by Naomi Niles
“They really didn’t skimp on this, did they?” He motioned to the table with its perfectly folded napkins and chocolate fountain. “Almost makes me wish we could have one of these every day.”
“I, for one, will be glad when it’s over,” said Zack, echoing my own feelings. “I can’t wait to go home and get out of this uniform, maybe play some Mario Kart.” I had an odd feeling he was trying to make himself sound lazier than he really is. If I had to guess, he would be working on his secret book all night.
“Same,” said Carson, setting the pear down on a corner of the table and picking up a piece of dark chocolate. “If I wasn’t here, I’d probably be chilling in my apartment eating a frozen pizza. One of those gross, messy pizzas you can get in the freezer aisle at Wal-Mart for like two dollars, that come out of the oven just dripping in grease.”
“Okay, now you’re making me hungry,” said Zack, walking over and grabbing a paper plate off the stack. “If they actually served those pizzas here instead of whatever this is, it might have been worth getting out of bed for.”
“You mean you don’t like eating mini peppers stuffed with goat cheese or whatever the hell this is?” asked Carson sarcastically. He shook his head and made a tsk-ing noise with his tongue. “And I thought I knew you.”
“There’s only so much you can learn about a man when you’re forced to eat the same meal together every day for ten months.” Zack bit the end off of a stuffed pepper, made a disgusted look, and scraped it onto my plate. “Kelli, if you thought the Congo was bad, you should’ve eaten with us in Libya.”
“Was it really that bad?” I asked Carson.
Carson took a bite of his pear. “Let’s just say I won’t complain if I never have to eat Spam again in my life.”
“Almost makes me appreciate the salmon cakes,” said Zack, spearing a white cheese cube with a toothpick and putting it in his mouth. In the process, he jostled me with his elbow, and the fizzy drink went flying out of my hands onto the carpet.
“Sorry about that,” said Zack, throwing the stain on the carpet a regretful look. “Damn good drink.”
“At least there’s plenty more of it,” said Carson. “Anyway, what’ve you got going on tonight? Wanna come over and play Smash Bros.?”
I had rather hoped that Zack would be coming back to my place. I turned back to the refreshments, trying not to make it obvious that I was listening to his response. I filled one of the smaller plates with cheddar cheese cubes and dark chocolate, and then, because my appetite for that sparkling drink was insatiable, I grabbed a second cup. But my hands must still have been slippery from when Zack jostled me, for the cup slipped out of my fingers the second I picked it up. Fizzy amber-colored liquid spilled all over the front of my dress.
I swore under my breath, and for a second it was hard to see clearly because I was so mortified. Zack and Carson were still talking about getting together that night and didn’t seem to have noticed what had happened. I murmured an apology and ran to the back of the room, toward the restrooms.
There, I surveyed the damage. It was even worse than I’d feared: the liquid had soaked through the top of the dress, exposing my blue bra to public view. I swore again, loudly, and slammed my fist against the mirror as if thinking my reflection was somehow to blame for what had happened.
All at once, I was transported back to my first year in high school. I was fifteen, and we had just returned from Somalia where I had spent most of my childhood. Things like Nintendo and going to the movies with friends on a Friday night and deodorant were foreign concepts. And I remembered sitting in the cafeteria on the first day and crying because the other girls had done up their hair in lovely braids, or had cut it fashionably short with bleached blond highlights, and I had no idea how to wear mine, and it was just a long, tangled mess. And there were stains on the front of my dress and a mysterious smell followed me everywhere and no one wanted to sit next to me.
When Zack knocked on the door of the bathroom about twenty minutes later, I was sitting in one of the stalls, crying.
“You okay, shortbread?” I heard him say. “I don’t want to come all the way in there because I don’t want to get in trouble, but when you didn’t answer my texts I thought I ought to come check on you.”
“I’m fine,” I said, though the lump in my voice instantly gave me away. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
When I emerged into the hallway leading back into the main room, I found him standing there waiting for me.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“It’s this,” I said, motioning to the front of my shirt. “I didn’t want to come out because I didn’t want to embarrass you. I was afraid this was going to happen, because it always happens, because I’m such a screw-up and I can’t seem to go anywhere without embarrassing myself. And I just wish—”
I paused, my eyes drawn to a shiny gold medal pinned on the front of his uniform that hadn’t been there thirty minutes before.
“Zack,” I said, my face burning with guilt and shame. “You didn’t tell me you were getting a medal.”
“Well, I wasn’t exactly going to brag about it,” said Zack, though he puffed his chest out proudly. “Anyway, the real prize was the jealous looks on the faces of all those guys when they saw us together. You know when you were down in the Congo, half of ‘em were scheming ways to get you in their beds. But none of ‘em did.”
“So maybe it’s your safety I should be worried about.” I placed my arm in his and led him out of the hall, beginning to feel better. “Why didn’t you invite your family?”
“They couldn’t make it,” said Zack, “but I’m flying back home to Texas in a couple weeks, and they wanted me to let you know you were welcome to come along. We’d have to find a place for you to sleep, but it’s no big deal. My mama would love to have you.”
