by Alexis Batty
“Your magic feels like an electrical storm that is trying to escape wherever it sees an opening. Try picturing your body being filled with electrical wires conducting that electricity to where you want it to go,” answers Jared.
“What does your magic feel like?” I ask curious about his answer.
Jared thinks for a moment. “It’s been a while since I thought about it. I’ve gotten so used to it that I don’t even notice anymore. My magic feels more like a rushing river. It’s one steady stream that can wash everything away if I lose control of it.”
“Is it different for everyone?” I ask.
“Yes. Everyone is a uniquely different person, so it stands to reason that their own magic will feel differently. There are similarities, but I have never heard anyone use the same descriptions for their magic as someone else. Now focus on conducting those sparks,” orders Jared.
I guess the Q and A session is over. My magic is easier to find now that I know what it feels like. It isn’t any easier to control than it had been yesterday. The sparks still don’t listen to me.
I try imagining conducting it through invisible wires but that didn’t help. The problem is that I can’t control all the sparks, so the few I did gain control over quickly escape.
Like the cliché light bulb in cartoons, an idea clicks in my mind. Rather than trying to control all the sparks at once, I start trying to control the sparks in just one area and then spread out from there. I focus on the magic jumping in my toes. There isn’t as many sparks there making it the logical starting point.
I don’t know how long it takes for me to get control of the magic in my feet, but it feels like a success. Working my way up my legs, I slowly start to gain more confidence in my ability to control this electricity inside me.
The objective is to gain control and direct the magic to one hand. I finally have the control, now I need to learn how to direct the current. I also have to control the strength want it to have. When I try to move the magic to my hand from my arm, all the rest of the magic in my body try to follow. Not only does it try to follow, it tries to rush and fill up space as quickly as possible. It’s hard to control when it does that.
I try to imagine having a dam blocking the electrical current to help control the flow, but it just completely stops the flow. My next idea is to imagine the magic flowing through me continually and depositing small amounts in my palm as it passes by. I can feel the weight of the magic in my hand gradually build. A breeze flows through the room. I open my eyes wondering what caused the wind.
Jared is sitting smugly in front of me as sweat drips down his face. “Well done Short Stack, now for the tricky part. Try to absorb the magic back inside yourself from your palm.”
“Why don’t I just release it into the air?” I ask.
“Uncontrolled magic is dangerous. You haven’t mastered it, yet. It could do anything if you were to do that. Once you master it, you’ll be able to release it like that and control what it does. You do that now, and you could blow up the house,” answers Jared.
I focus on bringing the magic back in a slow and steady flow. It’s like I have created an outlet that allows a small amount of magic to flow in and out. It takes longer to get the magic back in than it had been to get it out.
“Jared is the wind from the magic?”
“Yes. The magic wasn’t given a specific form to take. When that happens, it will take on one of the basic magical elements generally at random. The basic magical elements are air, metal, fire, ice, water, earth, shadow, and light. Each element is connected to one of the original magical families. I’ve already told you that my family's element is water and yours is shadows. The moon is the symbol of shadow,” explains Jared.
“I don’t get it. How are our families balanced?” I shook my head confused by the connection.
“Well, it might make more sense if you knew that the light was represented by the sun, and is connected with the earth element. The light brings life while the earth cares and shelters it. The earth gives a place for life to exist and gives the life-giving light a place and purpose to shine. Fire and ice are connected. They make up for each other’s shortcomings. Fire is quick and impatient. It gives all of itself in what it does. Ice is slow and calculating. It takes its time, but they can both be incredibly destructive. Ice can carve tracks in the earth and drag mountains down. Fire’s destructive abilities are easy to see. Just like how it gives all of itself, fire consumes all that is around it. When you combine the two, you are able to reign in the destructive tendencies of each element. Some of the greatest magical pairings have come from the fire and ice families. There really is very little that can stop them,” explains Jared.
“Ok that makes sense, I guess. How are air and metal connected?”
“Air is light and lives in the sky. It is spread thin making it weak and easier for others to manipulate it. When water is added to the air it feels heavy. Heat makes it stifling, while cold makes it biting. Metal is dense and heavy. It can’t be swayed by other elements easily. Once it has taken its form, it is hard to change it. The metal family keeps the air family grounded, while the air family gets the metal family to open up to different ideas. At some point, you’ll meet people from the different families making it easier for you to see the complementary nature of the pairings,” chuckles Jared.
“I’m not sure I need to. It makes sense what you said, but you failed to explain shadows and water.”
“You’re right. Well, my understanding is that because water is always moving and changing, usually at a faster pace than you even realize, it is paired with shadows which don’t change. Your understanding and perceptions of shadows can change, but they are still the same shadows. Does that make sense?” ask Jared.
“Yeah, no not really.”
“Don’t worry too much about the pairings. Come on let’s go eat lunch. Make sure you keep control of your magic. If you are able to do that through lunch then when we get back we’ll start working on changing the form your magic creates when you bring it out.”
