“Man, fuck you. You don’t own this courtroom. I’m free to sit wherever I’d like. If she’s feeling some type of way, make her fake ass move,” Black said.
The bailiff placed his hand on his cuffs. “Let’s go.”
Black stared at Delvin. “I got you, bruh. They might put me out but I’ll be right outside waiting for what’s mine.”
“Don’t make me do my job,” the bailiff said, standing at the end of the bench.
When Blackstone versus Crystal was announced, Delvin motioned for me to sit on the defendant side next to him. I stood, checked over my shoulder. Black wasn’t back.
The bailiff approached the judge and whispered something I couldn’t hear.
“Blackstone versus Crystal is dismissed,” the judge said, handing a folder to a clerk.
“Thank you, Your Honor,” Delvin said, then told me, “Let’s go.”
Exiting the courtroom, Delvin asked, “You have time to grab a cup of coffee?”
Concerned about where Black was and what he might do to me, I replied, “I’d love to but I have to get my kids. I have three young babies. Two, three, and four,” I mentioned in case he didn’t have all the facts.
Delvin smiled. “Well, here’s my card. I’d love to take you to dinner and if you accept, I’ll take care of the cost for your sitter.”
Usually, guys came over and chilled. Didn’t care if my kids were asleep or awake long as they could hit it or get head before they left like they’d come, empty-handed.
Placing his card in my purse, I walked away crying.
No man had offered to do such a generous thing for me.
CHAPTER 40
Alexis
When I opened my eyes, my mother was the first and only person I saw. I scanned the room, lifted the cover.
“Who put me in this?” I questioned.
“Take it easy, baby,” my mom said. “You’re lucky to be alive. You have Spencer to thank. He found you unconscious.”
Where was he? Did he know about the money? Was he at my daddy’s house moving me out? “My head hurts,” I said, touching a bandage. “Please tell me they didn’t shave my hair off.”
“You still have your hair,” Mom said.
Felt as though someone had stolen my personality and my energy. I touched my stomach. “I’m still pregnant?”
Silence divided us.
“Mother?”
“Relax. I’ll be right back,” she said.
What was I thinking, God? I never wanted to see that ignoramus football player again. Asshole.
A doctor entered, before my mother, then asked me, “Which one should we save?”
“What kind of stupid question is that?” I lamented. He couldn’t be serious. A baby can’t care for . . . I froze. “Oh, hell no! Tell me I’m not having him now. I’m not ready. He’s not ready. He’s still growing. He’s just six months.”
“Do you recall what caused you to fall down the stairs?”
Mother’s mouth hung open. I waited, expecting her to answer.
Talking to the doctor, I demanded, “I need pain medication.”
Sandara, Mercedes, and Devereaux entered along with a nurse as the doctor repeated, “If we can only save one of you?”
Sandara was beautiful. The most conservative I’d seen her dressed, in off-white. Mercedes had on . . . I frowned. A blue alluring halter. Her hair was spastic in a sexy way. Devereaux was in a black pantsuit.
“If we can only save one—”
“I heard you the first time. That’s not a chicken or fish meal choice. Mother, what’s happening?”
“Everything is going to be all right, Alexis. Doctor, we can’t lose either of them,” my mother said, standing by my bedside.
Sandara cried, “It was an accident. Don’t let them die. It’s all—”
Slap! Mercedes’s hand landed on Sandara’s cheek, then she rubbed off the fake mole. “I apologize, Sis. Thought it was a bug.”
“Is there more we should know?” the nurse inquired. “This is a life-or-death situation.”
“Yes, there is,” Mercedes said, approaching the short woman in light blue scrubs. “You should know how to do your job. We are family. And—”
Calmly, my mom interrupted. “Yes, it was an accident,” then told me, “I warned you about wearing those high heels, didn’t I?” firmly squeezing my hand.
Mother could let go. Sandara almost pulling me off the couch had nothing to do with why I was here.
