Jason leaned toward Annie, lacing his fingers together. “Annie, this has to stop.”
“Jason—”
He held up a hand and pinned her with his dark, tortured gaze. “Hear me out. We can’t go on like this. Sooner or later, I’m bound to hurt you. I doubt I can even remain here in England, or ever provide you with an adequate future.”
“Do you think I care about money?” she cried. “And I think you are making excuses.”
“Perhaps I am.” He stared at her in anguish.
“But why?”
“I just…” He gestured helplessly. “There are complications. Forces that are too frightening, too dangerous, for us even to talk about. I…just can’t give you what you need.”
Her eyes flared with bitterness. “It sounds to me as if you won’t.”
“Perhaps so,” he conceded.
“Then give me what you can,” she pleaded.
“No!” he cried.
Jason stood and began to pace, staring at Annie in anguish. She regarded him with hurt and bewilderment.
“Don’t you see?” he asked distraughtly. “We can’t risk this happening ever again. In the end you’ll only get hurt—and you could even become pregnant.”
Listening to him, Annie was in torment herself as she realized at last that Jason could not possibly love her. If he did, how could he spurn her this way?
“Do you think I would try to trap you into marriage?” she asked angrily, getting to her feet. “Do you presume that this is why I came to you today?”
He stepped toward her. “Of course not, darling, but—”
“I came to you because I—”
He quickly crossed the distance between them and grasped her by the shoulders. “Don’t say it!” he pleaded. “Please, you must never say it. You will only make things much worse in the end—for both me and you.”
Now she shoved him away and regarded him with anger and disillusionment. “After what we just shared, you won’t even hear my feelings?”
“I can’t,” he said hoarsely. Though it killed him to say these things, he knew he must bring her to her senses. “The truth is, I think we are wrong for each other and I can’t ever marry you.”
“Then what just happened between us?” she cried. “The passion of the moment?”
He could only groan.
Despite the tears now gleaming in her eyes, Annie drew herself up with pride. “I see that I have deluded myself about you, Jason. Perhaps Father was right. You and I are too different. I may have felt a certain passion for you, but that was only a fleeting thing. What I really need is someone trustworthy and solid—someone like Stephen.”
“Annie! You can’t mean that!”
“I do!” she flared. “With Stephen, I have elements in common, and we can build a good future together.” Her expression was one of intense disillusionment. “You are not the man I thought you were, Jason. This was—only an infatuation.”
“Annie—are you sure?” he asked in anguish.
“Yes. I am sure. After being with you today, I know now that it is Stephen I truly love.”
Jason was in hell. He still did not trust Stephen with Annie—and yet how could he know that with him, she would fare any better? He seemed damned every way he turned!
“I—I’m sorry things turned out this way,” he said helplessly.
“Of course you are.” Her words were cutting as she headed for the door.
“Annie, please,” he pleaded, following her. “I truly am sorry. Can’t we at least try to part as friends?”
She turned to him, her face eloquent with her emotional struggle. At last she sighed and said, “You are right, Jason. After all, you never made me any promises. You never said you would stay. It is not your fault that I threw myself at you today.”
“Annie, I’ll not have you speaking of yourself in such a manner!”
Tears glistened in her eyes. “But it is the truth, isn’t it? It is not your fault that you…” Brokenly, she finished, “Don’t love me.”
Jason almost lost all control then, almost cried out his love for her and rushed over to beg her forgiveness. In the nick of time, he managed to remind himself that such a reckless, selfish action might well cause her death.
“I—I don’t know what to say,” he murmured at last, clenching his fists.
“Will you be leaving for America soon?” she asked.
“Most likely, yes,” he admitted.
“Will you at least come celebrate Christmas Eve with us at the hotel before you go?”
He was incredulous. “Annie, you must be joking. Your father and Stephen will roast me up with the Yule log.”
