the luxury not to pay for before and after care when I didn’t feel like it. I was en route to a breakfast meeting with a client when my cell rang.
Answering the Bluetooth in my car, “What?” I became angry.
“Mercedes, I don’t want to argue. I just called to apologize for walking out of the restaurant the other day and to say that I love you. I really want my family too, but my fear is that you’ll keep hurting me,” my husband said, then ended the call.
That was a coward move to dump his emotions on me and not give me the opportunity to respond. He was not the victim! The knife wasn’t in my back deep enough? He wanted to hurt me for hurting him. My cell rang again. Immediately pressing the button on my steering wheel, I sent the call to voice mail, then realized it was my sister.
I returned her call. “Hey, Devereaux.”
“You okay, Sis?”
Sniffling had replaced my two-finger snaps. I exhaled, then lied, “Yeah,” knowing she could tell that I wasn’t.
“You know, Bing’s advice is the absolute best.” She sounded genuinely excited. “I am so happy with taking my time dating Antonio. You remember him. He’s the director I met at Haven @1411 when we were there.” Everything she said seemed like one long run-on sentence. “I should thank you.”
Should? Hmm.
“If it weren’t for your meeting me that day, we would’ve never met. You’ll be glad to hear that Antonio is the complete opposite of Phoenix. When I’m done filming this season, he’s already booked an Alaskan cruise for, listen to this, Nya, his daughter, and me. A family vacation! Can you believe that?”
“Huh? What?” Hip. Hip. Hooray!
I didn’t care if Antonio was taking Devereaux around the world. I was the first and only one married. All I wanted was my family back.
“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said. Have you?” she asked.
I allowed my silence to speak for me.
“Where are you?” she asked.
“Heading into Another Broken Egg in Buckhead to meet a client.” I parked in the lot. “This is a huge opportunity.”
I’d canceled several meetings, one with her. Benjamin could work his IT technical job on his computer wherever he was at. Consulting required me to show up in person to make others comfortable about cutting me a check.
“When will you be done?” Devereaux said, a tad too cheery for me.
A text message registered. I wasn’t sure if I should’ve been happy or disgusted. My client notified me, Sorry for the last-minute cancellation, I have an emergency. Will reschedule next week.
“Can you believe she can’t make it? I’m going to go home and get back in bed. I’m tired.”
That was the truth. I was exhausted from crying, trying. I was not a pessimist but my gut instinct told me it was too late to save my marriage. The enthusiasm for my vagina was buried in the bile of my stomach. I had to start preparing myself to transition.
“I need a break or I’m going to go insane. I have to consider giving Benjamin full custody. I’m not cut out to be a single mom like you guys.” Mercedes Crystal was not cut from the seventy-percent-thread statistical cloth of African-American moms who didn’t have a ring on their finger.
Chirpy, Devereaux said, “I just got a text from Bing. He flying in and wants us to meet at his house for dinner tonight. Without Mother.”
The same message registered on my cell with his address. “I can’t make it. I don’t have a sitter,” I said, not feeling like asking anyone new to keep my kids for a few hours. I needed days, weeks, by myself.
I had a nanny. I’d fired her. Actually, she’d quit. Same difference.
“I really like him. This could be that break. He did say he’d hire you. What if he’s found our father? Even if he has, I’m still going to call him Papa Bing! You’ve got to come.” Excitement grew in my sister’s voice. “Sandara and Alexis just texted me. They got the same message. This is wonderful! I’ll pick you up.”
And do what with my children? It wouldn’t matter. I wasn’t going and that was final. Why did Alexis, aka baby girl, have to be there? She already found her deadbeat.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, ending the call.
In transit to my house, I called my private investigator.
“Hey, Mercedes. You were on my list of people to call today. I have an unbelievable update to show you on Benjamin. He—”
Interrupting her, I said, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Oh, but it does,” she countered.
“I no longer need your services. Thanks for everything. Send me a final bill,” I demanded.
