by Melissa Haag
As soon as we reached Adira’s office, she went behind her desk, and I took a seat.
“I saw you completed all your assessments. I must say, I’m impressed. It usually takes more time for students in your situation to gain the focus needed to see what needs to be done.”
“What’s my situation?”
“Alone in a strange, new world.”
“Ah. Yeah, well, I have no car to go anywhere and was bored.” I shrugged.
“Regardless, you did very well. You’ve mastered the requirements to graduate from human high school. That means we can focus specifically on your Girderon requirements.”
“Which are?”
“To master your control of yourself around humans.”
“Perfect. Considering where I lived before coming here, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“As you pointed out to Oanen in the parking lot, you have little self-control.”
“Wait a minute. I pointed out I had a problem with common sense because of my temper. I never said anything about self-control.”
We both knew it was a weak objection to the truth. When my temper flared, I didn’t have control or common sense.
“Fine. What do I need to do? And if your answer contains the words ‘visualize,’ ‘find your center,’ or ‘breathing technique’ forget it. Been there. Done that. It doesn’t work.”
“The humans were trying to help you with something they couldn’t begin to understand.”
“I don’t know, some of them gave my anger their best efforts.”
“It’s not just anger. It’s part of your abilities.”
“Hold up. My anger has something to do with what I am?” My mind raced, trying to think of any mythological creature known for anger issues or general grumpiness. Trolls, giants, brownies, dark elves…there were more grumpy ones than not. I’d need to do some research and compile a list.
“Stop trying to guess who you might be. It will distract you from who you are,” Adira said, interrupting my thoughts.
“You’re talking in circles.”
She smiled serenely. Instead of calming me, it had the opposite effect.
“And, you’re annoying me,” I said flatly.
“I know. But, I’m not making you angry. Do you see the difference?”
“Not really. I still kinda want to wipe that smile off your face.”
The natural abrasiveness I channeled when annoyed didn’t faze her.
“Pay attention to your emotions. Break them down and ask yourself why you’re feeling the way you do in any particular situation. By analyzing each feeling, you can start ruling your emotions instead of letting them rule you. Gaining that level of control, before your true form emerges, will—”
“True form? You mean this isn’t what I really look like?”
I could feel panic welling up inside me. Everything else they’d thrown at me, I’d taken with a grain of salt. But this? Hearing that I would physically look different melted a sane portion of my brain.
“Breathe, Megan. I showed you my true form on your first day here. Yet, here I sit in the form you find the most familiar. The fact that you will have another form doesn’t mean you must use it.”
I stood and gripped the back of my chair.
“I don’t want to be late for class.”
Adira sighed. “Very well. Run away, Megan. It doesn’t change a thing. I will see you at the Fall Festival.”
“I’ll pass. I don’t do well in crowds.”
“Attendance is required. Unless you’re not interested in leaving Uttira. Ever.”
“Why did I ever think you were nice?”
She smiled, not cruelly but as if she thought I was the funniest thing ever. We’d see how funny she thought me at the festival.
Turning on my heel, I stormed out the door and came to an abrupt halt at seeing Fenris leaning against the wall in the hallway.
Nine
When he saw me, Fenris straightened away from the wall and ran a hand through his already mussed hair, a look of guilt on his unusually serious face.
“I’m sorry about Aubrey,” he said.
The door closed behind me. Apparently Adira didn’t much care about our drama.
“Don’t sweat it. Eliana told me about your mate run thingy. Are you considering Aubrey?”
“Not if I can help it.”
“Then, why don’t you tell her that?” We stayed where we were in a quiet corridor without other students.
“I’ve tried. You saw how she treats the others. It’s worse when she doesn’t think she has a chance.”
He’d just given me more reason not to like her. I hated bullies.
“Is that why she has a problem with me? She thinks I threaten that chance?”
“She knows I hung out with you and that I’d like to do it again.”
As much as I liked the idea of continuing to piss Aubrey off by just existing, because it was nice to know someone else lived in my hell, I didn’t want to lead Fenris on.
“Look, I like hanging out with you, Fenris, but—”
“Aubrey won’t be a problem. I have a plan to keep her distracted this time.”
“Um, that’s not what I was going to say.”
The bell rang.
“We’ll talk about this tonight. Okay? I’ll swing by your place after school. Eliana’s taking you home, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Perfect. I’ll catch you later.”
He turned on his heel and jogged down the hall to the stairs.
Wondering why I’d been crazy enough to want to come to school, I followed. Slowly. When I reached the end of the hall, Oanen stood there. His expression wasn’t neutral this time. Disapproval tugged at his brow and lips.
“What’d I do now?”
“You’re late for your first session.”
“I know. I’m going.” I grabbed the railing, intending to start up the stairs. His hand closed over mine. The heat of his skin distracted me.
“Do you even know where you’re supposed to be?” he asked.
I pulled my hand out from under his.
“Second floor. First hall. Third door on the right.”
“No. Principles of Human Integration is your second session. Introduction to Self-Discovery is your first session. I’ll walk you there.”
