by Meg Ripley
****
The crowd in Orlando was huge; Ron had to change the venue a few days before the show because we’d sold it out as soon as it was announced and people were screaming about it. Fran had been fine playing the first show of the tour in Miami, but as soon as she got a glimpse of the crowd filling up the House of Blues, she’d gone white as a sheet of paper. “You get nervous?” she’d turned on her heel to face me, and instead of pale, her cheeks were bright red.
“So, what if I do?” she’d asked me tartly before brushing past me to the green room in the back. We were sharing that space, too—at least for about half the dates of the promotional tour, since the venues were smaller.
By the time I went back myself, she was nursing a beer, with a shot glass in her other hand. “Who wants to do round three?” she’d asked, looking around the room.
“I’ll catch up,” I told her, sitting down at the card table she’d claimed.
“Double for you first, then,” Fran had said, snagging the bottle of Fireball from her drummer, Jaime. She had poured—a little sloppy, but not enough to be a sign she was actually drunk already—and shoved the glass towards me.
“They’re doing shots together?” I’d rolled my eyes at Nick’s pretend-shocked question.
“We buried the hatchet, remember?” I knocked back the double and put the glass down.
“All right,” Fran had said, filling her shot glass and mine. “This is the last one before stage, by the way—at least for me.” We clinked shot glasses and knocked back their contents, and sure enough that was the last shot that I’d seen Fran take before Juniper Woolf went on stage, though she kept the beer going at a slow-but-steady pace.
I was shocked that she didn’t wobble or weave at all when it came time to go out; I followed the band a few feet behind and leaned against the wall to watch them play. It was the first time since coming to the agreement with the label about the “partnership” that I’d actually watched Juniper Woolf.
As opening acts went, they were pretty much top-notch. Fran threw herself into the performance and I couldn’t help but grin to myself at how completely nerve-shot she’d been only about an hour beforehand, white with her hands shaking. No one in the audience would ever have a clue that she was even the faintest bit nervous: between the bright green makeup on her face, the tight, low-cut clothes she wore, and the way she ran around, throwing glitter, singing into the microphone like a woman possessed by a pretty tuneful demon, nervousness would be the very last fucking thing anyone would accuse her of.
“This song,” she said, panting slightly still after a leap from the stacks, “is about heartbreak.” The crowd moaned in sympathy. “No! No, don’t feel bad for me,” Fran told the audience. “Feel bad for the guy I wrote it about, because he’s never…getting back…into my life…again.” Jaime counted off a beat and the band launched into an angry, churning, driving song that I faintly recognized; I’d heard it during sound check or something.
She’s actually not that bad, I thought, watching as Fran charged through the song, her voice staying strong in spite of cigarettes and pot and liquor and running. She’s got some pipes, that’s for damned sure. And when she’s not acting like a deranged Pekingese, she’s kind of cute. The thought shocked me; I knew I’d stopped outright hating Fran Chambers, but I hadn’t thought of her as cute until I’d seen her looking so nervous, so daunted by the prospect of the huge crowd. They’re going to make a killing in merch tonight. Probably should tell them when they come off to hang out at the gate, sign a few things—but fuck, they know that shit already. And anyway, all anyone in the audience is going to do is to try and hit on her. I didn’t know why that bothered me, but it did.
“Okay folks,” Fran said, coming to a stop in her antics at center stage. “This is going to be our last song.” She waited for the boos—which I thought more than half the crowd shouted—and grinned that little nose-wrinkling grin at them. “We know who you’re all really here for,” she added, putting her hands on her hips. “Who’s ready to hear Molly Riot?” The crowd shrieked, nearly blowing out my eardrums. “What was that? I asked: who’s here to see Molly Riot?” Another shriek from the audience, and I covered my ears; it was too fucking loud.
