Leo had apologised profusely and told her he would organise things at the restaurant to make sure he was home earlier and had more evenings off. Things improved for a while but, bit by bit, he started sliding back to his old ways. One night he came in drunk and fell over the hall table, waking Maria up and causing Mrs Lowry to have the big showdown with him that had been coming for a while.
Unknown to the two adults, Maria was sitting in her dressing gown at the top of the stairs and listening to every word. She heard Mrs Lowry tell Leo that he was going to come to a bad end if he didn’t stop all his drinking and gambling. She heard her father’s weak apologies and then she heard him break down crying, saying that he felt lonely since Maria’s mother had died, and how he couldn’t sleep at night, and how the only time he relaxed and forgot about losing his wife was when he had a few glasses of wine or was watching a race or playing cards.
“That’s not an answer to it, Leo,” the housekeeper said, but Maria heard a kinder note in her voice. “And the restaurant won’t run itself if you’re at the bookies every afternoon and playing cards in bars in the evening. And you’re going to run into an accident in the car one of these nights when you’ve been drinking too much. Then what will Maria do?”
Maria closed her eyes. The thought made her feel sick. Losing her father was her worst nightmare.
“You’re right,” he said. “You are correct. I will be more careful for both our sakes, and I will try to spend more time with Maria. It’s just that I find it very lonely without Anna . . . and I still have nightmares about the way she died, gasping for breath . . .”
Maria’s hands flew to her mouth. She knew her mother had died from an asthma attack, but she hadn’t really thought about what that meant. She hadn’t thought of her struggling like that . . .
“I know it’s very hard for you, Leo,” Mrs Lowry had continued, “and believe you me, I know what it’s like to feel that way. I lost my only daughter to cancer when she was fifteen years old. It’s something you never really get over, but you just have to make yourself.”
“But how?” Leo had asked. “Do you think I haven’t tried? Do you think I want to feel this way?”
“Keep thinking of Maria and you won’t go wrong. Anna’s gone a few years now, God rest her soul – and maybe it’s time that you found yourself another wife and a new mother for Maria. I think it’s what Anna would have wanted.”
Maria’s heart had raced at Mrs Lowry’s words. How could she say or even think such a terrible thing? She didn’t want someone strange coming into their lives, trying to replace her mother, and neither did her father. They had got used to things, and were happy enough on their own, apart from her father needing to cut down on his drinking and gambling which he had just promised he would.
She moved forward to grip the bannister, listening carefully for his reply.
“Another wife? How could I even think of replacing Anna?”
Maria was glad her father’s voice had sounded so incredulous.
“Think about it, that’s all I’m saying,” Mrs Lowry had said. “It’s not normal for a man to be on his own, and you might be more inclined to come home if you had a nice woman waiting for you. And you’re a fine-looking man – there’s many a woman out there who would be happy to look after you and Maria.”
Maria’s heart had leapt into her throat. How could Mrs Lowry betray her mother’s memory by suggesting her father could love someone else?
Then there had been a silence that made her feel sicker. What if her father took the housekeeper’s advice? Supposing he brought someone back to the house who thought she wanted a new mother?
“But I’m not ready to meet anyone,” her father eventually said. “At this moment in time, the only female I want in my life is Maria.”
Maria’s shoulders slumped forward in relief, and she leaned her head on the bannister railings. Thank God, she thought . . . thank God he doesn’t want another woman.
“Well, you know your own mind,” she heard Mrs Lowry say. “Just make sure that you’re good and sober for her and not throwing all your money away on the horses and cards.”
Maria knew the housekeeper was right, and was speaking to her father as if he were one of her sons, but listening to her telling him off made her feel sad for him.
“Have you any family who could come over from Italy to help you for a while?”
“Well, you know my two brothers recently moved to America.” Her father’s voice was weary. “And my older sister looks after my parents. I have a niece I could ask, but I’m not sure how she would find Manchester . . . if she could settle here.” There was a silence and then he said, “I have many, many good friends here in Manchester and I know they would help me out, but I know Maria would prefer you. You have been with her since she was a baby and I know the feelings you have for her.”
“I know, I know,” Mrs Lowry said. “And it’s not just her I think the world of – sure, you’re like one of my family, Leo – and better than some of them.”
His reply was so low that Maria could not hear it.
“And I don’t really mean it about you getting somebody else to look after her,” Mrs Lowry continued. “I just wanted to give you a bit of a fright, so you would get things on more of an even keel, and not have me sitting here late at night worrying about you.”
“You have my word that things will improve,” he had told her. “I know I need to improve in a few areas of my life, and I will start with this. From now on I will be home as soon as the restaurant closes.”
“Well, that’s fine,” she said. “And I do understand that Fridays and Saturdays are always that bit later. We’ll say no more about it. Now, I need to be getting home, I’ve a busy day ahead of me.”
“I’ll just check Maria is okay, and then I’ll walk you down to the end of the road.”
“She’s fine,” Mrs Lowry said. “I checked on her not five minutes ago and she was fast asleep.”
