by J Marie
As more time passed, I started to lose track of time, but it became apparent to me that I had been under Darren’s captivity for about a month now. His actions and reactions became more and more predictable, and I was able to avoid setting off any of his triggers for almost an entire week just to see if I could. But after a couple of days, I could tell Darren was itching to fight with me again and would intentionally push my buttons until I snapped at him enough to warrant a punishment. Ignoring him never worked because then he’d just punish me for not paying attention to him. I could never win against his twisted logic, and it was extremely frustrating. And then it dawned on me that I wasn’t just here for his pleasure; I was here for his amusement.
Some days, I would seriously find myself pacing back and forth in my room when I knew Darren would be home soon. I was like a loyal dog in a cage waiting anxiously for its owner to return home so they could love them. I felt so attention deprived when he was gone that I feared I would start acting out just so someone would notice me.
As a normal human being, I was craving a connection with someone, anyone, but Darren was the only one available to me, and I hated him. So naturally, I looked forward to him coming home and letting me out of my cage.
Sleep was also hard to come by. I barely slept a couple of hours at a time, waking in the middle of the night covered in sweat and sometimes screaming my lungs out. I had constant nightmares, and the stress of my situation made it difficult to fall asleep. I was allowed to sleep in my room during the week, but when the weekends came, Darren kept me in his bed.
Eventually, I came to notice he would never fall asleep until I had, probably not trusting me to be awake while he slept. But then ultimately the nightmares would come and I’d wake him up. He’d always comfort me back to sleep, pulling me against his chest while he rubbed my back and played with my hair. It usually worked, and I found it strange that Darren could chase away my nightmares while still being the cause of them. Unfortunately, it quickly became clear the only time I ever slept fully through the night was when Darren fucked me into complete exhaustion. My body couldn’t help but need a full eight hours of rest to recover from that kind of exertion.
At first, Darren’s touch had disgusted me, and I made sure he knew how much I hated him as often as possible, but it never deterred him. Sometimes, he’d get annoyed with me, and other times, he’d make me take back my words until I apologized and learned to respect him. But I kept up my stubborn fight. I refused to break, but goddamn if he didn’t bend me, and most of the time, it was either over his knee or over the side of the bed.
Some days were worse than others, and those days were usually the ones where Darren didn’t come home until the late hours of the night. I’d spend all day in my room, have dinner alone, and sometimes cry myself to sleep from desperate loneliness. I missed Jason like my heart missed its other half. It was so confusing and destructive when some days I longed for Darren’s attention, but then when I finally had it, I hated it that much more. Maybe I just hated it because I wanted it … needed it. He was fucking ruining me, and I was falling for it. Isolation was the cruelest mind fuck imaginable, especially since most days I would just lie on my bed staring up at the ceiling, trying so hard not to think about all the things I missed in my life.
There were days when Darren would come home and I’d be in the worst mood imaginable—angry at him for leaving me in my room all day, for taking away my freedom, for making me want him … and then I’d just attack him. I’d finally give in to my built-up rage, wanting him to know exactly how pissed off I was and that I wasn’t afraid of him. Of course, that was a lie. I was terrified of him and the things he could do, but some days my brain didn’t give a flying fuck.
There was one day, a particularly bad day, where I knew we were going to fight. I had slept like shit that night, constantly waking every two hours from the relentless nightmares of never seeing my family again. I was snobby at breakfast and earned myself ten strikes on the ass over Darren’s knee for acting like a “brat.” I had stewed for the entire day in my room, my adrenaline racing while anger flooded my veins like a disease, and I needed an outlet.
I had even refused to allow my Russian friends to enter my room for my appointment. I threatened to harm them or even myself if they came in. I felt bad for scaring them away, but I had to get my point across to Darren. I was sure he knew I would never hurt them, but they certainly didn’t know that and they weren’t sticking around to call my bluff. By the time they left, I was this close to throwing my fist through the wall, but I needed to save my knuckles for later. So instead, I plotted.
