“Honey, forgive an old woman for prying, but as great as your job is, and as much as I know you earn, you can’t be doing too well on the finances. That boy’s school costs more’n my house did—even after we mortgaged it to pay for Doug’s college tuition, and all them extra stuff he does at school. And then we haven’t even started on your rent, my pay, or the grocery bill.”
True. Though I hate to say it, that is totally true. It’s only the tenth of the month and I have six hundred dollars left in the bank, groceries to buy, and a field trip to pay for.
Every month gets worse, and I haven’t even started on the college fund I know Cody is going to need in a few years. At this rate, I’ll have to sell an organ to ensure things stay on track.
“I’ll manage, Jude. I always do.”
“Damn shame his papa ain’t here to help out. I sure do regret never meeting the boy; he sounds like a real catch. Must have been a looker if Cody’s anything to go by.”
I shrug, feeling the familiar tightening in my limbs at the thought of his father. And then also at the reminder that I lost my best friend before he was even a real role model to Cody.
If Brody were here right now, I know he’d have my back with Cody and all the extra expenses that raising a gifted child entails.
I could always…
No, I would never do that to myself, or Cody. The truth is that even if I were forced to work a second job, I would never go that route. Lawson James is not a good bet, I know that already, and letting that douche into my life is not a good idea.
In fact, if I didn’t need this job so badly right now, I would leave and start over somewhere else. All I can do now is hope for the best and just try to keep my personal life as separate from the office as possible.
Because if Law ever found out that Cody is his, I’m not sure what the guy would do, and that is not a risk I am willing to take.
“Cody’s dad is history.”
Chapter Four
“Fine.”
I’m being short and plain rude, I know, but I’ve managed to go a whole week with only phone and email conversations between Lawson and myself, and now the stupid idiot has me pinned and cornered, and I don’t like the feeling.
“Nic, I need you to understand. This is not about anything else but the fact that I just don’t think Smith is a good bet.”
Lawson is seated behind his massive desk, king of the hill, surveying his empire, a freaking empire I helped build, while I’m left sitting in the naughty chair, feeling like total crap.
I’ve worked on this Smith deal for six months and tied up every loose string I could find. I literally did all the legwork on this deal and was this fucking close to landing it before the Prince waltzed back into the office and started swinging his dick around.
Now I’m being forced to can my own deal, and what’s more, the guy seems to not even care that it will take another half a year to put together something else to handle James’ real estate dealings.
The words unfair and spoiled flit through my head with every breath of my shriveling lungs.
“Fine, Lawson. You’re the boss, you call the shots. At least let me set up something for Mr. Smith. This buy out would have been his retirement, and he and his wife were planning to move down South to be with their son.”
Law sighs heavily at the censure in my voice. Yes, I am pissed off and unable to mask it—no matter how much I try.
“I’ll get on that myself. Now let’s go through that merger with Fox.”
My own sigh rumbles forth, and I can’t help but grimace. It is something I know he sees and probably agrees with, though how he can is beyond me. The man is a playboy, a hard-partying douche, but he seems to have a good handle on what’s going on with the business.
“I spoke to Jack about that merger till I was blue in the freaking face. I know he and Eli Fox are good friends, and that he was bound and determined to save the man’s company, but hell, I just don’t see buying up a string of almost-bankrupt boutiques as a good investment for us. There was nothing wrong with their marketing, or the way the business was run, so I can only surmise that no amount of work can help the situation, but Jack didn’t agree.”
“And neither do I,” he says, surprising the heck out of me.
Oh great, yet another thing that mister smarty-pants doesn’t agree with. At this rate, I’ll be out of a job before the month is up, and considering the huge ulcer eating its way through my gut every time I do so much as think about my bank balance, I’m pretty sure the thing is a second from exploding and killing me.
“Okay then, let’s hear it.”
Law pushes back from his desk and reclines in his seat, his blue eyes holding and catching mine.
“I read the report you gave Dad about the liners and the fact that despite tourist numbers being up, we seem to only be scratching the surface. I agree that we should do something to get the cruise goers to spend more money. That’s why I’m taking the Fox boutiques to that side and setting them up on the liners.”
I say nothing because I’m—quite frankly—speechless.
“I think it will boost revenue and—to be honest—it’s the only way I see that we won’t be dragged down by that mess. Dad’s already signed the deal, so we can’t turn back now. We need to make the best of this situation. Blair Fox will, of course, stay on as acting CEO, and he’ll run the three land stores as well. All I need from you is a decent buyer to keep the stores stocked well, and well…” He pauses, and I’m not quite sure I feel comfortable with the way he’s looking at me.
I shift in my seat, very aware of the fact that I’m wearing a form-fitting dress that shows as much skin on top as it hides with its below-the-knee length.
Why I’d even given a damn is beyond me, but the longer he continues to stare at me, the more I squirm, especially when I feel a distinct tingle set up shop between my legs and the beading of my nipples.
Worse, though I’d denied it all through the morning and even through to lunch, I put this dress on this morning because I’d wanted to look good for him. It was my own little nose-thumbing move to say “See what you’re missing out on A-hole.”