I had my mother and everyone else convinced this was my second pregnancy but my mother’s lie was bigger. When I told my brother I had a miscarriage, I knew he’d tell my mom. Wasn’t sure why mother had kept that secret when she publicized all my other business. We all knew Devereaux had falsified information to the police about Phoenix in order to protect Mercedes.
Lies were a necessary part of life.
It was my turn to be my sister’s keeper and if this was how it would end for Alexis Crystal, I’d let them bury me with all the secrets I knew.
The doctor looked at me. “I’ll be right back.”
After he left, I stared at Sandara. Her face was red, eyes bloodshot. With each sniff she wiped her tears, mucus, then dried her hand on her skirt. I didn’t know how that child made it on anybody’s runway with that nasal drip.
She mouthed, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, then cried.
I nodded, then winked at her. I questioned the nurse, “How much longer before you guys decide if I can go home? My head and back aren’t hurting as much.”
I watched her chest rise, then fall. Her eyes shifted to everyone in the room, then back to me. “You have a few minutes to think about what I asked. Seriously.”
“My doctor’s question is relevant. You’re not,” I said.
She had a job to do. I had a decision to make.
As I swallowed the heartbeat thumping in my throat, my eyes swelled with tears. I might really die. I had to ask, “Wait. If I ask that you save me, will you abort the baby?”
Devereaux, Mercedes, Sandara, my mother, and the nurse were quiet. Wasn’t as though I hadn’t contemplated that alternative.
The nurse stated, “If that’s what you want, I’ll prepare the paperwork.”
I nodded.
Devereaux blurted, “I have the perfect part for you, Alexis, after you have the baby. You’re my leading lady. You can have your nanny on set. You’re going to be a great mother.” She forced a smile, then started crying.
What was I supposed to do? If I didn’t stay with my decision, I could be the one with a toe tag.
Mercedes commented to the nurse, “Tell the doctor to do his absolute best and save them both. There is no other option here. Got that?”
Just as I mouthed back to Sandara, I forgive you, James raced into the room. Chanel was one step behind him.
He stood beside my mother, who’d not relinquished her position of being closest to me on the right. James frantically asked, “Baby, are you all right?”
Chanel echoed, “Baby, are you all right?”
I tried to say, Fuck both of you. Truth was I was scared and no words came out. I’d never been afraid of anything. Dying at twenty-six hadn’t entered my mind.
Spencer busted through the door, raced to the side of my bed opposite James and Mother. He created space closest to me, nudging Sandara over a few steps. “Sis, you okay?”
Nine people were in my birthing room, including the nurse who hadn’t asked anyone to leave. Surely, there wouldn’t be an audience if this might be my finale.
I was glad everyone was asking about me, but it saddened me that no one asked about my unborn son. Looking at James, Chanel, and Spencer, I realized they hadn’t heard my decision. And they wouldn’t.
The guilt of my requesting to take my son’s life made me cry. One tear chasing another couldn’t wash away my confusion. Why was God making me choose?
“Before we take you into the operating room, we need you to sign these papers,” the nurse said, handing me
an electronic pad.
The only person who promised to be here for me wasn’t. Bing was really excited about being a grandfather. I knew if my son survived, he wouldn’t want for anything. I took the pad, placed it on my lap.
James would take great care of him. “What’s that?” he asked.
No one answered him.
Mercedes told the nurse, “She’s not signing that. I don’t understand how a simple fall can create a life-threatening situation. I demand details before you start cutting.”
“Have you ever fallen on hardwood?” Spencer asked.
Memories of the random men I’d slept with, the vigorous workouts, the things I’d done after my missed abortion appointment, chased one another. All to rid myself of being like my mother only to discover I wasn’t as strong as her.
My mother said, “You’re a fighter. You and my grandson will get through this.”
Out of all her children, I was the one who gave her the hardest time. I blamed her for . . . “If you can only save one of us,” I cried uncontrollably, looking at James, then said, “save our son.”
The nurse tapped the screen, handed the pad back to me. This time I signed off on everything.
James’s coming had nothing to do with my decision. I knew either way—God or his earthly father—our son would be in great hands. Spencer was my brother no matter what and I’d take his secret to my grave.
