by Simmons, Pat
Hershel had invited Brandon’s entire class plus some, which included Lindsay. He smirked, finding out later that Solae tagged along only to act as the kiddie birthday party crasher if Candace overstayed her time as a parent simply dropping off her daughter. Solae had told him Candace had a reputation of staying at the parties as an uninvited chaperone. He smiled as the memories flooded back.
“Excuse me, you can’t park here,” Hershel walked up to the driver of a silver Mazda who was blocking a “no parking” zone near the entrance.
Solae had whipped her head around and faced him ready to shoot darts. “I’m waiting for a friend—”
Without getting out the car, it was as if Solae had drained his energy with one look. Their mutual attraction had been both immediate and fierce such that they both bungled their apologies.
“I’m sorry. I’m the host and I shouldn’t be rude to guests.”
“Let’s blame it on the stress of putting together a party,” Solae gave him an excuse. “And I apologize. I should have parked legally, but my friend is just dropping off her daughter and then we’re leaving.”
Hershel didn’t let that happen, so for the next fifteen minutes he learned all he could about her. Solae’s down-to-earth personality had been so alluring that he forgot that he was supposed to be supervising the children. Thank God his cousins had taken charge.
Solae had forgotten about leaving when Candace had returned with Royce trailing her. Since his brother was enthralled with Candace, Royce thought Hershel was doing him a favor by convincing Solae to stay so he could have more time with Candace. The truth was Hershel didn’t want Solae to go.
Before the night ended, Hershel saw first-hand how much she loved children and the children loved her.
“Thanks for keeping me company today,” Hershel said when the party ended.
“It was fun. I’m glad I stayed. Children are a blessing, even with their running noses, temper tantrums, and nonstop energy…they’re a blessing.”
That statement right there should have been his clue that Solae was the one who would love him and his boys unconditionally.
“It’s party time,” Royce yelled, snapping him back from memory lane.
When the first wave of children arrived to begin the party, Trent and Royce gave him the thumbs up. His sisters-in-law showed their support in other ways. Candace gave him the evil eye and made it known that he better fix it; Julia sweetly threatened him with no visitation rights to her house for weekly meals until he made it right. Talk about pressure.
With every sound of tires crunching the gravel on the side road, Hershel hoped it was Solae’s car until finally, she had arrived. He exhaled.
Hershel’s swagger down the pathway was carefree while his heart swayed like an unsteady boat set adrift. He smirked, watching Solae look for a parking spot versus the illegal spot she had chosen before. Memories.
Leave it to a woman to make a man have a heart attack, Hershel thought as he opened her car door. Despite the hot and humid St. Louis July weather, Solae stepped out the car radiant in a sleeveless top that showcased her toned arms. Instead of a short skirt to tease his senses, a tie-dyed skirt flowed from her waist to her ankles. Her toenails were perfectly painted in a strange shade of green. Her favorite color.
“Hi.” He closed the distance between them until the fresh scent of her perfume tickled his nose. “You look pretty.” He couldn’t help but give her his bold assessment.
“Thank you, and you’re as handsome as ever,” Solae made the statement then reached in the back seat for a box that was bigger than a plastic crate from a discount store.
“I’ll take that.”
After passing it to him, Solae grabbed two smaller gifts in the backseat.
Hershel chuckled to lighten the mood. “Lindsay’s gift couldn’t fit into one box?”
“These are for my boys,” she said in a tone that said he should have known.
And he should have. Solae was big on bringing his sons things. He loved hearing her say “my boys.” They were usually small gifts. “To show Harrison and Brandon that I’ve been thinking about them,” was always her excuse.
Hershel was in no rush to get to the party. As they strolled up the cobblestone pathway to the house, Hershel observed Solae, wondering what she was thinking. Her slight shiver confirmed that they were still in tune with each other.
“Solae, I was hoping we could talk sooner than—”
“Hi, Aunt Sollie! You made it. Yay!” Lindsay spotted them. That alerted his boys who joined Lindsay in a race to see who could get to Solae first. It was amusing to see her so loved and annoying because he wasn’t in the mood to share.
Stopping in her tracks, Solae squatted and waited to receive their hugs. She smothered them with kisses while they were still huddled together. Hershel felt as if he had faded into the landscaping as they all tried to talk to her at once.
She didn’t seem to mind their ball of energy. “Happy birthday, Lindsay. I hope you like it.” She pointed to the box he was holding.
“I’ll put it on the table for you.”
“Okay, Uncle Hershel.” Lindsay ran back to the party, leaving his sons with Solae.
He smiled with pride at the title since his only other niece’s vocabulary was still developing. It often sounded as if Ariel was calling him Uncle Hermit.
Solae handed a box to Brandon and Harrison. “Listen, boys, you can’t open this now because it’s Lindsay’s party and only she can open gifts. You can when you get home. Okay?”
“Okay!” Brandon grinned, gave her another hug, and ran off, but Harrison didn’t budge.
Uh-oh, there was no telling what his youngest son would say since Harrison was struggling to adjust to her absence. “Miss Sollie, are you and my Daddy getting a d-voice?”
