by J Marie
“God, that sound,” he said, his thumb coming up to rub along my cheek. “I’ve never heard anything so satisfying in all my life.”
“What sound?” I asked.
“Your laughter. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it like that before.”
My face went blank. Fuck, he’d nearly been thinking the same thing.
“Sorry to disappoint, but I haven’t had much reason to laugh lately,” I said carefully.
“I know,” he said in understanding. “But if you let me, I can easily change that.”
I didn’t know how he thought he could. He really expected me to relinquish my freedom to him and just accept the life he was “giving” me, even if it was completely incompatible with who I was as a person. In no way could a woman like me ever be happy with a man like him. If you could even call him a man.
“I’m just not sure you can,” I said softly. I didn’t know why I told him that, but it seemed like there was a lot of honesty going on.
“You don’t think I can, or you don’t want me to?” he asked, a challenging look in his eye.
Did I want him to make me happy? Did I want him to be the source of my laughter and smiles? No, of course not. Darren was not what I wanted out of life because he came with chains that controlled and hurt. Who would want a man like that? Sure, many women were turned on by an alpha male, myself included, but Darren wasn’t just an alpha. He was my fucking warden, my tyrant, my captor, and I hated him for it. But it didn’t matter whether I wanted him to be the source of my happiness because the only thing I would ever feel when it came to him was misery. I highly doubted anything could change that.
I suddenly noticed the position I was in as I straddled Darren, distress beginning to shadow me as I remembered the last time I had straddled him like this. Things hadn’t gone so well for me then. I pursed my lips and moved to get off him, but he grabbed my hips and held me fast.
“No, don’t run,” he said seriously.
“I’m not running, but the last time I straddled you like this, things did not end well,” I told him honestly.
“Then don’t misbehave this time and they won’t,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Now, answer my question.”
“I don’t want to cause a fight.”
“Then answer my question and you won’t,” he said, that warning glare arising again.
“I …” I started to answer but was too afraid to finish. I really didn’t want to end up back in my cage for angering him with my opinion.
I looked down at him with a blank face, though I was sure he could feel the sadness that clouded my eyes like a rainstorm. My eyes fell to his chest, taking in the dark gray tie that rested over his light gray dress shirt and suit jacket. As if noticing my distraction, Darren took one of my wrists in his hand and brought it to his lips. His nose tickled up the soft skin of my wrist, tracing my tattoo before kissing it gently over and over again.
“You don’t have to be so scared all the time, Jaden,” he said softly, keeping his eyes on my wrist. “I won’t deliberately hurt you unless you give me a reason to.”
“Yet you somehow always manage to get me to give you a reason,” I replied with caution.
“Yes, you do have a very sensitive fuse that’s easy to light.” He smirked at me between kisses.
“No more sensitive than yours.” I glared back.
“Yes.” He almost laughed. “But mine is the one you need to avoid.”
“Yet mine is the one you love to light.” I smirked back like the cocky little shit I was.
He chuckled at me then as his eyes roamed over my body. And then, before I could blink, he rolled us over and I was back on my back, Darren now nestled between my legs while his hands rested on the grass at my sides. There was that gorgeous smile again. God, it made me liquefy inside when I saw it. This was his warm smile, the one that told me I was safe from the monster inside him so long as I didn’t feed it.
His lips found the underside of my jaw and they made a sweet little trail up to my ear. “Stop dodging,” he said softly. “Answer my question.”
I sighed, hoping he would concentrate on something else other than the thing I knew would ruin both our moods.
“Look at me,” I said carefully. Darren brought his eyes up to face mine, but there was a dangerous look to them. Yeah, yeah, I told you to do something. Get over it. “And I mean really look at me, Darren. Have you ever seen a wild lion at the zoo? One that didn’t grow up in captivity?”
Darren’s face remained blank as he stared down at me, but I could tell he was listening intently.
“You ever see the fire they once had in their eyes disappear when they remember how they used to roam free in the wild? Hunting and running as they pleased only to be locked away in a small, barely recognizable habitat for them to spend the rest of their tormented lives in? You see how that fire dies? That’s me. And that’ll be me for the rest of my life if you continue to keep me like this. So do I think you can make me happy? I’m sorry, but you have to understand my sincere skepticism.”
Instead of the intense glare I had expected to get, I received the most smart-ass smirk I’d ever seen.
“Sounds like a challenge to me.” He grinned.
I shook my head, disappointed with his answer. Of course, everything was a challenge to him.
“You’re not listening to me. I’m just a conquest for you. I know I’m the only one who’s ever stood up to you, and I know that’s what drew you in. But what happens if that day comes, when I’ve finally had enough, when I’ve finally given up and I become dull and robotically obedient? You will get bored of me and will eventually want someone else. Probably someone younger. I’m just a phase for you, and when you’ve finally won, you’ll move on to the next challenge.”
Wow, I couldn’t believe I said that, but sometimes my mouth just runs with whatever’s on my mind. I had to learn to curb that shit.