Darren wasn’t coming home until the late evening that day, so yet again, I had spent the entire day in my room. I was beyond pissed, so I slathered my wrists, ankles, and neck in Vaseline, put my hair up in a tight ponytail, and made sure my Nikes were on.
When Darren came through my bedroom door, I didn’t even think, I just grabbed the first thing nearest to me, which happened to be a heavy candle and threw it right at his head. But with the reflexes he had, he’d caught it easily before it hit him, sighing as he gave me that look that made me quiver inside; the look that told me I was getting fucked. Hard.
“I’m not in the mood for this tonight, Jaden. I’ve had a very long day, and now isn’t a good time to test my patience,” he warned, holding the candle up for me to see.
“Well, I’m not in the mood to be locked away in my room all day like some goddamn modern day Rapunzel.”
He sighed heavily at me, slightly shaking his head. “Now, is that any way to greet me?”
“Pfft, it’s certainly not even close to what you deserve,” I replied bitterly.
He sighed again, setting the candle down on my nightstand while barely taking his eyes off me. I glared back at him in return, watching him as he took small slow steps toward me.
“Clearly somebody wants to fight.” He practically tsked at me.
“When do I not want to fight?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I can think of a few times.” He smiled at me sickeningly, taking another step forward.
“Well, now isn’t one of them.”
He sharply exhaled through his nose, stopping several feet in front of me. “Why do you do this to yourself? You make things so much harder than they have to be.”
“I could ask you the same question.” I glared. “You could make your life a hell of a lot easier by just letting me go.”
“Now, why would I do that when we’re both clearly having so much fun?”
I raised an eyebrow at him. “You have a very twisted idea of fun.”
“Oh? And what’s your idea of fun?”
“Bashing your face in while you choke on your own blood,” I said bluntly.
He cocked his head to the side and gave me a devilish grin. “And you call me twisted.”
“The difference is you’d enjoy it with anyone. I’d only enjoy it with you.”
“Well, now, I feel special.”
“Yes. You and everyone else you deal with on a daily basis are on a very special list of mine.”
“And now you’re making me jealous.” He smirked, eyeing me from the floor up.
“You should learn to curb it. For someone who loves control so much, you certainly lack it within yourself.”
“Watch it, little girl,” he growled. “You’re already on thin ice as it is. I should have you sleeping in your cage for the rest of the night for fucking up your appointment the way you did today.”
I hated how the tone of his voice could easily make me tremble with fear, but I wouldn’t let him see it. He took another step toward me, but I remained pissed off as ever, immediately bringing my left foot back and turning my body to the side. And then he smiled at me, a chuckle vibrating up his throat.
“I love it when you do that.” He gestured at me with his hand. “It’s so cute.”
I furrowed my brows in absolute rage. “We’ll see how fucking cute I am when I’m covered in your blood
,” I seethed with demonic fury.
This time, he full out laughed, and I clenched my jaw until it hurt. I was so giving him a black eye tonight.
“Baby tigers are still cute even with blood all over their furry little faces.” He continued to chuckle, folding his arms across his chest.
My hands balled into fists, and my shoulders bunched with tension as red clouded my vision. He was doing it again; pushing my buttons to piss me off.
Make that two black eyes.
I cracked my knuckles. “You are such a condescending asshole.”
“And you are a disobedient little shit who very clearly wants her ass beat tonight,” he fumed, that angered tone sending chills up my spine, but I ignored them, a single word now giving flight to the wings of my wrath.
“Call me little … one more time,” I warned him menacingly, holding my index finger up while my eyes narrowed in on the dark blue of his.
A dark grin came across this face. Yes … I had challenged him; I knew that. But right now, I wanted a challenge worth fighting.
“I’m not sure you realize this,” Darren said, sauntering back and forth on his heels in obvious amusement, “but you are like the size of an overgrown child. So that makes you pretty fucking little.”