Hershel cleared his throat and stepped closer. “Ah, son—”
Solae waved him back. “No, sweetie…unhappy married people get divorces. Your daddy and I aren’t married, so we can’t get a divorce. Understand?”
Where Brandon stuttered when he was nervous; Harrison picked his nose and that was the direction his finger was going until Solae grabbed his hand. Whew. Gross.
“But daddy’s unhappy and me too,” Harrison whined.
“Well, give me a hug.” Solae opened her arms again. “I’ll try to make you happy while I’m here, okay?”
Harrison bobbed his head, latched onto her hand, forcing her to stand, then he pulled her toward the party. You’ve got to be kidding me. Hershel huffed. He had to compete with his baby boy for Solae’s affection? Any other time, Hershel would have been comforted that his sons loved and trusted Solae. Not now. Harrison was on his time clock. He and Solae had to talk and he needed privacy to do it.
Trailing behind the two, Hershel watched Solae slip through his fingers as others vied for her attention. She seamlessly dismissed him without a backwards glance. When she wasn’t Brandon’s partner in a game, she was sharing a piece of birthday cake with Harrison. Solae was perfect—she was always perfect for his family. Noting their interactions, Hershel felt his legitimate hesitations seemed so trivial now. He had been a fool.
When Solae begged off more activities, pleading the need for a respite, Hershel was about to make his move, when Candace intercepted him. “Am I being sabotaged?” he mumbled as he retreated. The two women were whispering and giggling as if they hadn’t seen each other in years instead of every day at work, practically sitting side by side.
With all his patience depleted, Hershel sent a text.Can we talk now?
He watched as Solae pulled her smartphone from her purse and read it. Glancing over her shoulder, she searched the guests until their eyes connected. He nodded. Solae smiled and turned back and texted him.Sure, I have a few minutes.
I’m going to need more than a few minutes to make up for months of blunder, he thought. Pushing off a wall, Hershel headed her way. His walk was confident, but his heart was unsure how he could make it right between them.
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Chapter 11
“Captain Hershel Kavanaugh?” Candace teased Solae from her spot in the lawn chair beside her.
“Yeah. I guess we need to get this over with.” She had held him at bay long enough.
Candace grinned, but Solae didn’t return it. She knew her friend was hoping that the talk would result in a speedy reconciliation and Solae not leaving. That wasn’t going to happen.
“Ladies,” Hershel said as his voice oozed with sexiness, seconds after his cologne preceded him. With his smoldering eyes fixed on her, Hershel gently tugged her to her feet as if he was about to ask for a dance.
Never breaking eye contact with him, Solae didn’t protest as he led her away to a secluded area not far from the festivities. She even allowed him to link his fingers through hers. His touch was like warmth flowing through her veins, traveling slowly to her heart as if to revive her. Hershel waited for her to sit on a stone bench that overlooked a great view of a small pond on the property. Nature was definitely one of God’s beauties.
It was a picture perfect setting to cuddle up in Hershel’s arms and enjoy the tranquility of bliss. But that fantasy was several months old. Solae was surprised that her heart wasn’t numb after months of separation. At this point, it didn’t matter. She had made the decision to move on.
“I love you more than anything.” He stared ahead as if he was talking to the wind.
When Solae turned to look at him, so did he. The depth of his eyes seemed to be the gateway to his soul. Even though she knew Hershel’s declaration was heartfelt, she had to point out that he failed to back it up.
“Not everything.” She hoped to get through this without crying, especially since he looked confused. Solae had shed enough tears. “Hershel, I love you and I love my boys. I’ll always consider you my first love.” She paused, crossing her hands over her heart as her eyes watered anyway.
“Love makes a person vulnerable, including me. At Christmas when I asked you where do you see us six months from now, your one word answer, ‘together’ frustrated me. At that moment, I knew I had backed myself into a corner where I tied my happiness to you and my boys.”
The first tear spilled and Hershel caught it with his thumb. She choked as she tried to steady her voice. She had to get through this and tell him the truth.
“I might not have been able to give you children, but I could have loved you and the children as my own so that no one would have ever known I didn’t birth Harrison and Brandon.”
She patted her chest. “At least I thought I would make a great mom.” She blinked as her vision became impaired.
“No question. Babe, please forgive me for taking your love for granted while I was trying to sort out things in my heart and head.”
The tortured expressions on Hershel’s face made Solae want to forgive and forget, but she had to have some dignity. Forgiving him was easy. His hesitation was another rejection. Nobody forgets those.
“Don’t move, please.” He didn’t hide the desperation in his voice.
“Why?”
“So we can work out our differences.”
“We’ve had months for that but you kept dragging your feet. I’m sorry, Hershel. Maybe, you were kidding yourself when you said my inability to have children didn’t matter. In the end…”
She sniffed. “It has always mattered from the beginning of Biblical time. I don’t want to be in a relationship by default because you feel sorry for me. I respect myself too much to settle.” She stood.
Hershel got to his feet with his nostrils flaring. “Lady, if I could have another chance, I would ask you to marry me because you are perfect for me.”
