“Maja, take your sister to your room.” Aunt Sera said.
Thankfully, her uncle and Ravi were not present. Aunt Sera motioned for Ionia to join them in the kitchen and pressed her finger to her thumb. “Privacy.”
Instantly, the sound of the traffic, people outdoors, the kid’s shouts, and footsteps were silent. Her aunt looked at her mom, who waved a palm at her.
“Ionia. Dear,” Sera said. “I—we have some things to tell you.” Her aunt wiped her hands on a dishtowel and swallowed so hard her throat jerked.
Ionia’s shoulders bunched. “Just tell me.”
“When you were small, I don’t know how much Ana’s told you, but you had a serious case of nupox.”
“I remember.” It was like a nightmare more than a memory. Her skin had burned so hot, she’d wanted to rip it off. Even at three, she remembered screaming to die. To stop the burning. Stop the pain.
“You were so small. I didn’t know what to do.” Sera looked away and toyed with the knife on the cutting board for a beat, then looked back at Ionia.
“Your mom took you to every specialist, tried every conventional cure. Nothing worked.”
“Nothing usually does,” Ionia said. “Nupox is fatal. I was an anomaly. A medical miracle.” Her dad had hugged her for what felt like three days and nearly squashed her telling her over and over how special she was. His little miracle. Her mom had remained quiet but never left her side.
“You weren’t an anomaly. You were an experiment,” Sera said.
The freefall sinking feeling in her stomach finally found a bottom.
“That’s not true. My mom—you,” Ionia turned to her mom, “would never allow human experimentation. That was banned a hundred years ago. Any treatments have to go through years of virtual study before used in practice.”
Her mother hushed her and spoke. “There was no other way. Sera was a mech-microbiologist and had some new invention that’s still years from approval. She risked everything to help you.”
“What exactly did you do to me, and what does it have to do with my eye?” A deep rumbling started inside her head, like a boulder of truth careening toward her, ready to smash into her and destroy everything she believed. She kinda wanted to hide under the kitchen counter, cover her ears, and chant until the storm passed. But she couldn’t. She was an adult now. Almost an adult. She had to deal with facts.
Ionia tilted her chin up and stared at them, waiting. Aunt Sera gave her mom a sidelong glance, and her mom nodded, her face as stony and unreadable as usual.
“I infused your blood with nanobots. They are exactly the size and shape of white blood cells. Human white blood cells can’t fight nupox. It changes form too fast. My nanobots change as quickly as they can. It’s just, I hadn’t had time to test them in any real-life situations.”
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Her mother’s voice sounded almost guilty. “Do you have questions?”
Her face had softened. She actually appeared concerned. It was still weird to see such emotion on her mother. Ionia had dealt with resting-bitch-face for seventeen years. This new and improved mom still unnerved her. The news unnerved her. This strange and unwelcoming place unnerved her.
Ionia put a hand on the counter to steady herself and took a deep breath. Her mom and aunt had saved her life. But they had lied. Her mom had lied for years. Ionia pushed the feelings down and picked one of the million and five questions running through her mind.
“Is that why the new eye didn’t work?”
“The nanobots are reacting as if the replacement is an invader. I need to find a work around.” Aunt Sera narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips together as if she was attempting to see inside of Ionia.
“So I may never be normal again?” The reality boulder kept getting bigger and bigger. The idea she could not get a replacement hadn’t even seemed possible in the time of stem cell regen.
“We’re not saying that,” her mom said. “We just have to be careful. Very careful.” Her mom’s jaw moved as if she had a piece of food she’d forgotten to chew. She only did that when she was upset and was about to lose her mind.
“The scanners sixteen years ago couldn’t detect them. Some now can. The nanobots were nearly perfect, but with all the new AI restrictions and full body replacement and all this marking foolishness. Well, they may consider you—”
“Non-human.” Ionia finished the sentence.