“No, they won’t,” she insisted. “I won’t allow it. And didn’t you just say you wanted us to part as friends?” Thrusting her chin high, she added, “You will want to see how happy I’ll be with Stephen, won’t you?”
Jason could have died on the spot.
She stepped closer and spoke more gently. “At least drop by, so we shall both know that we part without ill will.” Almost helplessly, she added, “Jason, it’s Christmastime, and you mustn’t be alone. And you can’t simply disappear this way. Our boarders—particularly Miss Mary and Miss Media—keep asking about you. You must tell everyone good-bye.”
Jason felt too defeated to protest. “Very well, Annie.”
His heart felt broken as he watched her leave. He told himself that he had made the only right choice. Still, his agony brought him to his knees and tore an anguished sound from his lungs.
Annie, too, left Jason with a heavy heart. While she knew now that she would never have Jason’s love, she could console herself with the remembrance of their glorious lovemaking, and the knowledge that she had acted in his best interests, that she had assured his happiness, even if at the loss of her own.
At least the two of them would get to spend Christmas Eve together. With that memory to treasure in her heart, perhaps she could get through the bleak years ahead.
And Annie couldn’t deny that she had been just a little perverse, a little selfish, in her final invitation to Jason. She could not help but cling to the hope that, when he saw her with Stephen on Christmas Eve, he would have a change of heart and come back to her forever….
CHAPTER NINE
Jason did not know which way to turn.
Following his emotional encounter with Annie, he was besieged by heartache and indecision. The memory of making love to her was so beautiful to him that he wanted nothing more than to rush to her and beg her forgiveness for his seemingly callous rejection of her afterward. Yet how could he know that such a move would not bring disaster hurtling down upon her?
On the other hand, she now seemed determined to wed Stephen, and this possibility filled him with equal fear and dread. If only he could know for certain whether it was to be himself or Stephen who was destined to hurt her on Christmas Eve! And that day was now almost here!
On the day before Christmas Eve, Jason decided to visit Stephen in his haberdashery in Mayfair. Sweeping through the front door of the elegant establishment, Jason noted that the gaily decorated shop swarmed with noisy customers and the air was redolent with the mingling smells of Christmas greenery, male toiletries, and new cloth. Both male and female customers were present, many of them sitting on plush ottomans sipping hot, spiced tea as clerks scurried about, showing the latest gentlemanly fashions.
Jason managed to flag down a clerk who was racing by, trying to juggle at least a dozen hats. The harried employee showed Jason to Stephen’s office in the back. As expected, Jason’s reception there was cold. On spotting Jason in the portal, Stephen arose from his desk and spoke with hostility.
“Burke—what are you doing here?”
Jason faced down the other man unflinchingly. “I came to speak with you because I am concerned about Annie.”
“Hah!” Stephen scoffed. “That did not stop you from doing your best to put Annie and myself asunder.”
Jason nodded grimly. �
�Obviously, that was a mistake on my part.”
“Indeed!”
Jason offered a gesture of conciliation. “Please, can’t we put aside our mutual antagonism for a moment and think instead about Annie’s best interests?”
Now Stephen appeared both insulted and perplexed. “Of course, I am always solicitous of Annie’s welfare. But what, specifically, is your concern?”
“Have you seen her?” Jason asked anxiously.
After hesitating a moment, Stephen admitted, “We have been very busy with the Christmas crush. But yes, I did see Annie briefly a few days ago when she stopped by the shop.” He flashed Jason a triumphant smile. “She told me she is willing to renew our commitment.”
Jason sighed. “She loves you, you know.”
Stephen appeared pleasantly surprised. “She does?”
“That is what she told me.”
Stephen frowned darkly. “Then it puzzles me that she would confide such intimate feelings to you, rather than speaking with me.”
“Sometimes it is easier to confide in a friend,” Jason stated carefully. “And what of your commitment to her, Prescott?”
“What do you mean?” Stephen countered defensively.