I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to lead the way. Instead of taking the steps up, he turned and went down the wide hall that Adira first showed me and stopped at the second door.
“This is it. I’ll see you in Lucas’s session.”
“You mean you don’t have this one?”
He studied me for a second.
“I already know what I am,” he said quietly.
“So this class is about figuring out what I am?”
“I don’t know. Never had to take it.”
“Why do you know my schedule?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t.” He turned and walked away, leaving me at the door.
I stared after him a moment, wondering what his deal was. Was he really like this with all the girls or was I getting special treatment because of my association with Eliana?
Pulling my gaze from the view of his retreating backside, I entered the room and interrupted a woman mid-sentence.
“Megan,” she said. “I’m LuAnn. Come in and take a seat. Adira said you’d be joining us today.”
I looked at the students and immediately saw Eliana’s smiling face and the empty seat beside her.
After almost ninety minutes, I understood that Self-Discovery wouldn’t give me a straight up answer about what I might be. Instead, it was just like it said. Meditative self-discovery crap.
With a promise to find me during our lunch break, Eliana said goodbye in the hall. In the crush of bodies, I kept my eyes on the floor and found my way to Lucas’s Principles of Public Integration session without incident.
Most of the desks were empty, except the group at the front. I openly smirked at Aubrey’s dirty
sundress. She scowled at me. Ignoring her, I winked at Fenris. The soft rumble of her growl filled the room. Satisfied, I took my seat and waited for the bell to ring.
“Why must you purposely annoy her?” Oanen asked from beside me.
“According to Adira, pissing people off is my superpower.”
“Don’t you take anything seriously?”
I thought about it.
“Not really. That must be another superpower.”
He exhaled slowly and sat back in his chair, not talking to me again until the bell rang ten minutes before eleven.
“I’ll walk with you to the cafeteria,” he said, standing.
It wasn’t an offer; it was an order. Oddly, though, it didn’t annoy me. I had no idea where the cafeteria was anyway.
“Ok. Eliana said she’d meet up with me there.”
We stepped out into the chaos. Only, this time, I didn’t have to hug the walls and avoid eye contact. With Oanen beside me, people moved out of the way. Even Finnegan nodded to Oanen and gave him wide berth.
I glanced at the guy beside me, wondering what hold he had over everyone. It couldn’t just be his incredibly good looks because his hold wasn’t only on the students. The faculty all treated him with respect, too. Instructors nodded to Oanen when they passed him in the halls. And, when we reached the cafeteria on the ground floor, the lunch lady gave Oanen a wider smile and an extra helping of grilled trout and fried greens. She offered me the same because I was with him, but I politely declined. I’d have enough trouble finishing what was already on my tray.
Turning away from the extremely bland but nutritionally packed lunch line, I spotted Eliana already at a table. She waved at me, and I quickly started across the crowded room.
Mid-way, my temper flared. I froze, the tray dropping from my stiff fingers. Sniggers erupted around me. I clenched my fists and started to turn, already feeling the location of the object of my rage.
Before even seeing the person, arms wrapped around me.
“I don’t think so,” Oanen said. He lifted me off my feet and strode toward the side door. As soon as the door closed, I felt fine.
“Was it Aubrey?” I asked. “I could have taken her.”
Oanen set me on my feet, his head bent as he looked down at me disapprovingly.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but Fenris and his followers always go for a run at lunch.”
“I liked you better when you were still trying to figure me out and didn’t scowl at me all the time,” I said.
The door opened, and Eliana rushed out.
“Are you okay? Do you want a hug?”
“I’m fine. A hug isn’t necessary.” Did she think I was embarrassed over dropping my tray?
“Because, I could, you know, take some of that anger, if you wanted.”
“Oh! Sure. Hug away.” I opened my arms, and she shyly wrapped her arms around my torso and laid her head on my shoulder.
Eliana’s hugs rocked. The anger lingering inside me immediately melted away, leaving me with an uncommon mellowness. It felt weird but oh so nice. Knowing I had Eliana to thank for this new feeling, I hugged her in return. The embrace turned into more of a snuggle, but I didn’t care.
“I think that’s enough, Eliana. She’s starting to smile,” Oanen said from beside us.
I was, and realizing it made me smile more.
“You have my permission to hug me anytime I look like I’m going to lose my temper,” I said before Oanen pried me off of her.
“Only if I’m not around to stop the fight myself,” he said. “Stay here, and I’ll get you a new lunch. We’ll eat outside.”
Again with the bossiness. I stared after him, noticing the way his shirt hugged his shoulders and the way his jeans rode low on the curve of his tight—
“Can I come over and talk to you tonight?” Eliana asked, interrupting my thoughts.
I wrinkled my nose.
“I’d say yes, but Fenris is coming over. He and I need to talk.”
“Oh?” she said with a teasing grin.
“Not that kind of talk. Although I enjoy doing anything that will piss off Aubrey, I don’t want to lead Fenris on. I’m not healthy for a relationship. Especially one of my own.”
