*****
Getting up from the side of the fountain, I start walking towards the forest side. I could do with some night walking. I turn to the side of the trees and try to look up to the side of the sky. So calm and quiet! Walking through all the rocky patches and stones of the path, I turn to the side of the river flowing there. It is beautiful here. I am about to make it to the side of the gigantic looking rock, when, shattering the silence of the night, I hear something from the nearby. It is…someone gasping and moaning! Is someone hurting somewhere? Straining my hearing, I try to follow the sound and make it to the side of the other rock from where the sounds are coming. From where I am standing, I can see two people entangled together! To get a closer look, I get near to the rock and…blood slows down in my vein. There, from the side of the rock, I see Kay and Ted kissing each other! Lying on the soft sand of the river, they are not exactly having the intercourse but…of course, their mouths are fused together. I can feel my feet getting glued to the floor. My eyes are wide and, I can feel blood draining from my face in a second. “Heart is a main criminal, for love,” Thanatos’s voice is resonating inside my head and I am helplessly watching the first crush of my life kissing my best friend!
****
Before a gasp escapes my mouth, I cover it and turn away from the scene.”What happened?” Kay says and Ted shushes her “There is someone behind the rock. I feel it,” “There is no one,” she replies, “It’s all in your head,” “But,” “Kiss me, already,” she whispers and the voices ends there. Closing my ears, making it safely from the side of the river, I go inside the deeper part of the forest and start running towards the castle, irrespective of the fact, that tears are running down the slopes of my cheeks. Night is long and I want to forget it.
*****
Six months has passed and since that night, I know whenever I see Ted and Kay together, I try hard to look to some other side or try to hide my unease. Exams are round the corner and the stress of it is around, too. In these days, I am always to be found in library or in study room because, that is how I have made the things for myself. I want to keep myself busy, by studies, outings or however. After Ted, I have washed my hands off boys. I don’t need them, anymore. Surprisingly, in these recent months, not once, has Thanatos visited me. To take me out of the stupid studying schedule and make my life a little light, both my guy friends, Ian and Ray, have taken me out to the city side for a day outing. They know that I can never say no to them. Taking leverages over me, both of them pull me up for some sort of horror movie, with lots of blood bath and gore in it. Ian and I are ok, but Ray, turning a total marshmallow, goes to the lavatory and retches out his guts. We both are trying to cool him down, “What,” says Ian, “When you kill some animal, you don’t puke then, do you?” “Shut up,” Ray says and Ian and I burst up in laughter. The entire way, we are making fun of him and he is blushing furiously. Coming to a bar, as each one of us drown bottles of beer down our throat, I start feeling fuzzy. After gulping the fifth down, I finally call it stop for me. Thank fully, we have got the canes out to the car,” I am giggling and laughing for no reason. This is the clear sign that I had enough and I should take no more,” Hey,” Ian pats my head, as three of us are sitting on the cliff of a hard rock, with river water, now and then touching our feet, “Are you ok?” “I am…fine,” I slur and turn to Ray’s side, “Ray, sweetie, you never said anything about your parents? Do tell us,” Ray’s gaze collides with Ian and as if, giving some sort of sign, he says, “I am…well, I lived with my maternal aunt and had no idea, what I was, till, one day, Alan’s letter flew to my house. Aunt was freaked out and had no idea of my reality. Then, I came here, was introduced to my wolf genes. My aunt later told me that my father was one of them,” “that is so sad,” I asked, “You must be missing your aunt,” “No,” he replies automatically, “I don’t,” she pauses, “You see…she never understood me,” “Nobody does,” replies Ian, “Why do you say that sweetie?” I ask and turn to his side. “World is full of people who think…what they do is right, don’t you think?” “Yeah right,” I reply, “Now, when you come up to this age and people don’t realize the worth of your love, I believe, that hurts the most,” I end with a soft and sad sigh, keeping my head on Ian’s shoulder. “Have you loved someone?” Ray asks, as he softly takes my hand in his, “Yes, I did. He loves someone else,” A sniffing sound comes to my hearing and raising my head, I see Ian wiping the tears from his cheeks. He is very sensitive in these matters. “I too, share the same fate,” he says softly and I feel Ray’s grip tightening on my wrist, “What do you mean, Ian? You too, loved someone, didn’t you?” “I still do,” he sniffs and in a gulp, drown the entire bottle down his throat, “The person too, loves me. Never says it, that’s the problem,” “Who is she?” I ask and he shakes his head, not really answering me. “Tris, come here,” says Ray and opens his arms. Crying and laughing at the same time, I fell in my best friend’s arms and feel Ian’s arms and head resting on my other shoulder. “Do we know the boy?” asks both of them at the same time and the answer leaves my mouth in a rush, “Ted, I really did liked him. Ray,” I turn my face to him, “I don’t know…I just did,” “But he,” Ian says, “likes Kay!” says Ray in unison with him and I see both of them passing sympathetic glances at me. The stupid alcohol has let me open in front of those two. “I love you both,” I say and without a warning, I fall back on his shoulders.