“Are you going to give up your mistress now?”
Stephen turned as white as some of the papers on his desk. “What makes you think I have a mistress?”
Jason laughed ruefully. “Don’t be coy, Prescott. It’s unbecoming. On the night we all met, I overheard some gossip in the hotel drawing room, and that’s when I became aware of your shabby little affair. Have you never considered how hurt Annie may become if she ever learns of your betrayal? What if the next time, she is the one who overhears such a rumor?”
“Have you told her of your suspicions?” Stephen demanded angrily.
“Certainly not. Believe it or not, I want what is best for her. She loves you—and therefore, I would not deliberately try to sabotage her happiness.”
Stephen nodded. With surprising humility, he said, “Listen, Burke, as much as I have resented your presence here, I must admit that your romantic competition has taught me a lesson.”
“In what way?”
“I almost lost Annie. This is something I will never forget, for whether you believe it or not, I really do love her. As for my mistress—I have already ended the liaison. And I promise you that I will never again do anything to hurt Annie or compromise her happiness.”
Jason regarded Stephen with surprise and some lingering doubt. “If what you say is true, then I must congratulate you on coming to your senses.”
“You have my solemn word that I have.”
“Are you willing to shake on that?”
“Of course.”
After the two men shook hands, Stephen asked, “What of you, Burke? What are your plans?”
“I…” Awkwardly, Jason related, “I’ll most likely be returning to America right after Christmas. In the meantime—I did want to warn you that Annie has invited me to attend the Christmas Eve gathering at the hotel. She wanted me to stop by and tell everyone good-bye—and I think it is also important to her that she and I part as friends.”
“Burke…” Stephen shook his head resignedly. “Leave it alone, will you? Let her go. I assure you, she is in very good hands.”
“I suppose she is,” Jason felt impelled to admit as he left.
He had accomplished his purpose here. This realization brought Jason both joy and sorrow. He knew now that he must have been brought here to bring Annie and Stephen together, and especially, to make Stephen realize that he could never toy with Annie’s affections, or betray her.
He realized, too, that Stephen was right that he needed to bow out now. Why prolong things by spending Christmas Eve with Annie when it was even possible that he might be whisked away to the present right before her very eyes? Again, he remembered the prophecy, “You’ll come back on Christmas Eve.” His mission here was completed, and he had the feeling that he might indeed soon return to his own world, his own time. He would have to cope with the heartache of losing Annie—but never would he lose the new hope and positive outlook on life she had given him.
But he also knew that he had to see Annie one last time to make certain that she was content in her decision to wed Stephen, and also to bid her good-bye.
Early on Christmas Eve morning he stopped by the Simmons Hotel, taking with him a Christmas present he had bought for Annie. In the downstairs hallway, he was greeted by a stern-faced Oscar Simmons.
“I am glad you’ve stopped in, Burke,” Simmons greeted him coldly. “You have saved me a trip by the newspaper office.”
“Sir, I would like to speak with Annie,” Jason stated firmly.
“My daughter does not wish to see you,” came the contemptuous reply. “If you will join me in my office, she asked me to give you something.”
Bemused, Jason followed Oscar into the office. Oscar handed him an envelope. Jason opened it and, to his surprise and keen disappointment, he found inside a ticket for a steamer bound for New York.
The steamer was scheduled to depart the London docks tonight!
Jason glanced skeptically at Oscar. “Annie asked you to give me this?”
He nodded. “As I said, my daughter does not care to see you again. She is far too busy planning her wedding to Stephen.”
“But—she asked me to spend this evening with all of you,” Jason protested. “Indeed, she made me promise I would attend your Christmas Eve gathering.”
Oscar gestured toward the ticket. “I think you have the answer to that right there.” Vehemently, he added, “For God’s sake, man, leave well enough alone! Haven’t you done my daughter enough damage already? Let her enjoy Christmas Eve in peace—with her father and her fiancé.”