Her playful smile fell, and she looked at me rather sadly. Before she could say anything more, Oanen returned with two trays, and we finished our lunch period in relative quiet.
My second and third sessions, General Living Skills and Advanced Human Studies, were a joke. The fight that I almost caused during the free time between the two sessions was just as sad. I didn’t land a single decent punch thanks to Oanen.
Eliana met me in the hall after Advanced Human Studies, which was on the third floor.
“Oanen’s already on the roof. He told me to tell you, no fighting.”
I rolled my eyes and followed her down the stairs. No one moved out of the way for us this time.
“What gives? When Oanen’s with us, everyone moves. When he’s gone, people try to push us into the walls.”
One of the passersby snorted and kept going. Eliana didn’t say anything, but I caught her smirky grin.
Outside, people mingled by their cars. Fenris stood near the sporty red car he’d arrived in while talking animatedly with Aubrey. She caught me looking, and I blew her a kiss. Before she could take a step in my direction, Fenris grabbed her arm and pulled her toward their car.
That same eagle cry we’d heard on the way to school echoed around the parking lot.
“We better get going,” Eliana said.
I glanced at the top of the building and saw Oanen perched there. His golden gaze pinned me.
“No one likes a bully, Oanen,” I said softly. “I should know.”
I got into the car and buckled up. A shadow fell over the hood, circling.
“Is he always like this?” I asked. “How has he not smothered you, yet?”
Eliana shrugged as she backed out of her spot.
“Do you think you’ll come in tomorrow?” she asked.
“Not if I can help it. I thought I missed people, but today reminded me why I’m better off at home, reading the notes and watching the videos. Why do you go?”
“I didn’t, but Adira talked to Mr. and Mrs. Quill and told them it would be in my best interest to attend.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Quill?”
“Oanen’s mom and dad. My guardians.”
“And has it helped?”
“Not really.” She glanced up at the sky then took the turn out of the Academy.
For the rest of the drive, neither of us spoke. When Eliana pulled up in front of the house, I thanked her for the ride.
“Let me know if you want company tomorrow after school,” she said before she drove away.
I waved then looked up at the sky for Oanen, but he’d disappeared.
A single day of school should have cured me of my boredom; yet, now that I was home, loneliness surged again. Probably because I’d found someone I actually liked. Not just Eliana, either. Oanen, too, even though he could lighten up a little. And Fenris. I sighed, thinking of him and the upcoming talk. Usually I liked making people cry.
Shaking my head, I walked around to the back and let myself in.
Over an hour later, Fenris knocked on my front door. With a smile, I welcomed him and waved him to a seat in the living room.
“As promised, Aubrey is conveniently distracted,” he said with a small bow.
I chuckled, unable to help myself.
“Good to know. Is that why she came here? Because she’d found out that you took me to town?”
“Yeah. Even over the stink of the exhaust from that old car, she caught your scent when she saw me. Our noses are a pain in the ass sometimes.”
We sat on the couch, and I turned toward him. He continued to watch me with that open, attentive look he gave everyone.
“Fenris, I need to be straight with you. I’m not interested in being anyone’s girlfriend. My life is too complicated.”
I shook my head. “My issues have issues. I’m more likely to spontaneously hit you than kiss you. Hanging out like this, although really awesome for me, is just going to cause you more trouble.”
He grinned a smile that would have melted the coldest girl’s heart.
“You’re adorable, and that is my favorite rejection, by far.”
I rolled my eyes. “Like anyone ever rejects you.”
“You’d be surprised,” he said with increasing seriousness. “What did Eliana tell you about the mate run?”
“Not much really. Just that, like most teenage boys, your hormones will get the best of you; but whatever willing girl you find yourself with, whenever that magical moment occurs, you’re stuck with for life.”
“Willing? She doesn’t know as much as I’d thought.”
“Willing was my addition. Would you actually force someone?”
“No. I hope not.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, his frustration clear. “For us males, when our biological clock goes off, we’re a slave to our instincts. Or, so my father has told me. The first female we smell, we want, and we tend to chase her down. That’s the mate run. Chasing her until she stops and gives in. My father says it’s a playful chase.” He exhaled slowly.
“So Aubrey is sticking to your side in hopes that your clock will go off when she’s near, so you can playfully chase her down, have your way with her, and make her your wife for life.” I gave him a sympathetic look. “That’s rough.”
“Not just Aubrey but all the rest of the girls in my pack who are around my age.”
“Aren’t there any other guys?”
He shrugged and sighed.
“Thank you for being honest about not being interested in me. I’d still like to hang out, though, if you don’t mind the occasional evil eye from Aubrey.”
“I think I can handle that.”
He looked toward the foyer a second before someone pounded on the door.
“Be right back,” I said, already moving to answer.
I opened the door to Oanen. Bare-chested with jeans riding low on his hips, he stood barefoot on my porch. Sweat glistened on his chest, right between his pectorals. I licked my lips and tried not to stare.