Jake moved up behind her as if to help propel her chair out the door.
"I'm fine," she lied, gripping the rubber-edged wheels. "I can get myself the rest of the way."
"I can help," Jake said. Tye twisted in the chair and narrowed her eyes challengingly. Finally, he seemed to get the message, because he stepped away from her and merely opened the door.
It took every ounce of strength Tye possessed to move the chair out the door ― on to their shared front deck. At the door of her apartment, she turned her head and looked back. Jake stood in his doorway watching her. He lifted a hand slowly and saluted her. Tye turned her head away and closed her eyes tightly. That gesture of farewell was familiar, one she hadn’t seen in so many years. Emotion overloaded her. Tye felt the threatening burn behind her eyes.
Firming her lips to stop the trembling, she said loudly, "For the record, Jake, I never give up." Except once, when I shouldn’t have, she amended silently. I was only seventeen, and maybe I made a mistake. A mistake she could never undo and would forever regret.
#
"Ben, find me another place. I can't stay here," Tye typed on her notebook computer early the next morning.
Ben's reply came almost immediately via chat. "Why not? The place is perfect. What's the matter? Has something happened to upset you?"
Tye looked at the ceiling, then typed, "No" she swallowed hard and typed quickly, "Jake’s been great. I just can't stay here. It's not right for me. By the way, you might have told me, but I don’t recall you mentioning the place was owned by Jake." Tye hit the Send button.
"I did tell you, Sis. I know you two were hot when you were kids, but it didn’t seem to be a problem for Jake. You two have hardly mentioned each other in all these years."
Tye felt a sharp lance of pain. She hadn’t told anyone the truth about her leaving, and apparently Jake hadn’t confided in her brother, either.
"It'll take me awhile to find another place with such a perfect setup. I told Jake it was only temporary."
Tye felt a curl of disappointment. The apartment was perfect, but how could she explain the twisting emotions she herself didn't understand? She couldn't stay around Jake Miller. He touched something raw in her, the part of her that had never fully recovered from loving him. She was attracted to him, plain and simple. It was the first real emotion she’d felt in months. Maybe before the accident she might have done something about it if Jake walked back into her life, but not now, not when she felt so inadequate as a woman, as a person.
Tye had never felt inadequate in her life. Now, the feeling seemed to seep into every segment of her existence. Even her writing career suffered. Since the accident she hadn’t touched a freelance article she’d once been incredibly enthusiastic about. She had to get her life back on track. Seeing Jake brought into vivid recall the day of the accident, the pain and her own vulnerability. All her absurd fantasies about him aside, how could she move on with her life if she were constantly reminded of the life they might have had together?
Tye looked down at the computer screen.
"So the only alternative I can see is to have you move in with me." Ben had put a smiley face at the end of the message.
Tye zeroed in on the words. "What?" she practically screeched.
Furiously, she typed, "Whoa! Hold on, Ben. No way." Tye managed a laugh, and typed again, "No way. I'll stay here until you find something else, but find me something fast."
Tye left the chat, mixed emotions snaking through her. She looked out the window at the sun creeping across the pasture. This ranch looked so beautiful. She felt enfolded by it, protected. When had she ever wanted to be protected from anything in her life? But now she welcomed the feeling.
"It looks like I'm stuck here, at least for a while." She would make the most of it. Surely on a ranch as spacious as this one appeared to be, she could easily keep out of Jake’s way. Jake, who had a new life, one that would never involve her. They had both moved beyond a teenage love.
Tye glared at the artificial limb where it lay on the table across the room. She could wish it away, throw it in the corner, hope it would rot there forever, but she knew it was a lifeline, the one thing that could make her independent, her ticket to getting back into rodeo. An expensive ticket, but one she had to invest in.
Her crutches leaned against the wall by the refrigerator. First step: renew her acquaintance with the leg that had been specially fitted for her.