I looked at my brother. “If I don’t make it, chick, everything I own is for you and my son,” then said to everyone, “Name my son Domino Blake Wilcox.” Domino was Spencer’s last name. There was no need to hyphenate by adding Crystal or Rogers. Didn’t want my grandfather’s name associated with my son or me. If I survived, the first thing I was doing was tracing my roots to Africa and changing my last name to something African.
The doctor entered the room, then ordered, “Prepare Ms. Crystal for a C-section.”
“It’s time,” the nurse said. “All of you can go to the waiting room.”
“Doctor,” my mother said. “Please give her a tummy tuck after the delivery. She’s a little vain.”
“No! Mama, don’t go! I need you, Mother! I, need, my, Mother!” I screamed, clinging to her forearm.
“I’m not going anywhere. Neither are you. Alexis, you are the strongest person I know. No matter how long it takes, Mama will be right here for you and my grandbaby.”
“I love you, Mama!” I yelled as she gently pulled away.
A voice stood out above mine. “Baby girl. Everything is going to be okay, baby girl. I promise,” Bing shouted as they rolled me down the hall.
I cried for my mama all the way to the operating room. The anesthesiologist leaned me forward, told me not to move, then gave me a shot in my lower spine to numbed me A tent was placed at my waist. I couldn’t see or feel what the doctor was doing. An oxygen mask covered my nose and mouth, the same as they’d done my father when he was in the hospital.
Everything around me was cold. I looked at the nurse.
She asked, “What’s your favorite color?”
Softly, I said, “Purple.”
“Mine too,” she said. “Where’s the last place you vacationed?”
I had to think about that. James and I used to travel two to three weekends every month. “Miami.”
“Sweetie, you’re doing fine. We’re taking your son to ICU. How are you feeling?”
He was here. That was quick. Now, I could relax and let go.
“Sweetie, I need you to answer me. How are you doing?”
I heard her. In my mind, I answered each time but she kept repeating the same question. “She’s losing consciousness!”
“No, I’m not! I can hear you!” I yelled, then repeated, “I can hear you!”
The light became the brightest I’d seen. I pretended I was on stage performing a one-woman show.
“Get her to emergency immediately. I think she’s having an amniotic embolism,” the nurse said.
I, Alexis Crystal, would forever be everyone’s shining star.
CHAPTER 41
Devereaux
Alexis’s unexpected situation made me visit Phoenix’s mother, Etta.
The BMW I’d bought my ex wasn’t in the driveway. Nervous that I hadn’t called first, I told Nya, “Stand behind Mommy.” Before I pressed the bell, Etta opened the door.
“Grandma!” Nya danced in front of me, then stretched her arms. Her eyes beamed. Her smile was wide. “I miss you, Grandma.”
“I miss you too, my little angel. Come on in,” Etta said. “I was just about to bake chocolate cupcakes to take to Bible study tonight. I sure could use a helping hand.”
Nya wiggled her little fingers in the air as she skipped to the kitchen. “Me, Grandma! I’m your helper. Follow me and raise your hands, Mommy. You can help too.”
“How about I watch?” I sat on a counter-height stool, told Etta, “It would be good for her to visit you more often.”
Nya climbed on a stool, then leaned her elbows on the granite like she was accustomed to doing at Sandara’s and at home when she was with me.
Time with my daughter was more frequent since I’d started dating Antonio. We were becoming a blended family. Etta used to keep Nya during the week. Not wanting Phoenix to have access to our daughter, I’d cut Etta off.
I expected Etta to scold Nya, but instead she placed two twelve-cup muffin pans on the island, then held a stack of paper cups. “What colors should we use this time?”
“All white,” Nya said.
“Hmm,” Etta said. “Don’t you think the pink cups would be jealous, Teacake?”
Nya smiled.
Teacake? Cute. I hadn’t heard that word since my grandmother passed. Not many people made the old-fashioned pastries. Nowadays the closest I’d come was a scone.
“You’re right, Grandma. I’ll use some blue ones, too,” Nya agreed. “Let me count them.”
