Throwing the towel over her shoulder, Tye made her way to the door of her apartment. On the threshold, she threw Jake one last glance. "I can't believe you're doing this," she said. "I can't believe I'm letting you."
Jake groaned and muttered, "I can't believe it either." But he stayed where he was on the opposite side of the patio.
Tye closed her door, shutting out Jake as he stood there, silhouetted against the overhead light.
#
With a muttered curse Jake stood by the pool, staring at the gentle ripple of the water. Why had he brought things which had been so hot between he and Tye, to a grinding halt? It’s what he wanted. Once he and Tye were together, he could get her out of his system. Why delay the inevitable?
Jake unbuttoned his jeans again. He needed to ease the stiffness in his shoulders and the regret in his gut. Now, more than ever he had to deplete the adrenaline still pumping through him. He would swim until exhaustion made him stop. How many nights had he swum out here since Tye arrived? Jake had lost count. Damn! He must be seven kinds of a fool. Hadn’t he learned his lesson the hard way? Tye might like to play, but when it came time to pay, she was out the door. He had called a halt to their lovemaking because he didn’t want her hurt. Jake felt as if he were in danger of getting too wrapped up in her life. It had happened once, how could he think about caring for her again? When she was ready, she’d leave again. History repeating itself.
Maybe he was too old-fashioned, but he had been brought up to believe women needed and wanted to be taken care of. His family...his sisters were prime examples. He had been taking care of them for so long, it was second nature. It suddenly struck Jake that in the last several weeks, however, his sisters hadn't asked him to fix any problems. He had talked to them at various times, but they hadn’t asked him for a thing. Strange.
Tye wasn't anything like his sisters, she had made that abundantly clear. She was determined to make her own decisions. She didn't welcome his help over the rough spots. Jake knew Tye wouldn’t hesitate to walk away again. She hadn’t changed. She would return to rodeo. That had always been the plan. Jake wasn’t going to be the one hurting this time. He could go into this affair with his eyes wide open. No expectations, just take what was offered and enjoy it for the time it lasted. Two weeks or two months. If it came down to an affair, he could handle it. He’d get two things. He’d get Tye Jenkins out of his system and he’d get his life back. That's what he’d wanted all along.
#
Several nights later Tye looked out her front window for what was probably the hundredth time, then walked through the living room and into the kitchen. Nervously, her gaze scanned the bags of pretzels, chips and party mix on her kitchen counter. She pulled open the refrigerator and looked again at the liters of soda and six packs of beer.
Letting the refrigerator door swing shut, Tye turned and leaned against it, pushing her shaking hands together. "This is ridiculous," she muttered. "I'm a basket case, all because I haven't seen my friends in umpteen months, and now they're all going to be here tonight." She pushed herself away from the solid support of the refrigerator and walked across the living room floor. "They're my friends, for God's sakes! It's not like they're suddenly an unknown entity. Why am I acting like this?"
Tye was disgusted with her clammy hands and rubbed them down the sides of her jeans. Why be nervous? She had decided, in true Jenkins fashion, to invite all her friends back into her life at once. It had only taken a couple phone calls to start the process. An open invitation had been extended to her friends to come to her place for a get-together. She had kept them at bay for months and months, but now she felt the time was right to let them back in. She had to face them, answer their questions if necessary, and get on with the business of living. Tye supposed her nervousness stemmed from the fact that she had deliberately kept them away and she wasn't sure now if they'd even show up.
Tye jumped when several knocks sounded at the front door. Before she could turn the knob, the door swung inward and she heard a familiar voice exclaim, "Tye! It's been so long!"
Her friend Denny Moran moved forward and threw her arms around her. Having dreaded and looked forward to this moment for so long, Tye felt a tightness close around her throat as they hugged, the embrace light and quick.
Denny stepped back, her dark eyes running over Tye. She met her gaze once more and gave Tye a big grin. "God, you look good, Tye. It's seems like forever since we've been together..." Denny's voice trailed off and Tye knew immediately she was thinking of the night of her accident, the last time they had seen each other.