#
Jake rose early, took a swim in the pool and got ready for work. All the while he thought about the events of last night. Tye had baffled him, telling him out of the blue that she was leaving, then deciding to stay. His ploy might have made her change her mind and stay the night, but he had seen the determined look in her eye that told him she would be gone by daybreak, if humanly possible. This was a new situation for Jake. None of his sisters had ever been so obstinate or determined to go their own way. They had always turned to him and welcomed his help.
Jake recalled a time when Tye could be swayed by him. No more. She’d made that abundantly clear last night. She’d been furious when he’d tried to help her out the door. Jake couldn’t help staring at her amputated limb. It had been covered by her jeans, but he had woken up in the middle of the night thinking about it, remembering the accident. Would he ever get that scene out of his mind? The bull half covering Tye. Both her legs pinned under its weight. Tye lying so still and white.
Jake watched the light brighten the morning sky, running a hand over the front of his silk shirt and finding a button he had missed. Daybreak had come and gone, and as far as he knew, she was still here.
With thoughts of Tye on his mind, Jake glanced at his watch and then left the house and strode to the barn. He’d fed the horses earlier, but had neglected to close the gate leading from the barn to the pasture.
Now he smoothed a hand through his hair for the hundredth time and glowered at the ground. It didn’t sit well that he had tossed and turned most of the night. He wouldn’t have been surprised to hear a vehicle arrive to pick up Tye.
He came to an abrupt halt at the barn door, surprised to see Tye in the barn. There was no wheelchair, just her, standing there on her own. Another quick look at his watch assured him it was barely six, but there she was, staring out over his pasture, a relaxed, almost tranquil expression on her face. Jake swallowed hard and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. Long ago he had dreamed of sharing every morning with her. His mouth twisted. They both had been so young.
Jake figured the gentlemanly thing would be to let her have some privacy. He should turn and walk away. She probably wouldn't be happy to see him this morning.
"Good morning, Tye," he said instead. As if he had startled her, she swiftly turned her head. At least she didn't look nearly as tired. Even tired, she looked damned good.
Tye walked toward him, slim in worn jeans and a gray cotton T-shirt. Her gait was somewhat awkward, but she wore a determined smile on her face, and he couldn't help but stare at her blue, blue eyes. She had shown up yesterday looking bone tired and sitting in a wheelchair. Today, with her prosthesis in place, he got the message that she wanted to act as if everything was normal. As far as he was concerned, normal was good. The way she was watching him, Jake had a feeling this was a trial of sorts. Was she testing him, or anyone who came into contact with her? Jake squashed the voice that warned him he’d made a mistake in letting her come here.
"Good morning, Jake. I wanted to see your stock. Mind if I look around?"
"No, feel free. The horses are pretty friendly. They’re always interested in carrots or treats."
"Are they yours, Jake?"
"Yes. A friend fell on some hard times and needed somewhere to park the horses. That was three years ago. I ended up buying the trio."
Jake watched Tye lean a moment against a fence post. He wondered about her leg, if it bothered her, but something in her face warned him not to ask. He balled his fists deeper in his pockets and said with determin
ation, "Are you, do you need any help?" Inwardly, he cursed his own awkwardness, cursing inwardly. She narrowed her eyes but he ignored the warning. "If you find you need anything or I've forgotten something, I'll be around later this afternoon. Look around at whatever you like, Tye. I'll be leaving for work in the next hour." He made himself walk away from her. Everything in him wanted to stick around and talk to her, make sure she was okay. But her wary expression told him she had to make the first move. Jake pushed the barn gate closed and latched it.
"Jake?"
He turned quickly, then cursed his eagerness. What was the matter with him?
"Do you usually work on Saturdays?"
"Not usually. In a little while I have to go in and check a few things and meet with some people."
"I’m not used to seeing you in a suit," she remarked.
Jake smoothed his tie, feeling the cool breeze, seeing it lift several strands of Tye’s hair. "I run a manufacturing company. I have a lot of business meetings ― that's the reason for the suit." He couldn’t resist adding, "I’m not the same man you knew, Tye."