The boulder hit and shattered in her mind. Did she feel different now that she was part machine? It was common on CONUS to have replacement everything, but somehow NAR and all its territories had more prejudice. And even more than was obvious from the news that escaped the country.
“So you knew this, yet you brought me here to Hate Central. Why not just go to a doc in CONUS? I know they have the tech.” She wanted something she could hold on to, something real. This all felt like a story someone was telling. Some wacky, unfunny story about someone else.
“The reason we couldn’t get a transplant anywhere else is that it would expose Sera, and honestly, we’re not sure how the bots would react with a transplant, and Sera’s the world’s expert.”
Sera ran the med scanner over Ionia again. “This is the most advanced hand scanner available.” She glanced at the display. “Fifteen percent non-organic. You should be fine in most territories. But unfortunately not here. If we don’t report you as partial non-organic, and they find you…You will be ambushed and drag you in. Maybe even tag you.”
“Keep the jacket on when you go outdoors,” her aunt continued. “It shields you from basic detection. Once the eye is replaced, the nanobots will become less active and revert to normal white blood cell activity, and unless you go through a high-level scanner, you should be safe until you can leave.”
“Well, the real eye didn’t take. What now?”
“I have a few friends who are working on suppressing the immune response,” Sera said.
“But what if that doesn’t work?” A claw of pressure speared Ionia’s chest because she knew what was coming.
“Mechanical,” her aunt said in a flat voice. “Don’t look at me like that. It wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen.”
“Now, let’s not jump to last resorts,” her mom said. From her tone, it was clear mechanical was not an acceptable solution.
It wasn’t a bad thing, inherently. Millions of people who could not afford a bio-identical replacement got mechanical.
The problem was so many got them for pure enhancement or to break the law. There was always a stigma to going mech. Anyone with a noticeable amount of enhancement became a sub or a cyborg.
That’s why most of the world used scanning stations before contests and had anti-mech technology to protect their homes. It was a tricky subject. Mainland CONUS was the most accepting, the most forward in appointing inalienable rights to their non-humans.
But if droids had it bad, subs had it worse. Being a sub equaled being less than human or droid.
More questions spun through her head, but she couldn’t narrow them down. She was angry and afraid and worried. She wanted to crawl under a bed and hide until everyone stopped looking at her with those big, concerned eyes.
The most important questions crowded up from the dark swirl in her brain. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
For the last six months, since she’d rescued her mom from the crazy Mac Town magistrate anyway, they had established an uneasy peace, consciously avoiding subjects that would trigger a fight.
But this... This was big. Like monstrously huge.
This affected her life, her future, her health, but her mother hadn’t had the decency to tell her even when those crazy patrol drones had targeted her. The old anger bloomed like a nuclear cloud. “They could have grabbed me like they did Den, but you didn’t feel the need to tell me what you’d done to me?”
“It’s not like that, Ionia.” Her mom stepped toward her. Ionia cringed from her touch.
The front door popped ope
n, and Ravi slammed into the living area. Because Privacy was enabled, it was like watching the world as a deaf person. Sera clicked the hand control, and sound returned with Ravi in mid-sentence. “—the hell did you and the droid do? The whole square is talking about you and your pet.”
Her mother leaned close to Ionia’s ear and said, “We’ll discuss this later.”
“Why?” Ionia jerked back. “So you can lie to me again? Or not tell me the whole truth?”
“Looks like we have a floor show here as well.” Ravi sneered at them, his dark eyes fixed on Ionia and her mom.
“Ravi. Go check on your sisters, and leave Ionia and Aunt Ana alone,” Sera said.
His shoulders stooped slightly as he exited down the hall. Sera was harder on him than the girls. From what Ionia had seen, he deserved it.
“Ionia, I’d be happy to answer any of your questions after you’ve had a chance to rest and think.” Sera leaned forward and tilted her head to the side in a kind of conspiratorial way.