As soon as the shrieks started to die down a little, Fran nodded to the audience, lifting her hands in the air to quiet them down further. “Well, we’re looking forward to hearing Molly Riot, too,” she said. “So, this is our last song of the night!” Jaime had been counting in while Fran spoke, so as soon as she finished the band launched into their last song; with a mental groan, I realized it was the one they’d used to make the viral video that got them their contract with the label. But instead of just letting it grate on my nerves, I made myself actually listen to it. Not half bad, actually, once you get past the kitsch stuff, I thought, as Fran went through the chorus and into the second verse. From the point of view of structure, I couldn’t actually say the song sucked at all. Juniper Woolf milked the hell out of it, of course; Jaime played a tight, fast solo after the second chorus, leading into a breakdown as the rest of the band came in one by one. Fran reprised the first verse and then finally came around to the last verse and two more choruses, jumping up and down, getting the crowd to chant the words with her, working them into a frenzy. All at once, the song jolted to an end, the lights went out, and the audience screamed so loudly that I thought the walls would come down.
Fran brushed against me again as Juniper Woolf came off the stage; she was dripping with sweat, flushed all over from the roots of her cartoon hair to the collar of her shirt, grinning with the kind of thrilled, exultant pride that I knew too well. “Good set,” I told her with a grin.
“You bet your tight ass it was a good set,” she shot back, giving me a quick glance with her bright eyes before she followed the rest of the band back down the hall.
They had dispersed to the showers by the time I left the wing of the stage; the rest of Molly Riot were going through the usual pre-show psych-up: mostly comprised of chest-bumps, shit-talk, and the kind of punches a pack of brothers deals out like they give their girlfriends kisses. “We’re good on the set, right? Everyone’s on the same page?” I slapped Alex on the shoulder.
“Even if we’re not, we have this convenient list to look at,” Nick said, flourishing his copy.
“All right,” Alex said, loosening up his shoulders. “Juniper Woolf set ‘em up; let’s go knock ‘em down.”
We were about two songs in when I looked over at the wings; Fran was perched on a stool—she must have gotten one of the techs to grab it for her—and nodding her head along with Mark’s beat, her gaze moving over the stage in quick sweeps. When she caught me looking at her, she raised an eyebrow and lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug, looking totally unabashed. I smirked and looked down at my guitar, playing a particularly difficult run that worked with what the rest of the band was doing in a mid-song jam. I looked up and she was still watching me, a little ironic smirk on her lips.
I spent the rest of the set alternating between paying attention to the crowd and watching Fran watch me, like I was two different people trapped in one body. I showed off for her, I showed off for the fans, I showed off for myself; it all blended together in my brain as the sweat started pouring down my face, down my back, as my fingers moved on the guitar, as my foot tapped the beat. It was weird; I’d never really liked being watched from the wings—it was usually Nick or Alex who got the most attention, if someone was tagging along or backstage. But I guess I thought it was only fair for Fran to watch me after I’d spent the whole Juniper Woolf set watching her antics; and it was almost like I took it as a challenge to be wilder, more aggressive.
By the time the set ended we were all every bit as soaked in sweat as the band before us had been; I was tired—but restless at the same time. “No partying tonight, guys,” Hannah told us as we piled into the green room.
“What? You’re fucking kidding me!” Nick and Mark both scowled at Ron’s assistan
t. “We’re in fucking Orlando,” Nick added.
“We have to get across the damn country,” Hannah said matter-of-factly. “Load up the booze from the green room and party on the bus if you want to, but we’re getting on the road as soon as the crew gets everything packed up.” I shrugged it off; I’d be high for hours whether we went out or not, but at the moment, the only thing that mattered to me was getting a shower and some dry clothes on.
Juniper Woolf had disappeared; Hannah said that they’d gone to the front of the building to sign a few things and meet a few of the fans, milling around after the end of the show. “Dibs on shower!” I grabbed my backpack from the chair I’d left it in and headed in that direction, trying not to think of Fran flirting with a bunch of sweaty, boozed-up fans. She can take care of herself, I reminded myself. She’s played all over Palm Beach and Dade County. She knows how to handle it. But a different kind of question wriggled into my brain: She’s not going to bring some poor sap onto the bus with her, is she?
