Moonrazer looked at the door. A stylized image of a Borromean thistle was carved into the wood and painted with vivid green leaves and a purple flower.
The thistle, the symbol of the Sarl, had three phases in its life. These were mirrored by the women.
In the first phase, the plant became tall, hard, and covered with long, sharp spines like miniature swords.
In the second, the plant developed large, soft, round flowers of bright lavender, red, or blue. During this time, the beautiful blooms attracted the few pollinating insects that could survive the cold, harsh Carrick summer. Heady perfume wafted into the air, calling other animals that used the plant as shelter, protecting the blossoms from those that eat the tender green leaves.
The thistles with the loveliest flowers and sweetest scents would produce the healthiest, hardiest, and most abundant seeds, and pass those traits on, strengthening the species.
In the final phase, after the flowers had given up their seeds, their leaves wrinkled, and they stood like sentinels over the sleeping buds developing under the snow.
The stalks bent and hardened nearly into stone-like walls and roofs, and the faded, torn, and withered flowers gave off pungent odors that drove away animals searching for food in the deadly Carrick winter.
Like the thistle, a Sarl woman had three phases in her life.
When she was young, she stood tall and strong, able to fight and best even larger men of other species.
In the middle phase, her body changed, allowing her to attract those same strong men who could produce the healthiest, hardiest baby girls, who would protect the Sarl when their time came.
At the end of her life, as she watched her own daughters fight, she became a fierce protector of the young while their mothers were gone, keeping more cunning predators, who used weapons subtler than knives and swords, away from young children still growing.
Moonrazer had heard, as a young warrior in training, that the middle and end phases of life, when the battles were behind her, could be just as fulfilling as the first. She shouldn't fear becoming less able to fight and letting others defend their people while she stayed home, tending the hearth.
Just the thought of these lessons caused her to shudder.
Olaf saw this. "Aren't you tired of the battles? Tired of being the strength of all of us?"
Moonrazer sighed. "To be truthful, while I am getting restless with this peace, I would be happy if I never have to take another person's life."
Olaf nodded. "I agree with you there."
The two of them sat in silence as Moonrazer allowed the heat of the water to relax her muscles until she almost fell asleep.
"Have you thought about starting a family?" Olaf's voice roused her.
She sat up so fast that water splashed into her nose. She sputtered a bit before responding.
"What are you talking about?"
"Husband, children, settling down…"
"I know what a family is, Olaf. Why did you bring it up?"
"It is the next step, you know," he said, "in the life cycle of a Sarl woman."
Moonrazer scowled again. She often found herself doing that when Olaf chose to act as her conscience.
"For a man not born to any people, you certainly have made it your business to learn as much as possible about mine."
He bowed his head as though she'd paid him a compliment. "I have chosen your people as my own. It is only natural that I learn as much as possible."
Moonrazer decided to ignore him. Maybe if she closed her eyes, he would leave her alone.
"You didn't answer my question," he said.
She opened one eye and looked at him. "What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me if you've ever thought about having your own family."
The Exalted Warrior lifted her head. "I suppose I did at one time. When I was young."
"But no longer?"
Moonrazer really didn't want to talk about all this. Talking about feelings and relationships was more the province of their friend Adazzra, a Tree Woman.
"I am the Exalted Warrior," she said, when it became apparent by his expression that Olaf was not going to let her get away without responding. "I am the leader of my people. I have spent most of my adult life striving to be as strong and capable as I can be. Janico, the Holy One, helped me find the Sword of Justice so I could reunite the Sarl into one people. We reclaimed our home world and our heritage. There are few men in the Known Worlds who have done as much and are still in their fighting prime. How can I find a man who can stand with me as a partner?"
Olaf smiled. "And you don't believe that the Holy One who helped you accomplish all of that can find someone who is everything you desire?"
The Exalted Warrior got out of the water, rubbing herself with the leaves of a Meadowash plant, from World Isker, a world similar to Carrick but not as cold.
"Is there a man somewhere in the Known Worlds who will want to be with me because of who I am, not because of my position as Exalted Warrior? My experience in this area has not been great."
Olaf asked, "Won't the Choosing Rituals help you find such a man?"
"I do not know all the specifics of the Choosing Rituals," Moonrazer said. "No Sarl has performed them in generations. However, since they consist of many tests of skill and bravery, I fear all that will do is discover a great competitor." She sighed. "I want a man to come because it is me he wants, not the Sword of Justice or its power."
"And you don't believe such a man exists?"
"I have yet to meet such a man."
****
Moonrazer blinked the sweat out of her eyes. Coolstoke, her partner for today's Sparring, wasn’t struggling as she bounced on the balls of her feet, waiting for Moonrazer to step forward again.
