by Ginna Gray
Dani stole a look at her sister and sighed. Her face was pinched and tight. Her head was bent and her brown hair had swung forward, the tips of the short bob resting on her cheeks as she stared fixedly at her plate. Dani knew that Charlene's coldness wasn't directed at Jason but at her, and for the thousandth time she wondered why.
It wasn't until the meal was almost over and conversation had become general that Charlene unbent enough to speak. And then only because Chad asked her a direct question.
"Are you and Ben going to drive up to the lake with us on Friday, or are you coming Saturday morning?"
"We'll probably come up Saturday. The worst of the holiday traffic will be over by then, and besides, I don't want to disrupt Becky's schedule too much," she replied stiffly.
Dani looked from one to the other. "You're going to a lake?"
"Yeah. To this little private lake up by Grapeland for the Memorial weekend," Chad answered. "Man, are we gonna have a good time. The owners have the place set up especially for family picnics and reunions. All around the lake there are cabins to rent, some that sleep as many as twenty people. And a hall where we can all get together for meals. Practically the whole
Edwards clan is going to be there. Didn't Mom tell you?"
"No, she didn't," Dani said quietly. Though she tried not to let it show, there was a look of sad reproach in her eyes when they sought her mother.
"Didn't I?" Sophie placed a hand against her cheek. "Oh dear, I meant to, but I guess—what with all the planning and all—I just forgot. Do forgive me, darling. I suppose in the back of my mind I assumed you would be too busy with your job to get away, but I really did intend to call and invite you. I guess I'm just getting to be a forgetful old woman." She chewed her bottom lip and looked at Dani pleadingly, her brown eyes wide with contrition, then hastened to add, "But of course you're welcome to join us. You know that."
No, she didn't know that. How could she? But Dani didn't voice the thought. Instead she smiled back weakly at the woman she had called mother since she was seven years old. Sophie was basically a kind person. Dani knew that she didn't mean to hurt her, but somehow that was the way things always turned out. She had lived in this house for thirteen years. Joe and Sophie had taken her in and given her their name, had fed and clothed her, given her a home, but Dani had never quite managed to become a part of the family. Not really.
"Why on earth would Dani even be interested," Charlene inserted dismissively. "After all, it's a family gathering."
There was a pulse beat of awkward silence during which throats were cleared and eyes were averted. Jason looked up sharply, a puzzled frown forming between his brows as his gaze slid from Charlene to
Dani. The cool withdrawn look on her beautiful face was the only clue that the barb had struck its target.
With blank blue eyes she looked directly at Charlene and said quietly, "Actually, Mother is right. I can't spare the time away from my job at the moment. I'll probably be working over the Memorial Day weekend."
"Don't be absurd," Jason snapped. "The factory will be closed over the holiday. There's no reason why you can't go."
A tight smile curved Dani's mouth when she turned her head to look at him. "You forget—I do almost as much work at home after hours as I do on site. I've got plenty to keep me busy, believe me."
Jason started to argue but something in her face made him pause, and after a moment he shrugged and grimaced wryly. "Okay, have it your way. But if you're not careful your family is going to think that I'm a slave driver."
"Naw. We know Dani," Chad put in. "When she was in school she used to hole up in her room all the time, studying. We never saw her except at mealtime, and then Mom had to drag her out. It's the same with her work." In typical brotherly fashion, he shot Dani a disgusted look and shook his head pityingly. "I tell ya, man, the woman's got a one-track mind."
"Thanks," Dani said dryly. But everyone laughingly agreed with him, and the strained moment passed.
After the meal the men went outside and relaxed in the shade of the huge old ash tree in the backyard while the women dealt with the kitchen. When they were done, Sophie and Charlene joined them, but Dani excused herself and started down the hall as though headed for the bathroom. Instead she slipped quietly into the room that had once been hers, and closed the door.
Dani stood in the middle of the floor and looked around. It was exactly the same. A single bed, a chest of drawers, a bookcase and a scarred old desk all but filled the tiny room.