*****
Lyn
Night time is perfect and I am spreading my wings, in order to fly. Tris, Ray and Ian have already left for the city today and they are still not back. Kay and Ted are, as usual, out. I am alone. Tris has really came close to those two guys these days and, I grudge her, completely. At least, she has someone. Poor human, she really needs someone along with her. I am ready to go when, a voice from back, stops me, “Lyn sweet,” folding my wings back, letting out the talons back on my fingers, I turn to the voice and instantly amends my situation. It is Ian and Ray, with Tris, on Ray’s shoulder. She looks dead drunk! “We need to have a talk. Can you spare us some minutes of your time?” Seeing her condition, I make it to their side and help them back inside the room. Something is seriously wrong.
*****
Tris
Morning time is the most dreaded time, today, especially. As I slowly make myself eat the hot porridge, after the handover and the head ache of the previous night, my tongue feels too heavy and hard, with a bitter sweet in my mouth. Feels, as if, I am eating saw dust instead of porridge. Ray, Ian and Lyn, are all, silent around me. The person in utter rage and fuming, boiling with it is Lyn, who has changed my night dress and laid me on the bed. Kay, as usual, has not appeared for the breakfast table. I don’t want any kind of scene in front of her, so, after a minute of silence, I keep my spoon down and glare at three of them, “You liked Ted? Why didn’t you tell me everything before?” “’Look Lyn,” I bit my lip, “Let’s not make a scene out of it. I am not in the mood to discuss my past feelings in front of Kay, alright? Please, drop the subject. You two idiots,” I glare at the handsome vampire and cute werewolf, “Was it necessary to tell her everything? Come on, you could have kept something secret. I don’t want to spoil my friendship with Kay. Please, smile all of you and drop the dead, serious face, ““We can’t forget everything so easily,” says Ray, “You should have seen the way you were crying last night. It tore us apart,” “moreover,” Ian says, “Kay has every right…,” “Don’t you dare, idiot,” I growl towards Ian with hidden rage and feel a slight tremor in the table. Wow, can I affect non-living things, too? “Relax,” says Ray, “Don’t get agitated. We were just stating…,” “What?” I say, “To tell Kay everything and let her see my other, stupid side. I am a mortal, alright. Ted doesn’t really like me, ok? It is just my silly fantasy…,” “Good morning,” says Kay, and all of us go silent at her entrance. “Hi,” I smile, “Studying the entire night, were you?” I ask, still smiling and legging the three idiots in front of me to smile and show th
eir cheerful faces. “I was helping Ted,” she says, “He needed some help with the biology portions,” “Oh, really?” says Ian in a sarcastic way and I step on his foot, warning him through eyes. He sighs and smiles, “I mean, wow,” Kay smiles and we go back to our morning meal.
Proceeding to our classes, as both Ian and I discussing on the syllabus of the given portions, we come across a huge crowd in the corridor and the crowd from every other side has been halted. “What’s happening?” Ian says, “Some sort of argument and fight has broken out between some boys and the environment is getting all heated up. “Pet,” says Thanatos, again! I turn and look around, “Where are you?” “Ahead you. Beware of the danger,” he whispers and again, the crowd solves and goes back.
****
As the dance competition is coming near, I can see Kay and team in tension. Everyday’s practice is to be seen in coming more of stress and I am able to see the visible tension in the air. After a month of going through it continuously, finally, we are done with our final papers and I can just see the load of being the best in the air. Kay and Ted, even they are facing some problems among them and then, when one of them do the steps wrong, they break out in some argument every time.