****
The bus was quiet; the rest of the guys had gone off to their bunks—first Alex, and then Nick, predictably to call their girlfriends before they passed out for the night, and then Dan, and finally Mark. The members of Juniper Woolf had disappeared at some point, too, though I couldn’t remember when. I reached over onto the table for my pack of cigarettes; it was empty.
“Fuck,” I muttered to myself. “That’s as good a cue to turn in as any, I guess.”
“I’ve got a couple of cigs left in this pack,” Fran said, stepping into the rec area. I nearly overturned the fucking ashtray at the sound of her voice; she snorted, waving the pack of Pall Malls and coming further into the room. I scrubbed at my face; I was still maybe half-drunk, but my temples were already starting to throb with the hangover I’d have in a few hours. Fran threw herself into the chair next to mine, and I took in the sight of her; she’d changed clothes at some point after getting on the bus, into a pajama set that seemed designed to be demure and alluring at the same time: a pair of loose, soft-looking shorts that just barely covered the curve of her ass, paired with a matched spaghetti-strap top that clung to her tits, the hem floating around her hips. If it were an inch or two longer, it’d look like she wasn’t wearing shorts at all. It’s a bit chilly in here, I thought, noticing the sight of her nipples straining at the fabric of her shirt.
“Thanks,” I said, when Fran took one cigarette out of the pack and handed it to me. “Note to the wise: the more often you change clothes, the sooner you’re out of clothes.”
“I know,” Fran said, lighting a cig of her own. “But I can wear pajamas a few times over.” I took a drag of smoke and considered for a moment.
“So, how was autograph signing?” I kept looking at her legs—smooth, longer than I would have thought they’d be, toned. Bet they’re warm to…especially along the thigh…the inner thigh…right before you get to… I gave myself a shake; why was I thinking about that shit?
“Same as it is down south,” Fran said with a shrug. She flicked an ash into the ashtray.
“I didn’t see anyone bringing a fan on the bus,” I observed.
“Jaime might later on; he doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Fran said. “Nate does. Kieran actually has a boyfriend.”
“And you?” I raised an eyebrow, wondering why I was even curious.
“It’s not worth it,” Fran told me with a shrug. “I mean yeah—sure, getting laid is nice. But if a dude has sex with a bunch of groupies, he’s a stud. A woman has sex with a bunch of groupies?” she shook her head. “She’s a slut who’s only onstage because she wants the attention but isn’t confident enough to be a stripper.”
“And I’ve already started the whole ‘Fran Chambers is an attention-whore’ bandwagon,” I added, nodding slowly. “Yeah I can see it. So, what do you do?”
“About getting laid? Nothing,” Fran said with a shrug.
“Seriously? You’re going to go three months without having sex with anyone?” Fran snorted.
“There are these things called vibrators,” she said, giving me a little look. “And if I’m out of batteries, I have my own hands.” She waved one of them, wriggling the fingers.
“It’s not the same,” I countered—and wondered why I was arguing the point. You’re drunker than you think. Even if you did want to fuck her brains out, even if she wanted you to, you probably can’t even get it up anyway.
“Of course not,” Fran said, dismissing the idea and flicking another ash into the tray. “But it’s good enough to keep from jumping someone’s bones at random.” I laughed.
“Is that something you’re afraid of doing?” I raised an eyebrow. “Might do you some good to jump someone’s bones at random.”
“Can’t do it with anyone in my band,” Fran pointed out, ticking off one finger on her free hand. “Then there’s the problem with the groupies.” She shrugged. “So, who does that leave?”
“Crew,” I answered. “Members of the other band you’re touring with.”
“Alex and Nick have girlfriends,” Fran countered. “Mark…thanks, but no thanks.”
“That leaves Dan and me,” I pointed out.
“It’d be stupid,” Fran told me, shaking her head. “Same reason I can’t go randomly using Jaime for sex when I feel like it—we’re too close.”
“Are we now? I mean, sure: we spend time together. We’re on a bus together. But it’s not like we really know all that much about each other.”
“It’ll get too complicated,” Fran said, taking another drag of her cig.