"I know," Tye said lightly. "I've missed everyone so much. I'm so glad you came tonight."
Another friend, Lynn Barr, rushed up behind Denny. Short and sassy, Lynn made up in enthusiasm what she lacked in size. "A party! I told Denny you'd be back in the swing of things!" she said happily. "I knew you couldn’t stay away."
"It's great to see you guys," Tye said affectionately. She brushed Lynn's red curls lightly. "I heard you won big last week?"
Even though she didn't participate right now in rodeo, Tye had made a point of keeping up on the news. There was an awkward silence, then Lynn nodded, her eyes dropping down Tye's jean-clad leg. Quickly, she looked back up to Tye's face.
"Yeah, no big deal. If you'd been there, I wouldn't have had a chance at the big money." Quickly, she added, "Do you think you'll ever come back, Tye?"
Tye saw the way Denny dug her elbow into Lynn's side. Tye shrugged her shoulders and laughed, surprised to realize it didn't hurt as much as she had feared to hear such a question. A twinge of regret, maybe, but not a real angry hurt, not the way she had felt after the amputation.
"Well, who knows? My doctor hasn't given me an answer on that one yet, but there's all kinds of possibilities. Right now, I'm concentrating on getting back into the swing of daily living. I've started riding again, and everything seems to be falling into place. Any news I should know about?"
A small grin appeared on Denny's face. "Maybe."
Lynn moved closer. "I knew she couldn't wait to spill her guts. She's seeing a guy ―"
"Lynn, don't you dare tell," Denny said hurriedly, twisting sideways to clap a hand over Lynn's mouth.
Lynn gave Tye a slow wink, then pulled Denny's hand away from her mouth.
"What shouldn't she tell?" Tye asked, curious.
"I'm seeing someone," Denny admitted.
"And that's big news? What happened to Johnny?" Tye asked with a sly grin. It was no secret that Denny was a woman who loved men.
"He ran out of money in Tulsa and I told him I'd had enough. I got tired of taking second place to his rowdy habits, so I split."
"I know our Denny here changes boyfriends more often than a horse changes leads," Lynn butted in, "but this is different. She still hasn't brought this guy around to introduce him to the crowd." Lynn rolled her eyes dramatically. "She did promise she might invite him along tonight, but he hasn't shown yet."
"He doesn't rodeo, he's different than the rest of us," Denny said defensively. "I wanted to wait awhile before he got a handle on the rest of you. I don’t want you all to scare him away."
Tye got an odd feeling from Denny's words. Was Denny in a similar situation to herself, attracted to a man from a totally different background? How could she expect it to work out? Denny’s childhood had been similar to Tye’s. Her family had been involved in rodeo from the word go. It had been her way of life while growing up.
Throat dry, she asked lightly, "Is he someone I know?"
Denny shook her head. "I don't think so, but you'll meet him soon enough. We're still getting to know one another and I don't want to ruin it. You know how I louse up relationships and get hooked up with the wrong guy. There's other considerations, too. His wife died and he's got a little girl. I really like him so I'm going to take it very slow."
"He must be special." Tye cleared her throat, forcing a smile. She felt guilty over the dart of envy that clipped at her. "Good luck.
Let me know how it goes," she told Denny sincerely.
"We'll know more tonight...if he shows up," Lynn quipped.
Others began to arrive and the house quickly filled up. Tye had forgotten how many people she had invited on her spur-of-the-moment calling around to arrange a party. Her earlier anxiety receded as she talked to more of her friends.
The country music was loud and satisfying. Several couples danced on the living room floor, others were out on the front deck. Tye had invited Jake and his youngest sister Amy. Amy was in the midst of the crush of bodies and appeared to be having a good time. After introducing Jake to her friends Tye had lost track of him.
Tye checked the drinks, made sure the ice buckets were full and then refilled the snacks. She spoke to everyone, even some new acquaintances that had arrived with old friends.