"I know what you do. I do remember your father's business." There was a slight curve to Tye’s mouth, as if something amused her. Jake wondered at the quick, almost assessing glance she ran over him. A ripple of awareness moved between them as their gazes met. He slid a finger under his suddenly tight collar. Did she think he was the same gullible kid with her? Holding back from taking their kisses too far.
It piqued Jake that Tye seemed to ignore him as she turned her gaze back to his pasture. He wondered if she saw the same beauty in the flat, desolate expanse as he did. He loved this land. It was his, something he had worked hard for. A place of permanence he came back to at the end of a long day.
"I really appreciate you stocking the fridge and the cupboards for me," she told him softly, still not looking at him.
"No problem, Tye. Ben helped me with suggestions about what you might like. I go shopping once a week. Make a list if you need anything."
She looked surprised, then disappointed. "Oh. I thought maybe you remembered what I like." Quickly, she put up a hand to brush the hair from her eyes, her laugh sounding forced. "Isn’t that silly? We wouldn’t remember anything from that long ago."
Jake’s smile felt frozen. He remembered that she liked strawberries piled with whipped cream. He recalled the time he’d kissed the cream from her lips, then deliberately sprayed some whipped cream on her neck and licked that sweetness from her skin.
"Mama's bringing my vehicle out sometime this week." Tye ran her fingertips over the rough-cut wall boards. "By the way, I talked to Ben this morning."
"Really? Is he back in the country?"
"He is. I contacted him via chat. I want to reassure you I won’t impose any longer than necessary. Ben’s looking around for somewhere else for me to rent." Tye looked Jake in the eye and blurted, "If it's okay, I'd like to stay here until he comes up with something. I-I can’t go home right now. I promise to stay out of your way."
"Yeah, sure, no problem." Jake tried to keep his voice offhand, while something inside him lifted. She wasn't leaving, at least not immediately. Then he felt irritated with his thoughts. He wanted her to get well and leave: he had to keep that firmly in mind. They weren’t in love anymore. Maybe they could find a comfortable solution for her, or maybe she would realize on her own that this arrangement could work. She could rest and get her life together. Once things settled down for her, she could leave, and they could all go on as before. Jake felt satisfied with that conclusion. He was only helping someone in need. When she was on her feet once more, good riddance.
"I have things to do," he said abruptly, exasperated with his own meandering. He made himself walk away and left her standing by the barn. It was best for both of them if they stayed out of each other’s way.
§ Chapter Four §
Tye watched Jake walk toward the house, still unable to shake the sense of unreality each time she saw him. She had had him pegged a certain way in her mind, and to see him now, it felt as if she’d never left. She must have been out of her mind that night, to think he was an angel sent especially for her.
Once Jake was out of sight, she determinedly walked away from the barn to the split rail fence enclosing the pasture. If it killed her, she would learn to walk normally with this fool artificial leg.
The barn itself was in good repair. Tye found three horses out in the pasture. The first two were beautiful bays, their coats the color of copper, with legs dark and fine. The third horse, a deep, true black, was of a heavier build. Tye immediately felt drawn to him. He reminded her of her favorite horse, Pongo, a black-and-white paint horse.
The black horse trotted over to the fence and poked his dark muzzle over the rail next to Tye. Speaking softly, she leaned against the wood for support and rubbed her palm down his sleek neck.
"You're gorgeous," she told him, and an unexpected homesickness hit her. Because of her stubbornness, she hadn't seen her horses in over three months.
The horse dipped his head and, in the next moment, pushed against Tye's chest. The unexpected movement made her take a step backward on her right leg. She lost her balance and landed awkwardly on the ground. Hearing running footsteps, she turned her head to see Jake coming toward her, alarm all over his face.
"Damn." Tye tried to scramble up, but only managed to rise to one knee by the time Jake reached her side. She held herself off the ground with her hands in the dirt, looking up at him awkwardly, her face flushed, her shirt damp from her exertions.
