by Chant, Zoe
“You asked me what I saw when I was inside your mind,” Pete said. “I didn’t see your thoughts, or your secrets. I saw you. I saw what makes you Tirzah. I saw courage and brilliance and kindness. I saw strength and humor and determination, and… you. You’re more yourself than anyone I’ve ever met.”
She was watching him, lips parted, intent on his words. He felt so connected to her, he imagined that he could feel every breath she took.
“And I loved you,” he said quietly. “I don’t know if I fell in love with you then, or if I had some time before and that was when I realized it. I love you, Tirzah. That’s my last secret. Now you know everything.”
Tirzah opened her mouth, then shook her head, as if she felt too much for speech. But she didn’t need to say a word. He could see her love shining like stars, so strong and passionate and true that he couldn’t understand why he’d ever doubted it.
He leaned over to kiss her, but before he could, she caught his hands and pulled him down until he was kneeling before her chair. The imprint of her fingers was as intense a pleasure as touch had once been pain. It took his words away too, along with his breath.
He didn’t know if he reached out to her, or if she pulled him in, only that her soft lips were molded to his, kissing him with a passion that undid him. Pete’s head swam. If he hadn’t already been on the floor, he would have dropped to his knees. He’d never felt anything like the soft wet heat of her mouth.
He didn’t want to move—he didn’t ever want to move—but he wanted to make sure she was comfortable.
“Should I carry you?” His voice was hoarse. “To—to the bed?”
She shook her head, sending the silken curls of her sweet-smelling hair brushing against his cheeks.
“Right here is fine.” Her voice was husky too, velvety, almost a purr. “Here…”
She slid out of the chair and into his arms. His senses reeled at the weight of her, her sweet-spicy nutmeg scent, the softness of her skin, the heat of her body, her lush curves. Tirzah, his love, in his arms at last.
She hauled his shirt off, then traced her fingertips lightly over the bandages. “Do they hurt?”
He shook his head, though the truth was that he wouldn’t have cared even if they had. “You can do anything.”
“Anything…” There was that purr of hers again. It drove him wild. “You too. What do you want?”
“To touch,” he whispered.
She was wearing a blouse that laced up the front, displaying her lush cleavage. “Here.” She handed him the ties.
He gave them a tug, and they unraveled. Another tug at the blouse, and it fell away. Tirzah wriggled in his lap, making him gasp, as she reached behind her back to unsnap her bra. One more wriggle as she discarded both blouse and bra, and then he had the soft globes of her breasts in his hands. Her nipples were brown as maple wood, and when he touched them, they hardened and she gasped.
He could feel her heart speeding up, feel the pulse of her blood, feel her breath catch in her chest. Her eyes were wide, her hair curling tighter as she began to sweat. He watched a lovely pink flush wash over her face and then spread across her chest, like a tide. It was such an incredible turn-on to actually be able to see her arousal.
They lay down. The floor was hard and cool, but he barely noticed. All the while he never stopped kissing her, reveling in her passion, her desire, the startling strength of her hands.
He stroked every curve of her body, glorying in the feeling of her smooth skin, trying to convey the love he felt for her through the very pores of his skin. And as he explored her body, she explored his. Everywhere her fingers touched, he could feel their traces even after they were gone, like trails of light. After all that time of deprivation and loneliness, at last he was getting everything he wanted—everything he needed. But the joy of giving Tirzah what she wanted, what she needed, was even greater than receiving it himself.
He caressed and kissed every bit of her, from the downy skin at the nape of her neck to the sleek column of her spine, from the tips of every one of her fingers to her deliciously plump belly. When he moved lower down, he felt her stiffen for the first time.
“Don’t you like that?” he asked, glancing up.
She gave a nervous giggle. “Oh, that isn’t what I was thinking. And yes, I like it a lot! It’s just… I used to love my legs. Wore little ‘50s-style dresses to show them off.”