Chad had been right, she thought sadly. She had holed up in this room as a teenager. But not only because she had wanted to study. This had been her refuge. It had been easier, somehow, to withdraw into her own little world than to yearn for a place in theirs.
After giving the room one last long wistful look, Dani turned to leave. But as she stepped out the door she heard a cry from her parents' bedroom at the end of the hall, a tiny mewling that began to grow rapidly into squawks of sheer outrage.
The sounds drew Dani like a magnet. Within moments she was standing beside the portable crib at the foot of Joe and Sophie's bed, peering down at her tiny red-faced niece who was diligently working herself into a tantrum. The baby's clenched little fists were flailing the air jerkily and her heels made swishing sounds as they kicked against the sheet. Her eyes were tightly closed and her features were screwed up in a furious scowl.
Dani smiled. The display of temper from such a tiny creature was absurd. Unable to resist, she gently scooped the baby up and held her close, cuddling the little face into the curve of her neck. "There, there, sweetheart. You're okay," Dani crooned, as her fingers stroked the soft fuzz on the round little head. "You're okay."
Becky's cries tapered off into little grunting noises and she snuggled closer. She was warm and sweet smelling, and as Dani inhaled the heavenly scent of talc and baby she closed her eyes and laid her cheek on the downy head, her lips curving into a tender, bittersweet smile. Her heart squeezed with aching tenderness, a yearning that reached deep down into her soul. Humming softly, Dani swayed back and forth and marveled silently at the incredible softness of the infant's skin, how truly wonderful it felt to hold her.
Standing quietly in the doorway, Jason watched her. He was gripped with an emotion so strong it was almost suffocating. He didn't move. Or even breathe. Lord, she's beautiful. Like a madonna.
Dani's soft expression held him entranced and he stared at her, marveling at the delicacy of her closed eyelids, the tenderness that radiated from her, the inner glow that lit her lovely face. She was the essence of womanhood. Feminine. Maternal. Loving. Jason knew that for as long as he lived he would remember this moment.
As he watched her, an even more powerful emotion hit him, and he was suddenly seized with a fierce longing to see her holding her own child. His child.
An aching tightness squeezed at Jason's throat and he swallowed hard. Never taking his eyes from her, he walked into the room. "Do you have any idea how lovely you look?" he asked quietly and smiled as he watched Dani's eyes fly open.
"She was fretting," she whispered as though she hadn't heard his question. "I'm trying to get her back to sleep."
Dani pressed a kiss to the top of the baby's head and looked up at him, and Jason's breath caught at the dreamy softness in her blue eyes. He touched her cheek almost reverently with the tips of his fingers. "Oh, Dani," he said in a shaken whisper.
The air vibrated with a poignant silence as they stared at each other. Dani's gaze was filled with wonder and unconscious longing, Jason's with awe and hunger and a fierce possessiveness. "Dani," he whispered again. With the baby between them, he bent and took her lips in an exquisitely soft kiss that sent shudders rippling through them both.
Their lips clung sweetly, but after a moment Becky began to squirm and make sharp little grunting noises. Jason lifted his head, drew a deep, chest-expanding breath, and grimaced wryly. "I think we're being scolded."
"She needs to go back to sleep. I think she woke
up because she lost her pacifier. There it is on the floor. Why don't you go rinse it off for me while I check her diaper?"
"Sure." Jason picked up the pacifier and went into the adjacent bathroom. As he held it under the faucet a strident voice erupted in the bedroom.
"What do you think you're doing?"
Frowning, Jason turned off the water and walked to the doorway, just in time to see Charlene snatch the infant out of Dani's arms.
"I... she was crying," Dani explained uneasily. "I was just trying to comfort her."
"She doesn't need you to comfort her. You just keep your hands off my baby." Charlene glared at Dani, her expression filled with dislike. "You're always butting in where you're not wanted.
"And you've always had everything. Everything! Looks. Brains. A great job. But this is one thing you can't have, isn't it, Dani?" she taunted. "Because to have a baby it takes a man, and you're not woman enough to hold one. Oh, I'm sure your Mr. St. Clair would be glad to give you a tumble in the sack," she sneered, smiling nastily. "But no man wants to marry an egghead."