Before either of them could see or hear her, Maria crept silently back to her room.
It was from that night onwards that Maria began to feel anxious about her father. And while she was very fond of Mrs Lowry, she hoped she would not make any further suggestion that her father go out and find himself another woman. They were doing okay on their own. She had her friends at school and Mrs Lowry and Franco and all the other people in the restaurant. They didn’t need anyone else in their lives.
The wake-up call from the bank came shortly afterwards, and things then changed in the way her father had promised, and had continued nicely up until now.
Chapter 7
Maria always felt self-conscious before walking alone into any café or restaurant other than Leonardo’s. Her face was flushing even before she pushed the glass door open, although she immediately began to relax when she caught sight of the confident Stella standing over by the jukebox. Her friend’s arm was leaning casually over the top of the machine, and she had one long wing of blonde hair falling down over her face. She stood half-posing in her new jeans and leather jacket – the jacket which she had fought over for weeks with her mother.
It was amazing how nothing ever seemed to rattle Stella. She was confident about almost everything, always saying she didn’t care what people thought of her.
Maria hadn’t seen her friend in trousers for a week or two and noticed, with a start, how much looser they seemed than before. Stella was obviously losing weight again. Maria wouldn’t say anything because, the last time she brought up the subject, Stella had been very defensive about it, saying that all dedicated ballet dancers had to watch their weight, that it was part and parcel of their life. But, looking at Stella now, she was looking too thin, almost frail.
Maria came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. “Do you come here often?”
Stella swung around and they both started to giggle.
“Do you want a Pepsi?” Maria asked.
“Yeah, that would be great. I’ll just finish picking my five rec
ords and then I’ll grab us a booth at the back.” Stella always preferred the seats at the back of the café as they could watch everyone who came in and out without being seen too obviously themselves.
When they were both settled with their bottles of Pepsi and pink-and-white stripy straws, Stella leaned across the table and whispered, “Can you believe we’re going to the pictures with Tony – and Paul Spencer? It’s brilliant, isn’t it?”
Maria pulled a face and then rolled her eyes. “I’m quite nervous about it, aren’t you?”
“Not really – they’re probably a lot more nervous anyway. I read in a magazine that boys are less confident than girls.” She laughed. “We’re not the ones who have to worry about making the first move . . .”
“Oh, don’t!” Maria said.
Stella laughed, knowing she had hit a raw spot. She turned to the side and then slid her arm up on to the back of the leather seat. “This will be Paul pretending he’s leaning his arm on the back of your seat in the cinema, and next thing he’ll casually lean on your shoulder . . . and then he’ll make a grab for one of your –”
“Don’t dare say it!” Maria leaned across the table and pushed her friend’s arm in a playful manner. “If he even tries anything like that on a first date he’ll be in so much trouble.”
“Won’t you let him kiss you? Seriously, Maria – surely you won’t mind him kissing you?” She lifted her Pepsi bottle and took another sip.
Maria shrugged. “I haven’t even thought that far.”
“You don’t need to worry – you’ve been out with other boys before. What about Kevin Andrews? You went out with him for a few months last year.”
“That was different – he seemed much younger. I felt a lot younger than I do now. And I suppose I only saw him the odd weekend because he lived in Buxton. When I think back, we only saw each other half a dozen times. Not exactly a serious boyfriend.”
Stella’s brows came down. “You did at least kiss him, didn’t you? I’m sure you told me you did.”
“Yes, of course I kissed him!” Maria felt a sense of indignation, as though her friend thought she was a complete child. How could she tell her that up until recently she wasn’t that interested in boys? That her schoolwork, her hobbies and the restaurant had all kept her busy enough. And each summer, when Stella and her other friends were out and about meeting boys, she and her father had spent a month in Italy with her elderly grandparents.
“Kissing a boy is no big deal,” Stella said. “It’s deciding when to let them go a bit further is the problem. Especially when they’re nineteen years old and really good-looking, like Tony.”
A tinge of alarm ran through Maria now. She always felt awkward when Stella alluded to sex. It was something she herself had no personal experience of, and their discussions nearly always ended up in a row because one minute Stella would talk as though she knew everything about it and then, if Maria showed any kind of shock, the next minute she would back-pedal and say she had picked her up all wrong. The last time they had the conversation Stella had really had a go at her, saying she was suggesting she was some kind of a harlot.
Maria thought better of continuing the conversation and side-stepped it by laughing and saying, “I’ve not even thought about anything like that – I’ve been too busy worrying about not having anything to talk about.”
“You’ve loads to talk about – horses for a start.”
“That’s all I’ve ever spoken to him about before. The conversation we had on the phone this afternoon was the very first one we’ve ever had without mentioning horses. We can’t just say ‘Hello’ tonight and then go straight into talking about horses again.”
Stella’s shoulders started heaving and she had to cover her mouth.
“It’s not funny,” Maria said, laughing in spite of herself. “You’ve chatted to Tony loads of times. What do you talk about?”