Yep, I lost it. I completely lost my shit.
Before I could fully register what I was doing, I grabbed the chair at my desk, which was light to begin with, and heaved it at Darren’s face. He caught it as I expected him to, but as I threw it, I advanced quickly and side kicked the shit out of his gut and sent him back a single step. He crouched forward for only a second before tossing the chair to the ground in a heap. He could have tossed the chair back at me, but I was beginning to notice he was changing his fighting strategy so that the only bruises I sustained from him were either on my wrists, neck or ankles. My ass was obviously the only place he loved to see them. That was a given.
Anger formed across his face as he lunged for my throat, but luckily, the Vaseline I had coated it with made it that much easier for me to pull him off me. I maneuvered my arm around his, locking it around his elbow, but as I did, the power of his body forced me to the ground. But I anticipated that. I immediately grabbed a tighter hold on his arm and pulled my legs up to wrap them around his neck, effectively putting him in a triangle choke hold. Squeezing my thighs together as tight as I could, I held onto his arm to keep it in place, but as I flexed my hips, his face lit up with a smile.
“Very good,” he groaned with approval. I was glad to see my choke was affecting him, but the look in his eye told me my hold on him wouldn’t last because before I knew it, he simply stood up with my body still wrapped around his arm and throat.
My eyes lit up in shock at his annoyingly evident strength as he made his way to the bed. I knew what he was going to do before he even did it, so I quickly forced my free hand around my legs and grabbed his tie, yanking on it as hard as I could and wrapping it around my fist. I heard him give out another groan as he quickly lifted his arm up and then slammed me down on top of the bed. The wind was momentarily knocked from my lungs and though I tried to hold on even tighter, the impact caused my legs to loosen just enough for him to rip himself from my hold.
As soon as he was free, I brought my legs back up to kick him. My feet landed on his chest and he made a move to grab my ankle, but it slid right out of his hand and I was able to roll backward off the bed to the other side.
Darren looked down at his hand and rubbed his fingers together feeling the mysterious oily substance on his hand. He looked at me in confusion.
“Vaseline,” I replied confidently.
A thick smile grew on his face again, and this time, it looked almost proud. “Clever girl.” He smirked. “But I don’t need to touch your ankles or wrists to bind them.”
“True.” I nodded, afraid he might actually activate my cuffs, but I really didn’t want him to. “But then, where’s the fun in that?”
Another grin. God, he was so sexy sometimes. It was just a shame he was so ugly on the inside.
“And I am a fan of twisted fun,” he sneered at me.
“Exactly.”
He started to walk around the bed toward me, and I tensed up, ready for another fight.
“Your triangle hold is lacking. Your legs aren’t strong enough against someone like me,” he said casually while his arms hung loosely at his sides. What the fuck?
“Are you critiquing me?”
“I thought you might want to know.” He shrugged.
“Like I need advice on technique,” I practically spat. I had been a martial artist nearly all my life. I didn’t appreciate this kind of insult.
“No, you really don’t. Your technique is nearly perfect. Every move you make, even the steps you take, are calculated and precise. I love that about you. In so many ways, you remind me of me. Unfortunately, you just lack the strength and size to really harness it.”
My face lit up with revulsion. “Don’t compare me to you. We’re nothing alike. You’re a cancer that infects everything around you. And I swear to God, Darren Davis, one day I’m going to eradicate you from this world.”
A soft seductive chuckled rolled up his throat and made me twinge in anger.
“You and I both know that’s never going to happen. You’re mine, and you’ll remain mine no matter what you try to do. Forever.”
I slowly shook my head at him. “You’re so fucking delusional, it’s pathetic.”
“Careful,” he warned. “Or you’re going to get a lot more pain than what’s already coming to you. Don’t make it worse for yourself.”
“Like I said,” I replied, twisting my neck and cracking my bones, “I’m in the mood to fight.”