It’s harder than I thought it would be to keep control of my magic during lunch. Every few minutes my control starts to loosen, and I have to tighten it again. Jared tells me that eventually, I will be able to do it unconsciously. It just takes practice. I have noticed that it becomes easier every time I tighten my control.
After lunch, I’m back in the training room. Jared explains that some spells will be easier than others for me to learn. That makes sense, but what didn’t make sense is being told that the only type of elemental spells I will be able to master are shadow spells. Jared didn’t know any shadow spells, nor does he know anyone that uses them. It’s something only my family has ever been able to do.
“So wait I’ll only be able to do shadow spells?” I asked confuse.
“No, you don’t understand. Only your family has been able to do shadow spells. However, basic spells for all the other elements can be used by everyone. It’s the more powerful spells you won’t be able to master and control. Each family guards those spells. You can consider it like a checks and balances system to keep each family from becoming too powerful,” explains Jared.
“Oh.”
Jared starts out with creating an orb of light in my hand. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I thought it sounds impossible. I have to keep my eyes open and focus on my hand while drawing out my magic and infusing light into it. Magic is hard.
“Short Stack you’re pathetic. That was barely even a hint of light. How are you going to protect yourself when you are so inadequate? You will rot in this house if you don’t pull it together and get this right,” growls Jared.
I don’t think he can actually yell. I think his voice was damaged at some point. All that happens is his voice got raspier like nails on a chalkboard.
“You know what screw you and screw this. I’m done. I would say thanks for trying, but honestly, I think I would have been better off without you. I wouldn’t have tried t
o belittle me into succeeding. Guess what in no universe does that actually work!” I start to storm off.
“Get back here we aren’t done for the day,” ground out Jared.
I do a very unladylike thing. I show him my middle finger and storm off without looking back. I’m ready to break something.
My feet lead me outside. The frustration hits critical mass. Screaming has always helped me relieve stress, but it doesn’t work this time. I still want to throw stuff. I want to cry. I want my life back. Everyone else seems to be coping with me being a witch just fine, but was I? No, I wasn’t. My life was normal and then some Spook decides to take my normal life away and throw me into this freak show of a mess. It isn’t fair.
7
I stand on the back porch trying to calm down. I see Ash appear from the forest. I watch him get. It’s never a good idea for me to make eye contact when angry, so I avoid looking him in the eye. Also, I’m still freaking out about his eyes glowing the other day.
“You know you won’t be able to do any kind of magic until you get over the mental block you threw up when this started. You have to let go of whatever ideas you had about yourself and the life you should have had,” sighs Ash.
I snort, “Easy for you to say. It isn’t your life that has been turned upside down, inside out, and blown to pieces. I was normal, and everything in my life was normal. Then someone tries to kill me, twice, and that is it. Poof! Normal vanishes like socks in the dryer.”
He chuckles, “Come on. I think I know where you need to go to calm down.”
We walk towards the pond. I have butterflies in my stomach. He’s adorable and made me want to melt into a puddle. No! I am stronger than this and I know where this reaction comes from. Generations of breeding coded my DNA with the need to find a male that can provide for me and my children. He can protect us without even breaking a sweat. I remember the warmth and comfort of his silent strength during our first meeting. Shivers run down my spine.
At the edge of the pond, Ash sits on the ground. He lays down placing his hands behind his head. “So how have you been coping with your new found possibilities?”
Sighing, I plop down next to him. “I don’t think I am. I’m just so angry right now.”
“What are you angry at?”
I pick up a small rock and throw it at the pond. “I don’t know, what do you think I’m most angry about?”
“For starters, I would say that most of the anger is directed at all of your parents and Doc. They did this to you. It was their secret, now it’s affecting you. In your mind, you view being a witch as a negative. There are blessings to it that you haven’t even considered. You are willing to accept other Spooks and the fact that the house will give you essentially whatever you want, but you have yet to accept the fact that you don’t need the house to do it for you. You can magic it up on your own, and it’s scary. Absolute power leads to absolute corruption, and you view magic as absolute power. It isn’t though.”
“What would you know of it?” I cross my arms around my knees and stare at the water.
“Well for starters, there is no spell that can affect me in the slightest. Shifters are immune to magic. It’s something to do with the magic inherent in our abilities to shift. So there is a check against you.”
“Ok.”
“Also, magic can be as addictive as a drug, if you use it for a lot of stupid things then you won’t be able to stop. That’s why there are no cleaning spells and stuff like that.”
“Yeah Jared told me about that.”
“Your own spells can backfire on you, if you aren’t strong enough to cast it. There’s also some kind of balance system between all the families. They check each other making sure that they are being good little witches.”
I roll onto my back and stare up at the moon and stars. “You know my dad would have told me that life isn’t fair, and it wouldn’t have helped. I’ve been silly. I should’ve just accepted my being a witch and moved on with it, but I have just become so fixated on life not being normal, or what I expected normal to be. I’ve been wallowing in my anger and self-pity. I’m not sure I’m ready to let that go.”