There seemed to be an initial awkwardness, when her friends acted as if they didn't quite know how to treat her. Tye managed to get past that and began to feel like she had never been away from the old crowd. Tye even reminisced about rodeo meets. She had a keen interest in who was competing and what the standings were. She didn't want her friends to feel like they had to be careful what they said in front of her.
After Tye made the rounds her eyes settled on Denny's animated face from across the room. There was a difference in Denny, she could see a glow about her. Denny had always been a love-em and leave-em type of girl. Had she found the right guy, was she finally ready to settle down? An inexplicably heavy feeling settled on Tye. Apparently Denny wasn’t afraid to swim out of her element and take a chance.
Needing some fresh air Tye moved to the edge of the crowd, then opened the patio door and stepped out into the pool area. She had told her friends to bring their bathing suits, but no one had wandered out here yet. Tye wondered where Jake was. She wanted to find out how he felt about her friends. It was suddenly very important to her.
As Tye perched on the stone wall beside the pool area she reflected that there was a lot to be said for reconnecting with old friends. Yet the longer she sat there doubts began to prick at her. She had thought bringing back certain aspects of her past would fill the puzzling gaps she felt in her life. Always gregarious and fun-loving, Tye suddenly felt tired. It was barely ten, she had talked to the circle of friends she'd thought of as her extended family, and she was still dogged by a niggling dissatisfaction.
Listening to her friends tonight she wondered if she had always been so single-minded, concentrating only on the next rodeo, the next beer and where the best parties were?
Her friends and fans had been extremely supportive, and her intrusive thoughts made her feel ungrateful. The cards and letters hadn't stopped the entire time she had been in the hospital and rehabilitation. Now that everyone was gathered here, she was staring at the stars and feeling out of place. What was the matter with her? She hated feeling out of her element. She had never sat on the fringe of a party in her life. She could fit in anywhere. Why did she feel as if she were the odd one out? Where did she belong?
"Nowhere," she muttered.
Hearing a sound, the scrape of a foot on stone, Tye looked into the shadows behind her. She wasn't alone. Jake stood silhouetted against the overhead flood light some six feet from her, his hands in his pockets. She sensed he was looking at her, but she couldn't see his eyes.
"Catching a quick breather, Tye? Looks like the party's a hit. Everyone seems to be having a good time," he said.
"Yeah, everyone's having a great time," Tye said lightly. "I have a reputation to uphold, you know. I'm known as one of the better party-throwers."
"You rodeo with each of them?"
"Most of them, yes. They've been good friends, but then that's how rodeo people are. They're always willing to help out and offer support when you need it."
"They seem like a good bunch. So why are you out here?" His voice seemed deliberate, as if he knew something she didn't. Could Jake have guessed she was feeling out of place?
Tye looked away, lifting her shoulders in a careless shrug. "I just wanted a breath of fresh air. The smoke-filled room started bothering me. Do you know something, Jake, they're still my friends but it feels different."
"Maybe you treat them different, expecting them to treat you differently. Do you always sit on the outskirts of a party by yourself?"
"No, usually I'm in the midst of it, making the biggest noise. I always liked being the center of attention." She gave him a wry smile. "Of course, I'd never admit that to Ben. He claims I'm an exhibitionist and he said it comes from being the youngest. He always claimed I sucked up all the attention."
She heard Jake's soft laugh. "I probably told my sisters the same thing."
"I don't feel like that anymore ― I don't want that attention."
"What do you want, Tye?"
Tye expelled a heavy breath. "What do I want?" Tye shook her head, giving the question serious thought. "That should be an easy question, don’t you think? After the accident all I wanted was to be alone. When I had that, it still didn't feel right. I'm not really sure. I needed this party to get back in touch with my friends..." Tye felt swamped by confusion. "I feel kind of like a stranger to myself. I'm sitting here, I know it's me, but the old urges aren't there. I haven't had a beer since the accident. I haven't wanted one."
"I wouldn't say that's a big deal."
"It is for me. I feel so changed."
"That's understandable. You're going through some major adjustments in your life. You’ve got to expect things to change."