“Lawson.”
He snaps out of his perusal and smirks at me, his wide smile and even wider eyes pretending an innocence I doubt he had even at birth.
“Ah, yeah. I need you to pack a bag and get your passport ready. We’re flying out to Greece. You and I will personally oversee the first phase of getting the stores up and running. We’ll do the first one ourselves, as a template for whomever we bring on to get things ready on the other ships.” He finishes, already shuffling papers around in a dismissive way, as if to say that everything’s handled.
Well, it isn’t!
No way can I go on a cruise with this man. No freaking way can I spend—!
“Uh, that’s not possible. We’re in the middle of—”
“Jared and his team are ready and willing to hold down the fort here, and I’ve handed the Kleinman deal over to Rob to finalize. As of this afternoon, you and I officially have our plates cleared. Pack a bag, we’re going to Greece.”
Goddammit!
I feel myself tensing even as he rises to grab a drink, and I know, shit, I just know, that I have no other alternative here. I have to bring up my son because I have no other way to weasel out of this.
Closing my eyes for a beat, I allow myself a deep breath before facing him on shaky legs.
“Lawson, I can’t just leave at the drop of a hat,” I croak, feeling my palms sweat and the telltale tingle of a panic attack rearing its ugly head.
I haven’t had one in years, ten years to be exact, but I know the signs, and God help me, it takes every scrap of self-control I have to breathe through this and force air into my lungs.
I will not break down in front of Lawson James, never again. I still remember with crystal clarity the look of annoyance on his face the day we broke up—and I had an episode.
When he’d just turned and strode awa
y, leaving me a sweating, hyperventilating mess, I swore never to let myself feel that way again.
But this…I hate having to even mention my son to this man and hate even more that even the thought of it makes me want to start going crazy.
Lawson, being the astute pig that he is, simply breezes past me with his bottle of chilled water—(no thanks, I’m good, thanks for offering, dickhead)—and lowers himself back behind his desk.
“I don’t think you understand how important this is, Nic. We need to get this going before the losses make an impact.”
Gah! I hate that he’s right.
“Go yourself. Take Jared with you,” I say, hating the pleading tone of my voice.
Please, please, please just give me a break here, I say silently, my eyes rolling heavenward. I have so much on my plate right now. I have a meeting with my bank manager about a loan, something I need as desperately as a drowning man needs a life jacket, Cody has a school project that we haven’t finished yet, and I have no one to care for Cody.
Jude is great, but the old bat is in no way one hundred percent ready for Cody all the time. He tuckers her out the five hours she has him in the afternoon. Twenty-four hours with the kid will have her running for dear life.
“No. You’re my VP; I want you there to oversee operations,” he says breezily, actually flicking his fingers at me in a dismissive fashion.
“Law—”
“This is non-negotiable, Nic,” he barks, finally losing patience.
I allow myself a brief look at him and swallow when I meet his determined, resolute blue eyes. He won’t take no for an answer unless…
“I can’t just leave, Law. I have a son to look after and—”
That seems to piss him off for some reason, and I take a hasty step back when he jumps to his feet, his hard gaze pinning me to the spot.
“You have a child?”
The words are a growled mess of what sounds like anger, and my first impulse is to slap his face. How dare he sound upset! As if my kid is an inconvenience to him.
“Yes, I do, and I cannot just drop everything at home and fly to Greece. I have commitments, not to mention that I have a very important meeting the day after tomorrow.”
He takes a deep breath, my tone forcing him to take a step back from his dominant attitude, and I feel the knot release in my chest.
“Doesn’t he have a father to take care of him?”
That question sends grief crashing through me, and I nod, not trusting my voice. If Bro were here right now, I’d be a whole lot better off than almost broke and trying to juggle a full-time job and a full-time kid.
“No.”
“But you’re married?” he presses again, forcing me to breathe deeper before answering.
“I was. My husband passed away.”
Lawson sighs a deep sound of regret, and I see his eyes soften a little. Not enough to make me see him as human, but still, it gives me hope that he’s compassionate enough to understand my needs.
I give two hundred percent of myself to my job as it is, I can’t let him take utter control of my personal life, too.
“I’m sorry, Nic. Being a single mother must be hard on you.”
“It’s fine. So you see—”
“I’ll call Mom. She loves kids and that will free up enough of your time. This way you can bet—”
“No.”
Oh God! If Minnie or Law see Cody, there’s no way they’ll fail to see that he’s theirs. So far I’ve managed to keep it in the dark—with only Jack knowing—and then only because the infernal man showed up at the hospital, took one look at Cody, and knew.
The James men have very strong genes, and Cody is no different. With his blue eyes and golden hair, not to mention the nose that is a mini-replica of Lawson’s…
“Hey Mom. Yeah, I need a favor. Nic and I have to fly to Greece…”
I actually dive at him and go for the phone, my heart beating so desperately I can feel nothing but the rush of blood and the constriction of my lungs.
He fends me off all too easily, of course, his free arm coming around my waist and effectively pinning me to his front.