Oh. In that case, he decided to put off where he’d been heading at first. Instead, he slid even lower. He’d seen her legs bare before, when she’d worn his WORLD’S BEST DAD shirt and nothing else; they were both badly scarred, and the right visibly thinner from lack of use. But at that time, he’d been distracted by other things.
“You should still love them. I do.” Pete reached up and caught Tirzah’s hand, bringing it to his barbed wire scar, then placed his other hand on the surgical scar running from her hip to her ankle. “These are all battle scars.”
Her breath went out in a long sigh. “Guess we match.”
“How’s the sensation in your right leg?”
“I have some. Not as much as the left.”
“Want to find out exactly how much?”
She smiled. “Go right ahead.”
And he stroked and kissed her legs, the places that were scarred and the places that weren’t. They were all beautiful, all part of his beloved Tirzah, who had saved herself and saved him.
Chapter 24
The last of Tirzah’s self-consciousness vanished, washed away in a tide of love and pleasure and all things good. Pete loved all of her, body and soul. He knew her secrets—he’d literally been inside her mind—and it had only made him love her more. And the way he was kissing and caressing her dispelled any shred of doubt about how much he wanted her.
Just as intensely, just as passionately, she wanted him. She’d longed so desperately to touch and be touched, not just little pats on the shoulder but kisses and caresses over naked skin, and now she could. Her hands roamed over his hard muscles, skating around the edges of the bandages of the wounds he’d gotten protecting her. His dog tags, which were the only thing he was still wearing, were as cool as his skin was hot.
She hated to interrupt the moment, but she had to before it went so far that she forgot everything but the pleasure of the moment. “Hey. I’m not on the pill, so…”
“You don’t have to be.” Pete pulled his wallet from his back pocket and flipped it open, showing off a strip of condoms. At her raised eyebrow, he said, “Hey, a guy can dream.”
“And sometimes dreams come true,” she said with a snicker. “Seriously, I’m glad you have them.”
“Don’t need ‘em yet, though.”
As Pete had promised, he dipped his head down and tasted her. Tirzah gasped at the jolt of pleasure. She lost herself in the heat of his mouth, the caress of his tongue. He seemed to know exactly where to touch, when to be gentle and when to be rougher, when to go fast and when to go slow. She arched her back and moaned as he brought her to an explosive climax.
Her eyes had closed as her orgasm had shaken her body, but she opened them now. She wanted to see Pete, wanted to watch him come. His pupils were huge, his eyes like dark wells. His expression was like nothing she’d ever seen before, a passion so intense it might have been scary, if it hadn’t been matched by her own.
“Tirzah,” he said, and his voice sounded like a growl. “I want you.”
“I want you.” Her voice had dropped low too. “Now!”
He reared up above her. He’d already put on the condom, she noticed. Some other time, she’d have wanted to slow down and savor the sight of his naked body. His scars, so like her own. But now, she just couldn’t wait. Desire crashed through her body like an avalanche, wiping out everything but pure need.
He filled her with one powerful thrust, and they both gasped, their heads rocking back with the fierce pleasure of it. She had never felt such intensity, such passion, such joy. Such love. And when she looked into
Pete’s eyes, she saw her own feelings reflected in their depths.
“Come on,” she urged, or maybe it was Pete who spoke. She couldn’t tell where her body ended and his began. They were melded together as one, two people with a single heart.
And then there was nothing but white-hot ecstasy, and an overwhelming love.
Much as Tirzah could have happily snuggled with Pete for the rest of the day, eventually her post-lovemaking haze faded enough for her to notice that the floor was hard and uncomfortable. She squirmed to get into a better position, and got yanked painfully back by the lock of her hair that was trapped under Pete’s shoulder.
“Ow!”
“Sorry.” He lifted his arm, releasing her. “Want to take a shower?”
“If you can do me a favor and help me keep my balance while I take it. I don’t have a shower chair here.”