Ending the call, I detoured to Arizona’s. My husband’s car was parked behind hers. I blocked them in, left the engine running, knocked three times.
Benjamin opened the door wearing pajama pants, no shirt. His body glistened with oil.
“Mercedes—” he said, standing in the doorway.
I cut him off. “I need you to get your kids from school today. And keep them forever.”
I wasn’t trying to go in or see inside. Arizona must’ve been gone or else she’d be glued to my husband’s ass.
“You love our kids as much as I do. I know you don’t mean that. I’ll pick them up for you and drop them off right after, but don’t come here again,” my husband said as though I were at his place of residence.
My heart wanted to say, Come home, honey. Let’s work things out. I miss you. I need you. I love you. All of those things were true.
But I couldn’t.
In this very moment, I hated him!
CHAPTER 33
Blake
I’d experienced, more times than I could count, a man hanging up on me, then my calling him back repeatedly to have a conversation with his voice mail. Showing up unannounced at my guy’s residence, only to have the door slammed in my face. That was if he’d opened it. Thought I could drop by his place the way he’d randomly visit me. I was tired of choosing the wrong man.
Sitting in the back of a limo with Max in my lap, we were off to a fantastic day of shopping somewhere. I was destined to buy my son more outfits than he could wear in a month.
I answered his call. “Hi, Spencer,” with zero enthusiasm.
Being that I was fifty, a man who told me not to contact him wouldn’t have to say it twice.
“Hey, Fabulous, I heard about what happened with your engagement. You good?”
No need to question where he’d gotten the information. Nor did I care. “I am Fabulous. And you?” That was the best nickname any man had given me.
“I want to see you today. Listen, I admit I did the fool but I want things to go back to the way they were between us the first two weeks when we chilled.” He could stop there.
Hadn’t taken him long to stray. Seemed as though he still didn’t know which bitch he wanted to piss on. I vividly recalled discovering Charlotte was somewhere underneath his sack the entire time and he still
managed to make time to juggle Alexis and me between his balls.
“Took losing you for me to realize that you’re the only woman for me,” he said, sounding sincere. His plea was cuter than the name he’d given me.
Considering all I’d dealt with, I’d be not a fool but the biggest jackass if I’d give him an undeserved opportunity to make me squirt again. I was depressed and could use a friend but he didn’t qualify. A shoulder to lay my head on, an ear to hear my sorrow, would be nice but I had no one since I hadn’t communicated with my closest girlfriend in over a half year. Spencer was strong. Problem was our chemistry was too intense. I was certain, if we shared time alone, he’d expect at some point my clothes would fall off. Sex was what men desired, not love.
I wasn’t interested in him. His dick. Conversation. Nothing. Period.
“Our flame has burned out,” I told him. “Take care of yourself, Spencer.”
He ended our conversation without saying good-bye. I wasn’t surprised. Ex-men didn’t want to see me doing well with the next man even if they didn’t want me. Simply selfish. Spencer needed reassurance that he had access to my vagina whenever he wanted. Took time for me to figure out what men desired wasn’t about me.
Thought my first and only fiancé was different. I was not returning his call no matter what Ruby said.
Maybe Bing and Alexis had done me a favor. I needed to get to know myself. Once I got over being angry with everybody, I realized my girls weren’t horrible women.
“You can let us out here,” I said.
The gentleman transporting us wasn’t Uber or a taxi. I stood on the curb with Max cradled in my arm as my limo driver stacked Max’s roller bag on the curb.
“I’ll take it from here. Thanks.”
Strolling to ticketing, I approached the agent. “What’s the next flight I can get on?”
“Excuse me? Do you have a confirmation number?” she asked.
I shook my head. God, why me? I hugged my baby tight. He wiggled. My tears fell on his head. I handed the agent my credit card and driver’s license.
“I wish I knew where I was going. I’ll know in a, give me a minute.”
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