The confidence and slight grin on her opponent's face irritated the Exalted Warrior. Reminding herself that this was just training, and Coolstoke bore her no malice, Moonrazer shook her head to clear it and stepped back into the ring.
"If you are tired, Warrior," Coolstoke said, grinning, "we can take a rest or perhaps you would rather stop for the day."
"I think we should keep going. You look like you could use the practice."
Normally, Moonrazer enjoyed the playful banter as much as the sword work, but today she found herself struggling more than usual and had to work harder to keep her feet. While she fought to keep Coolstoke's practice blade from finding its target, she told herself that this struggle had more to do with the fact that she didn't sleep well the night before, and nothing to do with her age.
"An enemy is not going to allow you a rest period," she'd often told new warriors in their first training sessions. "So, resting during a Sparring can be considered a forfeit." It was a rule Moonrazer had instituted for her warriors. Fortunately, Coolstoke chose not to remind her of this.
Moonrazer gathered all her strength and advanced, forcing her opponent back a step.
Just then, and as she set herself to push Coolstoke to the edge of the ring, the flap of the training tent opened. Even though it was behind her, she heard the soft rustle and got a whiff of a flower scent that could only mean Adazzra had arrived.
Adazzra had come into the tent dozens of times, but never before had Moonrazer let her guard down to look at her friend while Sparring.
Moonrazer's warrior reflexes and skill had been almost legendary among the younger members of her army and many of them looked up to her with almost the same reverence they had for Janico, the Holy One, and his mother, the Blessed Lorelii.
However, this day, Moonrazer turned.
As she did, Coolstoke brought her sword down in a stroke that, in battle, could have been fatal, but in a training session the swords were not dangerous.
Moonrazer had only a glimpse of Adazzra before she saw the movement of Coolstoke's weapon out of the corner of her eye. She spun around and parried the blow, knocking Coolstoke off balance.
Coolstoke stumbled and fell to her knees just outside the Sparr
ing Circle.
Sarl warriors who had been observing the contest stomped their feet to show their approval of Moonrazer's victory, and several hurried to Coolstoke to help her to her feet.
"You won." Adazzra hurried to Moonrazer's side.
Moonrazer watched Coolstoke stand and brush off her pants. The Exalted Warrior caught her breath.
"Something is wrong."
Coolstoke reached her and bowed. "A good fight, Warrior. I thank you."
"You did not fight to the best of your ability, I believe," Moonrazer said, drawing all the spectators' attention to the two of them.
"I did, Warrior." Coolstoke's eyes narrowed. The Exalted Warrior's accusation was a serious one.
Moonrazer shook her head. "I was not in top form, and you should have beaten me. I want to know why you did not."
"Moony, perhaps she was tired." Adazzra touched her friend's arm.
"Adazzra, this is something you must stay out of," Moonrazer said, not taking her eyes from Coolstoke. "This is a Sarl matter."
"Warrior, with respect, I believe you are accusing me of cowardice and I do not think this is your intention." Coolstoke tightened her grip on the hilt of her sword. While she still held the practice weapon, her feelings were clear.
"I am accusing you of not fighting to the best of your ability because you feared to defeat the Exalted Warrior."
Coolstoke's expression grew cold, just as Moonrazer knew it would in a true battle. That was what she wanted to see. She wanted her warriors to train with the same determination they would fight with if they were faced with an enemy who planned to kill them.
"Any other would be facing the point of my blade now," the younger woman said.
Moonrazer tilted her head in deference. "Do not let my rank stop you from defending your courage."
She called to another warrior standing nearby. "Reset the Sparring Circle. Let us try this battle again, this time without holding back."
"As you say, Warrior." Coolstoke bowed once to her then turned and walked to the corner of the practice field, where a handful of warriors stood.
Adazzra asked, "What are you doing?"
Adazzra was very light-skinned. Golden blonde hair hung loose around her shoulders. She had the mint-colored eyes that marked her as a tree woman.
"She let me win that match." Moonrazer took a gulp of water from a tankard sitting on a small table. "I cannot have my warriors holding back when they spar with me or any other Sarl. Every training session must be as close to a true battle as possible."
"You're the Exalted Warrior," Adazzra said. "You don't have to prove anything."
"I do, if only to myself," Moonrazer muttered as she strode back to the circle where Coolstoke waited.
Soon it became clear that Coolstoke meant to prove her skill and while Moonrazer had little difficulty parrying the blows, she found no opportunity to move from defense to offense. Her mind was fully focused on keeping her feet and staying in the Circle as the younger woman's swings grew fiercer, although still controlled.
