I glance at him. “I know.” My heart feels like it’s about to crack wide open.
Maybe his dad is right.
Maybe I’m just in the way.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Brody
I grab Natalie’s fingers as we leave campus and head to my truck parked nearby in a lot by Campbell Hall.
“Are you hungry?” I ask. “Want to grab something to eat?” I’m always starving. Between two-a-days practice on the ice and lifting in the gym, I burn through calories. I may not be eating the crazy amount that Michael Phelps does when he’s training, but it’s not that far off either.
When she doesn’t answer, I glance over and squeeze her fingers. “Natalie?” She seems lost in her own world lately. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something weighing on her mind that she’s not telling me about.
As soon as I say her name, she jolts to attention. “Sorry.” She gives me an apologetic smile that barely lifts her lips. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Do you want to grab lunch?” I glance at my phone. “We’ve got time to hit La Fuente.”
“Oh.” She shakes her head. “I’m not really hungry. But we can go if you want.”
I know how much she loves that place, so I’m a little surprised she isn’t jumping at the chance to go. I jerk my shoulders. “Nah, I’ll just grab something at your place. It’s not a big deal.”
“Okay.” She smiles again, but it’s distracted. Like she’s not fully here with me, and I hate it.
Once we reach the truck, I open the passenger side door and she slides in. I hustle around to the other side. As I start the engine and pull out of the parking lot, I glance over at Natalie. She’s staring out the side window. Even though her face is tilted away from me, I’m able to glimpse the sadness in her eyes.
“Hey.” I reach over and slip her hand into mine. I love touching her. I’m addicted to the constant contact and the connection between us. “What’s going on?” I ask because it’s obvious that something’s bothering her.
She stares down at our clasped hands for a beat before raising her eyes to mine. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind with school.”
I nod, understanding the pressure she’s under. I feel it myself. Senior year is stressful, and I know Natalie isn’t sure where she’ll end up or who she’ll be working for. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She shrugs and says, “Not really. It won’t help.”
Her odd response makes my brows tug together. I pull up in front of her apartment building and cut the engine. Even though it’s the last thing I want, I ask, “Do you need some time to yourself? Would that help?” Maybe I’m crowding her. All this relationship stuff is new to me. I’m trying to figure it out as I go and strike a happy balance.
Natalie isn’t one of those clingy girls who wants to glom on to you and never let go. That’s one of the things I like about her. So, the last thing I want is for her to feel like I’m doing the same thing. Although, if I had my way, I’d be with her all the time. When we’re together, I feel like I can finally breathe. Like I can be myself. She’s one of the few people who see me for who I really am.
I don’t want to lose that. So, if she needs me to back off a little, I will. I may not want to, but I’ll do it anyway.
Natalie shakes her head, and I release the pent-up breath that has become trapped in my lungs.
Thank fuck.
I don’t want to leave her. The time we spend together is precious.
A few minutes later, she opens the door to her apartment. Since we’re greeted by silence, I’m guessing that Zara is at class or out with Luke. Now, those two are attached at the hip. Although, it’s not like I can give Luke shit about it. Not when I feel much the same way.
Natalie sets her bag down on the kitchen table. I’m not sure how to play this. Do I push for more information or do I back off and pretend everything is normal?
Before I can make a decision, she wraps her arms around me and squeezes tight. I hold her against my body, and somehow her grip becomes even more constricting. This is the kind of hug you give someone at the airport before they leave the continent for a year.
I shake off the weird feeling that settles over me and laugh. “Hey, what’s going on?”
She tips her head back and smiles. But again, there’s something off about it. Almost as if the edges are tinged with sadness. I’m not sure what to make of it. If there’s a problem, I wish she’d just put it out there. I’d much rather deal with an issue head-on than get blindsided by it down the road.
Instead of answering, she steps out of my embrace and pulls me toward the bedroom. Her eyes stay fastened to mine as she pushes me onto the bed and pulls at my shirt. Once that has been thrown to the floor, she starts on the button of my khakis.
Even though I love where this is headed, I lay my hand over her fingers, stilling their frantic movement. “Natalie?”
Her eyes lift.
“What’s going on?” I rack my brain for an answer since she seems unwilling to give me one. “Did something happen with your dad?” I’m grasping at straws here. I need her to throw me a lifeline.
She shakes her head. “Everything’s fine. I just want to be with you.”
Whatever she’s selling, I’m not buying. My gut tells me something’s up, but I have no idea what. It’s starting to drive me crazy.
Flicking open the button, she slides the zipper down until she can slip her hand inside my boxers.
All right…if she’s trying to distract me from asking any more questions, she’s doing a damn fine job of it. As soon as she wraps her fingers around me, I groan and recline against the bed, resting on my elbows to give her greater access.
She pumps my cock, sliding her hand up and down the shaft. It doesn’t take much to get me going. Christ. All Natalie has to do is look at me, and I pop a boner. The chemistry we have is undeniable, but there’s so much more between us.