“Yeah, fine.” Ionia forced a plastic smile on her face. It wasn’t her aunt’s fault that her mom was horrible. Her aunt had saved her life, and she appreciated it. But fighting the anger and whole mix of strange, unsettling emotions made polite interactions a herculean task. “I want to go upstairs with Den. I need some time.”
“Sure go. I’ll deal with Baran.” Sera said.
Ionia’s mom flashed her tight-lipped, pissed look but didn’t interfere.
Den’s attention, as usual, was locked on her. She’d known him long enough that his placid, droid stoicism didn’t fool her. His eyes narrowed, searching her face for a reaction to all that had happened. What did he see? It must have been bad because he quickly joined her, and they took the stairs up to her room and sat together on the bed.
A strong breeze that held the hint of a storm chilled the room. In the darkness, she could see the outline of the black clouds blocking out the moon. The whole scene was flat, and she had to turn her head to get a good look. Back to seeing through one eye again, maybe forever.
“Lights,” Den said. The room lit up with harsh unfiltered light, making everything seem over saturated. Or maybe it was her remaining eye taking on the strain of all the seeing again.
“No. No lights.” What was the point? She just wanted to sit next to Den and let her insides settle.
“Lights off,” Den said. The illumination snuffed out instantly at Den’s command. “Would you like my assistance cleansing your face?”
“Sure.”
From the bathroom, he produced a soft cloth with some antiseptic smelling soap. She closed both her eyes and let him work. The soft strokes soothed her, and his gentle touch didn’t aggravate the injury. Den. Perfect as ever.
“Would you like to discuss what occurred?” Den asked.
“No.” Talking about it would only make it worse. The horrible potential futures. She could see no path that would lead her to any sort of happy. Well, there was Den. There would always be Den.
And he would be saddled with her. Pure droids had rights in most countries.
Subs? Not so much.
There was always a perception that they had chosen the life–that they wanted to be better than normal by whatever means necessary. She had even thought that before all this. Now their plight seemed beyond tragic.
Den finished cleaning her skin and sat down beside her again. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in. She breathed in his scent.
She was always surprised at how good he smelled, musky and masculine, another genius move by the design team. No hair or freckle forgotten. His only flaw was his devotion to her.
“I really thought things were going to be okay,” Ionia said, her voice breaking slightly.
“They are.” Den gave her arm a small squeeze. “We are going to get through this together.” He paused for a full breath, then added. “As a couple.”
She almost jerked away from the pain of that statement. “I thought that was possible. That we could make a go of it. I thought it didn’t matter that you were a droid. That because I was fully human, we could travel anywhere and do anything.”
How would she even survive? She had thought she could find work as an artist. If she got a mech implant, she might be able to do art, but would she still see the same way? Or would her perception turn cold? And if she refused the implant, she could never truly be an artist.
“I’m sorry. I do not understand.” He looked at her intensely, and she felt the slight warmth of his scanner running over her.
“You would be more accepted without me. In CONUS, AI droids have full citizenship.”
“There is still much unrest in the country. Regardless, I will go wherever you go. My happiness lies with you.” He ran a hand down her back, instantly making her skin prickle with sensation.
It would be so easy to lean in and kiss him and let him hold her until she went to sleep. But easy wasn’t right. She wanted to hold him close because she felt safe with him. But he had no say in this. It had been ordained by those talented CONUS scientists who made him.
Ravi was 1000 percent right. Den would always choose her. He was a slave, a willing slave, but a slave nonetheless.
And it wasn’t fair. She had chosen him, but he’d never chosen her. A giant claw of pain tore at her chest, digging into the soft tissue of her heart. If she didn’t do it now, while the feeling was fresh, she wouldn’t do it. She would continue leaning on him, looking to him, using him. Especially now that she was going to essentially be crippled, both in body and society. He couldn’t even determine what he wanted. He’d never had a chance. But now he would.