Soon Moonrazer began to grow tired and her arms ached from the force with which Coolstoke's sword met her own. Desperately, she looked for an opening to turn the battle around, but the other woman seemed to possess unlimited stamina.
Coolstoke brought her sword down in a wide arc, but Moonrazer stepped out of the way at the last second. The younger woman became unbalanced and stumbled forward a step. The Exalted Warrior knocked the weapon out of her hand.
Coolstoke lunged toward her fallen sword, but Moonrazer brought the point of her training sword down, catching her opponent's sleeve and pinning her to the ground.
"You are defeated," Moonrazer said, her breath coming in deep gasps.
"I am defeated," Coolstoke agreed, and the Exalted Warrior removed the sword with her right hand while reaching down with her left to help the younger woman up.
"It was a good battle," Moonrazer said. "You are a fine warrior, and I apologize for my earlier remarks."
Coolstoke tipped her head, picked up her sword, and left the Circle to join her companions.
Adazzra stood next to the table and poured Moonrazer another tankard of water.
As the Warrior drank, the Tree Woman said, "Now do you feel better? You've beaten her twice."
Moonrazer set the mug on the table. "I do not feel better. That battle was much harder than it should have been."
"Maybe your warriors are well trained."
"No." Moonrazer looked back over to the Circle. "I should have defeated her sooner. Perhaps my skills are weakening."
"Come, let's go back to the Tower." Adazzra's voice betrayed nothing, but Moonrazer had the feeling her friend realized that she needed to tend her aching muscles and didn't want to appear weak before her warriors.
Chapter Three
Moonrazer opened her eyes and realized someone was knocking on her door.
"Come."
Adazzra walked in. "I expected you to join me in the library for tea after you put your weapons away. When you didn't come, I thought maybe you were injured more than you thought."
"My hip is bothering me," the Exalted Warrior said, turning to get out of the bed, “but it is nothing."
As she walked over to the basin of water near the window, Moonrazer couldn't ignore the pain shooting through her leg.
"You're limping."
Moonrazer washed her face. Why did her friend have to be a healer? "I told you it is nothing."
"It doesn't look like nothing. You're having trouble walking. Shall I get you some herbs to help?"
The Exalted Warrior turned around. "I merely strained a muscle while fighting Coolstoke. I will be fine." She pulled a chair over to the bed and sat. "We have been at peace too long, I fear. I have gotten slow and heavy-footed. When the Sarl were nomads, and we had to be constantly on alert for our enemies, our reactions were swifter and our instincts sharper. We did not limp from hip pain."
"You defeated Coolstoke. Why are you worried about this?"
"I was slower. I had to struggle to keep up with her."
"You've had to work hard with other opponents in the past."
"Not another Sarl warrior," Moonrazer said.
"Moonrazer, you were distracted at the Circle. I've never seen you turn when I approach during a training exercise." Adazzra raised her eyebrows. "My presence has never pulled your attention away from your opponent."
"My reactions are off."
Adazzra said quietly, "Sarl women do stop being warriors at some point, if they live that long."
Moonrazer stood and began pacing the bedchamber. "The anniversary of my birth is approaching and I do not want to face it."
"The Holy One has a plan for you."
Moonrazer looked at her. "I am not the mother type."
The idea of raising a family and having to care for children full-time frightened her more than charging headlong into battle. Little ones were fragile, easily injured and endlessly curious. They needed attention, sweet words, and hugs.
The thought of being responsible for a child was overwhelming.
"Would it be so bad for you to start thinking about choosing a mate?"
"I suppose it is time." Moonrazer didn't meet her eyes.
"I heard a rumor from Oakgold that you've been receiving gifts from a Sarl man named Everard."
Moonrazer rolled her eyes. "Oakgold talks more than she should about things she has no business even knowing."
"So who is this man?"
"No one. A man I met one afternoon when I was tired of dealing with territorial disputes and petty theft. I went out hunting and met him in the middle of the Forest of the Ice Bear, near a hut he'd built himself. He was sitting by a fire, roasting a deer he'd killed. He offered me some." She shrugged. "I suppose he thinks he is wooing me."
Adazzra grinned. "Perhaps he is."
"I do not want to have this conversation. I am not interested in any man, much less a Sarl man. They are not warriors. I would never want a man with who
m I would have to be so gentle all the time."
"You've met several warriors in our travels. Surely, one of them caught your eye. I know that courier guard we worked with in Euphur found you attractive."
"He was handsome enough," Moonrazer admitted, "but he was more interested in talking about himself and his… weapons than he was in anything else."
Sword and Illusion Page 3