Jason stiffened then began to move; he had heard enough. But as he walked back into the room Charlene whirled and stomped out. Hands on his hips, he stared at the doorway where she had disappeared then turned and studied Dani. He started to demand an explanation, but the shattered look on her face stopped him. His first instinct was to go to her and hold her, to offer comfort, but something told him that now was not the time. After a moment he said quietly, "I think we'd better go, don't you?"
At the sound of Jason's voice Dani jumped and turned to look at him, her eyes wide with surprise. She had forgotten that he was there. "I..." She stopped and caught her lower lip between her teeth, then nodded. "Yes. Perhaps that would be best," she agreed in a subdued voice.
Within minutes Jason had smoothly made their excuses and hustled Dani into the car. As they pulled away from the Edwards house she sat stiffly in her seat, hands folded in her lap, and looked out the side window, withdrawn and silent. After a mile or so Jason broke into her painful thoughts.
"Would you mind telling me what that was all about?"
With a sigh Dani lifted a hand in a futile little gesture but then let it drop limply back into her lap. "Oh, just a bit of sibling rivalry, I guess," she said tiredly.
"Don't give me that. I have two brothers, so I know all about sibling rivalry, and believe me, that wasn't it. And what's been going on all day? Except for Chad, they all treat you more like a guest than a member of the family.''
Tipping her head back, Dani laughed shortly, but there was no mirth in the sound. "That's because I'm not. Not really. You see, Sophie and Joe adopted mc when I was seven, shortly after..." Dani looked down at her hands. Nervously she twisted the ring on her little finger around and around. "After I lost my parents."
"What?" Jason's head snapped around. His face wore a look of utter shock. "My God, Dani. Why didn't you tell me?"
The concern in his voice made her chin quiver slightly, but Dani merely shrugged one shoulder. "It was a long time ago." Carefully keeping her expression blank, she stared out the window. When they stopped at a traffic light she could feel Jason's eyes on her.
After a moment he covered her clasped hands with one of his and said quietly, "I'm sorry about your parents, honey. That must have been rough."
When the light changed and they started moving again, Dani looked at him out of the corner of her eye and wondered what he would think if he knew that her mother had not died, that she had simply given Dani away.
"But the Edwards seem like good people," Jason continued thoughtfully.
"Yes, they are."
"Are Chad and Charlene adopted too?"
Dani's chuckle was a breathy little gust of pure irony. "Oh, no. You see, I was Joe and Sophie's catalyst."
"Catalyst?" Jason shot her a quizzical look as he turned into the underground parking garage at Dani's building. "What the devil is that supposed to mean?"
"Only that—as so often happens when a childless couple finally adopts—they immediately have a child of their own. In this case they had twins."
Dani's face grew pensive as she recalled that first year with Joe and Sophie. At first she had been frightened and insecure, but the Edwards had lavished her with attention and care. They had been delighted to have a child and had seemed genuinely fond of her, and after a while Dani had relaxed and accepted her new home and parents. But then Chad and Charlene arrived, and after that Dani began to come in a poor third in the parents' affections.
As Dani had gotten older she tried to tell herself it was just jealousy on her part—a typical case of sibling rivalry. But it wasn't. Something had changed. Not anything drastic, but a gradual drawing away. As each year passed, the distance between Dani and the rest of the family had grown.
"Maybe the problem between you and Charlene is just a matter of an age gap. When she gains a little maturity maybe she won't feel so threatened and insecure," Jason suggested as he assisted Dani from the car.
"Maybe."
Neither of them spoke as they rode the elevator up to Dani's floor. Jason watched her out of the corner of his eye. Something was bothering her, something more than just Charlene's hostility. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he had gotten to know Dani well enough to recognize the signs. She only withdrew into herself like that when she was angry or hurt. Jason wanted like hell to question her more but he didn't dare. He just wasn't sure enough of Dani yet. She responded to him beautifully, but he sensed a restraint in her, a wariness he didn't understand, and he dared not risk pushing her too far. He had a terrible gut feeling that she would withdraw from him completely if he did.