"I'm not so sure I want to party and be rowdy anymore. The lust for it's gone. But I'm not going to sit in a corner either," she said definitely. "I’m just not sure how to deal with this sense of uncertainty."
Jake came closer. For a fleeting moment Tye longed to lift her hand and run her fingers along the crest of his head, dip her fingers into the deep darkness of his hair, then trail them over his hard jaw. She recalled the last night they had been together. An ache tightened the back of her throat. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be; she and Jake.
She tipped her head to stare up at the sky, mocking herself. He was Mr. Right, she the undomesticated Tye Jenkins. Hadn’t she proved that years ago? She couldn't settle anywhere for long if her life depended on it. She had hurt him once, why should he ever forgive her and take another chance? Jake was a forever kind of guy. The marrying kind. Tye didn't kid herself. She wasn't the marrying type. The thought intruded; if Denny could do it, why couldn't she? When Denny had talked about the new man in her life Tye had sensed something different and wonderful in her friend. Denny was as much of a rolling stone as she was. Tye was ashamed to have felt envy. Out of all her friends, Denny deserved a good man in her life.
The door opened and the party in her living room spilled out onto the deck. Tye smiled as her friends' hooting and hollering broke the quiet of the night.
"It's a good thing I have a lenient landlord." Tye laughed, enjoying her friend’s antics. The night air touched her hair, gently pushing it back from her face.
"It helps when you invite him to the party," Jake said dryly. He reached up a hand and smoothed his fingers lightly over her cheek. "I'm sure your motive was to keep the peace between us."
The tenderness of the gesture caught Tye by surprise. "I've never been one for seeking peace," she assured him gravely. "You should know that, Jake."
"Some things never change," he said with a slight narrowing of his eyes.
"Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Sometimes changes are so subtle we miss them at first." Tye knew she had changed, she just wasn’t sure how to deal with all of it yet. "By the way, Jake. I have some news." Tye saw the sudden wariness on his face. "I heard of a new place in Oklahoma City that’s looking for different art exhibits to display."
"Really?" Wariness gave way to surprise. "I’ve been scouting around but I haven’t found a suitable place yet."
"Well, I was talking to a friend of a friend tonight. This new gallery has just received a sizable grant a
nd they’re setting up a permanent display area. It should hit the papers this week that they’re taking applications. I know you’re interested in a place to have your carvings on display. This might be the perfect opportunity."
"So you’ve been networking on my behalf," Jake said slowly.
"Sure. That’s what friends do." Tye deliberately used the word "friends" to gauge Jake’s reaction.
"And are we still friends?" he came back, one brow raised.
"I hope so, Jake." Fervently, Tye hoped they could remain friends, if nothing else. Tye felt anxiety flash through her when he didn't answer right away.
"I'll bet your friends were glad to see you back to your old self," he said finally, his gaze intent on her face.
Tye drew herself up. "Well, not quite my old self, but a close second. It was kind of awkward at first. They tried not to stare at my leg."
"It's human to be curious. I bet you handled it just fine."
Tye laughed with genuine amusement. "I surprised the heck out of them by rolling my pant leg up and letting them see my Star Wars technology." She had surprised herself. A month ago she couldn't have done that. "I believe I owe that in part to you, Jake." He started to shake his head, but she touched his arm. "Yes," she insisted. "If you hadn't treated me so normally, I might still be ultra-sensitive about letting anyone see it. I'll never forget that day I fell in the pool and you dried my prosthesis like it was a nothing out of the ordinary. I think that's when I started to heal a little bit." Self-conscious after having admitted so much to him, Tye turned to watch her friends and couldn't help but smile. "In a minute somebody will find the pool," she murmured. "That always happens. They'll all be in it."
On more than one occasion she had led the pack to a moonlit pool. Tye stood up, for a moment coming heartbreakingly close to Jake, breathing in a touch of aftershave and the unique scent that was Jake.
"I guess I'd better move back over there in case of drowning." Her voice came out oddly breathless, but then Jake had that effect on her.
"I'll come with you."
Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) Page 13