Darren looked down at me with a blank face, but his eyes said something totally different. Anger. I quickly backtracked.
“I’m sorry,” I said anxiously. “I shouldn’t have said all that.”
His eyes narrowed, and I felt chills rise up my spine. Fuck, I knew it.
“Don’t apologize for something you’re not actually sorry for. The only reason you’re sorry is for yourself because you know you’re in trouble,” he said in anger.
“You’re right, I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly. “I didn’t mean to analyze. I am a psychology major, after all.”
“You’re also very wrong,” he replied darkly.
I looked at him to clarify, but he just shook his head at me in disappointment.
“Do you have no faith in yourself, Jaden?” he asked me softly. I squinted at him curiously. “Do you really think I will break you down so badly that you’ll just retreat to something robotic and routine? No,” he said, shaking his head. “There are stages to this, Jaden, many stages. The road to perfection will be long and hard, but I know we can get there.”
“And where does that road lead?” I asked.
“Our happiness,” he said softly with a genuine smile.
Our happiness …
I slowly shook my head at him in disbelief.
So delusional …
“I know you don’t believe me now,” he said, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “But things will get easier. I promise. You have to trust me.”
“But,” I started, afraid to finish my sentence. “I don’t want this.”
“Not yet,” he said simply, tracing his thumb along my jaw. “But you will.”
Darren then made a move to prove his point and fucked me in the grass. But it wasn’t his usual routine because it was more as if he was making love to me than anything else. He was slow and gentle, taking his time with my body, feeling and kissing every inch until I found myself moaning for more. I was worried about the guards seeing us at first, but Darren assured me his guards knew better than to watch. I was grateful because the things we di
d in that grass were things I wasn’t about to forget anytime soon.
I spent the rest of the night thinking about Darren and what he had said to me. I had challenged him again, but this time, it was for something that might actually benefit me. If he could try to just be a little nicer, a little less demanding, things might be a little more tolerable, but it would never stop me from wanting to escape him. I didn’t think that urge would ever fade. He thought I’d eventually give in and come around, wanting him over my freedom, but he was so wrong … because I wanted someone else far more than he could ever comprehend. My loyalty would never belong to him … because it still belonged to someone else.
Chapter Thirty-One
Discovery
The following week had been better. Now that I was able to go outside, my mood was better, and Darren seemed to respond better to me now that I wasn’t sulking or arguing as much. I hadn’t seen him as much as he was working a lot, but he still tried to make sure he, at least, had dinner with me.
True to his word, Darren had started to lighten up. He was softer and less aggressive with me, but he was still just as demanding; I didn’t think that would ever change. I didn’t think he knew how not to be demanding since he was so used to always getting his way, but it was nice that he was trying to make me less miserable in his presence.
Our conversations were beginning to change. I worked hard to make sure I didn’t bring up a single topic that would start a fight, but I seriously had to hold my tongue at times when a certain opinion of his came out of his mouth. But it was when Darren brought up the potential future that I had a hard time not shutting down. He could tell when it upset me, and I knew it was upsetting him that it upset me, but I could see some times when he himself was actually holding back to avoid a fight. Maybe he, too, was trying to keep the peace no matter how temporary it was.
Darren still refused to discuss any of his personal business with me, but I wanted to know more about his dealings so I would know who to watch out for when my plan to escape came to life. I tried to pay attention to his phone calls and conversations with guards and associates. Words like Triguard, Audeāmus, countermeasures and strikes, shipments, and auction. Anytime I heard anything remotely close to mentioning the warehouse, my stomach would backflip. And it only motivated me to start paying attention to names—Ron, Matt, Carlos, Moross, Dan, Dominic, and Ray. My hit list was getting bigger by the day.
The days Darren worked from home were strange. Everyone seemed anxious and on their toes while people I’d never seen before came and went from his office. Darren’s guards would often usher me away from his office, telling me Darren was busy and not to disturb him. But I wasn’t interested in him; I was interested in the people he dealt with on a regular basis.
Every now and then, I would continue to see the gardener here and there, and one time, I just flat out waved to him with a fake-ass happy smile on my face, hoping he would see that I was fine. He gave me a small short wave back and returned to his work.
One morning, Darren and I talked about our general interests and found common ground. He still liked to pry me on things about my childhood, and it usually brought a smile to his face, so I obliged.
“You’re going to think this is hilarious.” I chuckled. “But I used to love flying kites when I was a kid.”
“Really?” Darren asked enthusiastically, obviously thinking it was hilarious.
“Oh yeah, and I was really good at it, too. I could always catch the perfect breeze and make it fly for hours. I could even do tricks and make it spin around like a bird. I kind of miss it, actually. It was very relaxing.”
Darren just gave me a knowing smile as if he was up to something. He usually always was.