“You have to go.” Her heart stopped beating, and she kept her eyes closed.
“Where would you have me go? Do you need something from the marketplace? Would you like me to sleep in a different part of the house?”
“No. You need to go. Away from me and live and find out what you really want. It’s not fair.” Her voice warbled, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care if she looked a fool or if she ever got a new eye.
She didn’t want to do this, but she had to do it. She dropped her head and closed her eyes and waited for her soul to slither into a tar pit of agony.
“Ionia.” He grasped her chin and forced her to look up at him again. She couldn’t see much in the darkened room with her one good eye, but she saw enough. She saw his face twist, his lips turn down hard, and his forehead line.
Her pain increased, and she jerked away from him, pulling her arms around her stomach and pressing her lips together. “You have to go. Be really free. I-I…order you.”
“You can’t order me, remember? I have free will.” He spoke to her like she was a spooked child after a nightmare, but this was real. The panic threatened to return, and she pushed it away. She needed to do this for him. He’d done everything for her. Given everything. She could do this, but by all the gods in Asgard, it was like losing her eye all over again, or having someone take her heart out and stomp on it.
“I don’t want you here. Leave,” she said.
“Ionia, I need to be here. I need to protect you.”
“You’re just making it worse. I’m perfectly safe here. Get out. Go away. I need time.”
“When can I return?”
That was her breaking point.
She pushed back the tears and fought to talk. “Listen. You need to find a real life. Get a hobby. Do something other than cater to me.”
“But why? I enjoy your company. Ionia. Please.” Her touched her chin and tilted it up so she was forced to look into those perfect, blue eyes again. “Let’s just rest tonight. We can talk more tomorrow.”
Her soul cried yes. Selfish soul.
Why was she sending him away when all she wanted to do was keep him close to her? She was doing it for him, the tiny voice in her head said. Yet, she was causing him pain. She could see it even with her messed up vision. This had to end. But she didn’t have the strength. Not after everything.
/> If he wanted to stay, she’d let him.
“You can stay if you want.” She took a breath, held it, then said, “But it’s just…You never had a chance to discover what you want. You never had a chance to choose me. How can I know if you love me or if it’s just your programming? How can you know?” She wanted to grab him and take him in her arms and smooth those lines in his forehead, but she didn’t. She stood like a statue staring at him without seeing him.
She had no emotions left. Hurting Den was the last thing she’d wanted to do. Now literally everything in her life was messed up.
He stood for a long time, processing. “As you say, mistress.” His voice drained of warmth. It sounded like an automated response. His head faced down and away. He moved slowly across the floor, his shoulder brushed against the doorframe. “Excuse me,” he said as if the door could understand and then continued down the hall to the stairs.
Everything in her wanted to run after him, to hug him from behind. But who was she but a broken half-human, a sub who had forced his affections, stolen his existence?
Maybe she would see him again. Maybe not. Maybe he’d wise up and not return. A raging grief dug into her. Without him, she had no confidant, no affection, no protection. She’d lost everything. Best friend, boyfriend, and protector. All gone.
The panic, a dark fanged beast in her chest, threatened to rip her apart. Her breathing grew shallow as tiny threads of her heart were peeled off and consumed by the beast.
She slammed the door and fell onto the bed. She could think of absolutely nothing that would make it better. Well, maybe one thing.
“Den?” She said his name as if that would bring him back. But he was gone.
***
Den replayed the scene for the seventeenth time. Something had happened with her family that had triggered this response. But no matter how many scenarios he created, he could not ascertain what. He and Ionia had been together and happy, and now they weren’t. He walked aimlessly in the street in the twilight, hiding the mark on his hand and keeping his head down to avoid any accidental incidents.
He should have convinced Ionia that he wanted to be with her. No—needed to be with her. But that would have only strengthened her argument that he had been predisposed to choose her above all else.
Vagabond Souls: The Ionia Chronicles: Book 2 Page 10