“It’s not the same when you back a man into a corner and he never planned to ask you to be his wife in the first place.” She checked her watch. “Listen, I better go and check on a friend before I head home.”
“A friend?” She could almost see his mind working. “Is he or she sick?”
“In a way, yes, she’s getting a divorce.” She twirled around and began her trek back to her car. She thought she had done a good job without making a scene.
“Solae,” Hershel called after her.
When she glanced over her shoulder, he was getting down on one knee. No! She couldn’t watch. Fighting an emotional breakdown, Solae hurried to her car. It was too late. He was asking for all the wrong reasons.
Chapter 12
How could she walk—no run—away from his love? No—their love? Hershel was hot! Getting to his feet, Hershel contemplated his next move.
He could easily catch up with her, but he had a feeling that she would continue to resist. A slap on his right shoulder, followed by one on left shoulder didn’t stop him from watching Solae flee.
Trent came to his side. “You tried.” Hershel didn’t acknowledge him.
“But did you pray?” Royce asked, coming to stand on his other side.
“Evidently not enough praying.” Hershel huffed, then folded his arms in disgust. “Deep down inside I knew from the moment I saw Solae and spent time with her that no other woman could be a better fit in my life than her.”
“I thought it was romantic,” Candace said, coming to her husband’s side.
Humiliated, Hershel didn’t even want to face the audience he had drawn at his failed attempt to propose. Granted he hadn’t planned on asking her to marry him at a kid’s party, but desperation kicked in when he realized a mere apology wasn’t going to cut it.
Spinning on his heel, Hershel was thankful that he wasn’t all the guests’ main attraction, just his brothers’ and Candace’s. The look she gave him was a mixture of heartache and attitude.
“How much time do I have before she leaves?”
“Five weeks,” Candace said with a veiled threat.
Hershel recognized her challenge, that he better fix it, even if it meant working plans A to Z. “I’m on it.” He stormed away, glad that his sons hadn’t witnessed his debacle.
***
Hershel was slumped in his chair in the empty break room at the station. Holding his head between his hands, he was racking his brain for a way to get Solae to change her mind and stay. “How did I get myself in this mess? How could Solae be so stubborn?”
Royce invited himself to invade Hershel’s privacy as he pulled out a chair and flopped in a seat across the table in front of him. “Your stubbornness caught up with you. I wish you were at service last Sunday.” He shook his head.
“You know I was here.”
“Yeah, Pastor Alexander preached from Philippians 3. Candace and I thought about you when he read verse thirteen.”
“Which says…” Hershel prompted his brother. Lately, the Scriptures hadn’t been sticking.
“‘Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.’ You never let go of your past and it held you back from your blessing. She made you happy, bro. Candace said Solae was crushed by the games you played with her heart. Didn’t she tell you that men had rejected her before?”
Grunting, Hershel slapped his palms on the table. “Why do you know so much about my business?”
“Maybe because you’re my brother and you talk a lot?” Royce shrugged. “Seriously though… Solae was devastated when you never proposed and weren’t up front with her. If I have ever seen a perfect couple, you and Solae are it.”
“Why are you rubbing salt into my wound? I know I messed up. Unless you have a solution, then this conversation is over.” He practically growled at his brother as an ear-piercing tone splintered the speakers, alerting the station to get ready to respond.
Switching to his rank mode as captain, Hershel and his crew of four stepped into their fire suits, strapped on their apparatus, and were out the door in less than two minutes. “Lord, please protect life and property in Jesus’ name,” he prayed as he climbed in the front seat. Felix had already switched the radio to the frequency that ga
ve the details and location of the situation. Less than a minute later, Engine House 8 was on their way.
As he counted down the minutes ‘til they reached the scene, Hershel added a postscript to his prayer. “Lord, something has to give. I want Solae back. Please teach me how to love her the way she needs and wants to be loved.”
Chapter 13
A few weeks later
Solae didn’t want to rush the night. She was enjoying her last girls’ night out with Candace and Julia. Although she invited Desiree, her friend declined, citing being around happily married women would only make her more depressed.
It had been months and Desiree was no closer to making a decision about her marriage. “It’s unfair that the fate weighs heavily on me—the injured party— whether our marriage is worth saving! Michael made that decision without consulting me!”
Desiree had fumed after a meeting with Michael. It took a while before her friend calmed down.
“I can’t believe you’re really going to do this,” Candace said as they roamed the stores on the upper level of the Galleria Mall.
“God has made the way with the company paying for me to go back to school and allowing me to telecommute. It’s time for a change of scenery—it’s going to be an adventure,” Solae explained, reminding herself why she decided to do this.
She had to stay upbeat even though it was a bittersweet moment. The mall was not the place to get sentimental.
“Even though I think getting away from Hershel was part of your determination, he really is a good guy. I guess no one knows how deep the scar is from a loved ones’ betrayal,” Julia was the first to introduce her brother-in-law’s name that night.
“You’re right, Julia. I guess you can say our relationship did turn out to be a blessing after all. Maybe not in the way I would have wanted, but I’m excited to see what blessings God has for me in Chicago. This will be a new chapter in my life.” Solae crisscrossed the mall from shoe boutiques to women’s clothing stores.