I nodded eagerly, tears springing back into my eyes but not from sorrow. “Yeah, I’d love to go. I haven’t spent a lot of time in Texas.”
“You think you could get off work?”
“Yeah, I’m sure I can talk my boss into letting me work remotely for a few weeks.”
When we got back to the table I draped one of the cloth napkins over the bodice of my dress. It was a slightly more off-white color than the dress itself, but no one made a big deal out of it, and I spent most of the reception with my body pressed close to Zack’s. We danced some old-timey dances while a brass band played Miller and Fitzgerald.
I drank another three cups of the fizzy drink, and by the end of the night I couldn’t tell if I was floating because of the alcohol or because I was drunk on the lights and applause and music. It felt like one of those nights we had every so often in college where me and a couple of friends stayed out until all hours watching the stars glitter in the night sky and celebrating the fact that we were here for this short moment.
I was reminded of that on the way home as I rested my head on Zack’s arm and stroked his rough skin. I liked the feel of him next to me, his scent and warmth. Every now and then, I was thrilled just to discover anew that he existed at all.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Zack
First thing I did when I woke up the next morning was to text Kelli. I’d started doing it a few days ago, and now it was becoming a morning habit.
Hey doll, I said,
Thanks again for joining me yesterday. I know it took a lot of courage to walk into that room, but I hope it was worth it. Bonus: you made me the envy of every man there. [kiss-and-wink emoji]
She texted back while I was putting in my contacts:
Thanks for that. I’m still wondering if I should have gone. I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much.
I texted her back as soon as I had finished:
Hey, what are you on about? Any man there would’ve been lucky to have you as a date. You didn’t embarrass me at all, silly. If anything, you made me look better.
I kept the phone in one hand as I brushed my teeth and washed my mouth out wit
h mouth wash. Kelli wrote back:
If you say so. I don’t always know how I come across to others, so it’s nice that there’s someone I can trust who doesn’t think I’m a complete idiot.
To which I replied:
Baby, I think the world of you.
I waited a few minutes to see if she would respond, but she never did.
I was running low on breakfast items, so I made myself a milkshake and fried up the last of the sausages in the skillet. There was no use going out and buying more groceries when I’d be leaving in a few days for my mother’s. They hadn’t always been the greatest parents, but one thing they had excelled at was making sure we were well-fed. I was looking forward to sitting down to another one of her breakfasts.
After my morning workout, I threw on a blue Polo shirt and a pair of khakis and went over to Carson’s apartment.
“IT’S OPEN!” I heard him holler the moment I knocked.
I found him lying on the couch in the living room with a comforter wrapped around his waist; he was naked from at least the waist up. “Cover your eyes for a sec,” he said as he sat slowly up. “I need to throw some pants on.”
“God, Carson, couldn’t you have done that before you told me to come in?” I replied.
But Carson didn’t seem phased by my complaints. “What are you all dressed up for?” he asked as he wriggled into his blue jeans. “You and Kelli about to go golfing?”
“Carson, you and I were supposed to go golfing,” I said, trying my level best not to sound irritated. Being friends with Carson could be exasperating at times. “Remember, we started planning it before we even left Libya?”
“I wish I could go, man,” said Carson, fumbling around in his pockets for his phone and finding it on the coffee table. “I’ve got things I’ve gotta do this morning. You’re welcome to come along if you want.”
“What things?”
Carson glanced around as if afraid of being overheard, despite the fact that the apartment was empty. “So I was making out with some chick last night, and she stole my wallet.”
I stared as if I hadn’t heard him correctly. “She stole your wallet while you were making out? Like a pickpocket?”
“I went out to Murphy’s Bar and met this beautiful girl, Kayleigh. She’s young and funny, and she seemed really into me, and we got to talking and I asked her if she wanted to come back to my place. We came up here and messed around for a bit, and I think she must’ve slipped something into my drink, because when I woke up it was early morning, Kayleigh was gone, and I couldn’t find my wallet.”
“She drugged you?” I shouted.
Carson glared coolly at me, his ears burning red. “Didn’t say I was proud of it.”
“Well, how are we supposed to find this girl? Do you know anything about her, other than her name? If that even is her name?”
“Yeah, I know some things about her,” said Carson, sounding offended. “I know where she goes to school. I think I might drive over there and hang out in the gym until she gets out of class. You wanna come with?”
“You sure this is a good idea?” I asked as I followed him downstairs to his car. “If this girl thinks you’re stalking her, she could call the police.”
“Let her!” Carson shouted. “I’ll tell ‘em the bitch stole my wallet.”
I made a series of quick mental calculations. Carson was going to stake her out whether I came along or not. But at least if I went with him, I could keep the situation from escalating and maybe save him from going to jail.
I didn’t even bother to ask where we were going, figuring we would probably end up at some community college in the Bronx. So naturally I was surprised a few minutes later when we pulled up outside of Fillmore Public High School.
“Carson,” I said slowly. “Carson, I think there’s been a mistake. This is a public high school.”
“Yeah,” said Carson, putting the car into park. “And it’s just about lunch time, so she ought to be getting out of class soon.”