“Yeah. Thanks, Mom. We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning. Sure I’ll tell her.”
When the call ends, I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown, not only because this is a disaster, but because now that he’s taken my every choice, I have no escape.
And I’ll miss that meeting with my bank manager.
The thought of going through another month without a safety net makes me so weak I just about collapse on his chest when my knees threaten to buckle.
“Nic? You okay, babe?”
No…I am so far from okay that it’s not even funny.
“Oh shit, hey, here.”
I find myself lying on the sofa with a cold bottle of water pressed to my face before the trembling stops and I get myself under control. Lawson is leaning over me, his expression grave and all too kind at a time like this.
“You still get attacks?”
“Not in ten years,” I croak, instantly regretting the words when his face shutters and he looks away, blowing out a breath. “Uh, let me up.”
“No. You’re too pale.”
“I’m fine.”
“Nic.”
“Will you just fucking back off! I said I’m fine. I need to go home and make arrangements.”
Son of a bitch, bastard, bossy ass!
Lawson backs away, hands raised in defense, and I rise, locking my knees.
“That meeting?” he asks, changing the subject when all I do is scowl at him. “Tell me what it is and I’ll get Jared to handle it.”
“It’s personal.”
I walk out before he can pry because make no mistake, he’s about to, I can see it when his lips open.
“Don’t forget your bikini!”
I don’t even glorify that with a response, making sure to remind myself to pack my ugliest, granny, one-piece swimsuit and a lime green wrap that’ll make his freaking eyes water.
Chapter Five
Law
I feel like ten shades of shit when Nic stalks out of my office, her back ramrod straight and so stiff I imagine a good breath would knock her right over.
Those panic attacks, Jesus, I remember the last time she had one of those and just the recollection of why, of the way I’d forced myself to ignore it and walk away…
I feel the shame I’ve never quite managed to escape wash over me and force myself to push it back, lest I do something stupid like apologize. While I’m not the same idiot I was back then and apologies come easier—growing up will do that to a guy—I doubt she’ll accept anything I have to say now.
Ten years too fucking late and a boatload of regrets that I somehow managed to put a Band-Aid on by chasing tail and drinking till my liver hurt.
Now I doubt she’d so much as spit on me. Yeah, I see the anger and resentment there, and even worse, I see nothing of the old Nic. Once upon a time I fell hard for a quirky girl who had the IQ of Einstein and the guts to take one look at me and offer herself as a virgin sacrifice.
Nic and I were hot and heavy for almost two years before I pulled a runner on her and my family. And God, the heat level is still there, for me at least, even ten years later.
Too bad she’s no longer the doe-eyed innocent I remember. No, this woman probably brushes her hair and teeth on a schedule, whereas my Nic needed to program reminders into her phone to remember to brush her hair.
This woman is a widow, with a child, and a hard exterior that I’m dying to break through. Because make no mistake, I’m getting into those panties—one way or another.
I just need to decide if I want a quick fix, one and done visit, or if I want it all.
Right now I’m leaning towards all. Ten years of comparing every woman I fuck to the girl I broke is more than long enough for me to realize that I can’t escape this need I have for her.
So yeah. All. I want it all.
And I’ll ev
en raise another man’s child—if that’s what it takes.
I’m no good with kids though, so we’ll have to see how that turns out, but I’m not worried. What I can’t give a kid will be more than made up for by my parents and a well-placed nanny.
“Trish. Get me Cristo on the line.”
As I wait for my secretary to get the call through, I ponder the fact that Nic got married and had a kid with another guy. For some reason, I hate the thought of another man touching my girl, and even worse, I think I resent that kid for growing in her when all I can think about is what she would look like with my seed taking hold in her body.
Arrogant I know, but I have always seen Nicolette as my girl, and even worse, I think part of me expected her to still be waiting for my grand return.
Worse yet, even if it makes me a complete dick to say this, I had this picture in my mind of my dorky little lady saving herself and her uterus for me. Damn straight I’m pissed off to know that some other dick planted his shit in her and made a kid.
It’s a constant reminder of the fact that I made a huge mistake, one I realized almost immediately but was too prideful to fix. If I had, I would have been back between her thighs, planting her full of my babies less than two weeks after I walked out.
No time for regrets though, because there’s nothing I can do to change the fact that I am not a “first” in her life as I used to be. No, that honor goes to the fool she married and gave a son to.
My own fault, and yet I can’t stop myself from feeling resentful and angry, and God help me, bitter about an innocent little boy.
“Mr. Cristo on the line for you, sir.”
“Dmitri.”
“Law. What can I do for Europe’s most prolific skirt chaser?”
He’s chuckling, but the words leave a bad taste in my mouth because I’m pretty sure that if someone I call a friend sees me as some shallow asshole whose only goal is to chase women and party, then my parents and Nic see me that way, too.
“I need a complete dossier on Nicolette Sharp. You have two days and then I want it. I’ll be flying out to Greece and then taking a chopper to the Zeus.”
LUCI (The Naughty Ones Book 2) Page 67