He gave her that warm, sweet smile that she hoped she’d get to see for the rest of her life. “That’s not a favor, that’s a treat. Shall I carry you there?”
“Knock yourself out, big guy.”
Tirzah knew Pete was strong, but she hadn’t realized just how strong until he carried her to the bathroom, set her down on the granite counter by the sink, got the shower to just the right temperature, and then scooped her up and stepped into the shower with her.
Still reclining in his arms, tilted her head back and let the hot water pour over her hair. “Now that’s what I call luxury. Who knew a little cabin in the woods would have five-star service?”
“I’ll even shampoo your hair, how’s that for service?”
“Definitely five-star.”
He sat down on the shower floor to do it, with her in his lap. His fingers stroking through her hair was as sensual in its own way as his lovemaking. She could feel how much he loved to touch her.
When he was done, she wriggled around. “I’ll do you now.”
“Barely enough hair to do,” he said, adding quickly, “But don’t let that stop you.”
“Oh, it won’t.” She rubbed shampoo into his short hair, massaging his scalp until he moaned with pleasure.
“We are a perfect match,” she remarked. “You’re touch-starved, and I’m handsy.”
He chuckled. “I don’t know whether you touching me all the time before now kept me sane or nearly drove me crazy. Maybe both.”
“Well,” she said. “We can touch all we like now.”
She’d never tire of that particular look of his, as if he was astonished that the happiness he was feeling was really possible. Though she hoped one day he’d start realizing that it was possible, and no longer be surprised.
The hot water soaked his bandages loose. He peeled them off, and Tirzah was glad but startled to find that his wounds had healed to pink scars.
Pete did not seem surprised. “I told you I healed fast. Best thing about being a shifter, by far.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty great. But don’t you like being able to turn into a bear at all? I always used to daydream about being an animal when I was a kid.”
“No kidding? I did too. Thing is, I don’t really remember being the bear. Maybe I like it while it’s happening.” A shadow darkened his face. “I hope not. I mean, considering what it does…”
“You ever try turning into the bear on purpose? I mean, when nothing violent or dangerous is going on?”
An involuntary shudder ran through him. “No.”
The water had begun to run cool. Pete lifted her, sat her down on the granite counter, snagged a towel from the rack, and gently dried her off. Then she grabbed her own towel, and did him. He knelt to give her access to his hair, which was short enough to dry instantly. She stroked it, reveling in its velvety texture and her newfound permission to touch him as much as she liked.
Pete handed her a bathrobe while he wrapped a towel around his waist. Then, taking her hands, he said, “I can tell you now why I could always touch you. My cave bear told me while we were driving up here. He says it’s because we’re mates.”
“Mates?” Tirzah repeated blankly. “Oh—that was in the Apex file.” She called it back to her memory, and quoted, “‘Ability to recognize or bond with their mate has been severed.’ But what is a mate?”
“It’s what shifters call their true love. I already knew about the mate-severing thing. Lamorat told us that when we were squaring off with him at the Apex base. He said it like it was going to completely destroy our morale once we knew.” Pete laughed. “We had no idea what it meant, so it fell completely flat. By ‘we,’ I mean my team. The west coast team all seemed to know. I asked them later, but I kind of blew off what they said. It seemed so…” He shrugged.
“So what?”
“Romantic,” Pete said after a pause. “You know, I used to be a pretty romantic guy. I don’t mean roses and candles and walks on the beach. I believed in love that lasts forever. I believed if you really love someone, you’d be willing to die for them. Well—I guess I still do believe in all that.”
“Me too. At least, I do now.”
Pete kissed her. “Anyway, the west coast team said everyone has a true mate, and when they get together, that’s the kind of love they’ll have. They said shifters recognize their mate the very first time they look in their eyes. They always fall in love at first sight, and they never fall out of love.”
Fascinated, Tirzah said, “But you didn’t fall in love at first sight with me.”
“No,” he admitted. “I guess that part really did get turned off.” Then, like that made it better, he said, “I did think you were hot at first sight!”