An odd sensation of panic came over me as I followed Carson across the commons toward the gym in the center of campus. Carson hadn’t shaved in a few days, and he looked much older than his twenty-three years. “Hey, don’t you think we need a visitor’s pass for this?” I said quietly, trying not to draw more attention to us than we were already getting.
“Alright, you go to the principal’s office and tell ‘em we’re here to find this girl who stole my money,” muttered Carson.
I followed along a few feet behind him as he pulled open the door of the gym and went inside. I could hear the scrape of sneakers on the basketball court, and for a moment I was transported back to my own high school days. With a pang of guilt, I remembered how I had turned down Sergeant Armstrong’s offer. If I accepted the position I would be going around to schools just like this one, talking to young men about how they could better themselves by serving their country. Being back here was almost enough to make me reconsider.
Clear at the other end of the gym, a couple of boys were shooting hoops. Carson, who had no sense of shame at all, ran straight up to them. “Hey, you mind if we join you?” he asked.
“No, not at all,” said a lank, mop-haired guy who couldn’t have been older than sixteen. “Two against two?”
“Me and Zack against you and your buddy,” said Carson. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Heath.” He motioned to his friend, who was at least a foot shorter but spectacularly built. “This is Tony.”
We got to playing, and I think for a few minutes Carson forgot why we had come, he was so caught up in the game. We’d spent so many hours out on the court in the last year or two that we won the first game, and the second, without a lot of effort. At some point, we stopped scoring and started playing just for the joy of it. Tony and Heath, who had looked annoyed at first, now watched us with a begrudging sense of awe.
“Where you guys from?” Tony asked when we’d been playing for about twenty minutes and had worked up a good sweat.
“We just got back from Libya,” I told him, tossing the ball and sinking it effortlessly into the net. “We’re both SEALS who somehow made it through four years of deployment without drowning or dying of exhaustion or getting our legs blown off.”
“Oh, yeah?” Heath swept his long, wavy hair out of his face. “Were you on SEAL Team Six?”
“Are you one of the guys who caught bin Laden?” asked Tony. Turning to Heath, he added, “Did you know The Rock’s brother was one of the guys who helped catch bin Laden? And The Rock found out about it before anybody else.”
“No way!” Heath exclaimed, turning to look at us with his eyes aglow.
“No, we weren’t with those guys,” I replied. “We were fighting terrorists in the deserts and jungles of Africa.”
“I’ll tell you somethin,’” said Tony in his thick Bronx accent. “I’ve actually been thinkin’ about joining the Navy. I really appreciate what you guys do over there. I heard a SEAL speak recently at a Fourth of July celebration, and it made me feel like maybe I haven’t done enough to support my country.”
“Well, if you stay in school and get a good education,” I told him, “you’ll be serving your country just fine.” Reaching into my pocket and pulling out a pen and a loose sheet of paper, I added, “Tell you what? Why don’t I give you my number, and you call me if you ever need to talk about this?”
I wrote down my number and handed it to him. “Thanks, man,” he said, grinning shyly, as he folded it up and tucked it away in his shoe. (“It’ll fall out of my shorts pocket,” he explained, as the rest of us watched him curiously).
At that point, two policemen entered the gym, having apparently been warned that there were a couple of older guys walking around campus without permission and questioned us for a few minutes before asking us to leave. But even the humiliation of being escorted off-campus by the school police wasn’t enough to dampen my spirits.
“Did you see that?!” I shouted as we climbed into Carson
’s car. “Those kids were fascinated. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tony ends up joining the Navy.”
“I told you you ought to have taken the recruiting position,” said Carson. “Now you’re recruiting, and you don’t even mean to.”
Carson seemed to have accepted the fact that his wallet was gone forever, though he hadn’t ruled out hanging around Murphy’s that night to see if Kayleigh showed up. “Just don’t do anything crazy while I’m gone,” I told him as we stood out on the green an hour later, clubs in hand.
“Are you really leaving?” Carson asked.
“I am. I’m heading out tomorrow, and I’m taking Kayleigh—I mean, Kelli—with me for a couple weeks. Just so you can’t hit on her in my absence.”
“Dang, I was really looking forward to that,” muttered Carson, and he took another swing with his club.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kelli
I woke up that morning to a couple of texts from Zack.
I liked texting with him because his messages were consistently kind and encouraging, and I invariably felt better about myself after reading them. I sat at the dining-room table reading over them while Renee cooked breakfast. I think she had this weird idea that we spent all our time sexting each other, but there was nothing in our conversations to scandalize my mother. He was just…sweet. He was my Zack.
“So,” I said to Renee as she scrambled eggs in the skillet, “I’m leaving for Texas tomorrow afternoon.”
“Oh yeah? Do you need me to drive you to the airport?”
“No, I’m not going on an assignment or anything. Zack invited me to go home with him for a few weeks.”
“A few weeks?” Renee beat her spatula repeatedly against the side of the skillet, then set it down on the counter and looked at me.
“Yeah, he wants me to meet the rest of the family. Apparently, they’re farmers who live out in the country, which isn’t what I’d have expected from someone like Zack. He’s the most sophisticated one of the bunch. He’s got three brothers, and from what he tells me they’re all completely different.”