“And don’t I love it when you’re in a mood.” He smirked.
This time, I lunged at him.
I moved to kick him in the stomach, but he casually sidestepped me, causing me to miss completely. But I didn’t let my momentum go to waste as I quickly turned my body around and elbowed him in the gut, but it wasn’t very hard as I hadn’t fully prepared for it.
But ducking low and being in that position made me vulnerable, and Darren seized his opportunity by grabbing my ponytail and pulling me down onto the bed. He immediately straddled my hips and took my wrists in his hands. They slid out like butter, and I went to punch him right in the dick. I wasn’t fast enough, though, as he gripped my wrists again. He forced them down on the bed and quickly wiped them with my bedsheets.
Well, fuck …
He gripped them again in one hand, grabbed my jaw, and kissed me roughly on the mouth. His fingers dug into the side of my face until I finally opened my mouth to let him in. His tongue seeped in, taking mine hostage as they battled for authority. And then I decided to see if I could play this to my advantage. I kissed him back aggressively, pushing my pelvis against him until I felt his grip on my wrists start to loosen. A small amount of Vaseline still lingered on my skin, and I managed to slip out of his hold. He raised his head to regain his position over me, but I had accomplished a quick elbow to the side of his face. His face jerked to the side from my impact, and a small short groan escaped his lips as he fought to restrain me.
“That’s enough, Jaden!” he roared at me.
“What’s the matter, Darren? Can’t take a hit by a little girl?” I practically spat, eyeing him intensely.
“You wanna talk about taking hits? Let’s see how many you can take before you start screaming,” he seethed.
Darren ripped me from the bed and placed my wrists around one of the tall posts of my bed. He then activated my cuffs and tethered me to my bedpost. He forced the rest of my wayward body over his lap where he rained down his hand until my ass swelled with heat and my lungs scorched from screaming. And then he continued with his belt against my back until it matched my ass.
“You think I’m gonna let you roam the house in my absence with an attitude like this?” he shouted at me. “You must have me confused with someone who rewards
bad behavior.”
“It doesn’t matter what I do. I never get my way anyway,” I bit back with clenched teeth. “So I might as well act how I want.”
“And look where it’s gotten you,” he replied, giving me another swift smack on the ass. “You want out of this room? You had better make damn sure you make me pretty fucking happy in the next couple of weeks. Otherwise, I’ll start a whole new method to ensure you behave when I’m gone. Things can always get worse, Jaden. Don’t push me.”
After that, Darren proceeded to fuck me three times that night, waking me every half hour for another round until I was sore and desperate for sleep. I was reminded who I belonged to and that this sort of behavior wasn’t acceptable. And then, when he was finally done with me, he did, in fact, force me to spend the rest of the night in my cage, reminding me how things could always get “worse.”
Since then, I never wanted to do anything that would warrant my ever having to see that fucking cage again. I felt drained and hopeless for a long time. No matter how hard or often I fought Darren, he always won.
Eventually, I had learned to stop fighting him as much and just let him have his way. It really wasn’t that hard to give in, though. He terrified me on a daily basis, and I wanted to keep him happy enough to avoid his punishments. I knew how cruel he could be. So I had to change my strategy.
Sometimes, I would think of little things to please him and show him I cared about keeping him happy, even though it was only for my sole benefit. Most days he never really acknowledged it, but I was sure he noticed. Little things like soaking in fragrant bath oils before he came home or gently kissing his shoulder every now and then when he was nice since I couldn’t reach his face very often. I’d even try to smile at him occasionally, and usually, he’d give me a small smile back.
Even with the fear of punishment, it was difficult to keep my attitude in check—especially when he tried to push my buttons or deliberately patronize me—but my sass was never far behind. He’d reprimand me every time I accidentally cussed around him, but I could see the smirk forming on his face when my smart-ass humor came out. It entertained him, and if I could make him smile, he might actually make me smile in return.