When they entered Dani's apartment she dropped her purse onto the seat of the hall tree. "Would you like some coffee?"
"No thanks. I can't stay long." When she would have moved away, Jason pulled her into his arms and held her close, his hands locked at the small of her back. His expression was tender as he searched her face. "Despite your sister's bad temper, I did enjoy myself today. I like your folks."
"I'm glad," she said quietly, and some of the icy remoteness began to fade as she stared back at him. "As you said, they're nice people."
Jason's gaze dropped to her mouth and his eyes became even darker. "Mmm, but not half as nice as their oldest daughter," he murmured as his head began a slow descent.
The touch of Jason's lips against hers shattered the last bit of Dani's control. Lifting up on tiptoes, she locked her arms around his neck and strained against him, taking Jason by surprise with her ardent response. He hesitated for just an instant, then his arms tightened, and what had begun as a kiss of loving tenderness exploded into fiery passion.
Dani felt raw and vulnerable, her emotions lacerated, and the comfort of Jason's embrace was irresistible. A visit with her adoptive family always stirred painful emotions but today Charlene's attack had cut her to the quick. She wanted, needed, to prove her wrong, to feel loved and lovable, to know that she was desired.
She pressed close and kissed him with all the love and pent-up feeling that had been locked inside her so long. Her sweet mouth was hot and fervent, her darting tongue an enticement that drew a shuddering groan from the depths of Jason's massive chest.
His hands began to move over her body, stroking her back, pressing the sides of her breasts, gliding down to clutch her bottom and mold her to his virile hardness. The intimate touch sent fire racing through Dani and intensified the aching, empty throb in her lower body. She moaned softly and clutched at his shoulders, her fingers digging into the hard flesh.
With an anguished sound Jason broke the kiss. His breath came in ragged gasps and there was a wild look in his eyes. Grasping her upper arms, he held her away just a little, while he struggled for control. "We've got to stop, sweetheart. I can't take any more of this," he finally managed in a raw voice.
Dani was in no better shape than Jason. Her whole body was quivering with need, but as his words sank in a look
of panic crossed her face. Frantically she tried to move back into his arms. "No, Jason..."
"Dani." Jason groaned her name and tightened his hold on her arms. "Please, honey.. .don't."
"But you don't understand. I don't want you to stop!" she cried... and Jason went perfectly still.
He stared at her, not even blinking, his expression a mixture of caution and shock. "What did you say?"
Her breasts heaving, Dani looked up at him with wide desperate eyes. "I...I've changed my mind. I've decided that I... that I want you to make love to me. I want us to have an affair.''
Chapter 9
Jason closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. As he slowly released it, a great shudder rippled through him.
"No." The word was forced out, a ragged sound that was hardly more than a whisper. His hands fell to his sides and curled into tight fists. The muscles in his face jerked spasmodically as his jaw clenched. Struggling for control, he shook his head sharply and repeated with more force, "No. No affair."
"No?"
Dani stared up at him, pain and confusion plain on her face. She hadn't expected Jason's rejection and the hurt it dealt was stunning. Tears gathered in her eyes and her chin wobbled, but she fought the urge to cry. After a moment she managed a faint "I see."
Hearing the quaver in her voice, Jason opened his eyes, but Dani's gaze was downcast and she missed the desire that still blazed there. "No, I don't think you do," he said with just a trace of gentle amusement.
Dani stepped back and reluctantly met his eyes and flinched at the tenderness and compassion in his face. Her trembling mouth firmed and she raised her chin. "I'm sorry. My mistake. I...I thought you still wanted me."
"Come here, woman." Before Dani could turn away Jason reached out, hooked his hand around her neck and roughly but tenderly hauled her up against him. Slipping his thumb beneath her jaw, he tipped her face up and bent his head until their foreheads were touching.