I hiss out a breath when she takes me in her mouth. Her tongue swirls around the tip of my erection before she draws me in further. Even though I want to lay back and enjoy this, I force my eyes to stay open. There’s nothing hotter than watching Natalie on her knees, lips wrapped around my dick, sucking me deep inside the warm haven of her mouth.
Fuck. I’m not going to last long.
Which bites, because I want this moment to last for-e-ver. Actually, I’d settle for five more minutes of this heaven, but that’s not going to happen.
Two is pushing it. She has a choke hold on my cock as she slides her fingers up and down in the same rhythm as her mouth. When her other hand comes up to cup and play with my balls, I know I’m going to explode.
I’ve never come in Natalie’s mouth. I’m more than aware that some girls don’t like it. And I never wanted to make her feel like it was an expectation.
“Natalie,” I groan, trying to pull her off me. “I’m going to come.”
She opens lust-filled eyes and pops my cock out of her mouth. I hiss out a breath as the cool air of the room hits my sensitive flesh.
“I want you in my mouth,” she murmurs.
Then she’s back on me, sucking me down even further.
Fuuuuuuck.
I thread my fingers through the long strands of her hair and watch as she moves up and down my shaft. When she reaches the tip, she laps the slit before taking my length into her mouth again. The further she draws me in, the harder it becomes to remain in control.
The hand cupping my sac squeezes tight as her gaze locks on mine. An orgasm stirs in my balls, and I gently piston my hips.
And then I come.
Long and hard.
I can’t rip my eyes away from Natalie as she continues pulling on my cock. Coming in her mouth…I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything sexier. My orgasm lasts for what feels like days. Not once does she let up. Even when I collapse on my elbows, she’s still there, milking every last drop from my softening dick.
Unable to stand another moment, I gr
ab her under the arms and haul her against me as I lie back on the bed. I hold her, never wanting to let go. “Fuck baby, that was good.”
A smile curves her lips as I kiss her, thrusting my tongue inside her mouth before rolling her over. Goddamn, but I love the feel of her body beneath mine.
“Turnabout is only fair play, right?” I growl.
She chuckles. “I sincerely hope so.”
I sit up and practically shred the clothing from her body until she’s naked. I can’t help but sit back and admire just how beautiful Natalie is. We’re talking absolute perfection.
With all this post-orgasmic satisfaction pumping through my veins, I’m tempted to tell her how I feel, but I’m afraid she’s not ready to hear it. Maybe it’s too soon. I don’t want to spook her. Instead of giving voice to the words bubbling beneath the surface, I show her with my hands and mouth, wanting her to feel revered.
Moving down her body, I kiss her breasts, ribcage, and belly. Then I work my way back up until I can suck one pebbled nipple into my mouth. When she arches her back and writhes beneath me, I switch sides and suckle greedily from the other tight bud. She moans and plows her fingers through my hair, raking her nails against my scalp. The pleasure-pain of it feels good.
Everything we do feels amazing.
It feels right. Like I’ve finally found the one person who makes me feel whole. The one who sees me for the guy I am and accepts me, faults and all.
“Brody…”
The way she moans my name is music to my ears.
I pop her diamond-hard tip out of my mouth and gently press a kiss where her heart lies between her breasts before licking a hot trail down to her pelvic bone. Again, I feather soft sweet kisses on her inner thighs and lower abdomen.
“Brody, please…” she moans again.
Natalie spreads her thighs in invitation. It’s all I can do to resist delving straight into that sweet pussy of hers. I want to. God, do I. But I want to drive her just as crazy as she makes me. I want her to realize that I’m the only one who can make her feel this way. I want her just as addicted to me as I am to her.
Is that even possible?
I have no idea. But I’m going to damn well try.
Moving between her parted thighs, I pick up one long, lean leg and gently nip at her calf before raining kisses all over her thighs. Then I do the same to the other until I reach the vee between her legs. I gently bite her mons, and she thrusts herself against me. My tongue swipes along her cleft before tracing lazy circles around her clit.
She moans as I back away, moving instead to the delicate skin of her inner thighs. My tongue dances along her outer lips, which have plumped with arousal. I pull back and stare at her pussy.
It’s so fucking gorgeous. Pink, soft, and creamy. I could lose myself in the silky heat of her body.
“Brody, please…Stop teasing,” Natalie says with a pout.
“I’m never going to stop teasing, baby,” I mutter, glancing up at her.
And then I make slow love to her with my lips and tongue, relentlessly pushing her toward climax until she screams my name over and over.
It’s the best fucking feeling in the world.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Brody
Something’s up with Natalie.
She’s been acting weird for a couple of days, and when I ask her what’s wrong, she smiles and tells me everything is fine. But it’s not. Far from it.
How can I fix the problem if she won’t even admit there is one?
How much freaking sense does that make? What? Does she think I’m a mind reader?
Well, I’m not.
This is the first relationship I’ve ever been in. I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m like a blind man stumbling around in the dark…
All right, maybe that doesn’t make sense, but you get the picture.
Feeling desperate, I go to the only person who might be able to offer some half-decent advice. I sure as hell can’t ask Sawyer or Cooper. Those two are the guys you hit up if you’ve got questions regarding orgy etiquette.