The following morning, Darren had told me he would be late coming home and that I would be having dinner alone. Shocker there, but he suddenly said that he had a surprise for me. He stood up from the chair and went to pull the other chair out that sat across the table from me. He then pulled up a long wrapped present and set it down in front of me. It was wrapped in white wrapping paper with a bright pink bow. I gave Darren a look, but he just urged me to open it. After ripping off the paper and bow, I pulled the top off the rectangular box and pushed back the white tissue paper to find what looked like some dark purple fabric, thin plastic poles, and string. I looked at it curiously before I pulled the fabric out and realized it was the makings of a kite!
“Ha!” I laughed.
I pulled everything out with pure excitement on my face and immediately put the kite together. When I looked back up at Darren with a huge smile on my face, that warm sexy one of his smiled back.
“Thank you,” I said earnestly.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, his eyes soft as he watched me. “Maybe you can show me some of your tricks when I get back.” He winked.
“Be ready to have your mind blown.” I grinned.
I gave Darren a very nice good-bye kiss before he left, and then I spent the remainder of my day outside. I smiled to myself as I hooked the kite to my string and let it take off into the wind, but it wouldn’t stay in flight for long. The wind wasn’t strong enough to keep it up. I would have to wait until after dinner to try again.
Getting Darren to buy me the kite had been easier than I thought. Sure, I loved it when I was a kid, but I couldn’t give a fuck less about flying it now. I just needed a good excuse to climb one of these fucking trees to figure out where the fuck I was. And here I thought Darren knew when he was being manipulated. Stupid, cocky fuck.
I had dinner later alone on the patio and afterward casually strolled by the edge of the trees while flying my kite. The wind had picked up as I had hoped. Luckily, it was also pointing just in the right direction. I sporadically glanced around here and there, but I could no longer see the guards who normally watched me. After a while, they had spread out from the patio as they had more than just me to watch over. When I couldn’t see anyone for the next several minutes, I purposefully tripped over myself and let go of the handle holding on to my kite. Like a man on a mission, the kite aggressively flew away and landed in one of the branches atop a large, tall tree. Absolute perfection.
I glanced around one last time to make sure no one was watching and quickly started to climb the tree, flats and dress be damned. Truth be told, I was terrified of heights, but I didn't let that stop me as I climbed higher and higher until I finally reached the top and grabbed the stupid kite, securing it in my hand.
I then eagerly looked out from the tree and realized I could see Darren’s entire estate from up here. It was a lot bigger than I had thought. I couldn’t see his property line as trees surrounded the estate, but from what I could tell, Darren probably had forty or fifty acres of private land. I could see the gate to the entrance of the estate and it looked like it might have wrapped all the way around the property. There were no neighbors, and I could see the private paved road that led to the gate.
Adrenaline began to rush through me as I frantically looked off into the far distance, taking everything in, looking for anything that might give away my location. But as I looked off into the distance, miles away there were buildings, and structures, and hills. I could see a city, but I knew it was probably about twenty miles away. And then I saw a bridge; a bridge way off in the distance, but one I instantly recognized. The Coronado Bridge in San Diego, California.
My heart leaped with joy as my earlier suspicions were correct and then sank to the bottom of my soul as I realized how far away from home I was. I was all the way on the other side of the fucking country.
How the fuck had I gotten this far without noticing? There was no way I had gotten here without being flown this far, but I don’t recall ever getting on a plane. Had I been drugged that heavily? They had to have a private jet and landing strip to be able to get away with it. So many fucking questions spinning around in my head.
Looking over at the horizon, I couldn’t help but appreciate the view of the water. I could see sailboats and
freighters floating along toward the city, and I suddenly longed to be free like that. I could have stayed up in that tree forever, but I knew that eventually I would have to come down. But things abruptly took a turn for the worst as I heard Darren’s loud, angry voice call out my name and I hunched in the tree from shock and fear. In a panic, I frantically started to climb down with the kite as quickly as I possibly could. He’d kill me if he found me up here.
Just as I leaned forward to climb down the next branch, I felt my cuffs link together and I completely lost my footing. I screamed as my stomach dropped to my feet while I began to fall heavily down through the branches, tearing my dress, and scratching up my arms and legs as the limbs of the tree broke against my body.
Fear consumed me as I thought I would tumble down to my death, but luckily, I caught a branch with my arms halfway down. It scratched and tore my skin, but I clung to it tightly as I tried to catch my breath and calm my shaking nerves, pain now enveloping my entire body. It didn’t help much when I looked down to find Darren standing underneath the tree. I couldn’t see his face very well, but I knew he was pissed.
“Jaden!” he yelled at me. “What the FUCK are you doing up there?!”
Yeah, he was furious.
“Let me go so I can climb down!” I shouted back to him. There was no way I could successfully climb down with my limbs bound like this.
After a few seconds, I felt the force binding my cuffs diminish, and I held on for only a second longer before climbing down to meet my death. I had lost the kite somewhere among the branches, but there was no point in going for it now.
I jumped down from the last branch and stared up at a very sinister looking Darren and took a slight step back. Faster than I had anticipated, he grabbed my throat and shoved me up against the tree roughly.
“Just what the fuck were you doing up there, huh? And who the fuck told you that you could roam around out here?” he roared down at me.