“Not if we don’t let it.”
“You actually want to have sex with me?” Fran’s eyes widened as she stared at me, an amused smile playing at the corners of her lips. “You do!” she realized a second later that she’d nearly shrieked the words and glanced at the entry into the rec room. “You do?”
“It passes time,” I pointed out. “And it’ll keep you from having to rely on a vibrator or your fingers to keep from jumping some random guy’s bones—or just his boner.” Fran rolled her eyes.
“You hated me until like…yesterday,” she pointed out.
“I didn’t hate you,” I told her. “I talked shit about you. I also talk shit about Nick with his baby-boy blue eyes and reformed slut lifestyle.” I shrugged. “Think I hate him?”
“That’s different, though,” Fran said, shaking her head yet again. “He’s your bud, your band mate.”
“Right—so obviously if I’d hated you, I just wouldn’t talk about you at all. I’d refuse to.” I grinned.
“Just how badly do you want to get into my pants?” Fran shifted in her chair, looking at me intently.
“I’m just making a suggestion,” I told her. “I mean—if you prefer your vibrator to having sex with an actual person, who am I to judge?” I held up one of my hands. “Palmela here’s gotten me through some tough times.” For a second, Fran just stared at me. And then she busted out laughing, her head falling forward, her tits shaking with it.
“Do you really call your hand Palmela?” she asked me between gasps for breath as she continued to laugh. “Do you buy her flowers, Jules?” I rolled my eyes.
“Whatever,” I said, picking up the half-empty beer I’d forgotten I was drinking when she came into the room. “Suit yourself.”
“Oh—now I’ve hurt your feelings,” Fran said, shifting in her chair once more and leaning closer to me. “I’m sorry, Jules. If it makes you feel any better, my vibrator’s name is Angelo.”
“Angelo?” I snorted. “Seriously?”
“I don’t, like, moan its name of anything,” Fran said, rolling her eyes. “But I figured: guys name their dicks, right?” she shrugged. “Why not give my pocket cock a name?”
“Guys name their dicks?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, come on, don’t even tell me you’re going to act like you never gave your dick a name,” Fran said, tilting her head and giving me a significant look.
“Maybe when I was like, fi
fteen. As a joke.” I shook my head again.
“What did you name it?” Fran’s eyes glittered.
“Stubbs McGee,” I told her jokingly.
“Oh, so he’s an Irish lad then, is he? Or is he Scottish?” Fran looked like she was about to double over with laughter. Fuck, I wish she would… I could just picture the movement sending her tits tumbling over the top of her pajama top.
“You could meet him and find out,” I said, smirking slightly. My mouth felt dry. I took another sip of my beer.
“And now we’re back to you wanting to have sex with me,” Fran said; but her voice was lower, almost a murmur.
“Only if you want to,” I said, setting my beer aside; it wasn’t doing a damn thing for my dry mouth. Fran took a slow, deep breath, pressing her lips together. “If you’re not interested, then I can just find my bunk and get some sleep. Long day of traveling tomorrow, after all.” I started to get up out of the chair; Fran lifted a hand to stall me.
“What if I am interested? Just…hypothetically.” Her cheeks lit up with a red-pink blush.
“You can blush?” I grinned. “After all the comments about my cock and your vibrator…” Fran rolled her eyes.
“Shut up,” she said, even as her blush deepened. “Normally I’m not the one asking for sex, okay?”
“I made the first offer,” I pointed out.
“Maybe we could start off with making out,” Fran suggested. “See where it goes?” I licked my lips and patted the arm of the chair.
“Come over here, then.” Fran hesitated—just for an instant—and then stood, glancing behind her at the entrance into the rec room. “Everyone’s passed out by now,” I told her quietly. “As long as you don’t scream my name or something, it’s not like anyone will know.”
Fran took the final step closer to me and began to bend forward, leaning in to kiss me. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her onto my lap instead, and she yelped in surprise. I snickered. “I thought I said you had to be quiet and not wake them up,” I murmured, my lips only inches away from hers.