Currently, as the practice gets over and all of them breaks off for the day, I am keeping the all the props and the equipments back in the bag, Lyn says, “You act like their maid servant, every day. Kay is my sister but, even I won’t do this every day for her,” “You are the sister and I, friend,” I shrug, “Makes the difference, doesn’t it?” “Why don’t you dance, too?” asks Ray, “ I told you people,” I shake my head, “I can’t dance,” “You won’t dance,” he says, “Come, let’s try some steps,” Before I can say no, Ray takes me in his arms and straightens up. “Ray,” I gasp, “I don’t…,” “Stop being so stubborn,” he repeats and turns to Lyn, “Turn the music, please. I need to teach this human, a lesson,” smiling and winking at the same time, as the music is played, I start to sway along with him. He does some weird turn-your-arm-and-move-your-head step and I repeat it. He does a break dance step and I try it, too. I succeed in some and fail in others but I can see the satisfaction on his face, as I learn some steps of the art. He tells me to lift my face and as I do that, without our realizing, both of us fell on the floor, with him on top of me. Somewhere in all this, Lyn has left the hall and has gone somewhere else. “Ow,” both of us wince together and he laughs, “That was fun, wasn’t it?” “Sure,” I reply and we laugh, “It was…,” as our laughter recedes and the silence takes over, I feel his gaze on mine as intense as my is on him. Our stares are just like that, when, breaking the thing, we hear someone entering the hall and turning our gazes, we see Ian! As if, someone had told us that soon a bomb will be exploded in the premises, I feel the tension in the air going to the pitch of explosion. Ray and Ian are gazing at each other. As if we both are indulged in lovemaking, Ray immediately untangle himself from me and stand’s up in a hurry. “Hey Ian,” I say smiling, not able to guess the reason behind his frown, “What’s up?” shaking his head, closing the door with a loud snap, he exits the room. “Oh shit,” Ray mutters softly and I keep on glaring at him, trying to understand the reason behind his curse.
*****
Later that night, I am going through one of Donne’s poem, ‘The canonization’ and am trying to understand the theme of it, but unfortunately, I am not getting it. Lyn is not there in the room and even Kay is nowhere to be seen. Thinking about my survivor vampire and werewolf friend, I make it out of the room and starts proceeding to Ray’s room. Taking a look at the corridor’s clock, I am thinking, if I am not disturbing them. Going to the side of the Ray’s room, I knock but no one replies. I knock twice, thrice but again, no reply. Is he sleeping? Maybe…turning the knob of the door slowly, I push the door slightly open inside and then, my eyes go to the bed! I think…I am going to have heart-attack, sooner rather than later. From the corner of where I am standing, I see Ray in Ian’s arms, kissing with such passion that, without even caring that they may hear the thump, I close the door and run to my set of room. O God, I keep a hand on my mouth, Kill me, please!
****
I don’t know what I am really feeling. I can’t put my finger on my mixed emotions. First, Kay and Ted and then…those two! Closing my doors, stepping inside the room, I lie down on the bed and re-think over everything I have seen today. Thank god, no one is there in the room. As the tears go down my cheek and I drink water from my bottle, I am looking out at the window. “I too, share the same fate as you,” Ian had said. How did it never entered my mind that…? When Ted had said that I am like Ray…the missing pieces of puzzle are falling on their places. The tension between both the boys…the way both averted each other gazes in front of me, as if, scared of facing each other. I don’t know, what has really shaken me the most. Kay or the fact that my besties are homos! I think, I am plain shocked. I really should meet Alan, after all.
*****
I am avoiding my friends and in order to do that, at breakfast table, I am busy reading “Pride and Prejudice,” while sipping my orange juice. The unusual silence of the table can be felt by everyone but, Ian and Ray, knowing the fact that I have seen them previous night, are red faced. I am not sure about my feelings. Well, I don’t know, how should I act in front of them? Feeling weird, I close my novel, finish my meal and leave the table. “Shit,” I hear Ian from the back and I hear the two chairs being pushed backwards. I have reached the stairs leading to the main class, when I hear my name being called from back, “Tris wait,” I keep up with my pace and never stop, “Tris,” calls Ray, “Wait for a second, please. We can make you understand,” “leave it,” I hear someone else, too. Ian is pulling Ray to a halt, “Let her go today. She is in no mood to understand,” wiping the core of my eyes; I turn to the corner of my class and make myself comfortable inside the room. Soon, the teacher enters the room and the class starts.