Because, yeah, apparently that’s a thing.
I rap my knuckles on Luke’s door before pushing it open. “Hey, you got a minute?”
He pulls a T-shirt over his head, looking like he just got out of the shower. “Sure, what’s up?”
Now that I’m here, I’m not quite sure how to delve into this conversation without sounding like a complete pussy. Shifting from one foot to the other, I scratch my chin, stalling for time.
Is it too late to back out the door and pretend this never happened?
Fuck. This is really uncomfortable. I didn’t realize I would feel like such a horse’s ass while asking a friend for relationship advice. It’s not like I have a ton of friends who know what the hell they’re doing when it comes to the opposite sex.
Okay, let me rephrase that. I have a ton of friends who know what they’re doing when it comes to the ladies. I do not, however, have a lot of friends who know what to do in girlfriend situations.
Let’s face it, my closest friends are hockey players. And most of these guys aren’t in monogamous relationships. They’d much rather play the field and hook up whenever the urge strikes them.
Been there and done that.
It’s completely understandable.
But that’s not where I am anymore. And I don’t want to fuck things up with Natalie. I like her way too much for that. So, I guess if that means I have to stand here feeling like a complete asshole, then that’s what I’m going to do.
Luke is the only guy I know who has a couple of relationships under his belt. Which means he’s the most knowledgeable one to seek out advice from. Right?
Quite frankly, it’s slim pickings.
It’s either Luke or Jack Schiff, our goalie, and I think Jack has a few screws loose. Unfortunately, that seems to be a requirement to be a decent goaltender. Who else would be crazy enough to stand there and get pelted with pucks by guys who have a ninety-five-mile-per-hour slapshot?
Exactly.
Plus, his girlfriend is just as loco as he is. Yeah, they’ve been together for two years. But they’ve also had the cops called on them twice for domestic disturbances because when that girl loses her shit, she goes nuclear.
Luke is my safest bet.
“Um…” I mutter.
When I continue standing there, saying nothing, Luke cocks his head and stares at me with growing interest. “What’s up?”
I shake my head and drag my fingers through my hair. Spitting out the words is so much harder than I thought it would be.
He laughs. “Brody?”
“You’re the only one I can come to about this, okay?” I lower my voice and shut the door. “And I don’t want to hear any shit about it afterward, got it?”
Looking mildly baffled, but still highly amused, he says, “Um, all right.”
“It’s about Natalie.”
“Shit.” His amusement fades. “Have you fucked it up already? ’Cause there’s a pool saying this won’t last more than six weeks.”
“I haven’t done anything.” Well, I don’t think I have. See, that’s the problem. I have no idea if I’ve done something or not. I draw myself up to my full height and frown. “Wait a minute…A pool?” My brows lower as I narrow my eyes. “What’d you bet?”
He looks sheepish. “Three weeks. Already lost my money.”
I roll my eyes. “Seriously, dude?”
He shrugs. “What do you want me to say? You’ve always been a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of guy. Didn’t you have some sort of schematic for sleeping with the same girl twice?”
It was three times in six months.
But, fine…I see where he’s coming from.
“Can we please stay focused?” I snap.
“Sure.” He shrugs. “What’s going on with Natalie?”
I shake my head and plow my fingers through my hair for the second time in as many minutes. “I don’t know. She’s acting weird. Every ti
me I ask her what the deal is, she brushes me off and says everything’s fine. But it doesn’t seem fine. You know?” I search his face for understanding.
Luke takes a seat at his desk and spins the chair around to face me as I plunk down on the bed across from him.
“Maybe there really is nothing going on with her.” He leans forward, his elbows balancing on his knees. “Maybe you’re reading into something that’s just not there.”
At this point, anything’s possible. But my gut tells me something’s up. “I don’t know. She just seems more distant lately. Sometimes I catch her staring at me, and she’s got this look in her eyes. I keep waiting for her to drop a bomb, but she hasn’t.” And it’s killing me. Every time it happens I find myself holding my breath and waiting.
We’re both silent for a moment before he suggests, “Why don’t you take her out for dinner—or better yet—cook something nice for her.” He points a finger at me. “That shows effort and chicks love that. Get a bottle of wine, and then you can talk.”
Hmmm.
That’s actually not a bad idea.
I want Natalie to understand that even though I’ve been a player in the past, I’m not one now. She can trust me. I want this to work between us. I’m in it for the long haul.
I think Luke might be onto something here.
I nod. “All right, I’m going to do it.”
“Just let me know when and I’ll make sure Zara and I steer clear of the apartment. You’ll have the place all to yourself.”
I nod and hold out my hand for a fist bump. “Thanks man. I appreciate it.”
“Anytime.”
Just as I come to my feet, Luke says, “Natalie’s been good for you. Don’t fuck this up.”
I nod. He’s right. Natalie has been good for me. And the last thing I want to do is mess up and lose her.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Brody
I pour two glasses of wine and light the candle in the middle of the table in the dining area. A bouquet of wildflowers shoved in a vase that I picked up at the grocery store while I was out shopping for dinner sits next to the flickering flame.
Hate to Love You Page 24