She laughed. “Not the same thing. Though I did too. Hot stuff.”
“Even with a faceful of flying kitten?”
“Oh, sure. I could still see the rest of you. Speaking of which, you should probably order some clothes. I’ve got stuff for me, but, well...”
“What?” Pete said in a mock-injured tone. “You don’t think I’d look good in a ‘50s mini-dress?” Then he said, “No need. I have emergency supplies in my car. Clothes included. I’ll get them now, actually. And your chair.”
He returned as promised, with her wheelchair, their discarded clothes, and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He lifted her into the chair, then put his clothes back on. She watched him dress, unashamed of the enjoyment she took in it, like he was doing a reverse strip-tease.
In a sudden impulse, Tirzah said, “Were you serious when you said my legs were still beautiful?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Follow me.” She led him to her bedroom, then said, “Turn your back.”
When he turned, she opened the closet. There were all the clothes she hadn’t worn in a year, but she knew exactly where a certain dress was. She balanced on her left leg to grab it, then shucked out of the bathrobe, put on fresh underthings, and then wriggled into the dress. She put on shoes, finger-combed her hair, then spun her chair around without looking in the mirror.
“Turn around.”
Pete turned and saw her. If she’d ever had any real doubt that he’d meant when he’d said, it melted in the heat in his eyes as they traveled up her body, from her sparkly shoes to her legs to the cherry-red minidress to her cleavage to her face. And then to all of her, all at once.
“You look good enough to eat.” He sounded distinctly hungry.
“You can have seconds later.” She glanced at herself in the mirror. She did look good, if she did say so herself. Legs and all. “Too bad I didn’t bring any jewelry. This dress really needs a necklace.”
“Here you go.” Pete lowered his head, took off his dog tags, and hung them around her neck. They fell right between her breasts, giving her a delicious little chill. The fire in his eyes burned even hotter. “They look good on you.”
“Very punk. I like it.” She sighed, glancing at the dimming light outside the window. “I should probably get to work now. I just thought you’d enjoy that.”
“Oh, I did. Is the dress comfortable to work in, or do you n
eed to change?”
“Eh, work is just moving my chair to the computer room. It’s fine. Actually, it’s nice to dress up again. I haven’t in a while.”
“Bring the dress back with you,” he suggested. “I’ll take you to a restaurant.”
“Good idea.” She beckoned him over, and they kissed.
Then she headed for the computer room. She’d already booted everything up, and made sure it was in working order. She settled down in front of a laptop and got to work. If Apex had left any online traces beyond that one file, she was going to find them.
Tirzah quickly became absorbed in her work, barely noticing as the light outside the windows darkened, then turned to full night.
Her fingers flew across the keyboard. And then struck painfully against something hard as a rock. At the same moment, the screen went black. And not just the screen. The entire laptop had gone black, keyboard and all, with a distinctive glassy gleam.
Her laptop had turned to stone.
Chapter 25
“Pete!”
Tirzah’s cry jolted adrenaline through his body, bringing him to instant combat-readiness. He bolted to her computer room, drawing his gun as he went.
Pete realized what had happened even before he saw the strange glassy shine of the computers; his gun was abruptly heavier in his hand, as was the cell phone in his back pocket.
Instinctively, his gaze flashed to the window. A hideous and all too familiar shape was silhouetted against the full moon: membranous wings spread wide, a whiplike tail ending in an arrowhead shape, clawed hands and feet, and distorted features. The gargoyle gave a mocking screech, and flew out of sight.
“Come on!” Pete said.
He grabbed the handles of her chair and pushed it into the living room, then the open kitchen. Batcat and Spike flew after them, meowing frantically. Batcat dove into Tirzah’s lap and Spike landed on Pete’s shoulder the instant Pete stopped moving. Pete put down the solid stone sculpture in the shape of a gun that he’d been holding and snatched up a chef’s knife.