***
The entire day, as I sit at some distance from Ian and Ray, I am already realizing the fact that I am missing them, too. I have, till now, just read about the homosexuals in books, magazines and movies but seeing someone in real life is a totally different thing. Aren’t vampire and werewolf supposed to be enemies? “You watch Hollywood movies too much, pet,” says the cold whisper next to me. Startled and awake from my sad, remorseful thoughts, I turn to that side, “Thanatos!” “How is my pet doing?” there is a satisfaction in that voice of his. Teacher is still teaching and every student is concentrated towards her. “What are you doing here?” I whisper, from the corner of the mouth, so that, she may not see it. “I am here for you, simple,” he says. “It is so strange,” I whisper, “Are you sure, no one can see you?’ “Positive,” he replies and tucks a strand of my hair lock behind my ear. “Just saw you alone,” he says, “I thought, why does my pet looks so sad?” “None of your business,” I blurt out and instantly regret over my choice of words, “I told you,” he says calmly, “Never lose the support of your two friends. Seems like, you didn’t paid much attention to me,” “they should have told me, from the very beginning,” I say and turn to the side, where I see both of them sitting and passing me those sad, guilt ridden looks. “You are offended, just because they did not tell you about their relationship with each other, aren’t you?” “Yes,” I whisper and see a girl in the front to my side, shushing me to silence. She is passing me a queer look, taking me as some sort of insane person. “You should have more trust on your friendship, pet,” he says and I see him caressing the back of my hand. A chill passes down my entire being. His touch is so cold. “When will I see your face?” I ask, “Why do you want to see my face?” he asks in retaliation, “I should know more about my bodyguard, isn’t it?” “You are again trying to deviate from the subject,” he says in offendence. “I don’t want to talk about those two…,” I say, “Who is she talking to?” I hear the girl in front saying to her partner. I chuckle a bit and think about telling her the name of the person sitting next to me.
A cold, soft pair of lips touches against my right side of cheeks and I close my eyes, just to savor the feeling, which this phantom of a god ignites inside me, every time he is with me. “Tris,” I hear Ms. Barth calling my name and there is silence in the class. Every gaze is turned to my side and I open my eyes, shaking the feeling of fuzziness from my head and entire being. “Yes ma’am,” I stand up, “Are you ok? You close your eyes. Are you not feeling well?” “I am…,” I gaze across everyone and then catch Ian and Ray’s gaze, “Um, yes ma’am, I am not feeling well. Head ache is building in my temples…,” I act like some stupid melodramatic queen, “Do you wish to visit infirmary?” “Sure, thank you ma’am,” smiling and a little concerned, she turns to the class, “Who is going to take her to the infirmary?” “Shall we, ma’am?” says Ian and then says, “Ray and I can take her. She looks rather weak and pale. I believe, support of two people will help her…,” “Thank you Ian, honey,” she smiles, “Please, take Tris to the infirmary,” catching the cue, two of them take their bags, come to my side and help me pack mine, too. Supporting me from both sides, as soon as we come out of the corridor, I say, “Ok, drop the act now and follow me to the canteen,” they follow me like some criminal following the cops, all hand cuffed and their heads bowed in guilt of their committed crimes. “Sit,” I say and both of them pull chairs. “Fine,” I say, “I thought, better to come out in clear rather than avoid each other and jeopardize our relationship,” Ian looks at me, biting his lip in the process. I am being merciless and keeps on glaring at both of them with that, tell-me-everything stance. “Tris,” he starts but halts, Ray grasp his hand tightly, giving him enough courage and nodding his head. “We wanted to tell you, everything. When, that first day of the school, I met you, I thought that you will understand us. Particularly, you! Previously…,” “I am not asking you about that…,” I say, “She wants to know everything from the beginning,” Ray intervenes and Ian blushes. “Thank you,” I say and look at Ian, again. “The day, when we entered the premises of Shakti academy, I was struggling to get my bags to my set of rooms and then, this one,” he points at Ray, “Introduced himself to me and,” he halts, “We were attracted in the first instance,” Ray says, “My family had no problem with my being a vampire, Tris,” Ian says, “In fact, all of them are like that. They all have done schooling from Shakti, only. They always took me as a queer sort of person. I was never really interested in girls, although