“Have you seen him lately?” I asked, avoiding saying Phoenix’s name.
Etta told Nya, “Go wash your hands, Teacake.”
“Thanks.” I shouldn’t have asked about him in front of Nya, but I hoped he was okay.
Nya hopped off the stool. “Okay, Grandma.”
Etta waited until Nya was out of the room, then told me, “Honey, I owe you an apology. If I had raised him, he would’ve turned out like my other two. His sister is married. No kids yet but she has a wonderful husband. She’s a makeup artist. My other son owns a restaurant down in Fort Lauderdale. Took me a good while to get over him having a husband but his partner is a nice, successful man. I keep my two good ones away from”—she deepened her voice—“the bad seed.”
“What’s a bad seed, Grandma?” Nya asked, reentering the kitchen.
Etta lifted Nya onto the stool. Carefully filling the first cup with chocolate batter, Nya touched the spoon then licked her finger.
“You know what you have to do,” Etta said.
“I know. Wash my hands again.” She left the kitchen without protest.
“Devereaux, I love Nya so much she could live with me but I can’t give Phoenix a reason to show up at my house whenever he feels like it. He’s not welcome here. You’re an amazing mother. You are exactly the type of wife I’d want my son to have. I can’t tell you how he’s doing.”
“I—”
Etta interrupted, “I wasn’t finished. He’s not good enough for you. Phoenix will destroy everything you’ve worked for, then he’ll blame it all on you. You shouldn’t have bailed him out of jail. His picture is all over the news. Got folks at church questioning me. Don’t ever take him back. Ever. Now, I’m done.”
I spoke fast trying to get what I had to say out before the extra set of ears returned. “I was going to say, I don’t want to take you for granted. My sister was fine yesterday. Today, she’s under the doctor’s supervision. I’d feel horrible if anything happened to you or us and we let something bad come between what is wonderful. You don’t have to answer now, just think about sharing time with Ny
a the way you used to.”
“Here I am,” Nya sang, skipping into the kitchen. She held her hands in front of Etta waiting for her grandmother’s approval.
“Great job, Teacake,” Etta praised.
Seeing Etta teach Nya how to bake, I’d thought my daughter was too young. I was more interested in having Nya learn ballet and gymnastics than teaching her how to be a homemaker.
Nya mixed frosting colors. She covered some with solid frosting, others she topped off with as many sprinkles that stuck. Decorating the last cupcake, she said, “Time to do yours, Grandma.”
“Well, we’d love to stay and help your grandma but we have to get going. I have to get back to the studio.”
Nya shook her head. “Mama, I don’t want to sit still and be quiet. What about Grandma’s cupcakes? I have to help her.”
I looked at Etta.
She nodded. “I’ll bring Teacake to you after Bible study. If that’s okay?”
“Please, Mommy,” Nya pleaded. “My friends be at Bible study.”
“Thank you,” I said, offering Etta a hug.
Embracing her, I wondered why she’d given Phoenix to her mother. Maybe her father had done to her what our grandfather had done to my mom. Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter.
Women had to constantly make tough decisions that men would never understand.
* * *
Etta dropped off Nya to us at Big Pie in the Sky Pizzeria.
“Mommy. Sarah!” Nya yelled, running toward our table.
My daughter bumped into Sarah. Antonio caught them before they fell to the floor.
“Not so rough, Nya,” I said.
The girls laughed. Nya said, “This is my grandma,” then squealed with joy.
“They’re okay, sweetheart. They’re just playing.” Antonio stood beside me.
Etta smiled, handed Nya a cupcake. “I have to go, Teacake. Be good.”
“I made this one for you,” Nya said, giving it to Sarah. “It has the most sprinkles.”
Nya was a naturally happy little girl. She loved being with Mercedes’s and Sandara’s kids, too. Anyplace except the studio was fun for Nya. I prayed one day I’d say the same for my nephew, Domino. He weighed fourteen ounces at birth. The doctor said that was good considering Alexis delivered three months early.
The One I've Waited For Page 21