Stella looked thoughtful. “Lots of things . . . music, television, football . . . all that sort of thing.”
“Football?” What do you know about football?”
“Well, I don’t actually have to say much on the subject. Tony just yaks on about it and I just pretend to look interested. Most of the time we just have a laugh together. He’s really funny.”
“The thing is,” Maria said, “you know him much better than I know Paul Spencer.”
“Well, don’t forget that Tony is a few years older than us, and he’s very easy to talk to. And he might only be a riding instructor – as my dear mother keeps reminding me – but he is intelligent in his own way.” She narrowed her eyes in thought. “Paul is definitely more the shy type, but he can’t be that shy if he got the courage up to ring you himself.”
“I suppose that’s true . . .”
“I must be honest, Maria, I was terrified he would back out of tonight because he wasn’t brave enough to phone you –” Stella suddenly stopped and craned her neck, looking towards the door. “I don’t believe it . . . here they come, half an hour early! They must be really keen.”
Maria’s heart started to race, and she wished she’d had time to go to the ladies’ to check her hair and make-up. She grabbed her friend’s hand and whispered, “Do I look all right? My hair’s not all messed up or anything, is it?”
Stella gave her a brief glance. “You look fine. Stop worrying. Just act natural and relaxed.” She gave a wave now to attract the boys’ attention and then, when they spotted her, she swept a hand through her blonde hair and gave them a big sultry smile.
Amidst her panic about how she looked, Maria registered her friend’s sexy hair gesture. It was one of the film-star poses that Stella often did for a laugh at school to entertain their friends when they were fooling around at break times. The one she had just demonstrated was a Brigitte Bardot gesture, but this time there were no giggles – she was doing it for real.
Tony came straight up to the table and slid into the leather couch on Stella’s side, grinning and bumping his hip against hers to get her to move along and make room for him. Maria half-turned to see Paul standing at the table next to her. When she looked up at him, he smiled and raised his eyebrows and she tried to look casual as she quickly moved to the inside to let him sit beside her.
Tony clapped his hands and then rubbed them together. “Well, girls,” he said, looking at one and then the other, “you’re certainly looking good tonight without the school uniforms or the riding gear.”
“The cheek of it!” Stella said, giving him a playful shove. “We could say the same about you two.”
“Oh, it’s a long time since I wore a school skirt!”
They all laughed.
Tony looked at his watch. “We’ve three quarters of an hour before the film starts. Do you fancy another Pepsi, girls?”
Maria looked at him and thought his manner – albeit pleasant and cheery – was that of someone who was now in complete control of the group. She presumed it was because he was older than them that it was the natural thing to do, but something told her that Tony would be like that with fellows his own age. Paul Spencer was only a year or so older than her and Stella, and obviously had a different personality altogether. So far he hadn’t said a word.
Stella held her bottle up and made a little face. She looked over at Maria. “Do you want another one?”
Before she could say anything, Tony put his hands flat on the table and said, “Maybe you’d like to chance something a bit more exciting? A shandy or a Babycham maybe?”
Maria caught her breath at the suggestion of them going to a pub and looked across the table to see Stella’s reaction – but Stella just smiled and shrugged.
“Is there anywhere around here that would let us in?” Paul’s voice was doubtful.
“With your height, no one’s going to question you.”
“I was thinking of the girls. They’re quite a bit underage.”
Maria knew she should speak up now because she could tell Paul felt the same as she did but she didn’t want St
ella to accuse her of being a killjoy. She was actually surprised that her friend wasn’t speaking up because the Maxwells were stricter than her father about everything. Over the last few years Maria had been allowed a glass of wine with their meals at the weekends as her father said he would rather she learned to drink carefully than feel she had to sneak it behind his back. Maria had no great interest in it at all and would have been happy with a Pepsi.
“They don’t look underage for anything tonight,” Tony said, winking at the girls. He turned back to Paul. “I’m sure we’d get into The Staging Post without any trouble. I’ve been in there a good few times and never seen the staff question anyone. The old fella at the bar is easy-going and at this time it’s empty so he’ll probably be glad of the custom. They have a small room at the door – you three could go into and I’ll go to the bar.”
Stella caught Maria’s eye now and gave her a big smile. Then she put her arm through Tony’s. “I’m game for it if the rest of you are.”
“Great stuff!” Tony looked at the other two.
Maria suddenly felt a hand on her arm. She glanced up and saw Paul was staring at her with a concerned expression on his face. “Are you okay about going into a pub? We won’t be there long.”
Maria’s mind worked quickly. What was the worst that could happen? She supposed it would be getting put out of the pub for being too young or her father finding out. Neither were the end of the world for her. She shrugged and smiled. “If you all want to go, then I’m okay too.”
As they left the café, Tony caught Stella’s hand and they walked ahead, laughing and carrying on, leaving Paul and Maria to follow. Maria felt awkward and shy for a few moments until Paul started chatting.
Music from Home Page 6