“Will you at least give Annie my present?” Jason asked, extending the box.
Oscar Simmons took the gift without comment, and Jason left.
Jason went back by the newspaper office and handed Mr. Spencer both his final column and his resignation.
The old gentleman appeared keenly disappointed, saying, “I had such high hopes for your future here with us.”
“I must apologize for leaving so suddenly,” Jason replied. “But I’ve now finished my ‘American in London’ series, and I think it is time that I head back where I belong.”
“If it is a matter of money,” Spencer said, “I was already thinking of giving you an increase. Also, I was not speaking idly at the Holcombs’ dinner party when I said that one day you will likely be running this place.”
“I know, Mr. Spencer, and I really appreciate your faith in me. I simply feel that my destiny lies elsewhere.”
The two men said their good-byes, and Jason returned to his boarding house to pack.
That night, as Jason stood on the deck of the steamer looking out through the fog at the cluttered St. Katherine docks, he could hear the church bells tolling in the distance, their joyous tones seeming to mock him now.
Eight o’clock. Annie’s gathering should be starting. Would she regret sending him away? Would she miss spending Christmas Eve with him, just as he was filled with anguish to be apart from her now?
He wondered idly what would happen to him. It didn’t seem to matter that much, now that he knew he could never have Annie’s love. Would he indeed travel on to America—where he might look up his ancestors, as well as the mysterious Finias Fogg—and start a new life there? Would he be whisked back to his own time before the steamer even left the London docks?
Did he care? What mattered was that Annie’s happiness, her future, had been secured. He ached more than ever to go to her, yet he could not risk upsetting the delicate denouement he had established in her life.
Then, all at once, Jason was stunned to watch Stephen Prescott hurry up the gangplank!
Jason crossed the deck to confront the other man. “What in God’s name are you doing here? Why aren’t you with Annie?”
“Burke.” Stephen was huffing from
the cold and exertion. “Thank God I’ve caught you in time. It was pure hell getting Oscar to tell me which steamer you were taking.”
“But why did you wish to find me?” Jason asked incredulously.
Regret and anguish tightened Stephen’s features. “I may be a cad, but I’m not that much of a cad. You must go to Annie immediately.”
Jason remained flabbergasted. “And you must explain what you are talking about.”
Stephen nodded. “As I told you yesterday, I’ve only seen Annie once during the past few days. I really had no idea the situation had gotten so grave.…”
“For heaven’s sake, man!” Jason burst out impatiently. “Out with it!”
“I went by the Simmons Hotel two hours ago to ask Annie out for an early supper. That is when Oscar admitted to me that she has been crying in her room almost nonstop for days now—ever since you broke things off with her.”
“What?” Jason cried.
“Oscar is furious at you for hurting Annie,” Stephen continued in a rush. “He admitted to me that he bought the steamer ticket and gave it to you, claiming that it had actually come from Annie.”
“You mean that—”
“Annie has no idea of what has truly transpired. And Oscar told me he cannot wait to tell her that you have left.”
“Oh, my God,” Jason muttered. “But why have you come to me now?”
Stephen drew a heavy breath. “Because, whether you believe it or not, I too want Annie to be happy. I’ve been deluding myself ever since you appeared here in London. I know now that it is you who she really loves. And when Oscar tells her that you have left her on Christmas Eve, without even saying good-bye, it is going to kill her.”
It is going to kill her! Jason was left reeling as Stephen’s ominous words reverberated through his brain, along with Annie’s dire warning from the present: I died on these steps on Christmas Eve in 1852, when I learned that my true love had deserted me.
Oh, merciful heavens, what had he done? He realized that Stephen was right! Through trying to act in Annie’s best interests, he had instead doomed her! He had brought about the very calamity that he had struggled so hard to prevent. For he was Annie’s true love, and now he had deserted her—on Christmas Eve! And, when her father told her that he was gone, that he had broken his promise, she would die!
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