I tried hard and took the thing as the age and hormonal effect,” he halts and take the gulp of the water, “Then, one day, as I saw some guys playing in the football field, I thought, I have never seen such a marvelous sight before. All that sweat and testosterone and sweet smell coming from those human’s side aroused me like nothing. Hiding my inner turmoil, as I discovered my sexual nature, I felt guilty and told my mother everything. She was…astounded, almost dumbstruck,” he halts and shrugs, “I never really give up my nature, could I? Walking inside Shakti, when I thought, that maybe it was just a moment in my life of getting attracted to men, this hottie introduced himself…,” “My being werewolf does complicates the matter, I am aware of it,” says Ray, as I sip the coffee, which we have ordered at our entrance in the canteen. “I mean, naturally, vampires and werewolves don’t really go together, do they?” “Then how?” I start but he raises his hands, halting me in my question, “We will have to fight our families,” says Ray, “We don’t have any other options. They say, vampires can’t stand were wolves smell but…,” he blushes slightly, “But you both can’t resist each other smell, can you?” “I can’t,” Ray says, and Ian goes all beetroot red! God, boys are thawed by each other’s mere presence. “Well,” I say, as I sigh, “I don’t really have problem with you two going together but…,” I struggle to say the words, “But, it is not natural? People make fun of our nature behind our back, is that what you want to say?” Ian asks and I see Ray’s eyes going red with fury. “You know it, already,” I point it out, “We don’t really care,” Ray says, “I don’t care what they say. Just because they are straight doesn’t give them the right to make fun of others, don’t you think?” “Let’s walk, shall we?” I ask and three of us make to the ground, where boys are playing basketball. One of them is Elmer, fighter’s member. “Guys,” I say softly, as I sit with both of them at my sides, “I don’t really mind this relation of yours. I am happy, on the contrary,” I look at them and see them smiling in my direction, “At least, somebody did accept us,” Ian says and I see Ray grasping his hands tighter, “Then where is the problem?” “I just was shocked, at first. I mean, seeing you both like that, when I am unaware of it. It felt, as if, you were cheating on me,” “I am sorry,” Ray hugs me, “Now you know , why the wolves don’t want to include me in their group,” “They are being mean, as usual,” Ian says and kisses Ray lightly on cheeks. I turn my head to the other side and shake my head, trying to make some sense of my life. No one is interested in me, apart from a phantom, who calls himself death! The basket ball comes near to our foot and I hear the boys calling out, “Hey babes, pass the ball,” I pick the thing and is about to give it back, when my locket heats up again. Startled and alarmed, the thing leaves my hand at once. “What happened?” asks Ray, as he sees my hand shaking, “Hey girly,” Elmer calls with his stare to Ray, “Baby, I saw you yesterday kissing the vampire boy. Is it true, then? You both are gay’s aren’t you?” Three of us rise from the benches, as the gang of boys comes to our side, each of them wearing a mean smile on their faces. Of course, now I get the meaning behind Ray’s words. “Mind your words, dog.” Says Ray, and Ian let’s his fangs out in rage. Picking up the ball, I pass it to Elmer. “You should be with us, sweet,” Elmer says and I can sense lecherousness in his voice, “Be with guys not homos,” says Ted, coming out of the group of the boys. I am staring at Ted with wide eyes expression, not believing that he actually said that sentence. He hates Ray so much! I had no idea. Before I can say anything, I hear a feminine calling in outrage, “Ted, that’s it,” in a flash, before I can actually make sense what actually happened, stepping forward, Kay’s palm connects with Ted’s cheeks and there is a crash sound. All are shocked, like me. Every mouth is hanging open like mine. Did Kay actually slapped Ted? Even Ian and Ray, next to me, are staring at each other with bewildered expression and then, looking back at her. “Kay,” I start to say but she raises her hand in resistance way, “Wait a minute, Tris. Just because you are straight and can charm any girl you want, that doesn’t give you the right to actually insult Ian and Ray like that. So what, if they are gay? They are not asking anything from you, are they? Next time, better remember the slap before insulting anyone like this.” Boys from Ted side pull him to the side, “Kay,” I say, “Let’s go,” three of us are pulling her. In all this, I have not realized the fact that yin-yan locket has actually started burning in my throat.
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