Ash chuckles, “You aren’t silly, just human. It’s natural to not want to deal with or accept change. We like our comfort zones and rarely stray from them. I would have wondered about you if you didn’t struggle with this.”
I roll onto my stomach. “Let’s change the subject. Tell me about you and being a lupine.”
“Well, what exactly do you want to know? I mean you already know about the super speed and strength. Plus, there are the heightened senses and dashingly good looks. I’m just not sure how far down the rabbit hole you want to go,” said Ash.
“Oh, are you divided into packs or something? Just tell me whatever to keep my mind off of stuff,” I said as I wave dismissively. I start plucking individual grass blades and watch them grow back.
Ash thinks for a minute, “We are divided into packs. Packs are like a big extended family, though not everyone is blood-related. They’re led by an alpha or the alpha couple if the alpha has found his mate. Their job-”
“Mate? What is that?” I interrupt. “Like is that just a lupine word for a spouse or like how people say certain animals mate for life?”
“I’ll tell you if you can do the last spell that Jared tried to get you to do,” challenges Ash.
I wrinkle my nose up in irritation.
“Come on you can do it. The spell you did instinctively during the fight the other day isn’t easy to do. It isn’t a low-level spell; very few can actually pull it off for as long and as well as you did. Come on what was Jared trying to get you to do before you stormed off?”
“Create light. It’s supposed to be like a ball of light that you hold, like a magical flashlight or lantern I guess.”
Ash pulls himself into a sitting position so fast I miss the transition. I pull myself up and sit across from him.
“You can do it Buttercup. Even if you don’t trust yourself, I do.”
Closing my eyes, completely against Jared’s rules, I concentrate remembering what Jared told me about the spell. You aren’t actually creating light but pulling it from all around you. You then channel it into the magic and have the magic amplify it. Creating things is nearly impossible for most witches. It takes too much of yourself.
I think of the stars and the moon in the sky above me and smile. It makes sense that the moon is my family’s symbol. I have always loved the moon and stars. I hear Ash chuckling and open my eyes. There is a softball-sized orb of light in my hands, and it’s bright. It hurts to look at because it’s so bright. Smiling, I release the light to go scatter around the world.
“You are exceptionally powerful. Your smell has been infused, no, that’s not strong enough, it’s more like saturated almost to the point of being overwhelmed with magic.”
I scrunch my face together. I don’t like the idea of having so much magic.
“Don’t wrinkle your forehead like that. The fact that it bothers you that you have so much power is proof that you are one of the few people I would trust with it. Power doesn’t have to corrupt. With great power comes great responsibility, you will find that balance. I’ll help you if you need it,” Ash sooths as he brushes a stray lock of hair from in front of my face.
I look down at my hands and whisper, “I’m scared. What if I let it get to my head? Or get so used to it that I take it for granted? What if I hurt someone?”
“That’s normal and healthy. You should be scared of all those things. If you weren’t, then they’ll happen. Your parents did a wonderful job of raising you to be compassionate, loyal, and loving,” assures Ash as he tilts my head up to look him in the eyes.
My breath gets stuck in my throat as I look in his eyes. They’re soft and welcoming.
“You are meant for this. You’ve unique qualifications to keep yourself sufficiently distanced from the power. It isn’t something you have worked with or seen since you were a toddle
r. You’re dealing with it and learning to control it as an adult with a clear understanding of the damage you can do, and the desire to avoid that at all costs. Don’t worry so much about the future. Wait until you have your present under control. This fear of yours will only bind you, and you’re meant to fly.”
“Was that a broomstick joke?” I ask smiling. This man has the ability to get me all riled up and calmed down at the same time. My heart was racing, but the butterflies had calmed. Ash’s eyes twinkle with mischief.
“If the hat fits wear it,” laughs Ash.
He’s running his fingers through my hair and staring intently at me. If he had been in wolf form, I would be worried that he is going to eat me. Then again, I probably should be worried about that anyways. I can feel my heart beating faster and instinctively lean into his hand. He leans closer to me.
Fractions away from my lips, he pauses. The wind shifts, and I think I feel the tingle in my brain. I can’t be sure because all that’s going through it is wondering what it would feel like to have his lips on mine.
A quick glance towards his lips changes that feeling. His canines have grown to a dangerous length, and he looks pissed and petrified. I’m unceremoniously picked up and put in a cradle hold as he sprints towards the house. We’re moving so fast I have to close my eyes to avoid getting sick. Something is wrong, incredibly wrong.
As we enter the kitchen, Ash stops. “Where is the safe room?” he demands.
Whispering, “There isn’t one. One has never been needed. The house isn’t supposed to allow anyone here that I don’t permit or something like that.”
I’m fairly certain Ash is swearing but it sounds more like growls. I think he’s very near to going wolf.
“Put me down, please. Don’t argue. You’ll be able to defend me better if your hands are free.”
I need to have my own movements unrestricted. I didn’t intend to let him defend me without some backup.
Jared rushes into the room. “What happened? Dude, I can’t understand you. You need to calm down if you are going to be of any help.”