"Tye, are you okay? I just happened to see you fall." Jake knelt down. The concern on his face, combined with his dark hair tumbling over one eye, set off an uneasy feeling in Tye. Attraction stirred dark and needy. Damn! She didn't want to feel attracted to him. They couldn’t pick up where they’d left off. Life didn’t work out that way as much as she wanted to turn back the clock.
Tye felt herself tense. Where had those thoughts come from?
He helped her to her feet and, still slightly off center, she took a nosedive into his shirt. Instantly, she panicked, trying to straighten as she slapped his helpful hands away. Jake stepped back and released her upper arms, but not before Tye felt a pulsing awareness that made her nerve endings jump. The subtle scent of his freshly showered skin played around her nostrils. Soap and shaving lotion.
What was the matter with her? She couldn’t go back: there were too many years and too many words between them.
Angry with herself, she snapped, "I'm fine! Leave me alone. I don’t need your help." Tye turned her head away from him, blinking hard as moisture filmed her eyes. "I guess I'm a hazard around the barn," she muttered, angry with her own awkwardness. She felt as inadequate as hell.
Jake stepped back, and she heard him say, "I forgot to mention Tibald's got a knack for rubbing against you. He's gotten the best of me a time or two."
Tye again blinked rapidly, not daring to look at Jake as she slapped the dust from her jeans with her palms. If he knew there were angry tears rimming her eyes, he was smart enough not to mention it.
After a moment, she ran her gaze up and down him, not bothering to hide her disbelieving frown.
"Tibald. That's his name? He's knocked you down?" she asked incredulously.
"Well, knocked me backward," Jake admitted with a grin. Tye decided to ignore the smile in his eyes telling her it was no big deal. The connection she felt was too dangerous for her peace of mind. "Of course, you can't compare my two hundred pounds to your one hundred," he added quickly.
"One twenty-five," Tye told him automatically. Without her lower leg she was minus five pounds, give or take.
Jake reached up and affectionately rubbed the heel of his palm between the horse's eyes. "There's not a bit of malice in him, but he's sometimes a goof ball."
Tye stepped back to get a better look at the horse. "He reminds me of my Paint horse," she said, giving voice to her earlier thoughts.
"Ben said your horses are
out at your mother's ranch?"
She looked away. "Yes, Mama's got lots of pasture." Tye suddenly felt uncomfortable with that explanation. "I-I let Mama assume responsibility for my animals the entire time I’ve been in the hospital and rehabilitation." She looked down, angry with herself. She had never asked about them, nor offered Mama anything for their upkeep. Tye bit her lip at her apathy. It wasn't like her to let other people shoulder her obligations. "I have some things to sort out with her."
"I’m sure you will. If you should decide to start riding, Tye, there's plenty of room here for an extra horse."
Tye opened her mouth, then quickly closed it. Did he think she was ready to pick up the pieces and begin to ride? "I’ll ride when I’m ready." She swallowed hard. "That's very generous of you, but I won’t be here that long. I wouldn’t impose on you, anyway," she ended stiffly.
As Jake scrubbed a hand under the black's wide jaw, the animal stretched his nose out and closed his eyes. "Old Tibald here is as mellow as they come, but he can race like the wind if he's in the mood."
Tye stared at the back of Jake's head, her eyes unwillingly moving down the thick column of his neck, where it went down into his white shirt. She wondered what changes had occurred physically with Jake. He looked to be in superb shape.
Frowning heavily, still feeling slightly out of sync, Tye swung her hair off her shoulders. "I'm probably jumping to assumptions here, but you strike me as being too busy to have time for horses. Ben mentioned you’ve made a great success out of your father’s business. He said you work all the time."
Jake turned slowly to face her, his brows lifted in surprise. "I’ve always owned horses, Tye. I ride whenever I can. During the day they pretty much fend for themselves." Something in his eyes reminded her of the Jake she’d known long ago, the Jake she’d loved. There was almost a softness when he spoke of his horses. Tye drew in a hard breath. She wondered fleetingly if there was a woman in his life. How would his face look when he spoke about the woman he loved? She swallowed hard, an edge of desperation gripping her.
Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) Page 3